Absolutely Correct Star of Providence Quotes

A collecton of absolutely correct quotes from the indie game Monolith: After the End and its DLC Relics of the Past. Submissions Welcome!

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Chaosgod: I'm exercising. I-I'm sleeping well.

Warden: You're doing time.

Chaosgod: I'm doing the time... of my life.

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OKAY, D-13 HAS TAKEN OFF, EVERYBODY CAN UNPAUSE THEIR SIMULATORS AGAIN, because the whole world doesn't revolve around HIM anymore!

AB

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Yes, all aircraft, PAUSE YOUR SIMULATORS so this one guy can FIGURE OUT HIS FUCKING NAME!"

AB

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AB: Tower confirm there is a 747 with the callsign 'BURRITO' taxiing on the runway?

Overlord: Oh my god, yeah we just now have sight of the HEAVY BURRITO taxiing across grass areas at a high speed.

D-13: Oh, yep. I got him in sight. That's one big burrito.

Overlord: OK we are going to ignore this aircraft but all aircraft taxiing on the ground please be advised of a large BURRITO shuffling around the airport.

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Anarchist: Remember, Chaosgod. Flatter them. Make them feel good.

Chaosgod: *knocks on the door*

Machine: Hello?

Chaosgod: I love you.

Machine:

Machine: *slams door shut*

Anarchist: I think you laid it on a teensy bit thick there, pal.

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D-13, pointing: May I sit there?

Null: That’s my lap.

D-13: That doesn’t answer my question, Null.

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Database, trying to impress Monolith: I re-initialized the entire command structure, retaining all programmed abilities but deleting the supplementary preference architecture.

Chaosgod: They turned it off and back on again.

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Firewall: Remember when you told us not to burn the Facility down?

Database: You burned the Facility down?!?

Reactor: No. We had the fire put out almost immediately. This is a success story.

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Overlord: A person doesn’t dye their hair that color unless they have psychological problems.

Anarchist: My hair color has nothing to do with my psychological problems.

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Chaosgod: After years of pretending to be cool and chill and down, I'm ready to embrace my identity as the highest maintenance bitch you ever saw in your fucking life.

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Null: You're clearly straight from hell.

Trespasser: I'm clearly bisexual from hell.

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Overlord: Shouldn't you guys have gotten these barrels out of the van before we got in?

Null: They're really heavy, Overlord. We've already had to do it, like, a million times.

Overlord: Where'd you get the money for this gas?

D-13: Overlord, will you shut up and let me continue? Now, AB, when we get back to the bar, you waterboard the shit out of Armsmaster and get a confession.

AB: No problem.

D-13: Now, Null, you take that confession to the police, use your charm and good looks, and get that reward money.

Null: Done and done.

D-13: Okay, Overlord, you continue to be useless. Anarchist and I will use that reward money to pay off our electricity bill. Then we'll probably buy some more gasoline 'cause I feel like that's a great plan.

D-13: Wait...the brakes...the brakes aren't working.

AB: The gas pedal...

D-13: Brakes aren't working. No, I'm saying...no, the brakes.

AB: Wiggle it, it gets better...

D-13: Guys, why aren't the brakes working?!

Anarchist: Because I cut the brakes! Wildcard, bitches! Yeeeeehaaaaw!!! *Anarchist jumps out of the back of the van*

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Chaosgod: The desert. Count how many sand is here, Database. That's your first mission.

Database: OKAY. ONE, TWO, THREE...

Machine: (As Database continues counting in the background) Why the fuck would you make him do that?!

Chaosgod: It passes the time.

Machine: It's going to take so long! Chaosgod... it's going to be so annoying!

Chaosgod: I'm curious what the biggest number is!

Machine: No! He's just gonna be counting forever!

Chaosgod: Perhaps! But... but... *breaks down laughing*

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D-13: I'm gonna take you out and save the world!

Warden: Good luck with that I have weed.

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Ordinator, holding Firewall over his head: BEHOLD, A NEW KILLING MACHINE OF WAR

Rest of the council: Ordinator, this is the 8th killing machine of war this week.

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Overlord: A pessimist sees a dark tunnel.

D-13: An optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel.

Null: A realist sees a freight train.

AB: The train driver sees three idiots standing on the tracks.

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Charlie: What if school burned calories?

Firewall: What if school burned

Charlie:

Firewall: Down