Brain Fart?

Pulling the thoughts out of my mind -- http://ko-fi.com/tootmany -- I'll eat for you

[systlin]

Sometimes, when it’s 11:30 at night and I’m up to my wrists in mayonnaise slathering it onto a nutria hide in the bathtub to ‘brain’ tan it, I realize that I have weird hobbies. 

[systlin]

On the plus side my hands are super moisturized now. 

[rootsandwishes]

can you uh…. give us the results of this? did it work? bc I’ve been putting off vulturing bc I thought you needed specific tools

[systlin]

Well I’ll be drying and working it today so I’ll let ya know!

[a-krogan-skald-and-bearsark]

So what exactly is the procedure for this? *Sits with notebook*

[systlin]

1. Take fur. If dried, soak in warm salt water until pliable. 

2. Flesh any membrane or bits off if any are left. 

3. Smear with mayo. Work it in there. Both sides. Should be a good thick coat, like you’re making a BLT. (The traditional fatty solution used for this is brains, but I didn’t have any. You can also mix egg yolks with oil yourself, but hey Aldi has jars of mayo, aka egg yolks already mixed with oil, for like, $2.)

4. Roll in wet towel and let sit. How long? Depends on the hide. Thicker it is the longer you let it sit. I left it for 12 hours. If it was a larger thicker fur I’d have left it for a day or two. 

5. Rinse in warm water to get mayo off. 

6. Let dry, breaking in as it does. Do NOT use heat. If you find some stiff bits that won’t go white as they break in, it needs more time in the fat. Go back to step 3. 

7. Once dry and broken in, smoke it to waterproof it and preserve the flexibility. Sorta fold it in half, sew the edges together to make a sack with an open end, jam a couple sticks in there to prop the sack open, and suspend over some coals with punky damp stuff on top to make lotsa smoke. Smoke until an even golden color. 

8. Cut threads you used to sew it into a sack. Wash fur with shampoo to get any grease out, and let dry. If properly smoked, it’ll stay soft and nice as it dries.

9. U done good job!

[systlin]

“Systlin how the fuck do you know this”

I was a weird kid with a library card

[systlin]

Also, @rootsandwishes, results are; great. Worked perfectly. Still needs smoking, but since the wind outside is like 40mph right now that’ll wait for another day. (once broken in, you can wait to smoke it. Just don’t get the leather or fur wet, or you’ll have to break it in all over again.)

Fur now soft and pliable and ready for smoking. Hair slip; none. 

[dancing-thru-clouds]

So, when I get out to Iowa and take up bowhunting, if you go in with me on a couple deer tags I’ll just, yanno, GIVE you a raw deerhide

[systlin]

I like this plan. This is a good plan. 

[tootmany]

Tying the Strings Together

[we-are-rogue]

The Deck of Certain Things, or: The Joke Item That Almost Destroyed my Campaign

[by u/astonishingantman / reddit]

“I created this thing over two years ago as a joke item. One of my players became convinced that I was trying to trick them, and that it was a real Deck of Many Things. His paranoia spread, and the party nearly killed each other over it. After some impromptu group therapy, they decided to leave the Deck be and never speak of it again.

So now you get to use it. Have fun!”

Deck of Certain Things

Wondrous Item, Legendary

A set of 10 cards that come in a small box. “Deck of Certain Things” has been crudely carved into the box’s lid in Common.

Before you draw a card, you must declare how many cards you intend to draw and then draw them randomly (you can use a d10 to simulate the deck). Any cards drawn in excess of this number have no effect. Otherwise, as soon as you draw a card from the deck, its magic takes effect. Each card must be drawn no more than 1 hour after the previous draw. If you fail to draw the chosen number, the remaining cards fly from the deck and take effect all at once. Once a card is drawn it cannot reappear.

Once all 10 cards have been drawn, a pair of Gloves of Thievery appear in the deck box, along with a note thanking the Deck’s owner for the fun.

The cards are decorated with shoddy-looking artwork, seemingly scribbled with crayon. They are:

Acorn: 3d8 terrified squirrels are transported to your location from elsewhere on the material plane.

Fireworks: Your weapon explodes into a shower of brightly-colored glitter. It reforms in 1 hour.

Prospector: A wooden chest containing 10,000 pieces of counterfeit gold drops at your feet. The coins show a winking jester on both sides.

Liar: For the next 1d12 hours, telling a lie causes your trousers to ignite, dealing 1d6 points of fire damage.

Honey Jar: Summons a friendly sentient bear named Sigmund, who acts as an apothecary, selling the party potions from his backpack. He vanishes after 1d20 minutes.

Wallflower: You instantly succeed on all Insight checks for 24 hours, but fail all Intimidation checks.

Invitation: An imp appears in a burst of smoke, kicks you in the shins, then vanishes.

Nightmare: All items worn on your person, with the exception of undergarments, turn invisible for 1d4 hours.

Quill: A flameskull appears in front of you, delivers a heartfelt soliloquy, then explodes in a pillar of green flame. All creatures within 5 feet must make a Dexterity saving throw or take 2d10 fire damage.

Infant: For the next hour your voice is replaced with the shrill cries of a baby. You are unable to communicate through speech or cast spells with a verbal component.

[dungeons-and-captions]

[image description: an illustration of several well-worn playing cards, fanning out in front of a white background. The only visible cards are the two on top, one that shows a pink crystal held in the palm of a hand, and the other that shows a grim reaper.]

[tootmany]

I see shit like this every day on facebook.  I made a facebook to check up on family members, but half of em are incredibly bigoted.  Kindly fuck off, thanks.  It’s hard to not just flip your lid over this, but you definitely cannot teach anyone like that because being upset somehow is invalidating.  Not so kindly- fuck off.  Sorry, I’m ranting here.

[tootmany]

Backpack.. to carry my Cat?

Thinking about getting a pet carrier backpack.  Not sure how the rabbits would like it, but I think my cat would appreciate it.  New smells to smell and the safety and comfort of her own little box.  Regular pet carriers are just straight up inconvenient to lug around but I think we could make a backpack fun.

[tootmany]

The sweet face of a culprit

[tootmany]

Tiny

[tootmany]

Pokemon Starters

If given the choice of a pokemon starter, I would probably choose whichever one seemed to choose me.  In the event that they all thought I was trash, I would probably pick whichever seemed most friendly about it.  Somehow, that seems the most likely outcome.

I wanna be the very best! ... for the sake of my pokemon.  (also screw fighting, unless that is what they really want to do)

[riley-coyotl]

Feel free to share

[tootmany]

“Snibbles” - a great photo, nay, an inspiring piece of art!  One of my favorite blurry pictures of the pets.

[kaijutegu]

A couple of thoughts because I was re-reading some Discourse and it seems like people are missing the point entirely. 

You can love your animals and still do something irresponsible. You can be a good person, a genuinely good person who does the best for their animals, and still do something irresponsible. You can have really good care 99% of the time and still do something irresponsible. A quick bad decision doesn’t necessarily make you a bad pet owner. Not every day or every instance is indicative of your overall care and ability as a pet owner. Accidents happen! Sometimes you take risks! Sometimes you HAVE to take risks! Sometimes the risk is honestly for the animal’s benefit! Sometimes you’re just not thinking! 

But you don’t have to put every picture of your animal(s) on social media. In fact, you should actively curate what you put on social media re: animals because that’s a narrative you get to control. You get to put information out there about what you do and the way you care for your pets. You don’t have to be honest about every one-off event. It’s great to be honest and open about the challenges and daily events of living with animals, but not everything needs to be publicly displayed, especially with minimal context.

If you’re an educator, this goes double. If you have exotics that are regularly poorly-cared for, like ball pythons, this goes triple. People will take you at your word, they’ll look to you as an example of what to do. If your mission is educational, educate responsibly. Don’t post potentially dangerous situations with cute captions. If you do post them, then at least explain why this isn’t normal, why this isn’t a thing that should be done regularly. Explain how you’ll take steps to make sure that it doesn’t happen again, because how can you be an educator without advocating for responsible care and ownership? 

It’s not dishonest to not post everything you do. Nobody’s perfect, nobody’s Right All The Time. But if you’re trying to share uplifting, happy things, or you’re trying to educate, then think about what you’re posting and why. 

[flowerais-deactivated20211031]

You’re healing every time you

get out of bed because there’s something you’re excited about.

don’t think about people who left.

clean the clutter in the room and dishes in your sink.

smile at yourself and random people.

do something kind and out of the blue to make someone happy.

work out or meet with friends even though you have no energy to.

calm yourself down when your thoughts race.

remember to drink water.

don’t dwell on things you can’t control.

do things good for yourself, even though you have no motivation.

tell yourself that you’re growing from this, and you won’t feel like this forever.

[llovinghome]

[tootmany]

Quick Tip for Managing Stress

If you are behind on chores, looking around at a mess can feel too overwhelming.  I find that writing a list breaking it down into smaller, more manageable tasks can make it feel a lot less daunting.

Example: ‘Clean the Kitchen’ vs ‘Wash dishes, put away dishes, wash countertops, sweep floor, mop floor, etc’

It takes a lot longer to cross Clean the Kitchen off your list and it can feel like you aren’t getting much done, but the reality is different.  Make your detailed list and cross off the little things as you get to it.  Recognizing that you are making progress is important for your mental well being.

[tootmany]

I would like to post more pictures of my animals but they are always on me and I am always naked.

[tootmany]

My favorite thing is when people unexpectedly fall in love with an animal they never thought they would (like dog lovers getting to know a cat, etc)

[tootmany]

Sometimes humans do terrible things... but it is important to remember that we have also created some of the best things in existence: toilet paper and dogs.