HIS KISS / THE RIOT.

We'd soldier on and then the WAR would bring us PEACE. mobile navigation tor·​pid | \ˈtȯr-pəd \ adj. having lost motion or the power of exertion or feeling : NUMB.

[torpidtm]

metanoia.

metanoia ; the journey of changing one's mind, heart, self, or way of life.

moving here now!! ICYMI

[torpidtm]

metanoia.

metanoia ; the journey of changing one's mind, heart, self, or way of life.

hi friends! I am moving to this blog!! and I have a new character!! so come find me here.

[primulaceas]

Isabel Allende, The House of the Spirits (translated by Magda Bogin)

[booksquoteslife]

[weltenwellen]

Danez Smith, from “I Didn’t Like You When I Met You”

[wclfskinned-deactivated20210408]

nougatships​:

I love characters that have never been loved before experiencing it for the first time. They’re taken aback by softness. They’re confused by warm words and being cared for. They’re almost scared by the loving way they’re looked at. Fleeting tender touches send them reeling. Their heart almost feel like it’s going to burst. What does it mean? All they know is they don’t feel as though they deserve that, even if they reciprocate. It’s been proven time again that they’re unlovable and yet…

Being treated so gently feels so good and they aren’t sure they want it to stop.

[paceyjoeys]

[torpidtm]

scriptisarcanisx​:

His mouth hung agape for a second at her confession that she actually prepared herself for the heavy meal they were about to have. “You know as a medical professional, I can’t recommend what you did, skipping meals. But as your date, I’m thoroughly impressed and immensely proud of you.” He handed her one of the menus that were propped up on the table. “Oh, I’m ready.” He decided with a nod. “I’ll order the first round so you can take a look at the menu. I’m starving and ready to eat,” he confessed. As the waiter checked up on them, Louis was quick to order some of his favorite brisket, boneless short ribs, and pork belly. In his opinion, the classic trio of Korean barbeque. He ordered soju and a couple glasses of water for the table, before he prompted the waiter to get his date whatever drink she wished.

She couldn’t help but giggle at Louis’ face. “What?” Natalya grinned, laughing out loud at the comparisons. “This meal felt like I needed to prepare for it.” She reasoned, happy that he was both proud and impressed. She took the menu and began scanning the options. “Alright, Louis, gimme your best.” The medical student replied when her date said he’d order first. Thinking of Louis as her date made her stomach flutter, in the good way. Her eyes scanned the drink options, and she ordered the cheapest wine they had. “Thank you.” Just one glass, enough to cut off the connection, then she’d switch to water. It seemed like the perfect plan. “What you just ordered looks delicious.” She commented, glancing at he items on the menu. “I’ve never had soju before.”

[torpidtm]

scriptisarcanisx​:

 Cady nodded in agreement, turning to Ariel. “Good point,” she smirked. Humans did have a limited imagination. So much so that a bunch of humans who had abilities beyond comprehension were often called freaks. Just like her. But that was fine. She’d made a career out of being a freak. Keeping the mystery of their abilities was testament to how little the human imagination could grasp. “Yeah, it takes a lot of skill.” She pressed her lips, trying not to look too amused. “The being weird part, though– that’ just me naturally.” The giggle that escaped her lips was interrupted by a yawn. “Sorry,” she muttered. “I’ve had a long day. Definitely a good day. But a long one.”

Cady didn’t look at him strangely, and Ariel immediately felt relieved. Good, he didn’t just reveal himself over something so small. He always was wary trying to have conversations with people. He never knew when he would come across something that he was supposed to know, but didn’t. The elemental tried his best to use context clues in those situations. He chuckled at her joke that being weird took a lot of skill. Ha, yeah, like humans didn’t exist just to outcast their own. He’d been around long enough to see that. He smiled at her laugh being interrupted, though it made him yawn as well. He hated that seeing people yawn made you yawn. What was the point of that, anyway? Like, from a human evolution standpoint?  “Don’t apologize, it’s fine.” He assured Cady, his eyes watching the stars. “I know they’re just made of gas, but I’d totally touch a star if I could.”

[torpidtm]

scriptisarcanisx​:

He was a complete dork. He wasn’t like anyone else she hung out with. He made her wish that her life was better. He made her wish she deserved a happy life. But even with luck on her side, she couldn’t shift entire paradigms in which she could’ve met him when she was a better human being. Maybe in another universe, but not this one. Nonetheless, she savored what she could before it all fell to shit. Even though she was almost always on edge of things just falling apart at any moment. The soft smile on her lips as he reported to her turned into a smirk when she watched him lick his lips. “I have a few ideas,” she purred, pulling him to her once again. She took a hold of his hand and shamelessly pressed his palm on her chest. “I’ll give you a hint. I’d love for you to take care of other needs of mine,” her eyes glinted with mischief.

Rhys was enamored by Trixie. He knew that she had a hard time with the idea that she deserved to be treated well, but he would do what he could to help her believe she deserved to be loved and cared for. He would try, to the best of his ability, to be that person for her. No matter what she thought she deserved. ”Mm.” The telepath hummed, letting himself be pulled towards her. “And what needs might those be?” He asked, moving to press a quick, teasing kiss to her lips. He smirked at Trixie after he pulled away, happy to be messing with her for once.

[torpidtm]

scriptisarcanisx: 

“Of course,” Rolph nodded. “And that’s why I appreciate you for even trusting me with your troubles.” A small but meaningful smile tugged at his lips as he turned to Natalya. She looked a little worse for wear. Maybe he needed to stop pressing the subject if it was a cause for her stress. At least for now. Maybe when she was in a better headspace, they could discuss it. Plus he needed time to digest the information she’d just laid out about demons and their effects on people. And his brain began to wander into territories involving humans and how often their mental health was influenced by the beings that Natalya was able to see and interact with. He shook his head, realizing he must’ve fallen silent again. “Well, feel free to raid my alcohol cabinet for tonight. Just– be safe about it, I guess. What else do you usually do to forget?” That’s what she needed at the moment, he was sure. She needed to process her emotions one way or another. But tonight she seemed to be getting quite overwhelmed. “I mean– something you do for fun. Karaoke, maybe?”

Natalya nodded too. “Yeah,” she said with a sigh. She made eye contact as he looked at her. “Do I really look that bad or is it just that you’re not used to seeing me drink?” A tiny smile appeared on her lips in response to his own. “Sorry, I usually do this at home or I crash a party or something.”  She shrugged. “Nobody really notices me there anyway.” The medical student was more than fine with Rolph going quiet. Honestly, sometimes she would just relish in the silence after a long day. “Thanks, I’ll be safe, promise.” It was obvious he wasn’t completely happy with the arrangement, but Natalya was grateful he was willing to let her do what she needed. The question brought a blush to her cheeks. It made her realize how boring she was. “Ah, not much.” Natalya was either working, or studying, or dealing with ghosts. The last part helped her not have many people to hang out with. “Uh, yeah, I do karaoke sometimes.” She swallowed another gulp of her drink. “I think I’m...Bearable to listen to.”

[labella-instagram]

[thanhpls]

“But I know better. You’re dead, and I’m the worst kind of alive.”

— Adam Silvera, History Is All You Left Me (via incandescentghost)

[primulaceas]

Carmen Maria Machado, In the Dream House

[torpidtm]

 scriptisarcanisx:

She couldn’t stand this. She couldn’t stand his kindness. She didn’t deserve it. But she knew the more she pushed him away, the more she denied what he was trying to convince her, the more he would stubbornly try to convince her. There was nothing Rhys could do to convince her that she was worth it. But he didn’t have to know that. She believed that he believed it. He believed it for now. But sooner or later, he will see the truth. “Okay,” she whispered, keeping him close to her for a moment longer. “Rhys, I’m hungry,” she broke the silence between them, hoping to change the mood. It wasn’t a lie. She hadn’t eaten all day. She knew he’d want to take care of her. She wasn’t capable of letting him take care of her emotional needs, that part scared her to death. So maybe if she offered somewhere else he could help, she could distract him from the tension.

It was frustrating to Rhys that Trixie couldn’t see herself the way he saw her, but he was patient. He knew it would take time to convince her that she deserved this and more. He was okay with that. The telepath held her silently until she spoke, his laugh ringing loud in the apartment. “Okay.” He giggled, pulling away so he could order the pizza. Half pepperoni and jalapenos, half bacon. “Right.” He said when he hung up. “Pizza should be here soon.” It came out of his mouth like a status report, and thus he added a mock salute. “Operation: Go Halfsies is a go.” He grinned at her, his eyes traveling up and down her body. Clearly, he had no shame. “What should we do while we wait?” He asked, licking his lips.

[torpidtm]

 scriptisarcanisx:

“Ahh– for everyone else’s safety, I think that’s what we should do,” he agreed with a playful nod. “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of you,” he winked. Louis held his right hand behind him, denying himself the urge to grab her hand and take her in. He wasn’t sure if that was something she’d want to do. He would rather take things slow to figure out what she liked, what she wanted, instead of jumping the gun and taking the lead at the risk of making her feel uncomfortable. But he was sure to hold the restaurant door open for her, too. “It’s my pleasure,” he smiled when she thanked him. Louis approached the host, letting them know that they had a table reserved for two. Soon they were settled down in a booth with a grill installed on the surface of the marble table. “The place is pretty packed,” he commented. “As expected. It is all-you-can-eat meat. I hope you’re hungry.”

Natalya laughed at Louis’ conclusion, the wink coating her face with a fresh blush. She stamped down the nagging worry that a ghost will ruin her date. If one showed up, she would have to just ignore them no matter what they did. She just had to hope nothing would happen. She liked Louis, she would not let the ghosts ruin this. Even him smiling at her made her blush. It was as if she was the only person that existed. Natalya followed him as they got settled at the table, examining the grill. “Mhm. I purposely stuck to snacks today.” She grinned. “You better be ready to impress, Choi.”

[torpidtm]

scriptisarcanisx:

“It worries me more when I have to figure out how much your hurting,” he explained, hoping it would convince her. “And how you’re hurting. It helps me figure out a way to help you. Rather than worry what’s on your mind, I’m finding ways to ease your mind.” He offered a small smile to his student, hoping she’d understand where he was coming from. More often than not when he attempted to help an obviously troubled student, he was accused of many things. They rarely ever realized that he meant well. Try as he may, he didn’t know how to put himself in Nat’s shoes. He was still wrapping his head around it. “That shall be what I’ll do then. Find you some things to distract yourself that doesn’t deal with death, or ghosts, or any of the likes.” He knew he was in for a near impossible task. But there had to be something somewhere, right? “Are the demons the ones that hurt you?” He asked before he could help himself. “You don’t– you don’t have to answer that, by the way.”

Natalya listened to his explanation. “That’s a bit hard to articulate, sometimes.” She admitted, taking another gulp of the water. Even though she knew Rolph had good intentions, she couldn’t completely get rid of the nagging feeling that he could easily send her away if the truth was too much. That scared the hell out of her. “Oh, uh, thank you.” This was so all strange and foreign to her. Even when people found out for one reason or another, she’d never talked about it with someone like this. The female bit her lip at the question. She decided she’d answer, after she drank more wine. The less sober she is, the easier this’ll be. “Yes, they can...They can hurt me, if they’re strong enough, or if there’s several of them.” Another gulp. “It’s sort of...Well, they claw their way inside my head.” She took a breath. “Then, they force all the negativity to the surface. My worst memories, my darkest thoughts, all the worst feelings I’ve ever felt. It’s as if I’m living it for the first time again, all of it, simultaneously. I knew that would happen with the Ouija board.” Her laugh was humorless. “That’s why I was so pissed off. Either I went and did that or they would bother me more, and then eventually start going after the rest of you. I couldn’t let that happen.”