Trans*forming Family

I'm the mom of a transgender teenager and two supportive cisgender siblings. Mostly links & news posted here on Tumblr; more personal posts on Wordpress at transformingfamily.net

[transformingfamily]

new blog post: Coming Out Again, Again

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[transformingfamily]

I saw on your main blog that your son had top surgery! Congratulations to him and I hope everything is going well. :)

Thank you! He is healing very quickly, and he is very VERY happy. =)  He went from hating the fact that he is transgender to now feeling proud of all that he has overcome, and that has happened in less than a year. All of this of course means that i am VERY happy too. Thanks for checking in with us!

[transformingfamily]

Five Things: What do you want others to know about transgender people?

This past July i met with a student from a nearby university to discuss my roles as a group…

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[transformingfamily]

#marrythemovement from Southerners on New Ground

[transformingfamily]

Cross-Sex Hormones for Transgender Youth

Reblogged from Gender Blog by Darlene Tando, LCSW:

A topic that comes up often in my work is the question of whether or not to treat transgender youth with cross-sex hormones. (For those of you who don’t know, this would include a Male to Female…

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[transformingfamily]

Affirming While Doubting

This may be surprising news, but it’s true: when the child whom i’d raised as my daughter for…

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[s-t-r-a-p]

Trans* rights are NOT the "new civil rights movement".

The “old” civil rights movement isn’t over

We’ve been fighting since forever, where you’ve been?

Trans* people and the folks covered by the “older” civil rights movements are not mutually exclusive populations. You can be  trans AND Black AND gay! How about that?

[transformingfamily]

I think i may have either used a phrase like this myself, or at least agreed with someone else using it, so i appreciate hearing this. Thank you for the reminder.

[transformingfamily]

on twitter your son said you have haters what does that mean?

He was talking about a group of people who have found my blog, and are criticizing me for supporting his transition. They do not believe in gender identity and persist in misgendering my son and accusing me of child abuse for allowing him to begin testosterone and consulting with a top surgeon. I should add that they are not posting at my blog; i would not allow that. They are posting at their own blog about mine.

[transformingfamily]

Does your son have a tumblr?

No. :(  Well, maybe i should say...not one that i know of or that he wants me to know about. So maybe the answer should be I don't know for sure?I've tried to get him to start a blog or tumblr and he always says he is not interested. When he first accepted for himself that he is a boy he was very unhappy about it and actually hated being trans. I don't think he wanted to do anything that would force him to think about something he was trying to put out of his mind. I think he is getting past that anger now and more comfortable with himself, so maybe he will be open to writing about it and meeting new people soon. I hope. If so, i will let you know!

[neutrois]

Supporting Our Children's Gender Expression: Two Good Reads

[transformingfamily]

Two Three thoughtful pieces this week reflect on supporting our children’s gender expression, and both are worth a read.

[transformingfamily]

I am late! also congrats for your son starting T! I cant wait till i start T when i turn 16 c:

Oh yes, thanks! He gets his second injection tomorrow. I cannot believe the positive effect it has had on his mood! It's so nice to see him generally happy again. :)

[transformingfamily]

congrats to your son for turning 15! I just turned 15 in December of '12 and it was also my second birthday after coming out. I cant tell you how happy it made me to receive birthday cards that said 'son and 'grandson' on them, i bet your son was also overjoyed!

Thank you! It's great to hear you got those cards too, because that must mean your family is very supportive of you. Now that we have known he is a boy for over a year, it all feels so "normal" and comfortable that some days we don't really think about it much. I know that for him it's still constantly on his mind, though...i am hoping that will change once his physical transition is further along and he is more comfortable with his body.Thanks so much for writing!

[transformingfamily]

So I read some posts on your site and. . well I'm crying. I'm a 17 year old transguy, who came out his mother in February. And, she's been trying to be supportive, she really has, but I can feel her reluctance in every breath she takes. I don't want to be a chore for her. But then there's you, and you're so beautifully supportive of your son. I don't think my mother would ever stand up for me the way you do for your son, and that kind of hurts.

I've seen so many different levels of acceptance in the various parent support groups i'm part of, in person and online, and (not to take your mother's side or anything!) really, February was not that long ago! I think it's positive that she is trying to be supportive. It's just harder for some parents than it is for others, and i don't think i am "typical" of most parents with regards to acceptance and support. I know this is difficult for you, and you need to be affirmed. She may just need more patience and understanding. That's probably really hard for you to hear -- you probably think she should be the one to understand you, not the other way around! But she is grieving. Even though you are the same person you have always been, in her mind, she has "lost" a "daughter". It will take her time to understand that it's okay to mourn the relationship, but you are still you, and she has not lost the person who is her child. I think once she gets past her grief, she may be your biggest supporter and best advocate. I hope so. :)Best wishes to you. And congratulations to you on living your truth!

[transgayinfo]

Alrighty everyone,

Some of you may, or may not know Ryan Cassata (see photo below, haha), but he’s an old friend of mine, and he’s in a contest to win a spot to play at Vans Warped Tour this year, which is a really big fricken deal! If he wins, he will be the youngest Trans artist to perform....

[ftmmagazine]

[transformingfamily]

My parents don't believe I'm trans. How did you believe your son? Did it take awhile? Do you have advice for my parents?

To be completely honest, when he first said the words to me "I'm a boy" i was in total shock, but as we talked about what little i knew about being transgender, there were thoughts in my mind that this was not real, he was confused, i didn't need to worry because he would change his mind, etc. I guess it was the "denial" stage of grief already setting in.We started using male pronouns and his new name within a few days, but i still was not sure it was "real". I read a lot, checked out every book in our library system on trans issues and ordered several from Amazon, visited lots of websites, and joined an online support group for parents of transgender youth. It was a couple of weeks before i really accepted that it was legit and that was at the therapist's office, when she was asking him her standard questions to basically determine a gender identity disorder diagnoses. I could tell by the way he answered that this was not a girl sitting next to me, no matter what the kid looked like. He really was my son.I'm not so great with advice because every person and every experience is different, but i would suggest reading as many resources as possible, and connecting with others through support groups either locally or online. I'm not sure how old you are, but if you are a teenager, TYFA (Trans  Youth Family Allies) is a great place to suggest to your parents.Hope this is helpful and i wish you the best!

[alfonsodisparioso-deactivated20]

[loveinallcolors]

Ellen: Do you know the sex of the child?

Tina: We decided we are going to wait. We’re going to find out…never.

Ellen: Ok.

Tina: Not even after it’s born.

Ellen: Not even after it’s born?

Tina: I’m just going to see what it chooses to wear to prom.

Ellen: Give it time to figure it out. Good for you.

All the awards.