Scott

Warning: Dark Humour Ahead

[topofthechain]

[niknak79]

[actuallybenwyatt]

I met a couple Australians this weekend and they introduced me to what is possibly the greatest phrase in the English language. Apparently, a common response to a wide variety of questions is “I’m not here to fuck spiders”. It means “I’m already doing that” or “Obviously, yeah”. So like, example usage:

At the bar with a friend. Friend: do you want to get a beer? Me: well, I’m not here to fuck spiders.

[axe-fx-deactivated20200722]

ive literally never heard someone say that what fuckin australians did you meet

[heartfeltdelight]

mate those Australians introduced you to the grand Australian tradition of fucking with foreigners and making them believe anything about Australia

[moomin420]

[cosmicanatomy]

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

This conversation just got better and better as it went on…

[haramzayn-blog]

[nickxdee-deactivated20181221]

THIS IS NEVER NOT FUNNY

[you-want-this-url-huh]

i really thought they were talking about colons at first

[pleatedjeans]

via

[redditfront]

[sizvideos]

[perissologist]

THIS TURNED OUT SO MUCH BETTER THAN EXPECTED

[tastefullyoffensive]

[exoergic]

[gamechangershow]

[noobtheloser]

I made this.

[imsoshive]

[chismosavirus]

what if an ouija board was like an afterlife call center

“hey joey, line 396 is open. three teenagers in the dark want to talk to some ghost or something” 

“i’m gonna prank them so hard”

“joey no”

“im gonna say i’m satan”

“JOEY THIS IS WHY THEY MADE A SHITTY MOVIE ABOUT US”

[justtouchedawkwardly-deactivate]

first I was afraid

[givemeinternet]

[cheddarpug-deactivated20190810]

[princesswitchy]

im crying

[midnightjellys]

i was crying and now i’m not. this is incredible.

[ashwilliamsrighthand]

I need three hours of this.

[myanxietyisabitch-deactivated20]

Oh dear