Trans Gay Pirate Santa

My name is Blue

[tourfilm]

living under a rock is so fun i love watching a movie that’s been famous for decades and being like wow this is so good.. did you guys know about this

[tourfilm]

living under a rock is so fun i love watching a movie that’s been famous for decades and being like wow this is so good.. did you guys know about this

[dajo42]

using "what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament" to mean "yeah i made an embarrassing reference but you understood it which is also embarrassing" is very funny to me

[computationalcalculator]

my favorite part is that absolutely nobody says this except here. so if you use it in public, it's a dead giveaway that you spent the last ten years on tumblr. but then again, they recognized it, which means they were at the devil's sacrament

[idontgettechnology]

I tested this theory in the wild the other day at work. I was on a call with my department lead and a few other folks and I replied to an email the DL had sent me, thinking that, because he was on this call, he wouldn't notice when I sent it and would not catch me multitasking.

However, he replied to said email within five minutes, asking a question that required an answer. So I answered and was like "Also, I was going to apologize for answering emails during this call, but I see we're both here at the Devil's Sacrament, so I don't think an apology is necessary."

I watched him read that on screen and try not to laugh. And then at the end of the call as everyone started saying goodbye, he goes, "Hey, MJ, I meant to tell you. I like your shoelaces."

And I looked straight into my camera, stone cold serious, and said, "Thanks. I stole them from the president."

And the rest of the team was like, "What...the fuck...?" before he abruptly ended the call for everyone.

So now my DL and I know this about each other. He could be any one of us.

[libraryogre]

At a certain point, the appropriate response to "What were you doing at the devil's sacrament" becomes "stealing shoelaces from the president."

[sensiblereblogifposts]

Reblog if you were stealing shoelaces from the President

[obsidian-snowflake-09]

German tumblr, I have a question to ask you:

"Ich mag deine Schnürsenkel."

Was antworten wir?

"Danke. Ich habe sie dem Bundespräsidenten gestohlen."

"Danke. Ich habe sie dem Bundeskanzler gestohlen."

"Danke. Ich habe sie dem US-amerikanischen Präsidenten gestohlen."

Voting ended onJul 11

[narwhalsarefalling]

i think stratt should have a wife. not for any particular reason other then having her wife divorce her during the events of the book

i just think it would be funny if in the middle of an arguement with her taskforce leaders shes like “i’m sorry, i overreacted. my wife is divorcing me”

and in several order, grace is like

1. wow holy shit she said sorry

2. SHE HAS A WIFE?

3. AND IS GETTING DIVORCED?

*quickly double checks the calendar *

4. DURING PRIDE MONTH????

[transgaypiratesanta]

I am genuinely so confused at something I have found on Tiktok

in case it isn’t clear, the video implies that straight (M/F) omegaverse is boring or dull compared to gay (M/M, I have to assume) but then the creator goes on to say women having dicks is weird?

like… you are reading omegaverse. Genuinely what do you MEAN women having dicks is weird? The entire POINT of omegaverse is to subvert gender norms and ideals.

I am just so lost trying to conceive of why somebody would hold this stance and not recognise how stupid and hypocritical it is?

[katrandomwrites]

Grace finds a phone tucked in a random maintenance hatch a couple years into the Erid trip and starts laughing so hard he's crying because the pictures and videos folder is full of Vat shenanigans.

--

Shapiro drowning in Dubois’ EVA suit. Dubois with Shapiro's suit taped to him and her helmet balanced on top of his head

Grace looking at the camera confused while the core time circle around him like the one girl surrounded by five guys meme

Stratt reclined on a couch looking demure with a coffee mug and using Grace's legs as a lap board for her tablet. Grace is dead asleep, obviously snoring with his mouth wide open and covered in reports. His glasses are on Stratt's head.

Carl walking by the camera with Grace thrown over his shoulder. Grace is visibly pleased and yapping.

Illyukhina walking by the camera with Grace thrown over her shoulder. Grace looks vaguely ill.

Yao passionately doing karaoke with each of the core staff members.

Lamai asleep on a prototype coma bed.

Steve Hatch maternity shoot with the Beatles.

Grace and Dimtri using a centrifuge to make butter.

Grace and Dimitri getting yelled at by Lokken for using a centrifuge to make butter.

Dubois carrying Grace and Shapiro under each arm to the cafeteria. They all are talking like this is a normal occurrence.

Yao hanging upside down from a simulator that glitched with a straight face while Illyukhina is crying laughing on the floor below him.

Compilation video of the world's greatest minds dropping tools, tripping, and running into the glass walls.

Videos of the astronauts defeatedly drifting away from the mock ship in the buoyancy tank after losing their grip. The others are dramatically reaching out for them.

Redell teaching the Russians about New Zealand bombing dives in the training pools.

Shapiro, in formal wear, standing next to a slideshow titled “How I Cloned and Replaced the World Leaders”

Dubois - “My Alien Seduction Tactics"

Grace - “Middle Schooler vs Scientist”

Dimitri - “Using the Incorrect Equipment for Correct Results"

Hatch - “Yoko Ono: First Contact?”

Lamai - “How Not to Use a Coma Robot”

Lokken - “Grace is an Idiot”

Leclerc - “The Ice Age and You”

Stratt - “Things I DO NOT Have Time For”

Carl - “Securing a Home Depot for Idiots”

Yao - “Worst Times to Make a Joke”

Illyukhina - "Benefits of Vodka in Space”

Reddell - “What I Did in 1989”

Illyukhina passed out on top of Dmitri (also passed out) surrounded by a minefield of bottles none of which are for alcohol.

Leclerc looking upset and holding a penguin plushy.

Horrible mishmash of memes from all over the world plus some homemade memes of various quality.

[katrandomwrites]

Here's some more for yall.

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3

The engineering crew using Legos to help visualize various designs for the ship.

Compilation of lab technicians stuffing themselves under desks and piled in corners for 10 minute power naps.

Chinese soldiers standing menacingly in the background. Occasionally, some throw peace signs.

Rubber ducks at every computer station.

Lokken holding a model of the ship and spinning in her chair loudly reciting an equation that is giving her trouble.

Leclerc walking away from the camera, his back is covered in colorful paper fish. (He puts them on the wall of his dorm.)

Grace ugly crying because the bio lab made him a paper mache solar system for his birthday.

Absolutely insane gingerbread ‘house’ competition entries.

A shakey video taken around the edge of a doorway of Dimitri belting some Russian opera while running a late night test ‘alone’ in the lab.

Yao kicking ass at the mahjong table.

Bill Nye watch parties. Everybody looks like zombies except Grace who looks like he just shotgunned a Redbull. Hearing scientists in the labs chant Bill, Bill, Bill under their breath is not unusual.

A notes app document full of the most popular multilingual vocal stims going around.

Carl pulling a blanket over Stratt and Grace after they fell asleep against each other on a plane.

The core team half asleep after a late check in meeting with The Governments™ Stratt has her head on the table, Grace tries to eat a donut but misses his mouth, Lokken and Lamai are looking into their coffee mugs like they hold all the answers, Dimitri is fully asleep and snoring, Redell is not far behind, Hatch is petting his Beatle prototype like a cat. Even Carl looks like he's asleep standing up.

Rave night with homemade glowsticks.

Stratt and Grace sitting on swings after a meeting in Switzerland edited to look like an album cover.

--

Glad you guys are enjoying this as much as I am because I have more in my google doc.

[3artho]

He’s leaky and old, like pick a struggle (part 1)

[the-thirteenth-prime]

I see half the fandom characterizing Adrian as patient and selfless, and I see the other half characterizing them as bitter and unaccommodating, and I also see the joking and non joking 'what if Rocky were the trolley operator' fics and ideas, and I've come to the conclusion that you all are missing the beauty of the superior third option that is Adrian also being traumatized and feral over their mate.

Thank about it. Rocky's a spitfire and bounces off the walls at baseline and they looked at that little autistic, bossy ball of energy and went 'yes. that's them. the creature I want to spend the next 500+ years with'. They have to at LEAST match their energy somewhat. And if you think you wouldn't be a fucking ball of PTSD and bitterness at your culture and society after fifty plus years of not knowing they were alive or dead, you're fucking operating on moon logic. Honestly, Adrian and the other families were probably begging for a rescue mission that never happened for various political and logical reasons; and while it probably would have ended in mass fatalities as well, so thank goodness that figurative and literal ship never got off the ground, the fact that it didn't happen probably burns more than a little, reasonable or unreasonable.

So one day Adrian gets some Eridian diplomat on their doorstep, and they're expecting the formal condolences at long last, but instead they go into this whole spiel of ' so. So! Turns out twenty two of the original crew died, but your mate survived! When did they die? Oh, early on, so your mate was submerged in crippling and literal deafening loneliness for over four decades; and now he's back and acting weird, and he's become codependent with this weird fragile squishy human being that's the only reason he came back at all, and he's refusing to send down the cure unless we make the blob an aquarium. Could you come to the space elevator and tell him to stop being so unreasonable?' If that were MY mate? I'd fucking lose it.

Just throwing things at this poor messenger and shrieking like " Oh! Oh!! So it's somehow Rocky's fault that you're refusing to take a few months out of the several hundred Eridian years we have left to ship the cure we already have to Threeworld before things actually become problematic to make sure one of the two saviors of our entire species doesn't die?! To give the sole survivor of the mission--my mate, who's been alone and in silence, with no one to watch him sleep, for hundreds of years--some sort of solace and peace?! And you're wondering why he's acting erratically?! Maybe you wouldn't be in this position at all if you'd sent the rescue mission for which we've pleaded for years at every single thrum! I don't care if this Grace thing is a literal giant space amoeba; get the fuck out of my house and tell the powers that be to give it literally everything it wants and needs!" And they're all 'be reasonable' and Adrian's like " I've been reasonable for hundreds of Eridian years, and you would not be in this situation if you'd actually sent a rescue mission and not simply wrung your claws and hoped for the best, so fucking live in the nest you made. All I'm going to do if you get me on the radio with Rocky right now is tell him he's doing amazing and give him advice on how to properly parboil the Taumoeba so that you can't even recover even the slightest scrap of DNA if you don't give the flesh blob that saved his life and saved OUR lives PLURAL goddamn vitamins." Like, they think it's bad that Rocky basically stands over Grace's sleeping body and hisses? Wait until they get the MUCH LARGER ERIDIAN doing that for Grace and Rocky. Wait until the much large Eridian leads the families of the dead twenty-two crewmates to the space elevator to riot because this sure sounds like a coverup to them!! This sure sounds like the deflection of blame on the sole survivor!! This sure sounds like the same paralysis that left them to die alone in space because you didn't want to admit failure!! Yes, I know, I'm weaving some sort of political intrigue plot that probably doesn't exist in canon. All I'm saying is that you all are missing the delicious implications of a mission that went radio silent for fifty plus earth years with no word from the government and no obvious attempt at rescue, followed by your partner coming home with the only being that's been around to watch him sleep since the rest of the crew died forty-some years ago, and people are calling him weird and changed. You'd be horrified. You'd be sick.

You'd be pissed the fuck off at every body of power that let this happen.

[transgaypiratesanta]

I know I haven’t posted literally anything in ages, but I had an idea, and this is the only place I can share it

What if Ryland was too late to save Rocky after the Taumoeba escaped. What if he arrived, and Rocky had already died of radiation. And what if Grace, having gone this far, decides he can’t let the Eridians all die, and sets a course for Erid.

What if once he arrives, he has no way to speak to the Eridians. they don’t know English, and he can’t speak Eridian, but what he does have is hundreds and hundreds of recordings of Rocky speaking. So he plays the recordings to the Eridians, in some attempt to communicate.

and all of these terrified Eridians have to listen to a leaky, horrifying alien puppeting the stilted voice of one of their saviours.

He tells them that he’s a friend of the Eridian whose voice he is using, and that he means well, and he only wants to save them all. And yet he tells them that their saviours are all dead in space, of a disease he claims to know and understand, but no other Eridian has ever heard of. they don’t know why he would do it, but it is impossible not to suspect that this grotesque, horrifying alien had a part in these deaths, and that his reasons for using their saviours voice is just as horrifying as it sounds.

(And yet, when he tells them his name, the recorded voice of their saviour is suffused with affection)

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

I see your “Rocky swears like a sailor but only in pitches humans can’t hear/refuses to teach Grace what those words mean” and raise you “Rocky swears like a sailor and now has to explain to Grace that ‘bad bad bad’ isn’t actually a sequence you play on your Eridian speech piano in polite company.”

Grace is both horrified and amused to realise that a more accurate translation for what Rocky’s been saying is “shit shit shit”.

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

Eridian government representative: Greetings Rocky, Saviour of Erid, and Grace, Saviour from Beyond the Stars. We are pleased to welcome you home.

Grace, haltingly on the keyboard Rocky built for him: Wassup bitches. Fucking jazzed to—

Rocky: GRACE STOP TALKING NOW NOW NOW I EXPLAIN LATER

[pris-cas]

“Lesson #2 endurance: persistent Hunting”

I headcanon that Eridians, tho fast sprinters, haven’t evolved to be long distance runners because of their cardiovascular system. So seeing a human run easily for more than a couple of minutes freaks them out.

Also Huge Thanks for all the love on my last post!! I’ll definitely be making this into a series!!

Lesson #1 Next Lesson

[redstonedust]

random niche hill ill die on is that i think all languages should be called whatever they call themselves in that language. if it's español en español it should be español in english. what the hell is a spanish anyways.

[redstonedust]

random niche hill ill die on is that i think all languages should be called whatever they call themselves in that language. if it's español en español it should be español in english. what the hell is a spanish anyways.

[notquiteaghost]

project hail mary time travel fic but it's stratt. and she has to do it again.

[notquiteaghost]

the thing here is of course that it worked. it worked, so she has to do it again. she has to send him again. she's not even going to save dubois and shapiro, she's not going to save yao and ilyukhina, she's not changing anything, it worked.

except maybe she adds some supplies, to the ship. increases the amount of food, includes some organic compounds. more painkillers. and maybe she spends more time in proximity to grace. not working with him, not talking to him, just doing what she'd be doing anyway, what she's already done, with him in her line of sight

and he notices, because that's his job. was his job. that was the point of him, to know her well enough to notice something has changed. and he doesn't say anything, isn't going to say anything, and in fact maybe nothing gets said. neither of them say anything and the lab explodes and she sends him to die and she waits and waits and waits and the beetles come back and he doesn't. and then she wakes up again on an aircraft carrier off the coast of china

[notquiteaghost]

and it WORKED. and she's here AGAIN, because maybe this is just what happens to you when you are the final signature on a mass extinction event. maybe this is her penance. maybe the world continues on without her, warmer and brighter, but she has to stay here in the worst of it and hold it all together.

she did better. she tried. she knew more. once she'd killed him, once he was out her reach, she could change more. maybe less people died. maybe different people died.

she looks at him as long as she's able and she packs him more vitamins and she doesn't say anything and the lab explodes and she waits and the crops fail and she waits and the wars start and she waits and the beetles come back and she wakes up again on an aircraft carrier and she rolls over to press her face into the mattress and she screams

[notquiteaghost]

the fifth time, she promotes him. six months from launch, that's when she wakes up, and she gets out of bed and gets presentable and walks to his door and says You're the primary science officer now. and he says What? No. No, it can't be me. and she says It has to be you. and she's not trying to do anything with her face, with her voice, but something must happen anyway because he looks at her and says You're sure? You're really sure? and she says It should have been you from the start. and he says Okay, let me– Gosh, okay, I have been awake five minutes and all I've eaten since yesterday is candy, but sure, yeah, I'll go on the suicide mission. Are you– We're getting breakfast, c'mon.

she packs him vitamins. she looks at him. he gets mildly obsessed with a different c-drama every time, somehow. maybe that's the linchpin, maybe he just has to make it through them all. she fills a harddrive with them. she tells him she's never been more sure of anything than she is of him. she waits and she waits and she waits. the beetles come back. he doesn't. she wakes up on an aircraft carrier.

[notquiteaghost]

she stops the lab explosion. she keeps him out of prison by the skin of her teeth. the beetles don't come back.

she lets the lab explode. she lets him hate her for killing him. she's going to be older than his alien, soon. she's on the aircraft carrier, watching him breathe, for six months. and then she's waiting, and waiting, and waiting, for twenty seven years. twenty seven years is too long for any neat little montages of her catching things before they fall. the weather isn't even the same. it depends who wins the war for the sahara. she's sisyphus, she's prometheus, she's atlas. she kills her only warmth and it gets colder and colder and colder until she wakes up again and there he is. maybe it's a gift. six whole months of him breathing

[notquiteaghost]

she wakes up on the aircraft carrier and she lets herself lay there because he comes looking for her after half an hour and she sees his face and she says Oh, it's good to see you. and he narrows his eyes and leans forward to press the back of his hand to her forehead, and he's never done that before. he grabs her arm, he taps her shoulder, their fingers brush when he hands her something. that's it. that's all. it's like an electric shock, his hand on her forehead. his worry. she's going to kill him and he's worried she's running a fever. she doesn't deserve six months

he says, What? she says I'm fine. he says You can't wave a get-out-of-jail-free card at a contagion. You should go back to bed. she says No, I should get to my meeting. he says Oh I already told them you're not coming. C'mon, sleep another two hours. I'll find you some soup.

and she says I keep killing you and you never make it any easier. Why do I keep getting you back? and he says Why am I here at all? and he doesn't remember, he's just far too willing to follow her anywhere, and she doesn't want to lose him. she has to. she says It has to be you. and he says If you're sure.

[notquiteaghost]

this is now on AO3

[wolfythewitch]

Dog years

[nikoriis]

there's always Something going on

[tinyyellowflowers-blog]

Went to the grocery store with my kindergartener. We weighed some bananas: 2 pounds even. We weighed a watermelon: 4 pounds even. We weighed some mangos: a little over 1 pound. We weighed the watermelon AND the bananas: 6 pounds even.

“That’s funny” said the child “because 2+4=6 and two pounds and four pounds is six pounds. It’s like the same as math!”

“What happens if you add 6+1?”

“SEVEN”

“What if we put one pound of mangos on the scale?” <mangos added>

“IT’S THE SAME!!”

“OK, what’s 7-4?”

“Three?”

“What if we take the four pound watermelon off the scale?” <watermelon removed>

“Mama! Are you telling me math works In Real Life? Think of all the things you could measure!!”