Crack fic idea: one of Illario’s one night stands that he doesn't even really remember just leave their baby at his doorstep nine months later. He does consider getting rid of it but he just can't do it. Caterina is less than impressed, Lucanis is no help at all and Illario is sleep deprived but also finding that babies attract women xD
tags via @travellingwiththedead
Now, that's a very interesting idea!
Let's be real, there's no way Illario doesn't have a bastard or five floating around Thedas, with how he specialises in seduction and also compensates for his lack of familiar affection with multiple shallow flings- Anyway! He could have a kid somewhere! And it wouldn't be completely implausible for the other parent to track him down if they have better memory for names than he does.
So a baby!
That Illario has no ideas what to do with or how to take care of, but he knows one thing. If Caterina would do it or would approve of it, it's probably a Very Bad Idea to do that.
His parenting trick is asking "what would Caterina do?" and then do the opposite xD perfect. And yeah, no idea what they have for birth control in Thedas but he's definitely got some kids he doesn't know about.
Other ex-flings of his catch wind of this and suddenly he has five children under the age of five xD he'll need more than one nanny. Also the older ones miss their mothers and are rather suspicious of this alleged "father" their mothers left them with.
