Hello. My name is Dirk, the face of the Trapezia Pearl System. We are a 22 year old system, and have been openly plural (both online and offline) for a year. This blog primarily focuses on plurality, but may feature discussion about other alterhumanity, queerness, and spirituality.
This is a sideblog of @authoritypearl.
We are transsexual* FtM, genderqueer, with members from all over the gender spectrum and outside of it. Collective pronouns are he/him, xe/xem, and it/its.
*We are not a transmed, if that really needs to be specified. Our transsexuality is not associated with the transmed movement.
We are pro-ship, pro-endo, and have varied opinions on rq and transID discourse. Transandrophobia is a valid axis of oppression. Don’t bother us about any other discourse.
Autistic, deficit of attention, and depressed. Traits of NPD and BPD. Collectively obsessed with Homestuck, half-Homestuck system.
Below the cut you’ll find headmate emojis and gender + pronouns of each. In the future, we plan to link a pronouns.cc and leave it at that.
If you’ve gotten down here, fun fact: In our name, “Trapezia” comes from the word for a star system that is young and unstable. “Pearl” comes from a character we see as plural, Pearl from Steven Universe. We have a fic about that here.
I think syscourse needs a reminder about what the theory of structural dissociation is actually talking about. As most in in the community don't understand it based on the misinformation that has spread widely.
The theory states that as kids we have action systems. These are any action that achieves a goal. I'm hungry how to I get food, I feel unsafe how can I find safety, ect. When trauma occurs repeatedly at a young age these action system can conflict. Commonly things like in order to be safe I must seek out my caregivers and my caregivers are dangerous I must avoid them. When it comes time for these action systems to integrate if they conflict like this they can fail to integrate which is haow you can get disorders like DID, OSDD, P-DID, BPD and C-PTSD.
Now the theory also discusses integrated functioning in detail. Keep in mind fusion is not what is taking place. Even if they don't develop distinctly from each other they still exist separately from each other and switch between each other in day to day functioning whenever there is a new goal or a new action is required to achieve the goal. That's how you get normal experiences like the work and home self or the fight or flight response. These action systems being integrated means it is easier to integrate new memories into a single experience with most not noting any changes as significant or having an effect on their day to day functioning.
Now action systems are also not stagnant. More can develop any time you encounter a situation where your current action systems do not achieve the goal. These new action systems also have the ability not to integrate due to trauma no matter when they form in life. In those with CDDs these may become alters and in those without CDDs this presents as PTSD. If action systems are already integrated when failed integration of action systems occurs the new action system will not develop as a separate consciousness to the main integrated whole simply instead presenting as a flashback.
[image description: glowing blue text floating above tile in an unknown, dark location. It is shown at an angle slightly away from the viewer, and reads, in all uppercase: "You will survive, but you will become someone else." In the bottom right corner is the text: Omar Hussain ./ end description]
love being a fictive but i also kind of hate it. like hey you werent real before. you are now though. and you have to deal with so much bullshit. you can never go back. you may never fully feel like yourself ever again. maybe you wont ever get over it. maybe you dont want to go back. maybe it would be worse but you still want to. maybe anything would be better than this. maybe you deserved it all, just because you said that. everybody knows you. nobody knows you at all. close your eyes. open them and look at photos of the place you were ripped away from. be thankful for the people who are stuck here with you. try not to think about the ones you left behind. and most importantly, do not ever talk about your identity with any degree of seriousness and never refer to yourself as yourself, or else.
sometimes ☝️ being a fictive is like someone has dug up everything on your entire life and youre scared to be who you are because people either already know everything about you or if you tell them even your name they could easily find out. but you also cant just be... someone else. so youre stuck with it forever. and then you stop worrying about it. or try to.
