Totally Real Horoscopes Daily

[totallyrealhoroscopesdaily]

((hey all this is completely unrelated to this blog but im starting an ask blog because adhd

if you wanna come send some asks, talk to your new buddy, here’s a link:

https://buddytalkingtime.tumblr.com/ ))

[sepulchritude]

I love seeing people’s picrew art styles because you can just look at them and be like

“You read homestuck and it was a big part of your life for a few years, you’re not into steven universe but you did watch it, and you had an intense black butler phase in middle school and doodled their eyes over and over again in your spiral notebooks”

[sepulchritude]

Art is the biggest snitch ever man like have you ever read a fanfic and been like “Oh the author is working through some trauma here”

Or when people rec songs/shows/fics and you suddenly know everything you need to know about who they are as a person?

Like I know art is inherently an attempt to make others understand what is going on inside our lonely little heads but sometimes the mortifying ordeal of being known just slips in there while you’re not looking

[bbluejoseph]

new ask game: tell me what u think u know about me based on my fics/art/etc

[totallyrealhoroscopesdaily]

((Eh we're already breaking character/rules a lot, why not))

[totallyrealhoroscopesdaily]

((its been a month and ive done nothing here so i thought i’d tell yall that shit happened, shit has happened, im not sharing what because personal, but life decided to kick me in the balls and ive dropped quite a few things for mental health

this hiatus is likely to be,,, pretty long, actually. because, as previously stated, life decided to drop kick me, and now the next months are going to be a bitch. As in, had to drop my job search, struggling to keep up with classes, all because of the thing kinda bitch.

so, like, you might have occasional weeks or something where i sat down and wrote up a queue of a couple days, but theres not going to be anything regular for a good while

anyway, how you all been?))

[totallyrealhoroscopesdaily]

((Just a heads up, if you see an update go up, that may not mean im fully back. I might do some sporadic updates, just because having something to make and work on is one of my depression fighting tactics, but classes and work and job searching are still higher priorities, so they'd probably quickly shove regular updates away again. But yeah, just wanted to say, since i do dislike leaving this quiet for so long, we might have some sporadic things popping up while regular updates might be a while before coming back, idk yet))

[totallyrealhoroscopesdaily]

((hi, this pause went on way too long to go without an explanation, basically i’m slipping a little bit on the depression front, and with classes started again, me looking for a new job, and working my temp job, trying to keep this project up to date was one more thing on a pile of things, and it was the lowest priority, so it got shoved to the wayside so i have the energy to do the higher priority shit, yknow?

that said, when i can get to it again, i’m gonna be actually making the outline for this next arc so it’s easier to get into and i know where im going, so it’ll be great))

[totallyrealhoroscopesdaily]

8/28/2020 Horoscope

Aquarius: After a while, Suzie seems to run out of things to do at her stove. She fiddles and fusses with various things around the pot, before ultimately giving up. Her shoulders are tense as she sighs and turns towards you.

You guess it’s time to talk.

[totallyrealhoroscopesdaily]

((Internet outage, shouldn't be more than a day hopefully))

[totallyrealhoroscopesdaily]

8/24/2020 Horoscope

Aquarius: “What happened to my shirt?” you ask.

Suzie snorts. “Really? That’s the first question you ask?”

You hunch a little bit, clutching the glass of water closer to your chest. To your scar. Suzie isn’t looking at you, she’s looking through the cabinets for something. She doesn’t see how you react and you don’t say anything.

She continues, “I took it off of you after you collapsed, you were overheating in it.” She takes down a can of something and looks at it as she speaks. “I don’t know why you’d wear a sweater on a day when you could fry eggs off the sidewalk,” she says, somewhat quieter. You don’t think it was directed at you.

You respond to it anyway, “It was a-” 

You pause. You were going to say “gift”, but that... isn’t correct? You bought it with your own money. Wevry did help you find it, though, you wouldn’t have bought it without him. He said it looked cute. It had a cat pattern on it, making cat ears over your chest and a little nose on your stomach. It was soft, you liked it. 

Suzie has turned to look at you, frowning, so you say, “It was special.”

She opens her mouth like she’s going to say something, then seems to reconsider. She turns back to her can, fiddling with it as she carefully says, “It’s just in the other room, you can have it back in a bit.”

She fidgets with the can for another moment, then sighs and puts it back. You take another sip of water.

[totallyrealhoroscopesdaily]

8/23/2020 Horoscope

Aquarius: Sometime later finds you sitting on Suzie’s couch, rubbing the ragged scar on your chest. It’s directly on the center of your ribs, long and heavily faded, but still a roughly textured shallow dip in your skin. Looking at it starts making you regain the distance you lost, but you want to run away from it and never have to see it again. You swallow, hard, and look across the room, unable to look at it anymore for reasons you can’t explain.

(Your knuckles keep dragging up and down it, feeling the texture, the shape, absentmindedly.)

Suzie is in her kitchen, making... something. You sniffle, and she glances over her shoulder at you, making eye contact for a brief moment before looking away again. Your insides feel like they’re crawling just under your skin, like you should get up and move. You have a headache from crying. You feel wrong, fragile, a stranger in your own body. You swallow.

There’s a new glass of water in front of you, Suzie gave it to you before she started cooking, after you had drained the other one. You pick it up and it’s cold against your hands, and the water is cold against your teeth and tongue when you drink it.

[totallyrealhoroscopesdaily]

8/22/2020 Horoscope

Aquarius: Warm. The first thing you notice is how warm it is. You’ve gone as stiff and still as a board in your shock, stunned into silence. Suzie has pulled you to lean against her, arms around your shoulders and a hand gently petting the back of your head. Your breathing is ragged and uneven.

“Shh, it’s okay,” She says, and you break.

You don’t even try to hold back as you start sobbing in ugly, loud wails. You suddenly cling to her as tight as you can, burying your head in the space between her shoulder and neck, your whole body shaking like rocks in an avalanche. 

Everything is so much, and you don’t even know how to begin to handle it. You could barely handle it before, and now everything is so much louder, and you can’t ignore it or quiet it, and there’s a thousand thoughts you don’t know how to handle when you could barely handle a few at a time. You don’t even know how to begin untangling the mess in your brain, or the sudden volume of everything, every sensation, and it’s all so much.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, let it all out,” Suzie babbles, hand stroking the back of your head, and it’s so very warm. “There you go, it’s okay.”

You cry.

[totallyrealhoroscopesdaily]

8/21/2020 Horoscope

Aquarius: You stare at Suzie with tear-filled eyes and sip your water, holding the glass with both hands like a child. She’s stopped dead in her tracks making eye contact with you. 

“Well,” she says, slowly, “Glad to see you didn’t decide to die on me after all.” She gives you a small smile, weak and wavering.

You swallow your mouthful of water, and then, embarrassingly enough, hitch out a sob. Suzie’s eyes widen and her smile drops as you start to shake and cry in earnest. You break eye contact to stare down into your water, trying in vain to stop your hands from trembling and spilling it. Your entire body shakes when your next sob is ripped out of you, and you wish you could stop. This isn’t normal, this isn’t being okay, this isn’t okay. 

Suzie takes the glass out of your hands and sets it on the coffee table behind her, and you wrap your arms around yourself, desperately trying to hold yourself together. You hadn’t even noticed her start moving. This isn’t okay, this isn’t okay, it’s normal to be okay and this isn’t okay and this isn’t normal. You squeeze your eyes shut tight, and you can’t stop the high whine that comes out from between your clenched teeth. Your aura is flaring and you can’t get a grip on it, it slips out of your fragile control like so many ribbons of wind. This isn’t okay, and your fingers are digging into your sides-

-and then Suzie is hugging you.

[totallyrealhoroscopesdaily]

8/20/2020 Horoscope

Aquarius: It’s someone’s living room, that’s very obvious. You’ve been laid out on their couch with a- you reach your hand up to double check- wet rag on your forehead. There’s a coffee table in front of you, and an armchair at corners with the couch. Across the room, there’s a half-wall separating a small kitchen from the rest of the room which has short bookshelves running along the length of it, seemingly more filled with trinkets than they are with books. There’s a white dining set in the other corner, sitting under the windows. The final corner of the room is taken up by a set of stairs, heading downwards, and there’s a hallway on the wall opposite the stairs between the sitting around and the kitchen.

There’s little touches of life all around the room. A bright red tablecloth on the dining table, a mess of magazines on the coffee table next to a cup of water, the colorful rug underneath the sitting area. The couch is soft under you, if a bit scratchy, and there’s a blanket thrown over the back of it. There’s picture frames on the walls and a radio on top of one of the bookshelves, and the curtains on the windows are a light lace that does nothing to block light. The walls are painted a pale yellow color and the floors are a light wood. It feels so warm.

None of this helps you identify where you are.

You slowly push yourself to sit upright, looking around you in a daze. The rag slides down off your forehead to land on your chest, and you suddenly realize you are not wearing a shirt. You blink. You could count your ribs if you wanted to. There’s a ragged, faded scar on your chest. You swallow hard, and make a small high pitched whine before you can help yourself. You close your eyes and take a breath, take stock.

You... don’t feel terrible, actually. You’re thirsty, but not to the point of gasping. You’re hungry, but not to the point of your stomach trying to kill the rest of you. You feel a bit more solid overall, still sore but your bones and muscles actually feel attached to each other, like they have a little weight behind them instead of just breakable weakness. You’re slowly developing a headache the longer you’re awake. 

Turning so your legs hang off the front of the couch, you slowly make to grab the glass of water. It’s only slightly cooler than room temperature. You have to hold it in both hands because they were shaking too much. You go to sip it, and then you’re starting to quietly cry and you have no idea why. 

You have no idea where you are, you don’t know where your shirt is, but somehow you feel better than you have since you ate that cake slice even as you feel like death stood you up, and now you’re crying as you slowly, carefully, drink your glass of water.

This is, of course, when Suzie walks in from the hallway.

[totallyrealhoroscopesdaily]

8/19/2020 Horoscope

Aquarius: You groan as you wake up, head falling to the side as you slowly peel your eyes open. You squint at your surroundings, then pause.

You have no idea where you are.

[totallyrealhoroscopesdaily]

8/19-

Oh, oh dear me, that... isn’t quite right.

Hm, embarrassing, that. Let’s try again:

8/18/2020 Horoscope

Aquarius: You dream. 

There’s a cave in the desert, and it’s safe and warm and full of love and teeth and would swallow you whole if you’d just let it and you can’t remember why but you want to let it and you’re terrified of letting it and you’re terrified of looking at it, so you turn your back-

-and you’re in a city made of metal bones and glass flesh and the crowds flow around you like a river and they are all staring and you are being judged and the waters flow and you do not know how to, you are out of sync and out of step and cannot move with them, and you are found wanting, and the crowd drags you further away from your goal because you cannot swim, you were never taught, and you drown-

-and then it’s all oddly still, stars glittering in front of you, dripping of magic webs like dewdrops, and the generator shines next to you, clean as ever, and it’s quiet and chill and still. You’ve fallen through the swirling chaos, and it’s all burnt up. You close your eyes and sink into a dreamless state, finally relaxed.

[totallyrealhoroscopesdaily]

8/18/2020 Horoscope

Aquarius: There’s something cool on your head, but you’re burning up, and you’re barely aware. Something is pressed to your lips, cold liquid being poured in, and you deliriously try to struggle upwards, but a pressure on your forehead stops you. You need more, but you’re choking on this trickle.

The water is taken away and you whine, something high pitched and instinctive. There’s a soft shushing noise and something carding through your hair gently, and then you’re gone once more.

[totallyrealhoroscopesdaily]

8/17/2020 Horoscope

(...I’ll run a diagnostics check after this transcription, I shouldn’t be losing this much time.)

Aquarius: You blearily follow your routine, barely aware of your surroundings as you struggle to keep moving forward. You move robotically, almost like- But no, this heat doesn’t make you move, this heat doesn’t pull you forward or puppet you, this heat roasts you, slows you, makes you long to stop.

You push open the glass door, and then you’re hit with a blissfully cool wave of air from the inside of the gym, but you weren’t- You weren’t headed to the gym. Were you? You followed your routine. You sway in place, your grip on the door barely keeping you upright.

Suzie is behind the desk, mouth hanging open. There’s a man on one of the machines staring at you, frozen in place. There’s heat at your back, and Suzie is slowly standing up, brow furrowed. That isn’t good, did you upset her again?

“Sorry,” you slur as your vision tunnels. 

Your legs give out under you, and you’re out before you hit the ground.

[totallyrealhoroscopesdaily]

((Alright motherfuckers, made it through my last day i work, ive quit the bitch, one less stressor in my fucking life, gonna write the damn queue tonight because my life has no much less anxiety when i have a queue you have no idea))

[totallyrealhoroscopesdaily]

((okay so bear with me here but im gonna delay the queue by a day, so that i can continue writing it tomorrow as well, and then we’ll have a good queue built up, instead of it hovering on the brink for ages. We’re preventing another unplanned pause, hopefully, because summer has not been kind to this being consistent, which is just corona fuckin a lot of shit up, but still. So like, hold on just a day and then we shouldn’t have breaks in this again for a good while, and have a good buffer))