📼

“When you kiss me, does the lipstick on your lip stick on my face? In your dreams, does your lover have my face?”

[tothekill]

!Introduction!

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Maggie - 19 - they/she - lesbian

Using this as a place to put all my thoughts that are too perverted for twitter… (so, obviously, 18+!)

Main interests: The Passenger (2023), Interview with the Vampire (2022), The Long Walk (2025)

Other: David Cronenberg & Clive Barker films, Yellowjackets, Supernatural—generally any and all weird, homo stuff

I occasionally dabble in writing fanfic, so I might end up posting stuff from the backlog, but who knows…

(I’ll probably remake this once I’m more well-versed in the tumblr world lol)

[dumdogs]

i want to interact with people more but what if they kill me

[boo-kei]

lemme just zoom in on this <3

[tothekill]

Yeah I’m normal. Totally and completely normal.

[emo1ka]

it'll never be the cure

the cure / on tiktok

[greelin]

do you know how many times i’ve been sent this

[orpheuslament]

anyway.

[deathbats-art]

screenshot study/redraw from the passenger 2023!!! i let the brain worms control me ratatouille style that's why it came out so good even though i have zero practice doing realism like this :P

(detail crop of randy's sad little face + uncoloured version under the cut :3)

[tothekill]

Sometimes I reread my own (unfinished) fics and I’m like “Wow! This is actually kind of good why didn’t I finish it!” And then I never go back to finish it

[evilwy]

But either way you turn, I'll be there

Open up your skull, I'll be there

[tothekill]

I have this terrible habit where I manage to connect any song I listen to to a ship I like

This Song by Conan Gray could be so Rubambi if you squint. Like really hard.

[lhoraece]

Happy Pride🌈‼️

[operationandre2]

benson who doesn’t like to be touched so he makes randy masturbate while he watches… he likes watching randy get flustered while taking off his clothes, trying to show off for benson but really just being embarrassing. benson loves it. benson’s favorite sight is randy springing free from his boxers while his face turns bright red. sometimes benson will talk him through it, tell him how to touch himself. other times benson simply watches randy fall apart. he laughs when randy finishes fast and makes the younger man lick his own cum off his hands. he keeps the image in his mind for later when he’s alone and can get himself off in peace. randy didn’t understand the relationship at first, but he has learned to love it. he knows how much benson loves to watch him (and loves him in general), so he doesn’t complain.

[insecuregodcomplex]

[tothekill]

It’s been rough trying to get through Jamie Bell’s filmography. I really sat through 4 hours of Lars von Trier’s elitist art house bullshit for 20 minutes of dominant Jamie…

[messymindofmine]

Obviously there has been a lot of discussion about Niall stopping Ruben when he's talking about how he would cum when he father abused him and how those moments were the closest he ever felt to someone. And it's pretty clear that Niall is thinking about Ruben's violence against him and how Ruben is the person he feels the closest to. And how he was never able to acknowledge that to himself let alone anyone else. But what I don't really see being discussed and what I feel is pretty crucial is the fact that Ruben was describing abuse. He was describing abuse from his father and how that was the closest he ever felt to anyone. And Ruben was never able to tell anyone other than Niall about it. And it came after Niall revealed his feelings towards men to Ruben. And Ruben's abuse towards Niall is very pointedly never mentioned by anyone.

Niall himself doesn't even bring it up when pointing out how Ruben referred to him with homophobic insults. He only mentions the words Ruben said. And Ruben wouldn't accept the role he played in Niall's struggles. But then he starts talking about his abuse at his father's hands and Niall is able to handle it at first. He is able to give Ruben comfort and listen. He even calls Ruben his hero. It's not until Ruben starts talking about the closeness he felt that Niall shuts down. And I think entangled with the complicated feelings that Niall has for Ruben (the fear, the love, the desire, the anger) is also the repressed acknowledgement that the things Ruben did to him weren't just brotherly horseplay or banter. It wasn't just sexual either. If the feelings that Ruben was confessing to having were in the context of what both Ruben and Niall recognize as abuse at his father's hands, then Niall would have to acknowledge that what Ruben did to him was also abuse. And what does that say about his feelings towards Ruben even beyond the shame of sexuality? Beyond his repressed feelings towards Ruben in general? So of course it was too much for Niall. And he continued to repress those feelings right up until the very end to the point of his own destruction.

[tothekill]

Saw Carolina Caroline last night. When are the Ranson au fics gonna start rolling in or do I have to start…