(Click Here For Funny tumblr Post) @traitor-jo - Tumblr Blog

i literally love saying "ON IT BOSS!!!!!" whenever someone asks me to do something like i'm some sort of henchman. it doesn't matter if they're my boss or not for real even because in the moment they are, and whatever they requested of me i'm on it

aromanticduck

Free service with ads: Well, if I'm not paying for it they have to foot the bill somehow.

Paid service with no ads: Well, if they're not funding it with ad revenue, they need to charge us something.

Paid service with ads: Well that's bullshit.

"We used to be a paid service without ads, but now we're putting ads in it! If you want the ad-free version you have to pay more for preeeeemium": Fuck you fuck you fuck you

juststarsandthemoon

Free service with no ads: Okay so these guys are stealing my data

galileosballs

Also, please do not listen to how people talk about cover letters on this site. Cover letters are important, and in many industries you can be damn sure they'll be read. And no, they're not 'fanfic about working in your office', or just re-stating the resume contents in a fancier guise. If you treat them like that, then of course they're not doing much for you. That makes you sound like a syncophantic windbag, and it's not doing anything else to help.

I was trained in the dark arts of the cover letter by my mother, who is a hiring manager. And her training has paid off: I've been consistently told my cover letters are excellent. Let me pass on the wisdom.

The job of a cover letter is to give a prospective employer strictly more information than is on the resume. This is where you take the resume contents and put them into context. You look at the job requirements (you are looking at the job requirements before applying, right?) and look at your resume and ask the question (in your head) "why would a person think this candidate would be good for this job?" and your cover letter is the answer to that question. If you don't answer that question, the hiring manager is going to have to do it themselves, and you have way more information to work with than they do.

This is especially important if you're moving from one industry to another, because then the relevant connections aren't obvious. It's also very important if you're overqualified, because then you can use the letter to say "I know it looks like this job would be too entry-level for me, but I'm interested to pursue it for reasons x, y, and z". You can also use this space to explain away something that might otherwise be disqualifying, like job-hopping or a long break in employment. The tone to strike here is always matter-of-fact and constrained to topic - don't go into detail about health stuff or personal tragedy, just tell them what they need to hear: that this period of your resume was affected by [bad thing] but that it's now in the past and you're looking forward to the next chapter. Remember, one of the things they're trying to learn is whether you'd be content in this role, or whether you'd be miserable and leave after 2 months, which would force them to do all the work of hiring again. You're trying to establish that you will fit right in and not cause problems. Knowing what drew you to this job in particular (and don't just say 'money', that's true for everyone) helps with that.

And the other mistake? Everyone writes cover letters that are too long. One page is fine. Two is the absolute maximum, and that's if you have a lot of specific things to say. It's a waste of your time and theirs to pad it out with fluff. Of my two most recent successful cover letters (i.e. jobs for which I was interviewed) one was 390 words and the other was 550. That's the length of this post. How long did it take me to write this post? About 15 minutes to write, 5 to proof and edit. That's how long you should be spending on a cover letter, maximum.

buam

Cover letters are the first thing I look at. Poorly written cover letters are an instant rejection - how can I trust someone to communicate well or take the job seriously if they can’t write a couple paragraphs about their background and why they want the job? Strong cover letters, on the other hand, can earn someone with a so-so resume an interview.

why-animals-do-the-thing

Off topic for this blog but an important skill I think we teach people so little about!

Cover letters are your elevator pitch. Why you, over anyone else with the same qualifications? What things can you advertise yourself with that can’t go on a resume? It’s literally self-advertising. Tell an employer a persuasive narrative about yourself that will make them want to interview you.

For a quick example: this blog led to me getting my first fact-checking gig, which has become my Real JobTM.

My resume shows the blog, that first client (which I still work for, eight years in!), and subsequent professional advancement. It’s not a bad resume these days.

Every cover letter I send tells the story of how I tried to do education on the internet and got so frustrated by incorrect/contradictory/unsourced information that I taught myself how to fact-check to find some dang correct facts. That I’ve dug so deep looking for accurate answers that my work has been published in peer-reviewed journals, cited in law articles and other academic literature, and influenced the trajectory of legislation. And that I still love it! A decade later, it is a joy every single day to dig my teeth into the newest topic and make sure everything is right. This, I say, is what I will do for them.

That’s the story my resume could never convey.

You don’t want to make things up or exaggerate, but everyone has some sort of narrative to build around their history. Even if it’s not conventionally “impressive” it will still give potential employers a sense of who you are, where you’re coming from, and if you’d be a good fit.

why-animals-do-the-thing

#ugh... i can't self-advertise to save my life... tags from @rubytactician

I have a trick for this! It's called ask someone else.

No, really. Someone in your friends / family / favorite colleagues from that last job is going to be your biggest supporter, so make use of that!

Ask them how they'd pitch you to someone else. Insert theoretical scenario of them somehow socially encountering someone hiring for the perfect job for you - what would they say to make that person interested? What about your work history do they think would be compelling? What skills do they think you should promote?

It is really hard to figure out how to market yourself. Especially these days when there's a more performative aspect to job applications than just having the right skills. Make use of the people who love you want to see you do well.

I think this sort of thing used to be easier when written letters of recommendation were more common, honestly, because those were literally someone else advertising you to someone else.

Another thing you can do - which will feel so awkward but is worth it - is to ask friends, colleagues from previous jobs (maybe not your current one), or past/current clients to give you a blurb! If you have a professional website, those are a great thing to use to flesh them out to prove you are a real person with real skills. If not, you can keep them to look at when you need inspiration or can't remember to save your life what you're good at and why someone should hire you.

My best suggestion if you're like uh, no, I cannot write something cogent is... don't. Barf everything vaguely relevant onto a sheet of paper. Do a free-writing exercise with no constraints. Write down all the silly, ridiculous, egotistic shit you'd like to tell an employer about why they should hire you. Get it all out on paper without censoring yourself so you can get any of it on paper - and this this important, do not send it. Read it back, and draw from it to make your actual cover letter. If you're struggling, show it to someone else and ask them what they think is important/interesting/marketable.

Drafting things like cover letters and even your resume with the support of your community will seriously make them so much better. You get eyes on for spellchecking and grammar, but also to help make sure it flows and that you're not using jargon or technical language a hiring manager might not understand. It can be hard to ask and I totally get that. It's something where I think it's worthwhile to sit with the discomfort. Applying for jobs successfully really isn't a skill that's taught these days! So we succeed best when we support each other.

I practice what I preach here. This is hard for me too - I am successful because I lean on community. I don't remember the last time I wrote a cover letter without having someone else preview it, even though I have a solid template I've worked from for years. I literally just asked @kaijutegu to help me cobble together a bio for a client that wanted to include me on their website (aaaaaaaa). I read and give feedback on cover letters for my friends as well, because it's got to be a two way street.

I won't say that writing cover letters isn't hard, because it is, but it is a skill that can be learned. And you don't have to do it alone.

#resume #for later

lizziemcguiregifs

holdoncallfailed

ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to deny location sharing and turn off personalized ads and reject all non-essential cookies and not set up siri and face ID

shiveringsoldier

The person who tweeted “y’all can’t even boycott Chick-fil-A” was right then and continues to be proven right now

lokaror

They used idiot ore to forge u bro

innovadesexual

sob emoji is up there with the period and the comma

bananatwinky

stoatviet-union

sacred-portal

mallowmaenad

the funniest and most tragic moment in steven universe is the scene that implies that Pearl pulls bitches like a professional dog walker but doesn't know how phones work so her place on earth is being a life-changing futch fling for every dyke on the east coast there's probably a gay bar in maryland where they talk about the twiggy bird chick that eats milf pussy like it's the last edible thing on earth and they dont even know about the city full of thousand year old neon lesbian amazons who are pent up 24/7 from The War and leaving room for jesus cause they're always hanging out with their softboy nephew who might be the second coming of christ

jager-mistress-diane

naamahdarling

In a single sentence, no less.

zoctopode

can you imagine being a parent in the pokemon world and your kid comes home with one of those straight up basically human pokemon. i know those motherfuckers can talk.

its morning. i see my childs Throh getting some oj from the fridge. 'morning', i say. he doesnt catch himself in time and says 'morning' back. he freezes and we both stare at each other knowingly. 'throh,' he says, but its too fucking late