Tony Gorder

Full-time creative director. Part-time mass communications grad student. Occasional freelance reporter. I used to bullseye womp rats in my T-16 back home.

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Demons in the night

Cultural explanations for sleep paralysis focus on the supernatural, but researchers now know better. Read more here.

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Teen health scare is just buzz

I wrote about the bad reporting surrounding a very silly subject. Read it here. 

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This Star Wars thread is intense.

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Tony Gorder: Champion of Whatever

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I’m lovin’ it™

It’s late.

I should know better, but I can’t stop thinking about you. It’s cold nights like these I desire you most. I need you.

Now.

I try to talk myself out of it, but in reality, I’ve already made up my mind. I know exactly what I want, and nothing’s going to stop me. I hastily walk out the door and into my car. I pull up to your place and wait. I don’t get out. I wait for you to come to me.

You always do.

Your sexy aroma fills my car as you ride in the passenger seat, tempting my hand, drawing it nearer to you. But I resist and let the anticipation build.

It’s better that way.

When we walk inside my apartment, I don’t even sit down before I press you against my lips.

Then we get down to business.

When I’m finished having my way with you, I immediately regret what happened. I can barely look at you afterward. I can still smell you once you’re gone. You disgust me.

I’m disgusted with myself.

But you and I both know I’ll be back on another night just like this, my large Big Mac and fries. Because you’re my late-night McLover.

And I’m lovin’ it.™

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Dress to impress with the job fair trench coat

Keloland News linked to a story on Twitter about the BIG (business, industry and government) Job Fair in Sioux Falls, and they included this wonderful photo.

The BIG Job Fair has just begun. Learn more about it online: http://t.co/DzmJOdOJHg pic.twitter.com/Cdn5Z0T8MB

— KELO News (@keloland)

February 25, 2014

You nailed it, buddy.

[tonygorder]

America to pick National Thanksgiving turkey

It turns out those government “death panels” are real. The worst part? We are the panelists.

The hip, social-media friendly Obama administration has decided to crowdsource the choosing of the 2013 National Thanksgiving Turkey for the second year in a row, allowing the president to wash his hands of the decision, much like Pontius Pilate.

Americans can choose between Popcorn or Caramel.  Both are Minnesota turkeys and have a far less fortunate sibling. And like most elections, both turkeys are white males. SMDH.

You can cast your vote over at WhiteHouse.gov/turkey.

But don’t worry. Both turkeys will ultimately be pardoned.