OPEN UP YOUR HEART, LIKE THE GATES OF HELL

she/they, 30something, bi, silly billy

[dogpuppy]

[hidinginalaska]

People say that female characters should have flaws and be wrong but they can't even handle Peggy Hill

[zooiboo]

me remembering all of the personal information I’ve shared with ppl I no longer talk to:

[grimeclown]

I got a job at a gas station across from a casino and a guy keeps coming in to buy whole cartons of cigarettes and talks in the third person calling himself "snake eyes pete" and every time I tell him his total hes like "tell ya what if old Pete rolls a snake eyes why dont you give it to him for free?" and he rolls the same set of loaded dice on the counter and it does not matter how many times he rolls snake eyes I will not give him the cartons for free he gets so mad

[grimeclown]

Snakeyes Pete is from Toronto he gave me a button once that said "Canadians have the best luck" and i said i thought that was the Irish and he said "I fucking hate the irish" and i said okay

[post-futurism]

holographic scans of a very old copy of Dune by Frank Herbert

[timberwind]

you can post on tumblr even when you're trying to take a break from social media it literally doesn't count. it's like pepsi max, or pescatarianism

[juicydangler]

[gothicprep]

are you gonna pick those penne noodles out of the boiling water one by one like a man, or are you gonna use a strainer like some kind of democrat?

[cash4bees]

I think the reason I still enjoy tumblr is that even though this all still pisses me off, I know that anything that makes me mad on here is 100% earnest. It's not ragebait or engagement farming, y'all are actually just that stupid sometimes

[grimeclown]

 “hi welcome to mcdonalds what can i get for you?”

“yeah can i get a deluxe quarter pounder with cheese?”

“absolutely, do you want the meal or just the sandwich?’

“uuuuuh hold on”

*fishes something out of my pocket*

“mikey what do i do?”

“get the fries. youll need the energy in the coming days”

*stuffs it back in my pocket*

“uhh yes please  the meal would be great”

[medievalthymes]

how it feels to read 85 pages of a book in one sitting

[catboybiologist]

Ice beam is low-key a sauceless "standard" move for its type

[catboybiologist]

Earthquake? That is THE ground move. The ground quakes beneath you.

Surf? A giant wave of water that your pokemon can ride. A thunderous tide. Invokes the ocean.

Thunderbolt? Arcing flashes of electricity zap you.

Flamethrower? Fire breath, fire throwing, an arc of propelled flame is classic.

Ice beam? It's a beam. Of ice. Could've been a gust of frigid wind, or a frost incursion, or being entombed in a glacial slab, but noooooo it's a beam. Of ice.

[kittycatwhore]

yes but it goes foowaaaa ting ting ting ting ting ting and i really like that part

[catboybiologist]

Fuck you're right post cancelled

[birdsareblooming]

pandora’s box but it’s a gamecube

[birdsareblooming]

girl no

[sonicbible]

She opens up the disc drive and all the horrors of the world are released but there is also a copy of Sonic Adventure 2 Battle

[dogpuppy]

[nineteenyearoldmeblog]

im fucking crying

[hamletofficial]

For the others, we can say that Muad’Dib learned rapidly because his first training was in how to learn. And the first lesson of all was the basic trust that he could learn. It is shocking to find how many people do not believe they can learn, and how many more believe learning to be difficult.

— Frank Herbert, Dune.

[sopaipillasvoladoras]

[dogpuppy]

[clubpenguinkiller]

cats always step precisely on your most sensitive areas when theyre crawling on you lovingly for cuddles. bladder dick ovaries boobs stomach bruise it doesnt matter. they have homing devices on their paws for the exact area you’re most tender at the moment and they put their full weight into that step. and sometimes they might keep their stance midstride so theyre just standing there forever forcing you to endure the pain. because they are simply too cute to get mad at