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d e v o n
wallacepolsom
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
izzy's playlists!
PR's Tumblrdome
Discoholic 🪩
trying on a metaphor
oozey mess
Product Placement
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
Today's Document
cherry valley forever
Andulka
Three Goblin Art
Sade Olutola
if i look back, i am lost
tumblr dot com
Kiana Khansmith
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from Brazil
seen from Indonesia
seen from United Arab Emirates
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from Brazil
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@treasureroftomes-blog
I can't believe it's already 2017
Guys I’m crying omg I was drunk please stop reblogging this
They want it to stop…..we reblog it to the extreme
No no no lol please don’t
Forever reblog until 2017
O my god no
i cant stop laughing
until 2017
only 3 more years.
I already added this to my queue, I don’t even know if i’ll still be on tumblr then
adding to queue, 2015
her baby sister ran away with her phone recording
the chaos
Baby Blair witch project
born to do it for the vine
born too late
THIS IT. THE TIENST YELLLER PEEPER. SIZE OF A GRAP. PLEASE HANDLE A GENTLE. ALLOW THE SMALL YELL. SO GRAND.
Oh my god it’s tiny little peeps qwq
In reality this is how tiny Popcorn actually is.
SMOL BABI
AHHHHHHHH.
perfect
wholesome
I did not realize how very perfect cats were at delivering Shakespeare’s insults until now.
@fialleril
not a lot of people really understand how difficult it can be to process and respond to information with autism and/or ADHD
i get confused easily. i do things wrong. i forget how to do things i’ve already done before. i do things in weird, inefficient ways.
please try not to get frustrated with me when i move through a process slowly or clumsily, and most of all, please don’t yell at me. in these moments, i could use nothing more than patience and gentleness.
Have another one
solid collection
is this Dark Water?
This is a Jack Handey quote, actually. People talk about certain writers shitposting before shitposting was a thing, but Jack Handey practically invented shitposting. He wrote these short nonsense one liners and they published them in the National Lampoon and played them on SNL in the 90s. There’s a shit ton of them and they all sound like shitposts. Here’s just a few:
“I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don’t just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.”
“Contrary to what most people say, the most dangerous animal in the world is not the lion or the tiger or even the elephant. It’s a shark riding on an elephant’s back, just trampling and eating everything they see.”
“To me, it’s always a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, “Hey, can you give me a hand?,” you can say, “Sorry, got these sacks.“”
“If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I’d say Flippy, wouldn’t you? You’d be wrong, though. It’s Hambone.”
“I think a good novel would be where a bunch of men on a ship are looking for a whale. They look and look, but you know what? They never find him. And you know why they never find him? It doesn’t say. The book leaves it up to you, the reader, to decide. Then, at the very end, there’s a page you can lick and it tastes like Kool-Aid.”
“If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.”
“If you’re an ant, and you’re walking along across the top of a cup of pudding, you probably have no idea that the only thing between you and disaster is the strength of that pudding skin”
“I wish I lived on a planet that had two suns—regular sun and “rogue” sun. That way, when somebody asked me what time it was, I’d say, “Regular time?” And they’d say, “Yeah.” And I’d say, “Sorry, all I have is rogue time.” It’d be fun to be a stuck-up rogue-time guy.”
“If you’re a cowboy, and you’re dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was reading a magazine.”
“I hope some animal never bores a hole in my head and lays its eggs in my brain, because later you might think you’re having a good idea but it’s just eggs hatching.”
“If your friend is already dead, and being eaten by vultures, I think it’s okay to feed some bits of your friend to one of the vultures, to teach him to do some tricks. But ONLY if you’re serious about adopting the vulture.”
“If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you’ll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.”
“We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can’t scoff at them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me.”
My fave “Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey” quote:
“I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children’s children, because I don’t think children should be having sex.”
phenomenal
help me im so in love
he is up to something
HHHHHHHOHMYGOSHEEEE
so many priceless faces
this lady my favorite
Showing off a hummingbird’s iridescent head
rotate the boy
ggGOD I love HummingBirds
When I came out to my mom she forgot literally the next day
what a bouncy boy
😂😂 the Shakira one gets me every time
yehehe
thanks Obama
reblog between now and jan 20th 2017 to thank Obama
(expired reblogs still count)
I know we all mockingly said “Thanks Obama” whenever bad shit happened too but for real, thanks Obama.
we love you Obama. never forget 💜
exhausting
this girl is woke
