you should be working...

just a bunch of things that make me happy/laugh/think

[ladyjencroft]

Well… 🤷🏻‍♀️

[hxans]

[lpbear]

[weeniebagel]

norman reedus and his son mingus dont look related at all

[weeniebagel]

this looks like matty b raps took a blind homeless man to a basketball game instead of a nice family photo

[pissvortex]

fuck you thats not his name

[pissvortex]

kill all human life

[lithographarry]

mood

[averruncusho]

Mood

[clockworkman]

Mood

[jumping-junimos]

mood

[liz-cat-meow-deactivated2020011]

school is over!! u know what that means!! ;)

[liz-cat-meow-deactivated2020011]

*doesnt know how to manage unstructured time*

[feministism]

[fingers-in-his]

ass

[fingers-in-his]

ass

[kanye-west-he]

likes

[fingers-in-his]

ass

[fingers-in-his]

Please Stop Reblogging This. Tumblr’s New Notification System Is Killing Me. Ple

[fingers-in-his]

Hell Is Not Worth The Price Of This

[yekkes]

Dude this one customer was like MY SON HAS TO GET A JOB AND STOP MOOCHING OFF MY MONEY. And I was like “how old is he?” And she was like “17” and I was like. Holy shit you’re a freak! Lmao. Like teens can get jobs sure but he’s still a child you’re responsible for acting like he’s mooching off you when it’s YOUR responsibility to take care of him. What a fucking freak I hate capitalism lmao

[yekkes]

Imagine actually acting like this @ your child I can’t get over how evil this is

[matronofthevoid]

i hate to break it to a lot of people but uh….your Parental Duties do not stop once your child is old enough to legally find a job. 

if you think the ‘legal’ cutoff age for you having to be a parent is 18 then i’m sorta thinking that maybe you shouldn’t have ever been parents to begin with lmao

being a parent is a lifetime commitment you don’t get to opt out of when your kid is legally declared an adult. you brought a human being into this world and now you have to be responsible and love and care for them until you motherfucking die. maybe not financially but definitely emotionally. holy shit.

[cyborgsmanifesto]

dealing with the worst case scenario

your condom breaks

you feel a lump on your breast

your friends are ignoring you

you’re stranded on an island 

you got rejected by a crush

you get into a car accident

you got stung by a bee/wasp

you got fired from your job

you’re in an earthquake

your tattoo gets infected

your house is on fire

you’re lost in the woods

you get arrested abroad

you get robbed

your partner cheated on you

you’re on a ship that’s sinking

you fall into ice

you’re stuck in an elevator

you hit a deer with your car

you have food poisoning

your pet passed away

you fall off of a horse

you or your friend has alcohol poisoning

you have toxic shock syndrome

your house has a gas leak

[4velitta4]

I feel like this could be useful in my future

[astrologypixies-deactivated2016]

REBLOG THIS. I CANNOT STRESS HOW IMPORTANT THIS GUIDES ARE, BOOST THIS SHIT

[getupoffyourcassbutt]

If I don’t reblog this one of these things is definitely going to happen to me

[a-very-real-human-deactivated20]

this will help me when i panic

[transgarrett]

insta influencers travelling to the chernobyl exclusion zone (and spending thousands of dollars to get there) only to pose next to contaminated debris and raise their chances of developing cancer bc of a popular docudrama sounds like an onion article but we really are living in a society huh

[transgarrett]

CLOWNS

[charmed]

THE LAST ONE REALLY GOT NAKED LIKE WHAT

[criptochecca]

[one-time-i-dreamt]

not a dream

I was talking to a woman at the dog park today and she has a Facebook page for her dogs with around 200 likes where she posts pictures of them and original content, and we were chatting about that. I was complimenting her on it and expressed my interest in making a page for my dogs too because I already take like 5000 pictures of them per day, and she got really rude to me (did she feel threatened by my hypothetical page? Idk) and ended up telling me that such things aren’t for everyone and that I should stick to something I can be good at. She was so condescending and talked down to me in such an ugly way that I’ve been sitting here for the past 20 minutes, debating if I should just make that page to spite her or something like that.

[tieflingteef]

do it

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I took everybody’s advice and made the page. I decided to call it “Pawble Trouble” because I have two dogs and they have paws, idk, like Double Trouble? I thought it was cute. Here it is. Thank you everyone for your advice. I have 2 likes now. I’m on the right track.

[one-time-i-dreamt]

People were asking for an update, so here it is. Many of you have advised me to make the site, collect the likes and tag the woman in every post I make until she sees that my page is more popular than hers. Although that advice was solid, it wasn’t really my style. But you know what is my style? Patience. So, I waited until Pawble Trouble got to a thousand likes (which took less than a week thanks to all of you) before I started inviting my Facebook friends to like the page. More specifically, everyone who was a mutual of me and the woman. A lot of them did like it and liked the posts and pictures of my dogs. I guess she saw one of the posts on her timeline and she saw the page, because a few days ago, she stopped me to sourly congratulate me on making the site. She was like, “It looks…nice.” And I was like, “Yeah, doesn’t it? So glad I didn’t listen to you.” 

[lvlnarrative]

Yes, the line that kills. Well done, very well done. 

[weloveshortvideos]

british summer is here.

[sixohsixoheightfourtwo]

[rain pouring] [thunder rumbling] [car horn blaring] “go on. wheyyyyyyy!! Oh no.” [in distance: “YOU IDIOT”, uproarious laughter] “why would you go through that. what are you doing. ahhh no, he’s actually floating!” “well of course he is. what a fucking bellend!” “what a knobhead!” “fucking hell.”

[psshaw]

ASMR. Rain AND instant cosmic punishment.

[squidbroom]

homophobes are not allowed to use computers because the inventor of the computer was gay

[local-chibi-girl]

People think this is just a joke but Alan Turing was the inventor of the computer and his sexuality was illegal in his time (which was not even 100 years ago) and he was arrested. They put him on drugs that destroyed his genius brain and committed suicide a year after being covicted. He was gay and a war hero as well. He helped to break enigma which was a German code that they put all their messages through. He shorted WWII by two years and saved so many lives in the process.

[anticritical-lapis]

Friendly reminder that if not for Alan Turing you wouldn’t be reading this post and we might be ruled by the nazis

[addycted]

The Alan Turing statue on my campus

[beefgameplays-deactivated202105]

wait fuck this is soooooo important always reblog

[requiem-4-a-drink-deactivated20]

hope your pets stay healthy in 2017

[rotg-fan-page]

I almost didn’t blog this and felt guilty

[ckascade-deactivated20170413]

Not risking it

[unorthodox-views]

hope ya pets even healthier in 2018

[zackisontumblr]

hope your pets discover immortality in 2019

[thedreadpiratejames]

[askclint]

clap BACK

[beesmygod]

“chuffed doesnt mean what you think it means”

it means exactly what i think it means its just some stupid word that literally has two definitions that mean the opposite thing

[mysterysnake-deactivated2013122]

what the hell

[ashwilliamsrighthand]

This makes me really chuffed

[pameladoove-deactivated20180821]

This post is quite egregious

[cornflakepizza]

Well I’m nonplussed by this whole post.

[fixyourwritinghabits]

goddamnit.

[leatherpatches-deactivated20150]

[conservative-libertarian-deacti]

[mattsunsthighs]

all of you go to hell

[divagonzo]

And you wonder why i am boggled at times

[inactive1346597623595641352]

These are called contronyms! A word that is its own opposite.

[rubes-dragon-deactivated2024030]

Why the fuck do these exist

[operativesurprise]

One theory is that the sarcastic use of the word became exceedingly prevalent and because another dictionary definition. 

[sufferingsappho-deactivated2017]

Are you telling me that we were such sarcastic shits it literally changed our language.

[nigenaide]

speaking as a linguist: yes. that is exactly what happened. isn’t it beautiful.

[marianthinks-deactivated2022111]

How had no one mentioned this guy:

[4gifs]

[the-absolute-best-gifs]

i think i laughed a little too hard

[doublepunishedtradchad-deactiva]