" who has not asked himself at some time or other: am i a monster or is this what it means to be a person? " | 25 | enby | queer | hey, just another shitty multishipping SU & SPOP blog. sometimes i reblog monsters and poetry too. yall can call me yeen. 18+
Pairing: Catradora
Rating: Explicit
Word Count: 10900
Summary: Porn with Feelings, Pining, Mutual Masturbation, Vaginal Fingering, Fluff and Angst. Catra learns that it isn’t always bad to be a little impulsive, and maybe even vulnerable.
Author’s Note: This was a long time coming and i have nothing to say for that. Anyway, this takes place pre-canon, a little AUish, and the characterizations might be a little rough but, this is my first attempt with these two; its gonna be rough. Anyway enjoy some catradora first time; Porn, But With Feelings. Also yes, everyone sleeps like the dead in this; light sleepers gonna have to suspend some crazy amount of disbelief here P:<
It was late; it was always late when her mind would begin to wander, when Catra’s thoughts would mimic the stretching shadows that lined the hushed dorm. The dark had always been a time for introspection, a moment away from the glaring and revealing light of the world. A moment when those aching faults that lined her skin like stripes and scars alike were allowed their moment free of the blistering truth. A time when blame and every inch of inadequacy would grow silent, tempered by exhaustion and surrender.
But the shadows had never been a respite for her to claim; never offered her the serenity or the guise of peace.
Though, perhaps in this bed she could feel something like safe, something like home.
Catra buried her face deeper into the curve of her limp arm, letting the idle, half-thought-out trail of her fingers press along the cold of the floor as she drew nondescript patterns and letters alike. The only noise that met the gentle scrape of her claws was the soft and rumbling snore to her right, a sound that prompted a twitch from her ear at every inhale. The little space between her and Adora felt immeasurable in that moment; the bottom of this cot her last foothold.
Catra had made a mistake earlier that day, her tongue had been too loose and she had earned the ire and disappointment of her friend; of Adora. Adora who, without hesitation, returned the favour and met her snarl for snarl… met ache for ache. Catra had only realized as she was delivered a scathing reply, that she had dug too deep; that her teasing and goading — even though not always playful — struck a chord. She had wanted to apologize, but between the pang that bloomed between her ribs and the mounting embarrassment delivered by onlookers, Catra couldn’t back down.
So she dug deeper, got louder, got angry . She hurled words she didn’t believe, spit and growled and hissed until Adora looked pink like shame, pink like hurt; pink like wound .
The disconnect between her and Adora remained for the rest of the day. Every touch, every glance, every idle and harmless comment she made met with an impenetrable and humiliating silence. Still Catra’s tongue was too warped to apologize, dry with fear and heavy with guilt.
Pairing: Catradora
Rating: Explicit
Word Count: 10900
Summary: Porn with Feelings, Pining, Mutual Masturbation, Vaginal Fingering, Fluff and Angst. Catra learns that it isn't always bad to be a little impulsive, and maybe even vulnerable.
Author’s Note: This was a long time coming and i have nothing to say for that. Anyway, this takes place pre-canon, a little AUish, and the characterizations might be a little rough but, this is my first attempt with these two; its gonna be rough. Anyway enjoy some catradora first time; Porn, But With Feelings. Also yes, everyone sleeps like the dead in this; light sleepers gonna have to suspend some crazy amount of disbelief here P:<
It was late; it was always late when her mind would begin to wander, when Catra’s thoughts would mimic the stretching shadows that lined the hushed dorm. The dark had always been a time for introspection, a moment away from the glaring and revealing light of the world. A moment when those aching faults that lined her skin like stripes and scars alike were allowed their moment free of the blistering truth. A time when blame and every inch of inadequacy would grow silent, tempered by exhaustion and surrender.
But the shadows had never been a respite for her to claim; never offered her the serenity or the guise of peace.
Though, perhaps in this bed she could feel something like safe, something like home.
Catra buried her face deeper into the curve of her limp arm, letting the idle, half-thought-out trail of her fingers press along the cold of the floor as she drew nondescript patterns and letters alike. The only noise that met the gentle scrape of her claws was the soft and rumbling snore to her right, a sound that prompted a twitch from her ear at every inhale. The little space between her and Adora felt immeasurable in that moment; the bottom of this cot her last foothold.
Catra had made a mistake earlier that day, her tongue had been too loose and she had earned the ire and disappointment of her friend; of Adora. Adora who, without hesitation, returned the favour and met her snarl for snarl… met ache for ache. Catra had only realized as she was delivered a scathing reply, that she had dug too deep; that her teasing and goading — even though not always playful — struck a chord. She had wanted to apologize, but between the pang that bloomed between her ribs and the mounting embarrassment delivered by onlookers, Catra couldn’t back down.
So she dug deeper, got louder, got angry . She hurled words she didn’t believe, spit and growled and hissed until Adora looked pink like shame, pink like hurt; pink like wound .
The disconnect between her and Adora remained for the rest of the day. Every touch, every glance, every idle and harmless comment she made met with an impenetrable and humiliating silence. Still Catra’s tongue was too warped to apologize, dry with fear and heavy with guilt.
Even now in the peace of the night she found her frame taut, sewn with nerves and fright. With weakness . She felt burned out and aching, stinging from rejection as her tail flicked abruptly side to side. She had fought with Adora before, too many times to ever count — and how could she not? How could they not? There was so much, perhaps too much between them. A rivalry forced upon them as whelps, goals and hopes intertwined almost intimately; one could not succeed without the other failing. It made these moments, the time she spent spurned and ignored, hurt even more; made her feel wholly pathetic for how much she wanted — no needed her friend.
Her only friend.
Catra had always been the weaker of the two; the runt, the lesser . It was no surprise how that would always hold true. Catra made the mistake; Catra was the mistake —
And now she was being melodramatic on top of it.
Catra hissed sharply under her breath, let the flick of her nails cut a little deeper as her ears folded back. Her gaze stole free of the dark, mismatched and narrowed eyes landing on the sleeping form of her companion. She wanted nothing more in that moment than to have her back; her voice, her smile, her touch . Impatience - or perhaps it was the lumbering drive of longing - turned her brave. Her hands sunk into the thin mattress of the cot as she moved; as she crawled and stalked further up the length of the bed and conquered the distance forged between them.
The rift she had created.
Catra found herself frozen in the spot next to Adora as her companion’s breathing quirked; as Adora shifted and offered a curious peek over her shoulder from her bared back. They held each other’s gaze, and even in the dark Catra could make out the harsh furrow of Adora’s brows; blue eyes tinged with hurt and sleep at once. Catra’s tongue fumbled under the look. She mumbled, hesitation making her voice rasp an uncertain “ Adora… ” before it petered off into silence.
Her tail grew limp as the seconds passed, the alert pull of her ears melting into a nervous downward curve as she was observed. It was grating — exposing , having those eyes on her.
Catra was a moment away from snarling an embarrassed and impatient what , or maybe fleeing altogether, when finally Adora’s face turned neutral and her whispered voice snapped the tension with the rustle of bedsheets.
“You’re cold?”
The answer seemed obvious; the Fright Zone was a broiling and sweltering existence. It was a sprawling infrastructure of pipes and vents; a beast embedded in factories and forges that hissed steam and fire from the neverending labour. Despite the too easy answer, Catra found herself mute once more as Adora peeled the sheet back; invited her under with a quirk of her brow.
It was a lie, one Catra gave into with an instinctive nod of her head.
“Right… yea. Cold.” The furrow of Catra’s brow was evidence of her confusion but the soft curve of Adora’s mouth was invitation enough — telling too; and Catra had no reason to decline the subtle offer of intimacy. Not with how she had longed for her.
And maybe Adora had missed her in turn?
The question remained unasked and dead on her tongue as she slid under the thin blanket and Adora turned away to fall back asleep. Or so Catra assumed. It suited her fine, she wasn’t sure she would be able to continue with her intentions — with her too helpless desperation for closeness, had those blue eyes remained on her. Even in the absence of them her hands still shook with nerves, fingers twitching with tension that pushed her claws free. It was embarrassing; even more so as her stomach churned and rolled, as the beat of her chest fluttered and hiccuped with the fear of rejection.
But she yearned for Adora, terribly so as pathetic as it was, and she refused let something as simple as feelings stop her.
Catra gave one long pull of air to steady herself before she reached out under the thin sheet, her quaking hand softly coming to a halt on Adora’s side. The rhythmic breathing of her companion stopped at that, proving Adora conscious, but she neither said anything or rejected Catra outright.
So Catra did what she did best; ignored caution and pushed her luck.
Her hand curled further, frame shifting forward to erase the scant distance that lay between them on the too small cot. Still Adora remained quiet, silent even as Catra’s arm wrapped tighter around her; as her clawed fingers twitched against the curve of her stomach. It wasn’t until Catra had settled only an inch away from her back — almost too nervous to breathe — that Adora finally made a noise; whispered with a smile in her low voice.
“You’re a little on the short side to be spooning me, Catra.”
Adora barely had a few inches on Catra, but she brandished them like a weapon; a bludgeon . Better reach, more weight to every swing, that stupid and infuriatingly smug twinkle to her eyes when she would look down at Catra.
And now this .
Catra sputtered without grace, made a noise like a hiss as she finally exhaled sharply through her gritted teeth. Whatever surly and instinctive response that sat on her tongue died a too quick death as she remembered they were supposed to be sleeping and not yelling . Her ears folded back, tail flicking irritably under the blankets with a steady beat as she found herself tongue tied once more. It didn’t help any that her mind seemed occupied with the idea that Adora smelled nice; sweet enough to have her face tinge with pink.
Nerves forced the tension of her hands tight; had her claws sink easily into the fine fabric of Adora’s top as she grumbled incoherent under her breath. Her nails made her following attempt to disentangle herself from the bullheaded asshole she called friend even more difficult. “Wh-... Whatever .” She muttered, stumbling over her own useless tongue.
A quick pull of her hand only managed to snag her nails further as a scowl twisted her lips.
“Having trouble?” Adora chimed with a tilt of her head, the humor of her soft voice not unheard nor the beginnings of that smirk unseen. Catra wished looks could kill as her gaze glared a hole into the back of Adora’s head, embarrassment sparking a flush of heat behind her cheeks.
“Let go of me.” She hissed impatiently as she gave another quick tug to Adora’s top; somehow spitefully refusing to release her.
“You pull any harder and you're going to tear it, Catra.” Came Adora’s amondishing whisper a moment later, pitched with either surprise or the beginning of laughter Catra couldn’t tell. Not as her heart raced and panic demanded she free herself right this instant.
“Just… shut up , I got it.” She didn’t have it as it were, but weighing the cons of being stuck in a limbo of humiliation for the entire night, or Adora losing one singular old and worn top, Catra quickly found herself leaning towards the latter. Adora could always requisition a new one; and she would get one no questions asked.
Before Catra could commit to her half-thought-out plan of destruction and flight, Adora’s hand settled against her own, blanketing it in warmth. The simple gesture had her hesitating — had her frozen.
It was rare that they held hands; intimacy something they only stole from each other in seclusion. They had been warned that the gesture was a sign of weakness as children; that one grabbed wrists, not hands , as a means to assert your control.
“It’s fine,” Adora mumbled a breath later, shoulders shaking with mirth. “ Relax .” Her voice was soft and coaxing as her calloused thumb began to gently roll over the top of Catra’s hand. Catra’s mouth went dry in the silence. Her ears twitched; perked forward to listen to the lulling and steady breathing coming from her friend. She wished she could mimic that calmness, tried in vain to quell the thunder of her chest as Adora’s fingers began to twine in her own.
“I… I am relaxed.” The defensive lie fell from Catra’s lips instinctively, her fingers shifting to better reciprocate the soft gesture of Adora’s hand covering her own.
“ Catra .” The disbelief in her voice was not only audible but tangible as well. Catra’s cheeks fully committed to that telling and bright shade of red, her lips curling into something equal parts nervous and angry.
“Adora.” She hissed back, if only to keep the banter going; to keep her mind occupied as Adora affectionately squeezed her hand. It didn’t work — couldn’t work when she wanted nothing more than for Adora to hold her like this; for Adora to forgive her, to have her back. The thought was all it took for the stubborn draw of her lips to falter; for her wild voice to stumble towards an audience, toward absolution even as surprise filtered through her own blue and gold eyes.
Surprise at herself .
“Look, about earlier…”
“It’s fine, Catra.” Adora’s voice in comparison was patient and steady; her cause altruistic as always. Catra found her face turning sour, the grip on the hand tangled in her own briefly going tight with frustration. It would be too easy for her to allow Adora to cover for her behaviour; to have her actions brushed aside.
But Catra wanted more than that.
Catra wanted to be worthwhile ; she wanted forgiveness —
“No, it's not, Adora.” Catra’s eyes narrowed as she recounted her actions; her words and intentions. Her grip loosened, turned as fragile as the ache in her chest. “What I said today — what I did today was shitty, and unfair and…” She could continue the list; she knew too many words to describe herself and her actions if only thanks to the giving nature of Shadow Weaver; disrespectful , ungrateful , wretched . But there was a line between genuine and self flagellation she dared not cross.
Catra let the tip of her tongue work over her suddenly dry lips, the rough quality of her voice turning gentle; raw . “I’m sorry, for hurting you.”
Silence was what met her for a drawn moment; uncertainty letting her claws prick against the hand tangled in her own as her ears fell. She felt obligated to continue; to fill the silence with more hushed admittances and truths that threatened to devourer her whole, but before she found herself prostrated and naked of truth, Adora finally spoke.
“Thanks… I…” Her sentence spiraled into another uncertain silence. The anticipation of it held Catra hostage, had the grip of her hand tighten until she felt Adora return the unsteady but taut hold. When Adora continued, the simple word that came spilling from her lips only spawned more confusion. “Wow.”
“What?” Catra asked genuinely, her voice pitching even through the whisper.
“I didn’t know you could apologize.”
Frustration sparked to life in Catra’s pounding chest, her brows furrowing low on her face as she shifted closer, higher; tried to get Adora’s attention, to somehow meet that turned gaze as something too earnest and full and meek leaked and poured between her ribs. “ Ador- ”
“Kidding.” The tone she had taken must have gone desperate as Adora was quick to end the temporary tease, to soften in her grip while her thumb brushed gently over Catra’s. When Adora continued a breath later - after Catra had settled once more - her brisk whisper slowed; tumbled and paused with sincerity. “Thanks, I forgive you… I… Of course I forgive you, Catra…”
The words were enough to quell the stabbing pang of Catra’s chest, instead it melted and ached — willfully crumbled into an uninhibited delicateness. Nervousness ruptured her frame with a shiver, had a fang dig at her lip. It was overwhelming, it was frightening, it was —
“We’ve been through a lot together haven’t we?” The unnamed sensation only doubled as Adora let those bittersweet words fall from her lips.
They would always have each other; Adora would always be there for her, but —
“Shouldn’t you be sleeping?” Catra tried to pass the strain of her voice as disinterest, wrestled that bubbling vulnerability under the guise of apathy.
But… what if she wanted more .
“What? You’re allowed to get things off your chest, but I can't?” Adora gave a muffled huff, whisper muddled with something close to defeat. Catra instinctively wished to take it back, but fear of… too many things kept her silenced.
Despite her unresponsiveness Adora pulled Catra’s arm tighter around her waist, gave another reassuring squeeze of their hands and continued unfettered by Catra’s put upon indifference. “I know I’m not the best at talking, or any good with words but… This means a lot to me; this — you …” The earnestness of Adora’s voice had Catra’s heart flutter in the thick of her chest, had the draw of her claws push free once more as Adora’s frame pressed back into her own; as Adora eased herself into Catra’s unsteady embrace fully.
Adora’s thoughts came to a close with one last word; one final declaration.
“ Us .”
If her face was red before Catra didn’t know what ugly shade of embarrassment flickered to life on her cheeks in the wake of this admission. There was so much declared in that simple word; even more left unsaid. She instinctively hid her face in the curve of Adora’s neck, an action that prompted her companion to start briefly. Catra tried not to focus on the strange gasp that fell from Adora’s mouth; or the way she smelt, the way she felt against her lips —
Catra’s heart hammered, powerful and booming; she worried Adora might hear it.
“Yea yea,” Catra mumbled against Adora’s neck, her tone short as she tried to deflect; tried to steel the flutter of hope that nestled between her ribs. “You got my back, and I got yours.”
“Literally, in your case.” Catra met the quip in pointed silence, hoping her disdain could somehow be conveyed through inaction alone. Adora however laughed, quiet but bodily and… Catra couldn’t miss the tinge of hysteria; the fevered pitch of uncertainty as those broad shoulders shook and quaked.
Adora was as nervous — as vulnerable as her, wasn’t she?
It was hard to admit it; sometimes hard to see Adora past the altar Shadow Weaver had chained her to… and the one Catra readily fed into.
The grip on their twined hands tightened before Adora pulled them both higher; let the touch of her lips feather along Catra’s fingers in a ghost of a kiss. It made the unfinished sentence that tumbled from her mouth stand out all the more.
“ Catra, I …”
The words left unsaid filled the oppressive silence that bundled between them; took shelter in the uncertain rasps of their breaths. Time itself seemed to pause in the wake of her voice and Catra felt something akin to weightlessness, something like falling and helpless. The sensation only caused her embrace to tighten, forced their bodies together as her stomach rolled; came alive with butterflies.
Us .
It was more than anxiety that sat heavy in her gut; thicker than uncertainty, more encompassing than fear. It was need . She wanted Adora; she loved Adora and… and Adora wanted her.
But how, what? What did she want from Catra? Did she need it; her ?
Catra’s expression pinched, the low furrow of her brow pressing forward until her face tentatively nuzzled against the back of Adora’s neck; until her lips ghosted along the space where shoulder met neck. Adora’s steady breath faltered at the contact, a drawn and too soft hum bubbling from her throat. The noise had the flutter of Catra’s chest turn into a roar, the heavy pound of her heart echo deafening in her ears. Everything felt warm, molten as she drew her nose along the side of Adora’s neck; breathed heavy her scent.
“ Adora… ”
Her hand slipped free of Adora’s in the next moment, her fingers tense with nerves anew. Any protest at the loss of contact Adora could have made died the moment Catra’s fingers slipped under the edge of her top; the prick of her nails teasing gently over the muscles of Adora’s abdomen. Another hushed gasp met the flick of her ears, kindled the ravenous heat of her gut as Adora’s hand wrapped gently around her wrist. Catra paused her movements then, afraid at once she had ruined the moment. Her voice cracked with trepidation; rolled thick with thirst and want and hunger and —
“Is this… okay?”
Are you okay?
Adora only nodded, sharp and quick, as though not trusting herself to speak. Catra wanted to tease her for it; quip silver and sharp but her own tongue remained tied, overwhelmed at the idea of finally holding — touching Adora. She had imagined this far more times than she could bring herself to admit; and still the sensation of those muscles bunching and quivering under her touch, that chest thundering for her — it was almost too much.
And yet nowhere near enough; not to quell the need that devoured her whole, not to silence her want .
Us .
Catra’s breath came out short and quick, hot as Adora’s neck bloomed into a field of goosebumps; as Adora’s breath hitched into something tight and soft. Adora’s grip on Catra’s wrist turned tighter in the next beat of their fluttering hearts, a desperate grasp for stability as Catra’s hand edged higher and higher; mapped the trail of scars and muscles under the rough pads of her fingers. It all came into focus the moment her fingers brushed over a bruise, the moment Adora’s mouth parted with a whimper; with a whispered plea .
She could imagine that pitch mirrored in her own voice on too many lonely nights.
Catra knew at once what she desired; what Adora ached for.
She wanted nothing more in than moment than to take, she wanted to steal; grab, touch, have , she wanted, she wanted, she wanted —
Catra’s body surged and flushed with warmth, her own breath rumbling into a purr as she traced the tender bruise beneath Adora’s ribs. She was rewarded with another sharp intake of air, another promise bundled in the twitch of those tightly strung muscles. She felt it all in her chest, and then lower —- let her eyes fall shut as she imagined the image Adora painted beneath both sheet and clothes, what wanton shape her face took.
Catra longed to see her come undone, wanted to watch Adora fall apart in her arms; to have Adora trust that Catra would be there to hold her through it.
And she would; a million times over. What Adora wanted Catra would give her; anything — everything . Her foolish heart yearned and ached for nothing more.
Catra’s left hand shifted with intention as she left that tender bruise behind, let her touch graze higher. She forced that loathsome shirt further and further up until her hand met the gentle curve of Adora’s chest. She could feel the pulse of Adora’s heart then, felt her tremble and heave as Catra’s hand fanned over her front; as her nails teased the curve of her breast. Her touch was exploratory; gentle and probing as her fingers circled and ghosted before she cupped the slight weight of Adora’s breast.
“ Wow… ” Catra hadn’t intended to say that but her tongue was too loose, her adoration and awe readily apparent in the hushed whisper that betrayed her thoughts. She flushed a darker shade of red as she felt Adora’s chest flutter, as her ears met the subtle pitch of giggles from her… friend ? Her ears folded back, uncertain. She wasn’t sure what they were; what this was.
Still, Catra was not willing to be outdone, even in these new and strange and wondrous circumstances. She let her digits move with more purpose; had the pads of her fingers flick roughly over the peaks of her breasts, teased the edge of a claw around a stiff nipple.
Rather than be humiliated in turn, Adora only pushed into the rougher handling, arched forward in a way that had her rear grind against Catra’s pelvis. The heated gasp that met her ears was her own this round, her hips instinctively bucking forward to relieve the throbbing pulse that suddenly roared between her thighs. Her chest howled and thundered at the sensation, arousal growing thick like fog in her faltering mind with each roll of her hips. Her right hand reached forward, nestled in the space between Adora’s hip and cot as she gripped tightly into the bared flesh there; roughly squeezed the breast in her other hand.
She wanted nothing more than to be animal — to be passion and instinct, to give into the heat that settled in her abdomen and continue the primal dance of her hips —-
“ Catra… ”
And she would have had Adora not sung her name with such need, with such hunger and pleading. The momentary steady roll of her hips lulled into stillness, a throb of pang settling like ice between her thighs. She ignored it, ignored the cries of her body in favour to those of Adora’s. Her hand was firm, demanding as Catra impatiently pulled Adora’s top further up, tucked it against her collarbones before letting her attention fall back to her breasts.
It was a simple discovery, as Catra’s nail pressed thick into the curve of a breast, that Adora liked it rougher; wanted the sensation of something sharp and firm. Catra was more than happy to give her what she needed, had something of a grin drawing her fangs free as she brought her free hand to join her first. She was rewarding instantly with a soft noise; with a hiss that clawed between Adora’s teeth as she squeezed and tugged; had Adora’s frame twitching and shifting, had those hips rocking mindlessly.
Catra held back a groan of her own, brows furrowing deep on her face as she drew in the brackish scent of her friend , tasted it on her tongue. The action had a fang drawing against the taut pull of Adora’s neck. At once Adora stilled with a whimper, tilted her head in such a way more of her neck was bared to Catra. Her eyes sharpened at the action, her tongue dragging over her lips as her hands lulled with the shift of focus.
It seemed obvious then what Adora wanted, and Catra chest pleaded to hear more of her; any and all of her.
Catra let the heat of her breath fan over Adora’s too sensitive neck, relished in the tight pull of air her companion gave before letting her lips press all too gently along the strained line of muscle before her. “Adora,” she purred against that twitching flesh, ears catching the slight cry Adora gave into. Catra could only smirk, pride and confidence swelling thick in her veins as she teased her tongue along the lobe of Adora’s ear before nipping. The body pressed against her went tight then, the urgent pounding of Adora’s chest finally culminating in a strangled gasp.
“ Catra… ”
Catra was a breath away from repeating her actions once more, from teasing Adora until she snapped and cried bodily; but found herself halted. It became evident in the next moment that Adora had already met her match. An impatient and larger hand settled against her own, twined their fingers before moving them both away and down . Catra’s ears drew back, trepidation once more making its presence known as Adora’s hand pulled her past the swell of abdomen to rest along the band of her sweatpants.
“Needy,” Catra husked against the shell of Adora’s ear, the chords of her own low voice turning rough.
She found her throat turning dry despite her parody at confidence, swallowed thickly past the itch stuck in her throat. Catra was all too aware what Adora needed from her as her thumb tucked against the band of her pants, was all too eager to indulge in those fantasies, but therein lay the problem. Her claws briefly caught against that soft fabric as her hand shifted; nails fully extended as an unwanted addition to her… excitement .
The thought of hurting Adora was enough to give Catra pause; to reign in the wolfish desire that demand she take .
But she could never deny her.
Catra pulled her thumb free of that too tempting waistband. She wanted to whine at the opportunity she had missed, rather she scowled. Frustration washed over her nerves, the firm pressure of her hand growing steady if impatient as she moved lower and lower, slipped between those thighs. Despite the fabric that separated Catra’s hand from her original goal, she could still feel that sultry heat that leaked from Adora’s sex.
The breathy mewl that met her ears the moment her fingers pressed against Adora’s need was reward enough however, and Catra felt her stomach drop; an impossible throb beginning between her own thighs. She flushed with warmth as she rolled her fingers over where she could only guess Adora’s clit lay, biting back a groan as Adora’s thighs tensed around her hand with another roll of those hips.
Resigned as she was to this form of contact, Adora was not.
Catra’s motions came to a halt once more as Adora’s hand gripped hers once more, dragging them both skyward to settle back at the waist of her pants. Anxiety swirled in her veins at once, her tongue peeking out to wet her suddenly dry lips — but this was what Adora wanted of her, what she needed . It was that thought that urged her forward, let her hand finally slip under the band of Adora’s pants.
Where Catra had expected to find another layer of fabric, instead she was greeted with the wirey curl of hair. Surprise flickered through her features, her mind fumbling as she realized there was nothing between them now.
“ C-commando ?” Was all she could mutter as her brain came to a sudden and violent crash.
“It’s comfortable , Catra.”
The earnest quality of her whispered voice was entirely disconnected from what they were doing; painfully frank and ultimately silly. She could imagine the furrow of her brow; the purse of her lips. It was Adora . Catra’s heart bloomed with fondness, fluttered with such adoration she had to bite her tongue to stop the impulsive confession that shook bodily in her.
I love you, Adora. I need you, I want you, I love yo —
Catra didn’t trust words — couldn’t; words were thin and dangerous things. She would mess them up, she would make a fool of herself, she would say it wrong. Her devotion, her passion, her admiration and affection; her love . She didn’t trust words, but she could show Adora. She could paint every word against her body, recite a story that began with a promise .
That new drive was what finally allowed Catra’s fingers to carefully press past those curls until she was met wholly with Adora’s torrid sex. Her chest hammered as the pad of her finger gently teased through the velvety wetness that eagerly awaited her between those twitching thighs. Adora gasped fully this time, uninhibited and loud . It was thrilling, had her breath stick in her throat as her tail curled and flicked with excitement.
This was for her, Adora was like this for her .
Catra’s throat rumbled to life with a purr on her next heated breath, a passionate growl slinking between her fangs as Adora murmured under the careful roll of her fingers. Her touch was slow but purposeful, entirely mindful of her claws while she goaded Adora on with each circle; here was reverence , here was desire . Catra let her lips ghost and press against Adora’s neck, kissing and teasing as she worked skyward; here was ardor , here was devotion . Adora’s breaths came free pitched and crumbled, the grip on her wrist alternating between herculean and limp.
Catra pressed one last lingering kiss to the shell of Adora’s ear. A kiss too soft, too tender, too full ; here was hope . Her hand lowered, settled lightly against Adora’s thundering chest.
And here lay love.
Another flick of her fingers had Adora moaning, the addicting and honeyed noise settling in the ache of her own need. Everything felt entirely too hot under the those thin sheets; Adora’s body, her sex, her voice —
She almost mimicked that noise herself, almost gave into the groan sat heavy upon her chest, but she was reminded of where they were as the noise of a sheet shifting filtered through her fogged brain.
Fear like ice clawed through her veins, her ribs crumbling under its too full weight; the idea of being caught, the punishment for defiling Adora.
Catra held her breath as her hand shifted, claws teasing into the giving and thick muscles of Adora’s thighs and away from that throbbing clit. She flicked her ears backwards to focus on the room behind them, ignoring that too seductive rhythm of breathing and the grip that turned painful around her wrist. She waited a moment and then two in the renewed silence before her attention returned to Adora with a twitch of her ear.
That insidious thought resurfaced once more as her stomach churned; arousal and heat mixing into something aggressive in the lieu of fear. Something possessive.
Catra was defiling Adora.
Catra could make Adora hers.
“ Adora… ” Catra husked and purred, voice low as she panted. Her eyes turned sharp as her lips ghosted along Adora’s neck. Coherence left her in droves, the ache of her chest and the throb of her sex driving her forward; a slave to love, a servant to need . She teased her tongue along the flesh before her, relished in the languid hum that her companion made as her finger rolled over Adora’s clit.
Still, Adora was too loud.
"Shut up…” Catra found herself hissing, something almost hostile — greedy , flicking to life like fire in her voice. Adora was hers alone to hear. “You’re gonna… get us caught.” Another pant had the addictive pull of the acrid and salty scent of her friend . Catra found herself groaning, soft and rasped, as her fingers teased against Adora’s drooling entrance; a noise Adora quickly mirrored in her own drumming chest. Catra didn’t slow this time to amodish Adora, rather she let the roll of her fingers turn skyward; returning to her clit with a firmer pressure.
“Is this… good?” Her voice was husked, but it didn’t hide the uncertainty in her chords as she reached for validation.
“Yes, Catr- ”
“ Shh .” Catra’s hand covered Adora’s mouth before she could finish, effectively silencing her and shifting their bodies impossibly closer. She wanted nothing more to hear all the obscene things Adora could plead for, but staying undetected and uninterrupted was still one of her primary concerns.
Maybe they would do this again, another time, away from everyone; away from here . There would be no need to be quiet, no need to hide the truth. What would they say, what would come tumbling from their lips...
Catra’s reverie was interrupted as Adora’s tongue sloppily rolled against the hand that was covering her mouth. The idyllic fantasy she was enjoying shattered immediately, a jarring sensation rolling her stomach as she was brought back to reality with a frown cutting across her lips. Still, that familiar tinge of fondness ignited between her ribs as Catra hissed an almost playful “ Gross ,” in reply.
There was a long distracted moment where Adora’s hands and her own fought for control of that too loud mouth, before Catra resigned herself — she wouldn’t have been able to hold Adora down even if she tried earnestly.
“ Be quiet ,” she whispered one final time before relenting and redoubling her efforts between Adora’s twitching thighs.
It was hard to stay alert though, and even with her ears pitched behind her Catra’s attention was still absorbed by that turbulent breathing and the slick between her fingers; to the rhythm of their pounding hearts. It didn’t help her any either when Adora started to squirm and shift, pitch her hips and roll her torrid sex eagerly against her hand; the same motion that had Adora’s rear once more grinding against her crotch. Catra’s face flushed with warmth on the next cant of Adora’s pelvis, her own breath coming out heavy.
She wanted to warn Adora to be still, not only because she was humiliating close from that addicting and teasing rut, but also because she still had claws — she also didn’t trust the cot not to let out a loud and very telling creak, but that was decidedly one of her lesser worries at this point.
The protest came out as another useless purr instead, her head starting to swim as Adora’s thighs turned tense; the rhythm they had been lost to turning erratic with each strained draw of air Adora gave into. Just as Catra predicted, the desperate and sharp movements had her claw catch and draw against one of Adora’s thighs, but rather than stop, the the noise that spilled from her lips was entirely sensual; dripping thick and carnal.
Adora’s breath grew laboured, heavy and smothered, more and more noise spilling from between her lips as the grip on Catra’s wrist turned painful. Still she kept her promise as she wrapped her free arm around Adora’s front and held her close.
Catra had dreamed of this moment more times than she could count, and still even fantasies couldn’t hold up to this as Adora finally hit her peak with one last careful twirl of her fingers. Her whole body went tense in that moment, frame arching almost painfully as her mouth hung open in a silent cry. Catra’s eyes grew dark as her gaze trailed that newly bared neck. At once something instinctual, something primal overcame her; had the prick of her fangs beginning to dig into the flesh where neck met shoulder.
Where she bit and marked , Adora.
And then Adora started to shake, twitch and squirm bodily against her: gasp desperately. “Ahh… ahh …” Those dense and built thighs tensed and quivered, hips trembling as over sensitivity stuck its chord against Catra’s too wet fingers.
“Catra…”
It was only when her name met her ears, whined and pleading , did Catra fully realize where her mouth was; and belatedly her hand . She was almost too reluctant to move, but found the strength to still her fingers and loosen her jaw in spite of the insatiable roar that hungered between her ribs. When she finally removed her mouth wholey she could already see the blossom of a bruise against Adora’s fair skin. The sharp tang of copper on her tongue doubled as she let the bristled muscle press against that tender wound, tender enough to pull another sharp gasp from Adora.
Rather than edge and tease her more, Catra let Adora come down from her high; spent those few lumbering minutes feeling the slick that coated her fingers with something like awe.
Us. Us. Us. Us .
The whisper played like a chorus in her head, resounding and demanding enough to deafen the thunder of her chest. It settled over her like a blanket, comforting and warm.
Absorbed as she was, Catra was unprepared for the abrupt movement on Adora’s part. The roar of her chest renewed itself once more as she found herself face to face with her... friend.
Adora’s cheeks were flushed as she dragged her tongue over her bruising lips, no doubt tender from trying to keep herself silent. Whatever her intention was Catra’s eyes followed that easy trail with her eyes, found herself mimicking the motion impulsively until Adora hummed, stole her attention until their gazes locked.
Catra’s heart raced anew as those deep blue eyes sparkled, somehow dark and full at the same time. She suddenly felt vulnerable once more, her gaze slinking into the space between them; trailed down Adora’s form to settle on a bruise and scratch that blossomed along the curve of Adora’s hip. The momentary distraction made the next move all the more overwhelming as Adora pushed her mouth against her own.
Catra felt her eyes go wide, shock pulling her frame entirely taunt and frozen —- stunned. She didn’t dare move, not at first, afraid somehow she would ruin this .
But then Adora was kissing her —- really kissing her. Those bruised lips pressed lightly —- reverently against her own, slowly teased and coaxed until a gasp fell into the space between their mouths. Catra drew back briefly at the sound, at the spark that ignited in her chest ringing as delicate; that sung as yearning . The hesitance that furrowed Catra’s brow only deepened as they panted and heaved, her ears drawing back against the pillow that lie beneath her.
What was this —-
Did it matter?
Catra let her hand reach out in the small space between their faces; her fingers teasing a few strands of pretty blonde hair back into place before gently easing Adora’s jaw into the palm of her hand.
Did it matter what this was so long as she could have it?
Adora erased the distance between their mouths again a moment later, turning the roar of Catra’s chest into something entirely deafening as they met desperately. The claws of her left hand found themselves digging into Adora’s top as Adora slowly took control of the kiss; urged Catra back and shifted forward until she was hovering above her. She only became aware of this as they pulled back once more to take a much needed breath of air; as Catra found herself on her back looking up at Adora, either of those hands framing her face.
The beat of her heart pounded, heat flushing through her whole frame and rekindling the molten need that settled between her thighs.
“I… Ador -”
Catra had no qualms against being interrupted as Adora leaned down again to meet her lips, let her eyes flutter closed as she let the sensation consume her. They had only kissed once, a curiosity as kids but, never anything like this; especially not as Adora’s tongue gently probed at her lips until Catra let her mouth fall open. At once Adora’s tongue was meeting her own, exploratory and fumbling as Catra’s chest grew tight with excitement and heat; as lightning crackled along the length of her spine.
She reached skyward as the kiss deepened, let her hand sink into Adora’s hair until she was tugging that annoying ponytail free. She could feel that golden hair fall around them, but felt helpless to open her eyes as Adora hummed, as those sturdy thighs began to twine with her own —
It stopped as suddenly as it began, Adora breaking away with a hiss as Catra settled back against the pillow with an unwarranted whimper. She blinked her eyes open then, half way through a demand in her mind when she finally saw Adora.
Catra didn’t do smitten, she wasn’t a lovestuck idiot but…
Adora was entirely dishevelled and gorgeous ; that blonde hair curtained around them both, her cheeks pink like soft, pink like warmth; pink like love . She watched as those lips parted as Adora’s tongue eased along them, blue eyes fluttering and so open . Catra’s eyes traced the pretty frame of her face, drew along that sharp jaw, and noticed then as her periphery filled with that mark , why Adora had stopped.
“Why’d you bite me?” There was a wince to Adora’s tone as she let her fingers feather where that bruise had only grown. They came away tipped with red, and Catra felt a little guilty.
“I…” Catra fumbled over the weight of her own tongue, tried to quell the hammering of her chest lest it grow too loud. Her gaze flickered to Adora’s ruffled top. “I don’t know, it was just… a heat of the moment thing-” Her explanation came to a sudden end as Adora’s face shifted into something sly and playful; knowing . Catra’s lips curved into a frown. “Stop looking at me like that.” Adora did no such thing prompting Catra to feel defensive. “Why are you so loud ?” She hissed in return, the curl of her ears wary.
The moment the quip fell from her lips, the blush reignited across her cheeks; the reminder of those noises, the heated gasps and pleading —
“How do you not get caught when you… when you’re… by yourself .” Catra didn’t know how to stop however, continued even as her imagination thwarted her; had the throb of her need thrumming. She was helpless as her mind swam around the idea of Adora’s hand slipping beneath her pants, of her fingers sinking into herself. She wondered how Adora would touch herself; impatient and rough as she had wanted from Catra? Or would she tease herself, edge herself into incoherency?
Distracted as she was, Catra almost missed the moment Adora turned bashful; nervous.
“Oh… I don’t really… do that.”
Bewilderment had Catra’s fantasies crashing around her. “ Wha -”
She was thankfully stopped from finishing that exclamation as Adora’s mouth pressed against hers again; that tongue eagerly pressing into her mouth. Her heart raced faster and faster as the kiss deepened, as they gasped and heaved against each other’s lips, until finally Catra’s tongue was between Adora’s lips. She felt it all in her chest as her tongue slid over teeth and tongue, and then lower; an ache that bubbled into a rumbling purr as their mouths parted with another gasp.
It was Adora who spoke first once more, her eyes trained on Catra’s mouth. “Your tongue is… a little rough…”
“Is that bad?” Catra found herself asking genuinely, some part of her worried Adora would want to stop; would hate it — her .
“No I… No .” Adora’s voice was thick as she mumbled, husked with arousal. Her eyes flickered dark and navy as her attention waned off to the side, cheeks blooming a deep red. Catra’s gut dropped as she realized at once what Adora was implying, the shift of her wet thighs telling.
Would Adora allow that intimacy, would Adora let Catra taste her?
Her musing stalled as Adora’s hands started to explore her frame; mirroring Catra’s earlier path as it sunk under the hem of her tank top.
Catra froze.
It was, overwhelming , as those fingers trailed up the thick trail of fur along the line of her stomach. Catra had dreamed of touching Adora countless times, of having her and loving her but, never had she imagined Adora to touch her back, to kiss her; to want to. Tears threatened to pool in the corner of her eyes, too many emotions warring for control on her face.
Her brief struggles didn’t go unnoticed, Adora’s hand coming to a pause against her ribcage.
“Are you okay, Catra?” The heated look Adora wore was quick to sober up, those blue eyes shining once more with sincerity as her thumb rubbed back and forth against her front soothingly. “Do you… want me to stop?”
Catra’s frustration bubbled and died with a steady breath, her gaze locked on those ever patient blue eyes. She swallowed past the sharp lump stuck in her throat, let her voice rasp. “N-no… please, Adora… I…” Catra’s gaze slunk off as her teeth lined her tongue, dug into it until she tasted copper.
How many times had she started that same sentence, that same confession only to falter; to let the boiling cowardice in her control her.
“It’s okay; I have you.” Was Adora’s earnest reply, her voice steady and low; familiar and supportive. She shifted then, lowered herself off her hand and settled gently atop of Catra. It was a comforting weight; entirely intimate as their chests pressed against each other, thighs twined. Adora bumped her nose playfully against Catra’s, their eyes locked at once. “I promise .”
She sealed the promise with a kiss, chaste and slow as both of their eyes fluttered shut. Catra was given the reigns to lead once more, took control of the languid pace of their lips as her hand sunk into that flowing hair. She could feel Adora reciprocating as she nibbled against Catra’s lower lip, as that hand resumed its path until Adora’s fingers were trailing the curve of her roaring chest.
It didn’t take long before the kisses turned bruising, before their mouths met insatiable and sharp and wanton against each other’s lips; before their bodies began to shift as Adora cupped and toyed with her breasts.
Catra’s hand tugged uselessly at Adora’s loose top when that thigh brushed against her need, a mewl crawling from between her lips as the tension of her chest bloomed with heat. She pulled free of the kiss with a gasp, sparks igniting along her spine as Adora moved again; her thigh brushing and teasing against Catra’s clit. Any restraint she may have had crumbled great and heavy in that moment, her hips impulsively bucking as she rut against Adora’s thigh.
Adora didn’t tease her for it, didn’t even comment, rather she tensed the thick muscle of her thigh so Catra had something firmer to dance against and then pushed their mouths together once more. Catra could only groan against Adora’s mouth, let her claws urgently sink into that fabric.
She felt something sharp trailing down her frame in the next moment, the tease of Adora’s blunt nails coming to a slow halt at the edge of Catra’s boxers.
The rhythm of her hips stumbled and died as Adora broke the kiss, those blue eyes blinking open to look where her hand lay low on Catra’s abdomen. Catra’s gaze followed suit, her chest heaving as she gasped for air. She bit her tongue to silence herself as Adora’s fingers sunk into the thicker fur that trailed up to her navel; and then they slipped lower, teased under the band of her underwear.
Adora paused her exploration then, the only noise settling between them their quick breaths of air and faster hearts. Catra’s attention was split between that hand placed so low on her frame, and Adora’s partially turned head; until those blue eyes were on her again. She met that timid gaze with her own skittish one, watched as Adora bit at her lip. “Can I…?”
This time it was Catra who didn’t trust herself to speak, rather she gave a slow nod — one that tumbled into three much quicker bobs of her head. Adora only seemed to believe her on the fourth, and then she was dragging her eyes away from Catra’s flushing face; looking back toward her shifting hand.
A cry tumbled uninhibited from her lips as Adora’s calloused fingers finally curiously rolled against her sex, but Catra was far too gone to care and Adora thought nothing of quieting the noise; not when she whispered a gasp herself.
“ Oh … you’re so wet , Catra.”
Humiliation and arousal swirled in her veins at Adora’s observation, but any defense she could have come up with was lost as Adora’s fingers continued their tentative exploration of her need.
It became very obvious quickly that Adora was mostly clueless, and painfully truthful in her earlier admission of not masturbating. Still, Catra found herself purring as she watched Adora’s hand shifting beneath her underwear, as those fingers unintentionally teased against her clit as they slinked past and inward and —
“ Ahh …” Catra gasped as a finger slipped down and into her, her thighs going tense for a moment as Adora pushed deeper in a sensation that had her clit throbbing .
Penetration was new, claws made many things difficult. Penetration was new but decidedly good .
Adora didn’t seem satisfied with that, dragged her wet finger free slowly before working two digits back into that tight and slick heat as Catra’s toes curled and another gasp escaped her bubbling chest. She did it again and again, slowly pumping those fingers into Catra and dragging a soft breathless hum free each thrust. The feeling was addictive; had her heart race as she listened to the wet and lewd noise that spawned from her sex as she spread her thighs open further.
It was thrilling to have Adora in her but, not what she needed; not as her clit ached at the seat of her sex, sent shivers of pleasure and pang with each thrust.
Before she could say anything though, Adora dragged her fingers free and had them finally curl over the gentle swell of her need.
Catra threw her head back at the contact, a keening mewl coming from her parted lips. The noise had Adora’s attention readily on her once more, those cheeks flushing a bright red even as her eyes darkened. Catra’s expression quickly mirrored that shade of red, her breath coming out short and fast as she met Adora’s suddenly ravenous gaze.
“ Oh .” Adora mumbled as though she just solved a puzzle, a tongue sliding over her upper lip.
Catra wanted for nothing more in that moment than to call her a dumbass, but couldn’t as the gentle awe scored into Adora’s expression flickered into determination. The breath of air Catra was desperate for caught in her throat as Adora’s fingers twirled easily and lightly around her clit.
The muscles of Catra’s thighs pulled taut, fire building quick and steady low in her gut as a whimper and hiss clawed through her clenched teeth. Adora’s attention stayed fixated on her face the entire experience, something bashful blooming in Catra as she was watched. Her skittishness culminated in her grabbing at Adora’s top once more, dragging her closer so she could shelter her face beneath her chin.
She half thought Adora would pull back to ogle more, drawn as she was, but rather she planted a soothing kiss to one of Catra’s twitching ears and redoubled her effort between her quaking thighs; met her with a new and bubbling intensity.
Adora’s fingers were quick learners, turning deft and skilled as they rolled over her clit; teased her. Another dip of those long fingers had Catra squirming, turning fevered with want and need and so much more. Every breath Catra took turned laborious, her breath coming out hot and heavy against Adora’s neck.
Catra knew she wouldn’t be able to take much, that she would willfully and eagerly crumble under Adora’s simple and passionate touch. It hadn’t helped that she had been so worked up from before, from watching and listening to Adora peak in her arms.
The thought alone sent another thrilling stab of arousal to her sex, a moan bubbling from her mouth and against Adora’s sensitive neck.
Adora’s teasing touch faltered at the sensation, turned clumsy for a moment that felt almost like a lifetime too long. Catra bit her in reply, let her fangs slip against her neck enough to smart but not bruise with a roll of her hips.
“Catra, I can’t focus if you… do that.” Adora voice almost sounded like a whine, her fingers briefly twitching as she wrestled to regain her composure and direction.
Catra for her part completely ignored her — or rather ignored the warning. She liked this discovery, this sensitivity; this secret for her to have and hoard. She let her rough tongue follow the line of a tendon, pressing kiss after kiss along the bob of Adora’s throat as her eyes fluttered closed. She hummed then, let her lips tease as she whispered needy against her. “More pressure, Adora.”
Adora obeyed the command despite the strain of her neck and the twitch of her thighs, had the circle of her fingers go steady on their next turn. Catra gasped into her neck, teased her fangs against the flesh before laying a simple kiss and then two where she could reach. Adora hummed sweetly in return.
“More.” When Catra whispered again her voice came out as rasped, a purr thundering from her throat as she panted heavy. The reward was instant, had Catra biting her tongue as Adora’s touch turned firm as she teased along the hood of her clit.
“This?” Adora’s voice rang with equal parts lust and curiosity, smokey and drawn as her nose nuzzled into the curl of Catra’s hair; her breath tickling Catra’s ear.
“ Yes …” Catra almost sobbed in reply, the desperation in her low set voice pitching as she shook, as her muscles tightened and trembled. She could barely think outside of the eager and urgent touch from Adora; from the molten heat and sparks of excitement that quickly threatened to overwhelm her.
Still Catra needed more, felt gluttonous as the fire thrummed thick from her core.
“Faster.” The command came out as a whine, drawn and entirely craven as Adora did as was asked of her; as the rhythm of those fingers turned almost erratic. Catra let her thighs fall open as far as they could, let Adora have and take all of her as her chest grew tight. Her breath came out in gasps and cries, noise that was muffled against Adora’s marked neck. “A-Adora… faster.” She was begging now, she couldn’t care; not with how close she was, with how her heart raced and thighs trembled.
Her claws tore free of Adora’s front, hands seeking Adora’s back to drag her closer; to feel her wholly as Catra’s kisses along that neck turned sloppy. Claws sunk deeper into the powerful build of Adora’s shoulders, desperation rendering her primal as Catra sucked mark after mark into Adora’s neck, as her teeth pricked and scored wherever they landed.
“C-Catra…” The soft whimper of her name only added to the pressure building deep within her, had her hips twitching and quaking as she rocked against the steady touch on her sex. She felt hot, too hot, scorching and melting as her frame shook and quaked; as her clit throbbed and ached and pulsed after each and every demanding and urging touch —
“Adora, Adora, A-Ador -...”
Everything went white as Adora’s mouth crashed against her own, an explosion of pressure; of the sweetest agony beginning to wrack her tight frame.
And then she was falling, drowning, crashing — it had the curve of her spine arcing, her toes and tail curling as she rut against Adora’s hand bodily. Sobs slipped from her mouth, cries and howls swallowed by Adora’s mouth as she rode out her orgasm, adrenaline and thrill and so much more seizing her frame before the explosion of heat settled into something warm; something soothing as she melted and basked in Adora’s ready embrace.
They remained entwined as Catra trembled, as Catra held onto her as if she was the only thing left in this world.
She only realized she had been crying a long moment later when Adora pulled back to wipe away a stray tear, looking at her with reverence and wonder; intensity . Catra flushed anew at the look, knowing she was mirroring it all but deeper . Still she found herself too spent to humor her embarrassment.
Adora broke their gazes for a moment as she pushed up to peer towards the door to the dorm. At once Catra felt something sharp settle in her throat; vulnerability turning sheltered. Part of her, despite everything, expected Adora to grow bored of her then; to turn and settle back into bed, to leave her altogether.
Instead Adora reached down to pull the sheet back up, met her gaze once more and blushed as her mouth fumbled over a simple request. “Could I… uhh… be the big spoon?”
Vulnerable .
Catra’s eyes sharpened at the action, the frightened and scared ache of her heart turning steel. Adora would never feel the same, would she? This — cuddling — fucking; this was as far as it would go, it made no sense to entertain the notion… did it?
“Going soft on me, Adora?” It was an instinctive jab, muscle memory of feigned apathy; something — anything to brace the nervous rattle of her chest, the twitch of hope that nestled like ivy between her ribs.
Adora couldn’t feel the same.
This was just an itch for her to scratch.
A curiosity.
A payment.
For a moment Adora looked like she would fall for it; Catra could see something crumble in her eyes as her brow settled low on her face, looked ready to jeer in return; to fall back so easily into the roles they were given. She wanted to take it back, but she wished to be selfish; she would rather do wound than ache and hurt any longer.
But just as soon as Adora’s expression turned edges and angles — as she gave into that too familiar hurt , she melted. Catra started as Adora pressed her forehead against her own, her voice meek and turbulent as her hand gentle braced along Catra’s hip.
“Would… that be so bad?” It was still off putting, strange to see Adora vulnerable, to see perfection crumble.
But, maybe that was never a fair assessment to begin with.
She bit down on her tongue again, let her eyes wander elsewhere. Catra wanted to hiss a yes, she wanted to beg for Adora to stop, to let her down easy, to not drag her along for this — she could already feel her heart as it splintered; yearned .
Instead she found herself interrupted one last final time as Adora cradled her jaw. She waited a moment, giving Catra the time to escape if she chose to, before Adora slowly drew their mouths together. Whatever words she had intended to speak, came out only as a rasped hum; one that turned into a purr as Adora deepened the kiss.
Catra was falling all over again, bowing her head to the executioner's block.
But she could pretend, if only for this moment.
She sighed, slow and measured as they broke apart. Adora’s blue eyes shone with fondness and affection, but it did little to hide the almost insufferable smirk that curved those bruised lips.
Catra turned away and onto her side before Adora could commit to whatever sly thing she dared to whisper, effectively ending the conversation and hiding the blush that roared over her cheeks. She waited a drawn moment before letting her tail flick out behind her, feeling it curl loosely around Adora’s wrist.
Adora met it with a gentle tease of her fingers.
Those silent actions were all it took before Adora was settling behind her with a soft and whispered laugh, invitation accepted as she reached around to pull Catra back fully into her embrace. She gave a squeeze then, those sturdy arms tightening in a feeling Catra never wanted to lose.
“It works better this way, see?” Adora was right, but she didn’t need to know that.
Or how right it felt.
Like everything was finally falling into place.
It was overwhelming — new, dependent, weak .
Catra gave an incoherent grumble under her breath as shifted forward a bit, tried to give herself some space; some time to think this over. How far was Catra willing to play, how long would she delude herself?
Adora disagreed with this plan of action, let her arms wrap around tighter as she placed a lingering and tender kiss to Catra’s ear. “It’s okay, Catra; I have you .” She repeated once more with a smile in her whispered voice.
The words only rang as heartfelt.
Catra’s chest ached and pounded in equal measures.
She let herself be held — be vulnerable, counting the seconds between Adora’s breath as she grew languid and heavy with sleep. It wouldn’t be long before her friend would start snoring, but before she did Adora nuzzled forward; planting another easy kiss to the nape of Catra’s neck.
“You have to wake me up early so I can steal — … liberate some… bandages from the Med Ward.” Adora’s voice was already tinged with sleep, lazy and slurred.
“I… What?” Catra’s brows furrowed. She wasn’t exactly one who enjoyed waking up early.
“ You’re claws… And…” Adora continued with a yawn, her voice groggy as she snuggled forward. “ My back…”
Oh… right .
She had done that, hadn’t she?
Before Catra could deny her, Adora had started that too familiar and subdued snore; each breath tickling her ear until it twitched. She sighed once more then, gaze sightless as she finally and willfully melted into Adora’s arms.
Would they get to do, any of this again?
It was obvious Adora cared for her, but Adora had always cared for her.
What Catra yearned for was more than that…
More than caring; more than friendship .
She held her breath for a moment, listening to the deep and rhythmic breathing of her companion, and then she reached out; laced her fingers together with Adora’s larger and unresponsive ones. Adora was dead asleep then, nothing short of the morning alarms would disturb her.
Catra let a fang dig at her lip briefly before deciding to be impulsive.
It was a slow going process as Catra began to unwrap and disentangle herself from Adora’s arms, especially as they seemed prone to twitching back into place. It was a slow going process but eventually Catra had enough space to move and breathe; to leave .
She didn’t take the opportunity. Instead Catra shifted onto her other shoulder, twined their legs together as she nestled beneath Adora’s jaw. Her heart pounded as she pressed her lips greedy and affectionate to Adora’s collarbones and neck, let the trail of her claws tease down the length of Adora’s arm until she was wrapping Adora’s arm back around her. Catra sighed then, once more, letting the nerves of her frame melt as she turned meek against her companion —
Her friend —
Maybe her everything …
“I…” Catra wet her lips, eased her tongue against gentle bruises she found there. “I think I’m in love with you… You… Dumb asshole.”
At once Adora’s snoring turned into silence, that unresponsive arm suddenly wrapping tighter around her frame. Catra’s heart turned still as her ears flicked backward, her whole frame turning frozen as fear slipped ink into her veins. Adora gave her another bodily squeeze however, even as Catra flustered and hissed; made an attempt at disentangling each other to no avail. She stopped when Adora’s hand trailed up the length of her tail, those calloused fingers gently teasing the sensitive end of it.
And then Adora was speaking.
Saying something Catra never thought she would hear in return.
“I think I love you too, Catra .” The grin in her voice was beyond audible, not even a tinge of sleep to her voice as it bubbled with a light chuckle. She had faked it then. “Maybe I’m not as dumb as you think.”
The attempt at humor fell on deaf ears for the umpteenth time this night. Catra flushed bodily as she digested this information, hysteria beginning to dance in her head as the roar of her chest returned.
Adora… loved her?
“Does this mean you’ll get up early with me tomorrow and help patch me up?” Adora asked with that same fond and dumb grin in her voice.
This time Catra laughed.
Boisterous and pitched.
Not bothering to stop even as Kyle’s voice rang out blearily from the dark as he jolted off the top bunk.
Hey yall im Not Very Good At Writing right now for whatever reason(i can name 20 actually) but, im thinkin im gonna open up for those prompt things again to help push my muse along forcibly
So like, send me whatever you want from SU whether it be like a headcanon or like an idea you wanna see me write out or some shippy stuff. SFW or porny whatever u like. Or even ask me about one of my aus. If i end up getting some ill probably use them as warm ups, so my writing style might be a lil different and fast and loose. Unless its a really good idea in which case im fucked and will prob die writing it. I also cant promise i will do everyone of em cuz like, yikes
So yea if u want free writing feel free to reply to this or slide into my askbox (anons allowed). Anyway thanks if u do send me stuff, appreciate the help 👌
Hey yall im Not Very Good At Writing right now for whatever reason(i can name 20 actually) but, im thinkin im gonna open up for those prompt things again to help push my muse along forcibly
So like, send me whatever you want from SU whether it be like a headcanon or like an idea you wanna see me write out or some shippy stuff. SFW or porny whatever u like. Or even ask me about one of my aus. If i end up getting some ill probably use them as warm ups, so my writing style might be a lil different and fast and loose. Unless its a really good idea in which case im fucked and will prob die writing it. I also cant promise i will do everyone of em cuz like, yikes
So yea if u want free writing feel free to reply to this or slide into my askbox (anons allowed). Anyway thanks if u do send me stuff, appreciate the help 👌
peridot: after a long and well-paced arc, she grows from a snarky antagonist to a hero who decides to become a crystal gem and finally tells her diamond off in "message received" in one of the best moments of payoff in the show. jasper: wakes up from 2-year coma, immediately decides to be bffs with the crystal gems for no real reason, has no arc, and no reaction to the news of pink diamond. and you're honestly happy with this?
kinda wild of you to judge a single moment of “guess i don’t have a choice but to be in their presence right now” on the same level as an entire reform arc, but ok.
what happened isn’t that. jasper didn’t decide to be BFFs with the crystal gems - amethyst reached out to her, but jasper wasn’t happy about the situation. she’s observant enough to understand that something is going on that calmed yellow diamond down - who, yknow, she’s not allowed to question - but the scene makes it crystal clear how confused and embarrassed she is by having to attend what’s basically a forced playdate because mom wants you to act nice.
if you wanted to make a comparison, why not contrast it to “catch and release”? it’s really optimal for that, because that’s basically the exact same narrative beat jasper is hitting right now - “i guess i can’t fight the crystal gems to get out of this, so i’ll have to begrudgingly co-exist with them”.
that’s where jasper is now. these scenes have almost narratively identical vibes of “hostility melting into a reluctant willingness to listen due to A) inability to fight, and B) someone reaching out in a moment of distress”. even the shots and expressions are similar.
jasper is nowhere near “message received”. and yeah, that’s a good thing. her character demands a slower arc, and i hope she gets it. i don’t see why you’ve already decided she won’t.
saying her story is done is just… silly. i’ve seen folks try to extrapolate that amethyst somehow communicated what happened to pink in those two seconds they interacted, but that’s just not true. she says “hey sis”, as was later confirmed by the writers, and that leaves it completely ambiguous whether they told jasper right afterwards, or whether that’s a scene we’ll get to enjoy later.
in any case, that’s not why she sinks down. it’s because she realized the diamonds were fine with this - which means she has to be. it’s not up to her.
do i want a scene of her being told about pink? absolutely. but i won’t die if the next time we see her, she’s already in the process of coping with this knowledge, and that gives us the information to understand how she reacted. either is fine - because what really matters is how she copes, and whether that leads her on a path of existential horror, or to closure she never thought possible.
“jasper hasn’t had a redemption arc until she apologizes to everyone and makes up for what she did!”
agreed in theory, but in practice that would mean lapis hasn’t had a redemption arc either, since she has yet to apologize for breaking greg’s leg, almost drowning steven and connie, trapping jasper in a fusion so she could control someone, stealing the barn from peridot, and “spying” on everyone from the moon. (the first 2 things were even brought up by greg and connie and she dodged the topic, a guilt spiral isn’t an apology even if she knows what she did to jasper (and peridot) was wrong, and steven was noticably creeped out by her “spying” until she made it all about how calling it spying makes her feel bad).
and she still got to heal, grow as a person, and have friends regardless of whether or not she actually “redeemed” herself.
so like, it’d be pretty weird at this point if jasper was the only one who needed to earn forgiveness and have an actual “redemption arc” in order to become a better person.
though ideally I would prefer if lapis’s newfound courage actually extended to her relationships and she learns how to apologize and comes up with healthier ways of dealing with people so both of them can actually “redeem” themselves.
but otherwise? I am totally on board for everyone to support jasper and her doing fuck all to “earn” it except do the bare minimum of recognizing that homeworld koolaid is actually poison, and learn coping mechanisms to deal with her insecurities and trauma that doesn’t involve treating people like garbage.
jasper isn’t in this special class of antagonists that is any worse than peridot or lapis, so either all of them get a proper “redemption” where they apologize and better themselves, or all of them skate by with the healing power of forgiveness and unconditional love. otherwise it’s just kinda weird.