Brienne deserves to be loved
I know we’re all mad about Jaime’s character assassination, but I don’t want to lose sight of the fact that Brienne also got a shitty ending.
This is a woman who has had a lifetime of ridicule, exclusion and judgement. Excluding book back-story, and only going by the show, we know that she had faced humiliation and rejection, from boys/men, which was such a norm to her, that when one boy/man (it’s not clear how old they were) offered some kindness and humanity towards her, she became unconditionally, and knowingly unrequitedly, in-love with him.
She left Tarth for Renly. To fight for one of few people she had ever known, to be worthy of her strength, loyalty and honour.
When Renly died, her heart was broken. Salt in the wound: people speculated that she had killed him. She soldiered on however, fighting for Catelyn and her family.
Meeting Jaime was huge for her. Not only did she learn about the grey-areas in morality (because she starts out so binary in her beliefs), but she turns him around. Unlike Renly, who she fell for, but who seemingly little more than respected her, Jaime grew to admire Brienne. She was everything he wanted to be, and was a massive influence on him. He armed her, armoured her, knighted her. He fell in love with her.
Did she ever know how he felt? She deserved to have that acknowledged and his love for her validated, as more than just a brief fling that will likely haunt her. Something that she might forever question the meaning of, because ultimately, she probably feels like she wasn’t enough.
When she is knighted, it’s a wonderful moment of recognition that she is more deserving of the title than any man in the seven kingdoms. It’s truly satisfying. It feels true to who she is.
The story ending with her as Lord Commander of the King’s Guard however, does not.
This is a person who follows her heart. Literally. Is it believable that she would leave Sansa’s side to serve Bran, someone she has interacted very little with? That she would take up the title, and quarters, of a man she had loved, but that had rejected her.
It paints a picture for me: in the end, Brienne accepts that no-one will ever love her, the way she loves others. She’s undeserving. She doesn’t deserve love, family, legacy, Tarth… She’s unworthy of all of it. This is all she could ever hope for. Maybe her purpose was simply to redeem Jaime, in that great, white book.
What makes Brienne remarkable, isn’t her strength. It’s not her height, the way she looks and carries herself. It’s not how honourable and chivalrous she is. It’s not that she beat the Hound in single combat. It’s that she is all of those things, with a big, beating and beautiful heart. She is sweet and caring, but can also cut men down like weeds.
We’ve seen strong female characters, who are beautiful, and sensitive, and fall in love. We’ve seen ‘unconventional’ female characters who are strong, but de-sexualised and cold. We’ve yet to see where those venn diagrams meet, and the beautiful stories and lessons that we might extract from that.
This was, and is, GRRM’s vision.
She deserves to be loved, just like all of us.
