[actuallytranssexual]

question for you: why do you care if people choose to use the label transgender and transition just because they want to? does it matter? if it makes them happy, why should you or i care?

I don't care about people "deciding to be transgender" because I'm a reactionary anti-progress nut. I care about it for two main reasons:

The idea that someone can simply "decide to be trans" makes transsexuals look bad, and saying that a real transsexual is only just as valid as someone who just decided to identify as transgender is straight-up transphobic because there is a difference between wanting to be the opposite sex versus having a very serious medical condition that invokes dysphoria based on natal sexual parts, and makes you feel as if you "shouldn't have them" and should have the reproductive system of the opposite sex instead (sort of like phantom limbs).

Even if real transsexuals didn't exist, the idea that anyone can be a woman is inherently misogynistic because it dismisses what women go through.

[the-blue-fairie]

Original comic by Rasenth

[ebenana]

Leelah Alcorn was a trans girl, a teenager, who sadly committed suicide nearly 10 years ago. I'm happy that her comic touches the hearts of so many people, years after her death.

I saved screenshots of her blog and last message to the world. Her parents had a lot of control over how she was perceived after her death, but it was also to prevent deletion by Tumblr itself. Even back then, Tumblr has been shadow banning trans women on this platform.

My heart goes out to all trans women who are struggling with society's expectations of who they are supposed to be and who they are allowed to be. May you find peace, growth, and respite from whatever you're going through. You deserve happiness, most of all. Thank you for living, thank you for being here with us.

[animentality]

[headspace-hotel]

I have to add that gender euphoria for cis people doesn't always come from like, conforming to your gender in a "stereotypical" way

I've always been very comfortable with my gender but I didn't Really Like being a woman until I cut my hair short and started dressing/presenting more "masculine."

When i realized that I could look "manly" as a woman I truly felt comfortable and really...more "like" a woman. I enjoy being masculine and it strengthens my connection to womanhood and it's just kinda cool

[transmeds]

eh I left the discourse since then. TBH Ever since then I've been doing better, chilled out a lot more about others, and also discovered I'm trans myself, I had just been suppressing my dysphoria to the point I believed I didnt have it or didnt have enough for it too count. Not to mention that the whole presentation should match your gender sentiment shared in transmed circles did not help at all, turns out you can in fact, want to be a guy and still do make-up and wear dresses. Though part of that is also my own fault from internalized transphobia too. I'm not fully tucute but I definitely am glad to distance myself from the majority of transmeds since a lot of them have just gone full Blair White and vehemently against GNC trans people in general. I still think people need dysphoria to be trans but I think what a lot of transmeds dont realize is that most trans people without dysphoria do indeed have it, its just very light, suppressed, or just comes about in a different way that cant be described neatly, and it ends up pushing out a lot of people who do indeed have dysphoria. But in the end I dont really care anymore, there is virtually no benefit to pretending to be trans and even online being trans fucking sucks, so anyone pretending to be trans is either a fed stirring shit up, someone who is trying to figure out something else and has ended up here, or actually trans and is suppressing it in a very strange way.

oh yeah for sure, i've always been very much for the mindset that "the majority of non dysphoric trans people are actually either 1. geniunely confused OR 2. actually dysphoric" because only a very small amount of people would do that shit for fun or to be actually malicious. it's less about stopping people from identifying as ftm/mtf to me and more about stopping them from spreading misinformation about trans people. THAT BIT SUCKS and just makes MORE confused people.

i also 100% get the bit about transmeds being too extreme and disliking gnc people, i've always been very picky about who specifically i hang around so i personally haven't had many issues telling transmeds i know / knew that i crossdress?! they don't seem to think it makes me any less of a guy but maybe its just cause i dont fit many "tucute stereotypes"

[transmeds]

actually in case there's Any transmeds reading this that can't understand why trans people would like to crossdress sometimes i figure i should at least sort of try to explain the way i personally see it?! i dont think that having an issue with something should mean that you never do it and never try to cope with your feelings... obviously just wishing them away will never get rid of them but "grrr dysphoria stops you..." is stupid. are you going to tell a depressed person they're faking because they go out smiling with their friends? tell someone they're not actually autistic because they fit in too much? like literally what? learning to live with an issue to have fun doesn't make it go away... ultimately i do want to transition medically when i have the money, until then am i supposed to be miserable or at least try to cope? I'm still going to crossdress after i transition if i ever can, it'll be easier and let me do it more often, even! consider i'd have less things to have to cope about!

it's also just... weird to say that someone having an issue HAS to stop them from doing things... like thats a weird mindset. ive very very sorry its hard for you, it's hard for everyone but that doesn't mean we should sit down and accept horrible feelings. i have a huge issue with paranoia, to the point i used to wash my hands so much my skin started to dry out and bleed. am i suppsoed to accept that? to sit here and wash my hands a 40th time today because "it's very uncomfortable" if i don't? like no shit it's uncomfortable it wouldn't be a problem that needs fixing if it wasn't but that doesn't mean I should feed into every single negative feeling i have... you should be able to cope in the meanwhile before you can transition. is that an unpopular opinion?

i love female fashion. should i deny myself any interest in something I've been into forever because of my issues with it? i personally don't think so. i will occasionally make myself get past that discomfort and self hatred for moments of fun and joy. i think it's worth it personally. if you have something you like but get dysphoric abt i hope you can also enjoy it on occasion. good luck o7

[transmeds]

to continue my last post about being suppressing shit and being geniunely confused... of course that's going to happen when you have a bunch of kids and impressionable young adults telling themselves

"if i have any even slightly complicated feelings and opinions on dysphoria and being trans, that makes me a bigot and all my friends will hate me" & "if i have even slightly complicated feeings on gender expression and being trans, that makes a wokie tucute and all my friends will hate me"

i personally think that tucutes tend to have a larger issue with this type of "don't listen to anyone different from me, don't question anything my peers believe" mindset but it definitely exists inside transmed circles too. but yeah, i think that actually listening to the other side even when you disagree with is very valuable and even if you ALWAYS disagree, it can give you difference shit to build off of about understanding your own experiences. like even if it's "that logic makes absolutely no sense but it did make me get why exactly i believe differently" and not "shit thats a good point, maybe i do get you" the part about being open to listening is what gets you there

[transmeds]

eh I left the discourse since then. TBH Ever since then I've been doing better, chilled out a lot more about others, and also discovered I'm trans myself, I had just been suppressing my dysphoria to the point I believed I didnt have it or didnt have enough for it too count. Not to mention that the whole presentation should match your gender sentiment shared in transmed circles did not help at all, turns out you can in fact, want to be a guy and still do make-up and wear dresses. Though part of that is also my own fault from internalized transphobia too. I'm not fully tucute but I definitely am glad to distance myself from the majority of transmeds since a lot of them have just gone full Blair White and vehemently against GNC trans people in general. I still think people need dysphoria to be trans but I think what a lot of transmeds dont realize is that most trans people without dysphoria do indeed have it, its just very light, suppressed, or just comes about in a different way that cant be described neatly, and it ends up pushing out a lot of people who do indeed have dysphoria. But in the end I dont really care anymore, there is virtually no benefit to pretending to be trans and even online being trans fucking sucks, so anyone pretending to be trans is either a fed stirring shit up, someone who is trying to figure out something else and has ended up here, or actually trans and is suppressing it in a very strange way.

oh yeah for sure, i've always been very much for the mindset that "the majority of non dysphoric trans people are actually either 1. geniunely confused OR 2. actually dysphoric" because only a very small amount of people would do that shit for fun or to be actually malicious. it's less about stopping people from identifying as ftm/mtf to me and more about stopping them from spreading misinformation about trans people. THAT BIT SUCKS and just makes MORE confused people.

i also 100% get the bit about transmeds being too extreme and disliking gnc people, i've always been very picky about who specifically i hang around so i personally haven't had many issues telling transmeds i know / knew that i crossdress?! they don't seem to think it makes me any less of a guy but maybe its just cause i dont fit many "tucute stereotypes"

[ollie-an-fwens]

transmeds are stupid because they think you need dysphoria to be trans, which means essentially, if you get to a point in your transition where you have fully medically transitioned with surgery (which you need according to them) and you are happy with your gender, you actually feel euphoric abd bot dysphoric, abd you don’t get misgendered, apparently that means your not trans anymore because there’s no more gender dysphoria.

[transmeds]

this is such a stupid thought process? that's like saying "oh if you have crooked teeth and get braces then you don't have crooked teeth anymore" like what? 😭 yeah, doing things to solve your problem (mostly) solves it... it's almost like that's the point and what we are saying transitioning is for?! don't do it if you don't need to?! don't get braces if youd into need them?!

[transmeds]

does transmed tumblr still exist. should i come back to you guys?

[roadhogsbigbelly]

i think alot of lgbt discourse online exists because people have forgetton that the reason labels  like “lesbian” “bisexual” or “transgender” exist is because there was large amount of people who had a shared experience that required a community and hence a label. which is why you get community’s like mogai which are obsessed with microlabeling every single lived experience in a way that’s extremely unhelpful in forming communities, examining one’s personal identity or actually how certain groups face real life oppression, and it’s also why you get people who think all labels are stupid and useless and why we should just all just call ourselves “queer” when that’s also unhelpful and reductive and sucks the nuance of sexuality and gender.

[iggykoopa666]

calling every gnc cis person you see an "egg waiting to crack" even as a joke is not cool or funny at all actually it is extremely invasive and weird and you are just reinventing gender roles but making it "progressive"

[iggykoopa666]

is it just me or is this is an extremely weird thing to say about a random stranger based on nothing but a snippet of an eavesdropped conversation

[spacelazarwolf]

last time i made a post abt this i got fucking eviscerated lmao but that’s prob bc i had the audacity to mention how this intersects with race and ethnicity, how y’all LOVE to forcibly feminize east asian and jewish men then ignore centuries of harmful stereotypes you’re playing into.

[bumblebeerror]

Its absolutely a weird and invasive thing to say. Especially because non-binary people can choose to present in mixed ways instead of androgynously. Especially because everyone should be allowed to choose scents, colors, products, patterns, and clothing that they LIKE, without it having to be based on gender. Because masculine people should be allowed to smell like flowers or wear pretty things if they just fucking want to.

[adulthumanproblem-deactivated20]

This is something I noticed a TON on Twitter and fucking hated it.

As soon as a man is the LEAST bit feminine, or what white western society perceives as feminine, he will be called a trans girl. And I obviously don't have anything against trans girls or recognizing yourself in others and shit, but like

You fucking can't destroy gender roles by rigorously enforcing them.

Stop calling every cis man who likes "girly" stuff a woman. Y'all know this is also homophobic as shit, right? Y'aal know that's also MISGENDERING, RIGHT??

Let people like what they like. A guy who likes skirts and nail polish? Cool. Unless HE HIMSELF says otherwise, he's a guy. Stop this shit.

[romantorchdick]

Real people are not your blorbos to project your experiences onto. If you relate to something that a cis person does, that just means that a cis person is relatable to you, which is not, in fact, a bad thing.

[anexperimentallife]

And yeah, the gender discussion is the main thrust here, but also where's that post about how fucked up it is to treat fictional characters like real people and real people like fictional characters

[transmeds]

woman🫵 and a hettie I guess🫵

ur so cute

[transmeds]

gender comforming straight woman🫵

i wish i was woman 😓 i tried very hard 2 be, someone on tumblr telling me 2 be is not changing the fact im not

[transmeds]

why are you an ace exclusionist?

they dont experience same gender attraction

[shrimpmandan]

I mean... neither do trans people. Transhets are very much part of the LGBT community. Why not asexuals?

[transmeds]

sorry they don't experience same gender attraction nor dysphoria*

[transmeds]

why are you an ace exclusionist?

they dont experience same gender attraction

[blurrymango]

"Kids can't be transgender!"

Right and they can't be autistic either. We all know that children don't have brains that's reason they can't have neurological disorders like autism or gender dysphoria.

[shrimpmandan]

I think a better way to put it is kids often don’t realize they’re transgender. When I was 3ish I just thought every girl wanted to have a penis and couldn’t recognize themselves in the mirror, I didn’t have a word for what I was experiencing until my teens. Usually when you see those little-little kids who are ‘transitioning’ they’re being groomed by their parents in some way to be used as a progressive trophy, and I fucking hate the fact that’s ruined the perception of trans kids.

[lifeofcynch]

trans people don’t suddenly become trans at a certain age, like, they were always trans, just like how gay and bi people have always been gay/bi. it’s just more common to really realize it later on. trans kids do exist but i always get a bad feeling when a supposed trans kid is being paraded around on social media or TV… that’s just parents using their children for brownie points, which is very gross and a breach of privacy. even if some of those kids are actually trans, they can’t consent to being outed publicly like that.

[bering-strait-deactivated202005]

Story time: I’m a trans guy. I have an identical twin. We’re both tall, androgynous, and have naturally deep voices

In high school a rumor was spread that one of us was trans. For years, everyone in school had convinced themselves that my twin was “the trans one”. She rolled with it to keep me safe, and said it felt like a compliment to be mistaken for a trans woman since she looked up to a lot of trans women. That didn’t stop the bullying, but it’s easier to deal with when it’s directed at the wrong person. I’m engaged to a feminine cis guy who is several inches shorter than me. I have 20-30lbs on him and I can dead lift him. He’s more delicate and soft both physically and socially. He cries during sad movies, owns half a million stuffed animals, and clings to my arm when he’s nervous or it’s cold out (oh yeah, also he’s adorable) Whenever the topic of being trans comes up, cis people tend to think he’s the one who is trans. Direct all “what do your parents think?” comments onto him. Completely ignore me. Ask him invasive/transphobic questions about his body. Tell him “you pass so well!” through grit teeth. Like with my sister, I get pretty pissed about this, but there’s not much I can do about it. I have had to argue with cis people to establish the fact I’m trans because they don’t believe me & think I’m joking. they’re like “but he’s - no, she’s trans!” and frantically point fingers at my fiance and sister. Because there’s no way an adult cis woman could be taller than 5′9 and choose to be bare-faced, and an adult cis man could love How To Train Your Dragon 2 with a fiery passion, enough to watch it 3 times in the theatre.  Terfs take one look at us and try to convince my sister she’ll never have a uterus or that she’s “appropriating women’s spaces”. Transphobes say my boyfriend will “always be a girl” and call him gendered slurs. They talk over them, block them, and grill them about what genitalia they have online. Completely unknowing that they’re talking to two cisgender people who are gay and gnc. @ young, closeted, scared trans people: any cis person who insists they can somehow “know” your “birth sex” by looking at you because “it’s so obvious!” is full of shit. people come in all shapes and sizes regardless of gender. Not only are they being transphobic, but they’re being homophobic too.

[transmeds]

humans will always be more complex than the boxes we create to try to explain those complexities. other people will experience their gender & sexuality different than you. this is not optional, you are just self-righteous, and assuming you know what's best for other people because of your limited worldview is concern-trolling at best and bigotry with a progressive hat on at worst. hope you get well soon

yup everyone is slightly different that's why it's pointless to try to separate and label each tiny experience instead of accepting that everyone is different and someone can be something without needing 20 labels to justify why they're DIFFERENT from others. they're allowed to just be.

its more complex than the boxes we make, that's why the boxes should be simple things and our individual experiences are unrelated.

hope youbget well soon and realize that making more boxes only makes things more confusing and harder for lgbt people.

[d-parade]

this ^^^.

if humans are so complex, why bother creating labels knowing that each and every individual is unique? it makes it even more fucking confusing.

“ohh man i took a massive shit on this particular day of 22 September 2023. it’s a different experience from most people thus i must have a label to describe this phenomenal occurrence.”

the whole point of labels is that it separates a larger group into distinct smaller groups with very clear differences, which makes understanding of certain things easier.

just accept that society is complex and you are complex and you’ll never be satisfied if you keep hunting for the perfect identity that describes you to a tee.