TransJoy

[transjoyblog]

How to Know Your Sources of Trans Information

Photo by Jez Timms on Unsplash

Finding reliable information on the transgender experience is tough these days. There is so much anti-trans fear mongering and manipulation of science going on online.

I ran up against this issue pretty recently when I was trying to source some informative books on the trans experience, more for my own edification than anything else.

I'm the first to admit that beyond my own personal experience I do not have a lot of experience with trans people. I have one trans friend, which I have come to find is an incredibly rare thing, even among other trans people.

We tend to be pretty isolated, especially if you are like myself and not entirely out to everyone in your life. This leads to some problems when you want to try understanding your own experiences within a larger context. You know this community is out there, but a lot of the time this community just doesn't have an active presence in your life.

Isolation also makes coming out a lot scarier, and more difficult. A few other supportive trans people can literally save your life if everyone else in your life rejects you, but a community of people like yourself also helps with the little questions that are specific to a transgender experience. Like, what do I say when my family starts asking weird questions? Is it ok to not want to come out to toxic family members? When is it appropriate to pack? Cis people may mean well, but ultimately if they are truly cis, they will not understand what it is to move through the world as a trans person. They just won't.

As a person who would like to better communicate my experience to the people who care about me I wanted a one stop resource to point people to if they are interested in learning more about trans people. So let's start with some generally reliable sources of information on the basics of what transness is, how people come to understand that they are trans, and how varied this experience truly is.

Blog/Journal Articles:

them.us - I recently found this blog to be a great resource for news and informative cultural articles

out.com - Founded in 1992, this magazine has the highest circulation of any LGBTQ+ publication in the United States. This is a great way to get news, entertainment, and culture geared toward LGBTQ+ people.

Gender Reveal - Podcast hosted by the incomparable Tuck Woodstock. Currently on hiatus, so this is the perfect time to binge all 6 seasons of this great podcast that uses interviews to explore what exactly gender is.

TransLash Podcast - Hosted by Emmy and Peabody award-winning journalist Imara Jones, this podcast tells trans stories to save trans lives. They promote trans owned businesses and have a great Instagram page which I think everyone should follow.

Youtube Channels:

CopsHateMoe - Newer channel from a great non-binary creator. Super informed take on the goings on in the greater trans community online.

Jammidodger - Long time YouTuber that produces funny, wholesome, and informative content.

Ty Turner - Very funny, and interesting content from a transman living in conservative America.

Kat Blaque - Offers very salient points on everything from sex and body positivity to pop culture.

NoahFinnce - Good for the younger audience, really helpful content from a personal perspective.

ContraPoints - Great long form content. Very informed perspective on issues ranging from politics to bigotry.

There are, of course, more YouTubers out there and tons of great content, but I am only offering a jumping off point.

Here are some specific recommendations on where to find reliable medical information on the trans experience.

Scientific American (in general, a great source of information) - https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/voices/stop-using-phony-science-to-justify-transphobia/

Science Daily (also a great resource for the latest in research news) - https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2020/02/200205084203.htm

Mayo Clinic Articles on HRT and Puberty Blockers -

Feminizing hormone therapy - https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/feminizing-hormone-therapy/about/pac-20385096

Masculinizing hormone therapy - https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/masculinizing-hormone-therapy/about/pac-20385099

Pubertal blockers - https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/masculinizing-hormone-therapy/about/pac-20385099

Gender dysphoria - https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/gender-dysphoria/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20475262

Books:

Transgender History by Susan Stryker

Any of the books listed here: https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/center-transgender-health/patient-resources/books.html

General Tips on Sourcing Reliable Information Online:

1. Find the citations. Independently verify if possible. - If you're reading, or watching something that is making statistical or scientific claims there should be a section below the article or video that contains the source of these statistics. If this is not present, the article or video is not a reliable source, as reliable sources are able to be independently verified!

2. Is this information up to date? - This has been important in understanding the trans experience as a whole. While there is not nearly enough research on trans and gender non-conforming individuals, what has been published just this past year [2020] has contributed greatly to building a base of scientific representation of the trans community. A lot of people like to claim there is no scientific basis for the trans experience, when in fact the scientific understanding of gender as a binary has been under scrutiny for years and the most recent research does, in fact, support the biological existence of trans people. (Theisen et al.)

3. Determine purpose and reliability of information. - Some questions to assess the purpose and reliability of an article:

- For whom has this article been created? Scholars, scientists, or for the general public?

- What institution (company, government, university, etc.) supports this information? A news organization is NOT itself, alone, a reliable institution. All news articles should have reliable and properly cited source materials.

- If it is an institution, have you heard of it before? Can you find more information about it?

- Is there a non-Web equivalent of this material that would provide a way of verifying its legitimacy i.e. a regularly published medical journal?

TL;DR:

Skim through the points in this tutorial from Georgetown University on evaluating Internet sources. https://www.library.georgetown.edu/tutorials/research-guides/evaluating-internet-content

I feel I should include a good mental health and suicide hotline from the Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386. They have a lot of experience with LGBTQ+ experiences and have proven helpful to me personally in the past. The trans experience does not preclude suicidality, but they do often go hand in hand, especially in people under 25, for whom this hotline was specifically made.

This is something I feel that people who love trans people don't understand. So, if you are a parent, partner, or friend of a trans person consider how the news of another murdered trans person affects the person you love.

Every few days there are reports of another murdered trans person and it does affect us. It's a constant reminder that the world as a whole is not for us, because no matter how supportive the people in our lives are, there are plenty of people who would like us dead. Consider using the above hotline, or consulting with your local PFLAG organization, if you are unsure how to approach these types of conversations.

Ultimately, I hope this article can function as a jumping off point for deeper research into being transgender and understanding LGBTQ+ peoples lived experiences a little better. Let me know what else I should include in the comments below!

Citations

Medical College of Georgia at Augusta University. "Gene variants provide insight into brain, body incongruence in transgender." ScienceDaily. ScienceDaily, 5 February 2020. <www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2020/02/200205084203.htm>.

Journal reference for above article:

J. Graham Theisen, Viji Sundaram, Mary S. Filchak, Lynn P. Chorich, Megan E. Sullivan, James Knight, Hyung-Goo Kim, Lawrence C. Layman. The Use of Whole Exome Sequencing in a Cohort of Transgender Individuals to Identify Rare Genetic Variants. Scientific Reports, 2019; 9 (1) DOI: 10.1038/s41598-019-53500-y

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[transjoyblog]

How to Prepare Your Finances for a Long Life

Photo by Chino Rocha on Unsplash

My parents have never planned for old age. In fact, they both plan on working well into their 70s, if they live that long. My mother has made jokes about working at 75 for my entire life. This does not have to be you. There is plenty you can do to make sure that you have options in the later part of your life.

If you are a strictly numbers person, I encourage you to look into the 4% rule. Which is a simple heuristic that I first encountered on the Mr. Money Mustache blog, designed to give you a starting place when planning for financial independence.

The 4% rule states that you should plan to spend no more than 4% of your total net worth per year of your life. The 4% comes from assuming that your investments will net you a relatively low (read: safe to assume) rate of return of 7% before inflation (which is usually at a rate of about 3% per year). You are left with a 4% rate of return after inflation.

This means that, if you are able to follow this rule, you could feasibly live off of only the returns from your investments without touching your original investment at all for the rest of your life. Trying your best to adhere to this rule will allow you to account for possibilities that are completely unexpected, such as a catastrophic illness that requires you to enter into assisted living or a long hospitalization. This is not a guarantee, of course, but having a large nest egg that continues to make you money even after events such as the above can mitigate the devastating effects of medical expenses in this country.

It is this issue of medical expenses that leads me to my next recommendation. If you are privileged enough to have access to your biological families' medical history, I encourage you to document as much of it as possible. In the interest of brevity, you would do best to focus on your direct ancestral line. Your grandpa's great-aunt dying of cancer is probably not relevant to you. However, the fact that your grandmother received a diagnosis of rheumatoid arthritis at 43 years old and lived with this disorder until the age of 80, is incredibly relevant and something that could end up costing you a good deal of money in your older age.

Another great way to plan for older age is to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Avoiding these outrageous medical expenses has been the main impetus for my own journey into improving my health, and I would encourage anyone seeking to plan for their old age to design their lifestyle around physical health. You only get one body, and it is really expensive to maintain, let alone fix. I realize that not many people have the time, money, and space to work on their physical health. However, I would posit that your physical health is so important to your financial health that you should do anything you possibly can to maintain this health.

Maintaining your physical health can be a priority, even if you make next to no money. You can budget for toothpaste, hand soap, and body wash, and use all of these items to prevent the common cold, and a few other common illnesses. Also, many towns in the U.S. offer free or low cost seasonal flu shots, which I would definitely encourage everyone get. The cold, and flu can be expensive, causing you to miss work, and necessitating the purchase of expensive cough medicine, at least, and an emergency room visit, at worst.

My final point is kind of counterintuitive to the whole article. Keep making money as long as you want, even after retirement. Historically, people in many professions have practiced well into their older age i.e. academics, politicians, doctors, pharmacists, lawyers, writers, performers, artists, business owners/executives to name only a few.

However, with the advent of the internet, there are many ways that the average American can continue to make money in their older years including maintaining rental properties (hire a reputable property manager or management company), investments (as mentioned above), or if it's your thing, affiliate marketing. If you have a real estate, notary, CPA, law, or other professional license, you could occasionally take on work. My grandfather was a mechanic for most of his life and continued to take on jobs into his 80s. A friend's father was a mechanic and did some roofing work on the weekends, but after retirement he took on more roofing clients to, as he put it, "keep himself in shape'. All of this boils down to the concept of working in ways that you enjoy. The point of retirement is not to really retire, but to free yourself to find something that you enjoy, and if you can monetize it, great! That's a bonus.

Citations:

https://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2012/05/29/how-much-do-i-need-for-retirement/

[transjoyblog]

LGBT+ Figures in History: #3 Ernestine Eckstein

“I think if we meet on the common ground of our unjust position in society, then we can go from there. This is a new frame of reference, a new way of thinking almost, for some".

Born Ernestine Delois Eppenger in 1941, Ernestine Eckstein would become one of the most important activists in both the Civil Rights movement of the 1960s and the nascent LGBTQ+ movement of the 70s.

Her civil rights activism began during her time as a student at Indiana State University, as an officer of a chapter of the NAACP. But her progressive ideas eventually brought her to the more progressively minded Congress on Racial Equality (CORE), which she joined upon moving to New York City in 1963 at the age of 22.

Shortly after this move to New York City, she also became involved in the Daughters of Bilitis, the first known lesbian civil rights group in the United States. When she was appointed as Vice President of the New York chapter of the DOB, she came to represent the desire of the younger generation of lesbian and gay activists to see the movement's strategy move away from private negotiations with doctors and psychologists (in an effort to end the practice of trying to "cure" homosexuality), towards a tactic of more direct action, such as political lobbying and public demonstration. In this attitude, she was on the forefront of strategic thinking around civil rights, and she is quoted as having said that, “Picketing I regard as almost a conservative act now. The homosexual has to call attention to the fact that he’s been unjustly acted upon. This is what the Negro did".

Eventually, Ernestine moved to the west coast and joined the progressive activist group Black Women Organized for Action (BWOA). This group was one of the first Black feminist groups in the country. The organization was known for it's conscious inclusivity of all Black women and it's unique lack of a hierarchical internal structure. Unfortunately, this organization dissolved after members decided that Reagan-era conservative sentiments rendered their 1960s style political strategies ineffective.

Not much is known about Ernestine's life post-BWOA but she is recorded in the Social Security Death Index as having passed away on July 15, 1992.

[transjoyblog]

5 Easily Avoidable Credit Pitfalls

Most people are aware of the big things that can affect your credit. Running up large amounts of debt, a spotty payment record for your credit cards, or a foreclosure. But there are a lot more things that can affect your score, not all of which are completely avoidable. However, I have observed a few common ways that people shoot themselves in the foot, credit wise, and may not even know it.

1. Chronically late bill payments including phone, and utilities- If you carry large amounts of debt, it can usually be put on your credit reports, regardless of to whom you owe the money. This includes your phone bill (if you have a contract), your internet, and your other utilities such as gas, water, and electricity.

2. Payday loans- Avoid these like the literal plague, because they will destroy you. I have found that it is pretty common for people with ok credit to take out payday loans to "help" their family members who may have run up all their credit, or may not have the score to get the loan themselves. Why people do this, I will never know. But I will say that you are helping no one by doing this. If you can't afford to help your family without taking out a loan, how do you plan to pay back the loan?

3. Allowing charge-offs on any account- "Charge-offs" aka write offs, or allowances for bad debt, occur when you stop paying on any kind of credit account and the debt is written off as "uncollectable". This is extremely detrimental to your credit score. Credit reporting agencies and creditors basically never remove charge offs from your report without settlement. You can contact the owner of the debt (because it is probably not the same company that you originally owed the money), and offer to pay off the debt in full or see if they will set up a settlement plan for you. Once this happens, it is up to you to ensure that it is reflected on all three of your credit reports.

4. Signing up for a store credit card- Just, why? I can maybe understand someone trying to "credit hack" the rewards credit card of a retailer that they frequent. However, I fully advocate for spending less. I think pretty much anyone who is living on more than 3x the national poverty level could afford to spend less, save the extra, and invest the difference so the money compounds. This will more than likely net you more money than any type of "credit card hacking" will.

5. Not checking your full credit report every year (at least)- This is one of the most commonly overlooked credit tips I have heard. Most people are unaware that they can request a copy of their full credit report from each of the 3 credit reporting agencies every year. This is to allow you more knowledge of what is impacting your score. Unfortunately, errors on credit reports are incredibly common, especially for those with more common names. Some people have found that entire mortgages are affecting their score, of which they have no knowledge because they are actually owed by people with a similar name i.e. Juan G. Garcia/Juan L. Garcia. This is also very common with people who share a name with a parent. Finally, if you have a longer credit history and have never seen your full reports, or you will be shopping for a house in the next few years, start checking them every six months. Although, you may be required to pay a small fee for the second report, it could be worth it for either of the cases above because it gives you the ability to make sure that any changes that need to be made are, in fact, being made. Experian, however, has now digitized their reporting. So, if you make an Experian account, you have access to your Experian report online at any time.

Hopefully you can avoid some of these pitfalls, but fear not if you have already fallen into any of these. Most of these, with the exception of the charge offs, can be remedied by doing your best to live below your means. Of course, everyone has their own situation, which is why I always recommend doing your own research and consulting a professional whenever possible.

If you enjoy this type of content, let me know down below, and make sure you scroll through the rest of our articles here at J.D. Whirley Financial!

[transjoyblog]

LGBTQ+ Figures in History Pt. 2: Thomas(ine) Hall

Thomas(ine) Hall has a fascinating story. A lot of historical accounts still require more strict verification, however, it is generally accepted that Thomas(ine) was born Thomasine Hall sometime around 1603 in Newcastle upon Thyne, England. According to their own account, though they were born intersex, Thomasine was raised as a girl and trained in traditional women's crafts such as lace making, and needlework.

The first recorded instance of Thomas(ine) adopting traditionally male dress, name, and pronouns was when they cut their hair, and "changed into the fashion of a man" in order to join a brother in the military. Upon returning to England from the service, Thomas(ine) again resumed the lifestyle of a woman.

In or around the year 1627, Hall took an opportunity to resettle in Jamestown, Virginia, dressed as a male indentured servant, ultimately moving to a smaller settlement on the James River. At the time, there was likely more work available on tobacco plantations for people who presented as male. However, it appears that Hall remained genderfluid by occasionally being seen about in women's attire. In explanation of this particular "quirk", Thomas(ine) Hall offered what I consider to be one of the best historical quotes ever: "I goe in womans apparel to get a bitt for my Catt". This has been interpreted as meaning that women's attire allowed Hall to enjoy sexual relations with male persons.

Eventually, this flaunting of current social norms caught up with Hall. They were accused of having had sexual relations with a maid. Apparently, the gender of the offender became a matter of criminal responsibility, because if Hall was identified as being a man, they could then be charged for sexual misconduct with a servant, but women were deemed incapable of committing this particular type of crime. This "criminal investigation" consisted of the townspeople taking it upon themselves to examine Hall's anatomy without their consent, possibly while they were sleeping. Despite a prominent local man determining that Hall was not a proper man, this did nothing to change the townspeople's desire for punishment, and led the villagers to take the case to the Quarter Court of Jamestown. After hearing from several witnesses, as well as from Hall, the court handed down a punishment inconsistent with legal precedent at the time. The court ruled that Hall was of a "dual nature", and where usually these offenders were made to choose one gender, Hall was punished in a rather unusual manner.

The court determined that Hall would go by the name Thomas(ine) and "goe clothed in man's apparell, only his head to bee attired in a coyfe and croscloth with an apron before him". Meaning that Hall was made to wear both men's and women's clothing simultaneously, essentially branding them a permanent outcast.

Not much is known about this person's life after this controversy, but I like to believe that they hit the road and continued to get a bit for their cat.

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Why is cryptocurrency everywhere now?

Photo by Executium on Unsplash

I am not a fan of cryptocurrency. I think it is a ridiculous currency tool created for people who want to skirt financial regulation. However, after the recent Gamestop ridiculousness it seems that every online trading platform is trying to get your money. Platforms like webull, etoro.com, and the recently unveiled MCO(CRO) Visa Card all tout cryptocurrency as a new, viable, investment tool. Much the same way they would promote securities or foreign currency exchange trading. This marketing is intentionally vague, and doesn't actually provide much in the way of reliable information on the reality of cryptocurrency. It seems these companies' marketing departments have just hopped on the recent uptick in interest to make a quick buck off of people who would otherwise have invested in other ways. Let's break down some of the goings on with cryptocurrencies.

1. Trading companies and their associated platforms are not reliable sources of investment information. - Etoro.com, and most others like it, do offer some short, but informative tutorials and articles on what blockchain is, how cryptocurrency works, and the technical aspects of investing in crypto. This is admirable but Etoro.com, specifically, touts it's social elements that will allow you to learn from the most successful traders on the platform. This is not a great way to promote financial literacy as there does not seem to be any kind of vetting or credentialing going on. Etoro is literally just letting users teach each other how to be successful on the platform without providing the huge disclaimer that this information is not necessarily reliable and applicable to everyone's investment situations. There is a reason that it is illegal to provide specific investment recommendation advice without the proper credentials. Unreliable or manipulative advice abounds even with regulations in place. So allowing anyone to offer investment advice just because this advice is about cryptocurrency (with little more qualification than their reputation on a trading platform) seems a bit dangerous. Along with this "social educational" element, these platforms do not ask the question of whether cryptocurrency is a worthwhile investment at all. This is the first question anyone looking into crypto should ask. Why should you put your money there, instead of a retirement account, or index fund? I can't find a reason.

2. There is weak persistence of returns across observed periods of time, making it hard to make a decision on where to invest. - There is little evidence of crash risk within cryptocurrency funds as the skewness of the returns is "large and positive".(Bianchi and Babiak 11) This is great news for those interested in investing, because "despite the high volatility of returns, the (unconditional) probability of cashing-in large gains is higher than the probability of suffering large losses."(Bianchi and Babiak 11) However, the trouble arises when you try analyze the returns of individual funds over time. There is demonstrably "weak evidence of persistence in the realised returns"(Bianchi and Babiak 11) of crypto funds. This means that even though a particular fund did well this year, this performance is not a reliable predictor of future performance. Any one particular fund is just as likely as any other to provide returns, or result in a net loss, which makes choosing where to put your crypto investment a matter of guesswork.

3. Environmental impact of crypto mining. - Researchers based out of the University of New Mexico were able to place an actual dollar number on the environmental cost of mining Bitcoin, specifically. "The researchers estimate that in 2018, every $1 of Bitcoin value created was responsible for $0.49 in health and climate damages in the United States. ... Their data shows that at one point during 2018, the cost in damages that it took to create Bitcoin matched the value of the exchange itself. Those damages arise from increased pollutants generated from the burning of fossil fuels used to produce energy, such as carbon dioxide, fine particulate matter, nitrogen oxides and sulfur dioxide. Exposure to some of these pollutants has been linked to increased risk of premature death. 'By using large amounts of electricity generated from burning fossil fuels, ... Cryptocurrency mining is associated with worse air quality and increased CO2 emissions.'"(Goodkind et al. 101281) This research was limited to the United States, and does not take into account the energy costs of cooling the mining equipment itself, which means that these estimates are likely lower than the true costs associated with global Bitcoin mining.

These are just a few of the issues I have found in my research into cryptocurrency. I personally will not be investing any time soon, but this may be a decent investment for someone who is in a stable financial position and is looking to do a bit of experimenting with a very new type of investment tool. I would not, however, recommend mining any type of cryptocurrency until we can do so sustainably. Comment below if any of this information has changed your opinion on cryptocurrencies as an investment.

Citations:

https://cryptoassetlab.diseade.unimib.it/docs/CAL2020/Investments_2.pdf

Bianchi, Daniele, and Mykola Babiak. “On the Performance of Cryptocurrency Funds.” SSRN Electronic Journal, 2020, p. 11. Crossref, doi:10.2139/ssrn.3559092.

University of New Mexico. "Environmental cost of cryptocurrency mines: Monetary price of health and air quality impacts." ScienceDaily. ScienceDaily, 13 November 2019. <www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2019/11/191113092600.htm>.

Goodkind, Andrew L., et al. “Cryptodamages: Monetary Value Estimates of the Air Pollution and Human Health Impacts of Cryptocurrency Mining.” Energy Research & Social Science, vol. 59, 2020, p. 101281. Crossref, doi:10.1016/j.erss.2019.101281.

[im-l-e-o]

Help Leo Find a Apartment

Hi, I’d really appreciate it if you would share or donate to this GoFundMe. https://gofund.me/2dafd8a3

Help Leo Find a Apartment, organized by Leo Zamora

I'm Leo. In March of 2021 is was in the hospital twice for almost killing myself. During my secon… Leo Zamora needs your support for Help Le

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TRANS LIBERATION NOW!

[transjoyblog]

Why the anti-trans argument for "protecting women's shelters" is complete bull!

I have heard so much from anti-trans advocates about protecting women's spaces that I felt compelled to shed some light on only one of the many reasons why, exactly, the argument to exclude trans people from "safe" spaces is completely baseless.

As a survivor of domestic violence myself I can personally attest to the fact that women and children's shelters are not inherently safe, as is the case with any temporary housing.

What anti-trans bigots fail to understand is that "women and children's safehouses" are for women and their children, REGARDLESS OF THE SEX OF THE CHILDREN!

When I lived in a domestic violence shelter, we were housed in a room right next door to a woman with 2 male children. I won't go into detail but suffice it to say that the older boy, about 14 years old, was already exhibiting predatory behavior towards me (3 years old, at the time), my sister (5 years old), and my mother (30 years old). My mother raised the issue with the shelter staff, and that family was promptly rehoused.

I will leave you with this. Anti-trans advocates don't care about vulnerable women, and certainly don't care to understand the realties of life in a shelter. They care about oppressing people who are most in need of these services. Trans women are women, trans men are men, and they have just as much a right to these "safe" spaces as anyone!

TRANS LIBERATION NOW!

[transjoyblog]

[transjoyblog]

The Many Astonishing Ways Abuse Can Affect Your Money

Photo by Darío Martínez-Batlle on Unsplash

People will use money, and your need of it, to manipulate you in various ways. Some are relatively harmless, and extremely common i.e. an otherwise neglectful parent buying their child lunch to get some time with them. However, some are more nefarious, and insidious. Here are a few common tactics people regularly use to control you financially:

Manipulation- This category is comprised of various types of manipulation including emotional appeal, constant desperation, and the use of younger siblings/dependent adults i.e. grandma against you.

Most everyone has been on the receiving end of an emotional appeal before. We use this to declare our love for each other, ask someone we have hurt for forgiveness, and so many other very positive interactions. But emotional appeal is also regularly used to try to influence a reluctant person to continue offering support with which they have become uncomfortable. A common use of emotional manipulation is for the dependent person to respond with an outburst of anger when support is threatened. They may genuinely feel that they have a right to be angry, and that may in fact be true, but that doesn't change the fact that the person providing support also has a right to their feelings, and ultimately, to their own time, energy, and money.

Another type of tactic that is very similar and often used in conjunction with emotional appeal, is for the person receiving support to be in a constant state of desperation. This person will often come to you at the end of the month to say, "Can I just borrow a couple hundred to get us through the month? I'll pay you pack the second I get paid." This is essentially asking for a payday loan from you, which we all know, is just a cycle of debt that actually benefits no one. This type of manipulation can be difficult to extract yourself from because there is probably a genuine need. However, it is ridiculous to expect anyone to loan you money on a frequent basis. If you cannot support your lifestyle on your own, reduce your lifestyle to the best of your ability.

If you have dependent family members, constant desperation becomes all that more effective. If grandma is on a fixed income, and Timmy is only 12 years old, they come with fixed expenses. Anyone knows this. And therefore, anyone should be able to plan for these expenses. If you are not living in the home, you are not responsible for grandma, or baby brother. I know this sounds harsh, and if the need is true, you can always offer other material support such as taking baby brother school clothes shopping, or asking only grandma what she might need from the store. But you do not need to provide money to people who may or may not be spending it in the way that they say they are.

Use of access to credit- Directly taking money out of an account they have access to, taking out a credit card in your name (or a joint one, if married) and using it indiscriminately or without permission.

My father was a big fan of this type of control. By the time my mother left him after 8 years of abuse, he had taken out something like 13 joint credit cards and run them all up to the limit. Not to mention all of the cards he took out in only his name or my mother's. He used my mother's maiden name and social security number to take out cards without her knowledge. He then chose to reveal the existence of these cards in moments when my mother was seriously considering leaving, claiming that if she left she would have nowhere to go because he had ruined her credit. This is obviously abusive behavior and should not be tolerated in any relationship, whether that is a relationship between adults, or a parent/child relationship. If you find yourself in a situation even close to this one, I highly recommend contacting the National Foundation for Credit Counseling (nfcc.org), as they may be able to provide concrete guidance on how to challenge behaviors like these in court.

Another form of manipulation could be pressuring you to take out a card and let someone else use it. This has actually happened to someone I know. Their parents put a lot of pressure on this person, basically the minute they turned 18, to take out a credit card in their name and let the parents use it, and pay it off. Or so they said. Ultimately, they were not able to make the payments on it, even the minimums, and destroyed this child's credit. The parents also convinced this child to take out payday loans in this child's name, and then just "loan" them the money. Please do not fall for this. This is manipulation, pure and simple. No reasonable person asks another to take out a loan for them, regardless of if you can afford it, or if they'll pay you back right away. Forget it. Any money loaned out is not a loan. You should be comfortable with the concept of never seeing that money back, and it should be an amount of money that you can afford to never see again. Regardless of how close you are, if not getting paid back would ruin your relationship with this person, you cannot afford to lend them money.

Monitoring- Keeping track of how you spend money, not allowing you a say in the family finances, or being cagey with their personal finances, while expecting you to be completely forthright with yours, usually perpetrated under the guise of "handling the finances", are all tactics that many people in long term relationships use to control their partner(s) or sometimes parents use to control their young adult children. This behavior can usually be spotted early on in the relationship.

1. Do they check up on you when they know you have other things to do?

2. Do they expect an unreasonable level of communication?

3. Do they ask to move in together pretty quickly? (This can be a tactic to more fully control your environment, or to begin the process of isolation, or dependence.)

4. Do they regularly ask for small sums of money, and always pay you back? (This can be a way to warm you up to the idea of giving them access to your accounts, or to loaning them large sums of money, which they will likely never pay back.)

5. Have they asked to share bills or accounts early on in the relationship, or before you have moved in together? (This could be a dependence or control tactic, because if they are on the account they are entitled to control and monitoring of the account, whether that is a cell phone bill, or a bank account.)

This is just a small selection of the types of questions that could come up as you negotiate the financial terms of your long term relationships. There are tons of questions that pertain to specific situations, people, and relationships. A great rule of thumb is to ask yourself whether you can communicate regularly, openly, and safely about your feelings with this person. If you do not have solid communication, trust, and safety with any person, they do not deserve access to or control of your financial life.

"Losing ambition" or other types of dependence- This can best be described as someone depending on your money while refusing to work when otherwise able - and this one comes with a huge caveat. Many people are truly dependent, and truly cannot work or find work for reasons beyond their control. But this needs to be communicated. Usually, the people who use dependence as a tactic to control you do not keep a regular conversation about finances going because that would reveal the extent of their use and abuse. My fiancee is pretty much entirely dependent on my income due to a chronic illness. I do not resent this because we have had tons and tons of conversations about our finances, and she has her own money and bank account. She contributes as best she can around the house, and constantly has ambitions of making her own money. She even buys me dinner sometimes. She is still driven and ambitious, it has just had to change in scope and degree from where she was before she was ill. That being said, refusing to work, find work, or otherwise contribute around the house can be a way to manipulate you into continuing to take care of someone. Keeping themselves dependent on you can make you second guess your desire to leave because "What would happen to them, they aren't working, I'm the only one paying the rent, where would they go?" This is a spiral that they want you to have because as long as they have nothing, you have to stay with them. The way to deal with this behavior is to do your best to sit with them and discuss their goals, what plans they have of achieving them, and how you and your money fit into that picture. Both parties should come to an agreement that feels ok for both parties. This will not feel good, do not expect it to. But this plan should offer both of you some level of psychological relief, and guidance on what the next steps could be for the dependent person. If someone is resistant to making substantive change in themselves and their lives, when they are otherwise completely capable of doing so, you do not need to feel responsible for their life, even if they do not feel responsible for it themselves. At this point you are forced to accept that this person is resistant to change right now, and will probably continue their pattern of behavior and manipulation regardless of anything you may or may not do. So, it would be in your best interest to distance yourself from the dependent person as much as possible. Ultimately, I encourage everyone to seek the professional help of a therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist whenever possible. It always helps to have an objective lens through which to view a difficult situation such as manipulation or abuse.

Actionable Advice:

1. If you take nothing else from this article, always remember the 3 C's: Consent Communication Consideration. - Every partner in any relationship has a right to these three C's.

2. Protect yourself - we are raised to extend our trust, love, and vulnerability to the people who are closest to us, but this does not take into account the reality of toxic relationships and family members.

3. Educate yourself - Continue to advance your knowledge of personal finance and relationships. None of us are perfect. We all have gaps in our understanding, especially when it comes to interpersonal relationships, and getting along with others. Kindergarten can't teach us everything.

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Sure Fire Ways to Financially Bullet Proof Your Relationship

Photo by Francesco Ungaro on Unsplash

Me and my fiancee have been together for almost 8 years now, and we have been through almost the entire gamut of employment and income situations. When Vee and me first met we were both in high school, summer school honors program, to be exact. Neither one of us had a job, but we had big ideas, and expectations about the job market that were completely unfounded. As we got older, we both struggled to find work, and it wasn't until I got my pharmacy technician's license that we had a modicum of regular income. When I say modicum, I mean about $500/month. We managed to save a good portion of our incomes no matter how sporadic, and believe me, this was not easy. We fought about things as simple as picking up a value menu meal to split, we were so poor. It took this experience, a lot more challenges, and a few screaming matches (I'm ashamed to say), for us to realize that we needed to have an ongoing conversation around our finances. We were perfectly comfortable speaking about the big goals and dreams, and we were pretty much on the same page with these, and we even agreed on how we were going to reach these goals. However, this does not mean that everything was perfect. We felt pressure from our parents to find more and better work, when none existed where we were living at the time. We had huge fights for 2 or 3 Christmas seasons in a row because we were not making very much, but we still felt pressure to buy gifts for everyone in the family. There is no need to go into the specifics of these fights but I feel like if you are still reading you may agree with me that you could learn from our mistakes and use the following as a list of topics to weave into this ongoing conversation about finances you and your significant other should regularly be having.

That's the point of this article. Conversations that need to be had, questions need to be asked, and values need to be defined and either agreed on or compromised on, especially when it comes to large purchases, credit use and management, and the kids and their futures.

Here are some suggestions from my personal experience:

Conversations to Have:

1. What are your spending habits? Can you make them work together?

2. What are your individual attitudes towards the desire for, and acquisition of large assets i.e. land, a house, a business, a rental property? -What are your goals and expectations for these assets?

3. What is the cutoff for telling your spouse about purchases? This can be sticky subject. Some people want to know every single purchase you make (be wary of this behavior, you are entitled to your own money, and control of it. I would temper this warning with a huge helping of responsibility for the material support of others, self-awareness, and a warning that everyone in the house deserves some level of input into the family finances). And some people want to completely separate their finances, which is fine, but you need to establish how you will handle joint expenses and assets including how you would like your children's inheritance to be split up, regardless of which of you passes first. Please be prepared for the legal ramifications of keeping married people's finances separate. You may need to look into establishing a trust, you may need to be more explicit with your wishes than the standard boilerplate will, or at the very least, set up an account specifically for legal fees associated with your estate to avoid leaving your children without an inheritance, and possibly footing an unwieldy legal bill on top of it.

4. What are your individual attitudes around credit usage?

5. What are your values around children? Do you feel the need to buy your children toys, gifts, and treats every time you leave the house with them? Does your partner? What do you want to model for your children financially? How do you want to teach them about money? What are your own shortcomings in your understanding of finance, and money management?

6. How will you plan for the future? Both your own and your children? Is it important that you be financially stable before you have children? What do you want your children's future's to look like? Do you want to save for college specifically, or for any eventual path that they may want to take?

7. What are your attitudes around technology? Do you like to be an early adopter? Are you more hesitant? How much of the budget are you willing to invest in or save for new tech?

8. Do you like subscription services? What are you and your partner's attitudes around these? (I personally recommend that you avoid these like the plague, but who asked me?)

9. How much are you willing to spend on holidays, birthdays, and get togethers? This goes hand in hand with a conversation you should also be having about the role that your individual families will play in your life. My fiancee has a decently sized immediate family and we have had to plan for a lot of gifts and get togethers, something I didn't know to expect coming from an immediate family with a total of 3 members, including myself.

10. What do you want your careers to look like? You would hate to enter into a relationship, or even marry someone, only to find out that they fully expected you to quit your job, or otherwise scale back the minute your family needs childcare. What are your expectations of your and your partner's ability to provide financially? Will a sudden and ongoing job loss (for either of you) cause you to reevaluate your choice in partner? For some it would. Which is why you need to have these conversations!

Actions to Take:

1. Do not spend a crazy amount on the wedding, without good cause i.e. cultural expectation. I am not here to tell you how to practice your traditions or faith. However, I strongly recommend you avoid incurring debt when paying for the wedding regardless of how much you need to spend.

2. Do set up at least one jointly owned account to handle recurring joint expenses. This helps more if both partners have regular income.

3. Do have at least one separate personal savings account for each of you. You can assign large goals to these accounts, such as using one for saving for a wedding and another as your family emergency savings. Or you could keep them completely separate and ensure that you both always maintain some level of autonomy and separation. Mad money is a good thing.

4. Keep the lines of communication going. Usually someone will accept the mantel of "the one who manages the money", and sometimes that arrangement works. That's definitely still ok. However, both partners need to have a say in the finances in general, and this happens by having regular conversations to keep everyone up to date, and to allow both partners to air grievances, and provide constructive input into how you both could manage the financial part of your relationship. If one person is a spender, and one is a saver, this will take a lot more work and willingness to compromise on certain individual goals. These conversations will need to keep these differences front and center to avoid a buildup of resentment.

5. Learn the signs of abuse, manipulation, and specifically gaslighting. Protect yourself, know yourself, and make your own decisions, while still allowing the people you love to have a place in your decision making process without completely commandeering it. This includes kids, parents, distant relatives, partners, and even friends. Everyone you invite into your life has the potential to hurt you, or want something from you, be aware of the common tactics that people use to part you with your money.

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6 Personal Values That Will Hurt Your Business

Photo by Ava Sol on Unsplash

Everyone has their own set of personal values by which they live their life. These can be consciously chosen, or be created by default. Usually, everyone has some combination of chosen, and default values and beliefs, but no matter how you came to them, every single one of your values should be examined and judged as to how it supports your goals, or wellbeing. Anyone who has adopted this practice of active self-reflection has found some values to be incongruous with living well. The same is true for building a business. There are simply some values that will get in the way of building a lasting, stable business, that works for both you and your employees. That is not to say that one cannot make money if you have any of these values. In fact, capitalism can bring some of the following values out in even the best of us, which is why you should be aware of these values and how to avoid relying on them.

1. You put yourself first. Either the customer or your employees or (ideally) both must come first when seeking to get value out of a business i.e. paying yourself for the time and effort you put into the business. I mean this in both the abstract and very real legal sense of the word. When a business is having cash flow issues, you are still legally obligated to pay your employees on time. If you do not you are in violation of federal law, and probably whatever state law governs your business practices. This is the basic order of operations to use when thinking about how your business provides value. You are always last. Even when filing Chapter 7 liquidation, secured debt (debt backed by collateral) is given the highest priority when paying back creditors, followed closely by pay owed to employees.

How to Avoid This:

Make a list of values that you would like your business to embody. Refer to this when you need some clarity on a big, values driven decision i.e. What is the business' family leave policy?

Keep your eye on the ball - why are you doing business? The answer should be to provide something of value to others, and making money should be side effect of a great product or service.

2. You shirk responsibility in the face of tough decisions. You may feel that you are happy to accept a leadership position, and would gladly take on everything that comes with that. But have you ever had to make the decision to fire someone? And I don't mean someone who is incompetent or otherwise underperforming. Have you ever had to fire a loyal, high performing person with whom you have worked very closely to build something in which you both believe? This is a situation in which you may find yourself, and you would do well to prepare for this possibility. I suggest reading The Hard Thing About Hard Things by Ben Horowitz to learn more about the tough spots in which you could find yourself should the business grow beyond just yourself.

How to Avoid This:

Consciously start choosing to cultivate decisiveness. If someone asks what you would like for dinner, provide a real answer, instead of a middling, "I'm good with whatever anyone else wants". When asked your opinion, give it, thoughtfully, and only when asked. There are a ton of other ways to improve your decision making skills, most of which are probably just a Google search away.

3. You tend to be suspicious in the face of ambiguity, you rarely give the benefit of the doubt or worse, you tend to fall for the logical fallacy called argument from ignorance. This is a false dichotomy fallacy that asserts that a proposition is true because it has not yet been proven false or a proposition is false because it has not yet been proven true. For example, I once had a boss think that our dishwasher was lying about having to leave early from work. He claimed that he had to get a court mandated drug test at a facility just down the road from our work. My boss supposed that because he could be lying, and she did not have positive proof that he was being honest, he must be trying to get off early, at least sometimes. Please don't do this. This guy was being completely honest. I had to pass the route he took to this facility in order to make my way home, and I almost always saw him on his way to where he said he was going.

How to Avoid This:

Educate yourself on the principals of logical fallacy, and proper argumentative techniques. One of the best books I have ever read on this subject was actually a textbook in my college speech class. It was Thank You for Arguing by Jay Heinrichs. I also recommend you educate yourself on proper research techniques, and how to discern a reliable source of information, from an unreliable one. Training yourself on generally accepted information sourcing techniques is invaluable and can help you with everything from politics to your personal relationships.

4. You believe learning is finite and time bound. I once heard someone proudly announce that they didn't read books anymore because they had received their Master's degree, and therefore had done all the reading they needed to do. This may be an extreme example, but a lot of people do not truly value learning as much as they value credentialing, or "education". Businesses must learn to survive. Actively learn. Meaning, leaders need to propose hypotheses, run experiments, collect data, and analyze this data to reach a conclusion on the hypothesis. That is the only way a business can continue to grow and thrive in the current business climate.

How to Avoid This:

You can read The Lean Startup by Eric Reis for more information on the role that learning plays in the success of a business. Study the theories proposed in this book, and use them to inform your own company culture.

You can make learning a priority in your life. Not just as another thing to check off your to-do list. Keep up on your reading, even if you only like reading so-called "trashy" fiction. Reading is reading, and there have been some studies that support the idea that reading fiction can help us improve our ability to "walk a mile in someone else's shoes".

5. You're racist, sexist, or otherwise discriminatory or prejudiced. This includes things like having a preference for hiring a certain type of person for specific roles in the organization. You may catch yourself or others saying things like "I agree that she may be a good fit, but she is so young," or, "He should be applying for something in the back, we can't have men running the register." The latter was a common refrain in certain parts of the food service industry for a long time.

Also be sure to look out for the ways in which you judge others' appearances. I recently listened to episode 433 of the Smart Passive Income Podcast, entitled "Black Entrepreneurs Speak Out, Volume 2". In this episode we hear from James Shannon, who tells us about a time that he was told not to wear a hoodie to work because he "looked like a thug." This is explicitly racist behavior. It is the kind of behavior that is so hard to call out when you are on the receiving end, because it is so easy to argue against, especially when the person committing this offense is in a position of authority over you and your livelihood. Get the full story by listening to the podcast, it is definitely worth your time.

How to Avoid This:

We all have an obligation to educate ourselves on the reality of others. By this I mean, each and every one of us have a societal obligation to "walk a mile" in as many types of shoes as we can. While you may (hypothetically) be a cisgender, heterosexual, Hispanic man, plenty of people are not. And understanding the struggles, traditions, problems, and joys of people who are not similar to you will help you develop an understanding of how you, and your decisions fit within "the larger picture" of society. This understanding can help you connect with anyone better, as people will respond to those who make a genuine effort to understand and respect their experience. If you're working on your reading habit, be sure to read books by people who encourage critical thinking, respect for others, and offer new perspectives on large issues, such as How to Be an Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi, or Histories of the Transgender Child by Jules Gill-Peterson.

6. You lie. Whether it is a simple habit of hyperbolic gossip, or outright deception there is no place for dishonesty at work. The tendency to lie is a human one, and I do believe that there is some place for small lies that have become a part of polite American small talk i.e. answering "I'm just fine." when someone asks how you're doing because you don't feel like explaining that you had a terrible fight with your wife that morning and you, in fact, feel like a dumpster fire. What I mean by lying is any form of knowing misrepresentation, deception, or fraud. This is not only damaging to your reputation, this habit can get you into serious legal trouble. Fraud is a serious charge that could land you in federal prison depending on the nature of your lies.

How To Avoid This:

Value honesty and plainness of speech. I try to refrain from using technical language as best I can, so as to retain the utmost clarity when making a point. You may feel like everyone is inflating themselves, and you have to do the same to compete. Do not do this. Openness and honesty will open more doors than it will close, and the doors it does close may very well be worth closing.

Wrapping it all up

If you find that you have given into any of these default values, you're not alone. I have been guilty of all of these to some degree, but the important thing is to identify these influences, and work to understand the pressure they exert over your decisions. You can change the things that you value for the better, and improve your business as a consequence of your pursuit.

There is also so much more you can do to actually affect change within society as a whole. Even if you are like myself, and can't even attend a protest, let alone help organize one, there are still ways in which you can help. I am looking into opportunities to lend some data entry assistance to my County's COVID-19 vaccine administration sites. We can all step up, and do what we can, with what we have, where we are!

What are some other values and beliefs that hinder businesses and their owners' success? I am always interested in expanding my perspective, so let me know in the comments!

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How Being Transgender Can Challenge Your Financial Future

Photo by Micheile Henderson on Unsplash

Being transgender is pretty difficult. There are a lot of ways this can affect your life, and well being, physically, mentally, and financially. This last category is one that is often neglected, and yet is of the utmost importance. Being prepared for how your identity will affect your future finances can help you weather the storm just that much better. Here are a few issues that I have identified based on research and personal experience.

1. Depending on your family and support system, you could lose much needed financial support after you come out.

I hate to start off on such a crappy note, but it needs to be said. This is still a reality for a lot of transgender and genderqueer folks, especially younger people. If your finances are not your own, or you are otherwise beholden to someone who may object to your identity (i.e. living with your conservative parents), you need to plan how you will support yourself after you come out. Of course, I hope and pray that everyone will have a great support system, and will be fully accepted by their community after they have the courage to come out. But the sad reality is, that is just not going to be the case for some people. If you feel like there is a chance that you will lose much needed support after coming out, you should do your best to plan your future before coming out. Get a job, any job that will have you and works with your schedule. Save as much money as humanly possible. On top of that, you can start DoorDashing if you are old enough, or you could take a longer approach and start a blog or other business that could eventually become a source of income.

If someone is paying for your schooling, you need to consider how coming out will affect this, as well. If there is a risk of losing your support you either need to save enough to support yourself, hold off on coming out until you have an income that can support you (which I hate to recommend, but could make sense for some situations), or just accept that you may have to take a break from school to save some money. You could do like I did, take a break from college until you are 24 and your parents are no longer legally required to be a factor in paying for your education.

2. If you feel it necessary to medically transition, this opens up a whole can of worms. You may need regular medical care for the rest of your life, surgery (or surgeries), and time off from work to recover from each surgery.

If you are in the US, you may be familiar with the dismal state in which we find our current healthcare and insurance systems. I am currently insured under my mother's plan through her work, but I don't use it. It is very hard to find a doctor in my area that accepts the insurance. Even if I wanted to, I would still have to pay a copay that is way out of my price range. My mother, who makes well over six figures annually, complains about how high the copays are with this plan, that she chose. But she chose the cheapest monthly plan, and only insures me because she feels she has to as I am not yet 26 years old. Suffice it to say, I feel like I don't have health insurance, because I can't afford the insurance I have. It is for this reason alone that I have yet to pursue medical transition. I have had to chose between legal transition and medical transition, and I have chosen to save for the legal costs first.

3. You should be planning for the fees associated with legally transitioning.

I plan on doing a whole article on this topic alone, because it is that important. The legal transition process can be arcane and opaque depending on the state in which you currently reside and the state in which you were born. Personally, I currently live in California, which is primarily concerned with getting paid. If you have the money, and fill out the forms correctly, you can legally transition tomorrow. It will take awhile to process the paperwork, but it really is that simple to begin with. If you were born in California you could have your birth certificate updated during this process, but if you were not, like me, things get a little more complicated. Unfortunately, I was born in Virginia. This means that in order to change my name, and gender on my birth certificate I will have to submit a court order from California that demonstrates this change. This just adds one more thing to the laundry list of other documents that need to be changed, some of which can cost money to replace depending on where you live.

4. You may feel that you need to build a secondary income stream, at least part time.

I always recommend a secondary income source. It is just foolish to rely entirely on one job at a time to support all of your financial well being. In this day and age, this kind of thinking just isn't possible, for anyone. But those people who find themselves anywhere outside the gender binary may feel that they need to build some way to bring in money outside of their day job because they may struggle to find or keep a day job at all. Historically, members of the trans community have resorted to illegal means of making money i.e. certain kinds of sex work, just to survive, and unfortunately, this continues in a lot places to this day. While you may not find yourself resorting to sex work, you may still struggle to find and keep a job because up until June of 2020 it was perfectly legal on the federal level in the US to fire, demote, refuse to hire, or otherwise discriminate against someone who identified as transgender. There were some states of the union that extended legal protections to the trans community before 2020, but there were plenty more that didn't. Local sentiments about the trans community and awareness of this change in labor laws will take even longer to get up to speed with the times. You may feel unsafe in your workplace, even if no material punishment befalls you. You may be subject to insidious forms of harassment, such as deadnaming, misgendering, and being made the butt of inappropriate jokes. This kind of harassment is difficult to stop, especially if you end up in a workplace where management is ill informed on trans specific types of harassment. A secondary income stream could provide a small cushion while you leave this type of workplace and find a new, more understanding one. If you didn't have a little something on the side, you may be forced to stay in this trauma inducing workplace, which is something I hope no one has to endure.

5. Family planning can get complicated, and thus, expensive.

Any family planning option that is outside of the standard heterosexual manner is automatically expensive because it enters the realm of the medical; anyone who has suffered from infertility can attest to this. If you find yourself wanting children of your own, you have a few options depending on your sex at birth. If you were born male, you will have to find someone to donate an egg, and someone to birth the baby. If you have a willing, and healthy friend this option can be relatively close to the heterosexual, cisgender experience. But many people find that they have to find and purchase a set of eggs from a donor, and then have them incubated and placed via IVF into a surrogate. This is an incredibly expensive process, so much so that it oftentimes prohibits people who would otherwise be wonderful parents from having biological children.

If you were assigned female at birth, things become a bit more complicated, and can depend entirely on your comfort with your own biology. I personally will never have biological children, for a variety of reasons. Chief among these is I have no desire to be pregnant, or birth children. My fiancee did for a very long time, and we decided that should we pursue biological children they would be entirely hers. But even if we did, sperm is not cheap, and not at all guaranteed to work. It is perfectly normal for a heterosexual, cisgender couple to find that it takes them close to a year to successfully conceive. This means that you could feasibly spend over $800 per month, for 12 months before pursuing other means such as IVF. A typical round of IVF could cost upwards of $10,000. Even if you have a kind friend that agrees to donate some sperm, you still have to have a contract drawn up to facilitate this transaction, adding legal fees to this process.

6. Your financial priorities change overall.

Finance first piqued my interest during a time in my life when I had no money. When I say no money, I mean no money, and no way of making money on my own. No computer, intermittent access to a working mobile phone, no job prospects, nothing. I found myself in a position of powerlessness, and decided that once I had money I never wanted to be broke again. A lot of people who find themselves on the margins of society find that money is never far out of mind. It is just our reality. It would behoove everyone, but especially those for which society has little or no tolerance, to figure out how to effectively manage money. But from what I have seen cis and hetero people who take an interest in money management, finance, and business more broadly tend to approach these tools as a means of creating wealth, whereas people who find themselves marginalized tend to see money as means of attaining that ever elusive sense of material safety. It is a small but, important distinction. Things such as food, transportation, and reliable and safe housing are extremely important goals for which genderqueer people can spend their entire lives striving. These experiences of material deprivation scar you, and reshuffle your priorities, usually with safety and stability right at the top. This can prevent someone from taking material risks the way that cis/hetero people can. Risks such as buying a house, seeking education beyond the minimum legally required by one's profession, and starting a family can seem too expensive for people who have different ideas of what is “the worst that could happen”. These same people may not necessarily have family that is able to lend them money, or other material support. A supportive community is the key to stability in almost every sense, and up until very recently, most of this country seemed hell bent on denying access to a supportive community to genderqueer individuals.

Wrapping it all up

Taken together, all of this paints a bleak portrait of the financial possibilities afforded trans people. But this portrait is an incomplete one, for centuries trans, genderqueer, and other marginalized communities have found methods to survive and sometimes thrive. I am always curious about methods that trans and genderqueer people use to create financial stability in their lives. If you have a good tip, a coping strategy, or proven method that you have used to find material stability in your life, I want to hear about it! Comment below; I am always curious about the wide range of human experience!