A Blog About Me Taking T

Banner is the transmasc flag from the nonbinary wiki

[transmasc-journal]

Intro

Hey this is gonna be my intro post.

I’m Lee, I’m a 23 year old nonbinary individual; specifically I’m transmasc.

I go by they/he. I’m from the American west-coast, and I’ve lived here my entire life.

Since I’m AFAB and want to go through a medical transition, I’m taking injecible testosterone and my goal is to go through a top surgery as well. I’m not going to be doing any genital surgeries. Formerly, I was taking gel testosterone.

I’m making this blog for both myself and other people if others find it useful- I know there are resources on taking T and stuff but I find it hard to find detailed documented experiences, so I’m just gonna make one.

I’m pretty bad at keeping up with journaling and stuff, but hopefully I’ll push through it.

For clarity I’m not a transmedicalist, this is just what I’m doing for my own transition.

[transmasc-journal]

So. Taking a self injection as someone highly needle-phobic.

Going slow and allowing myself to see the Needle, pick it up, and get it close to and on my skin was extremely helpful. Ordinarily even seeing a needle on TV is enough for me to panic, so going at my own pace and taking it in was helpful.

I also have experience with using piercing needles and piercing my ears, which are the same type of needle but bigger. This helped reassociate it a little.

After getting the needle in, I injected slowly as I was comfortable. I did experience some resistance towards the end, likely from the amount of it and there only being so much room in a given area so I had to use a bit more force.

With my anxiety, I did have some body shock- my fingers and toes went ice cold and I had to lean back on my couch and drink some juice and water.

I recovered after 5 minutes and am okay to do it again this coming Monday!

[transmasc-journal]

I've been on and off t for a while, and my insurance ran out a few months ago so I've been totally off. I just started t again on the injection so I will let yall know how it goes. I'm gonna try and update each Monday.

[transmasc-journal]

T Update 5/22/2021

Well I knew I would forget to update eventually, sorry about that.

Content warning for TMI as usual but also mentioning of my period cycle.

It's been a bit over a month on T. Changes have been minimal so far, but there have been some.

My voice isn't deeper per say, but it's easier for me to deep into lower registers I could already reach before. My morning voice is a bit deeper I think?

Still experiencing clitoral sensitivity which sucks majorly. Any kind of touch, even just washing, hurts.

I did have my cycle on time this month (I'm usually somewhat irregular). The general accompanying acne showed up. I noticed a couple days before it started that the general smell aligned with that of my period so be aware of that. It's normal even if you aren't bleeding yet. I started my period very light at first, there wasn't much bleeding but enough that I knew what it was the second day. It then kind of became more and more each day to where it would be a very bad idea to NOT wear some kind of collection for it. Sucks, but I'm hoping maybe next month I won't have one.

I'm lucky in that I already had some dark upper lip hair- moreso than the average afab individual. I can't tell if it's darker/thicker or not or if I'm just seeing things due to wishful thinking.

I havent had any anger I couldn't get on top of since that first time which has been a relief.

Being on T has made me feel more secure in my transnes, which is really nice.

I'm also gonna start tagging my posts with the relevant info so bottom growth, hair growth, etc, for easier searching in the future. :)

[transmasc-journal]

Update 5/4/21

I started taking full doses two nights ago. The day after I started taking full doses, I had a really bad fit of anger towards a friend online that I just couldn’t seem to get on top of. It took me all day and night and then waking up the next morning to be able to think calmly about it. Unsure if it’s related, but the timing is coincidental enough I thought I’d put it in my update. Nothing else notable has happened.

[transmasc-journal]

Something I forgot to post: about 4 days in was when I started noticing bottom growth through touch only- my clit felt different and was hypersensitive and painful to touch which is becomingly increasingly prominent during things like showering.

[transmasc-journal]

Side-effects So Far

So it’s been 3 days, and I haven’t noticed anything- this is to be expected since it’s been.. like no time since I’ve started. I did notice a little libido spike and also some dull labia pain, but that in my opinion is probably not due to the T. The libido spike, maybe? But I only just started so I’m not too convinced.

I think I’ll make a side-effects post once a week on every Saturday, or if something comes up I want to share. :) 04/22/2021

[transmasc-journal]

On Taking T

I take the gel packets, and since I’m doing an in-between dose of microdosing and full dosing, I’m taking half a packet a night on one shoulder/upper arm, which is about 20.25 mg instead of the full 40.5 mg. I’m going to be going to a full dose a night in 10 days, since it expires in June and I don’t want it to expire before I can use it up. They came in a small box that says Testosterone Topical Gel, 1.62%, and they smell a little like cleaning alcohol when you put it on, but not obnoxiously so (I have a sensory disorder and it doesn’t interfere). I was expecting it to be gooey or stickiy, but it’s not at all. It’s quite slick and dries really fast. I squeeze it onto my arm or fingers and then rub it over my arm, sticking to my upper arm and shoulder. I wash my hands immediately. I’ve read online that you should wait 2 hours before cleaning your arm off so it can be touched or touch your bed and such, so I do that, and then I wash it with soap and water. With my insurance (Blue Cross Blue Shield Illinois), the box of gel came to $10, and I think without it it was in the $500s, though I’m not positive on that part so don’t quote me.

[transmasc-journal]

T-Day

My t-day is April 19th, 2021, so I’ve been on T for 3 days now, and I’ve taken it 4 times.