To Sail Beyond the Sunset ft. Sidney Crosby | Chapter 2
gif credit @/hannovers
A/N: As always, I can't wait for you guys to read this chapter. I know it's very early on but I would love to know what you guys think of the flashback scenes! TW: parental emotional abuse
“Alright my lovely ladies, are we ready to dance?” June asked as she stepped into the studio she worked out of for the past five years, smiling at all her students lined up and stretching on the barre just as they always did when they came in. Their pink tights, dance dresses, and pointe shoes brought back so many memories for her every time she stepped in the room.
“Yes Miss June!” they sung out in unison, taking their usual places in the classroom and assuming first position.
June smiled at them warmly. While there were only eight girls, they were a great bunch. June had been teaching all of them since they were pre-teens. They’d essentially grown up with her, and she cared about them on more than just a ballet level. “How was your week, girls? Anything exciting happen?”
“I aced my last chemistry test before our exam,” Franny Louton said.
“Good for you, Franny!”
“And I got a 90 on my English essay, Miss June! The one I was so worried about!” Isabella Bouchard was giddy just speaking about it.
“I told you you’d ace it!” June smiled. She waited a moment to see if anyone had anything else to say. “How are we feeling, girls? Are we good? Is there anything bothering us? Not just physically – anything I should know before we begin?”
June asked these questions because she wished someone had asked her these questions when she was taking ballet classes growing up. Nobody had ever really cared. Not her instructors and definitely not her mother. It was all about dancing and perfecting technique instead of mental and physical health. She wanted the girls (and their parents) to know she wasn’t going to be that type of teacher – that she couldn’t be that type of teacher. It definitely made for a healthier environment, and an environment where the girls actually wanted to come to ballet class. And with these girls – the cream of the crop – it meant more opportunities for them, more auditions and performances. In fact, almost all of them had already been to auditions or sent tapes for various ballet companies around Canada, and they were all anxious to hear back.
“We’re all just anxious to hear back from the companies, Miss June,” Anna Fitzgerald said. “Have you heard anything?”
June shook her head. “I haven’t, girls, but be patient,” she encouraged them. “It’s going to take a few weeks, especially those of you who auditioned with the National Ballet. You were very lucky to get those invitations to audition, anyway.”
“Cause it’s not like you were the best principal dancer they ever had, and now we’re learning from you,” Franny commented with a cheeky smile. “I’m confident in us, ladies!”
June couldn’t help but giggle. “That’s the spirit! Now let’s begin, girls. Aaaaaaaand tendu…tendu…tendu…first arabesque…”
***
Sidney woke up that morning and went straight to a training session with Andy O’Brien. It was gruelling, but it always was – nothing he didn’t expect. And because Nate was still in the playoffs with Colorado, he was alone, which meant Sid only had to deal with his own ultra-competitive nature, and not Nate’s too. Colorado was playing a game tonight though, so he’d still “see” Nate, maybe even get a phone call from him, depending on the outcome, while he did whatever he thought to do tonight. Sid thought about inviting June over and grabbing some takeout before heading to his house. Now that it was the summer, he wanted to spend as much time with her as possible – as much as his workouts, media commitments, interviews, commercial filming, and training allowed. He also had to keep reminding himself that June couldn’t just drop everything and be with him at his beck and call, either. She had her own commitments – studio time, paperwork, auditions, correspondences, and other important things to do with her work.
During the half way point in the workout, Sid and Andy took a hydration break. Sid sat on one of the benches and drank half of his water bottle in one go, with Andy wiping the sweat off his brow as if he was the one doing all the work. “What are you up to the rest of the day?” Andy asked.
Sidney shrugged. “Lunch. Wash up. Probably go surprise June and her ballet class.”
Andy couldn’t help but smile at the mention of June. It took longer than usual, he thought. “When’re you gonna make an honest woman out of her and marry her?” he demanded.
“What?!” Sid exclaimed. “Andy, come on.”
“You know I’m right,” Andy shook his head, chuckling at Sid’s reaction. “You’ve known each other since you were kids. She’s a beautiful girl, Sid. You know everything about one another, she’s always been there, you guys spend all your time together, she’s the only other person who’s as competitive as you are and who knows what it’s like to be at the level you are…Sid, I’m telling you – you’re in love with that girl and you don’t even know it.”
“She’s my best friend, Andy. It’s not like that at all,” Sidney bit his bottom lip. Andy’s words made him think about how others perceived them. Did everybody think this way about them? Was it only Andy? His teammates had said some things to him before, but he thought they were all in good fun – it was just ribbing him…right?
“I think it is like that and you’re just too stupid to realize,” Andy said, giving Sid a look. “Anyways, break’s over. Let’s go.”
***
“Relevé…wait for the cue…aaaand one-two-three-one-two-three-one-two-three-aaaaand-one-two-three…good ladies!-two-three-one-two-three-pirouette and hold! Good! And one-two-three-one-two-three-and-one-two…girls…girls why are we giggling? What’s so funny? Girls, I—”
“Behind you, Miss June!”
June whipped her head to look behind her. She saw Sidney in the doorway, a giant goofy smile on his face, dressed in jeans and a zip pullover sweater. “Oh, you’re here!”
“Hi Mr. Crosby!” the girls all said in unison. They knew that Miss June and Sidney Crosby were best friends – June told them early so it didn’t come as a surprise if he did something like this, dropping into their classes unannounced. He’d done this at least once a summer since they’d been her students, and every time he did, they giggled like schoolgirls. Sidney would end up staying and watching the end of their practice, and afterwards he’d take pictures and sign autographs if they wanted it. The girls’ brothers were always extremely jealous – June would often see them the next day in the car with the parents during drop-off, which was hilarious.
“Hi girls,” he said, nodding at them as he stepped into the room carefully, knowing he wasn’t allowed far with his shoes on. He noticed June walking towards him. “Hey Junebug.”
“Take off yo—”
“—Take off my shoes, I know,” he said, slipping out of them and pushing them away from the doorway so no-one would trip on them. “Can I watch the end of class?”
“Yeah of course,” she nodded, smiling slightly. “God, their brothers are going to be so jealous again when they get wind of this.” June turned around to address her class, who still had some giggles and smiles left in them as they watched June and Sid whisper with each other. “Would you girls like to show Sid what we’ve been working on?”
“Can we show him our Swan Lake numbers instead?” Claire Dempsey asked.
June checked her watch. Though it was cutting it close, she could indulge them with five or ten extra minutes of her time. “Well, alright. I think Sid will be very impressed.”
Sidney remembered Swan Lake. He remembered Swan Lake because at one point in her life, it was all June could talk about. He even remembered the music – well, the more popular pieces – and how much June would practice. But June’s girls now were so much different than she was at their age. They were so much more well-adjusted, and that had to be 50% their parents not being as bad as Miss Hockley, and 50% June’s teaching and mentoring methods. Having gone through hell and back, Sid knew that June wanted better for these girls, and she’d told him as much when she got into teaching. She didn’t want history to repeat itself with any of them.
While June loved ballet, and was ultracompetitive just like Sidney was with being the best, there were definitely times it turned more into a love/hate relationship. Another reason why they understood each other so well was because of their similar experiences. Growing up and getting a lot of attention in hockey, there was bound to be negative attention too – from parents, kids, teammates, and various other people. There were times where Sidney felt like everything was completely out of his control. He didn’t understand, especially as a kid, why some people were so angry with him, why so many people wished him ill, complained about him, told their kids to target him on the ice. It was the same for June. Some of the girls could be vicious, and they were vicious because they knew they could never be at her level. They resorted to mental tactics to try to tear her down.
But nobody was as bad as Miss Hockley herself.
June had a tough time with her mom while developing as a ballet dancer. Miss Hockley always expected excellence from June, and when she didn’t get it, she’d get disappointed or mad – and she definitely let June know about it. When Sidney lost a game in hockey, he’d be more disappointed than his parents. They’d talk to him in the car and tell him it was okay and that they were still proud of him, and all would be well. If June placed second in a competition or fell out of a turn, June would never hear the end of it from Miss Hockley.
1996.
Sidney didn’t know why Miss Hockley was so upset. She kept shaking her head as she sat in her seat, muttering to herself words that he couldn’t quite make out. She sat down the row, and it was hard to see in the dim lighting since all the light was focused on the stage, but he could tell she was angry. June had just performed her dance, and she was amazing. Even Trina thought so. Miss Hockley didn’t.
When all the dancers in the age group were done, the lights turned on and everybody started to get up. Trina got up from her seat and held out her hand for Sidney. “C’mon, we can go backstage now and see June.”
Sid jumped up and held his mom’s hand. He was thankful that the dance competition just happened to be at the local high school, which meant that he could go. But the school was much bigger than his own elementary school, so he was a bit spooked. “Is Miss Hockley going to come, too?”
“Of course she will,” Trina said, eyeing down the row, only to see Miss Hockley almost already out of the auditorium and on her way to the classrooms, which were being used as dressing rooms. “Miss Hockley will talk to June first and then we can go in, okay?”
Sidney nodded, and they made their way through the crowd. There were girls everywhere in sparkly, fancy costumes; they were dressed up as princesses or sailors or even baseball players. Some of them even had lots of makeup on, so much that even Sidney could tell. Sidney saw that June’s lips were red on stage, which meant she was wearing lipstick. He wondered what it would look like up close.
As he and his mom approached the classroom, even amongst all the chatter outside, Sidney could hear yelling. Yelling from Miss Hockley. “You turned out of all your turns!!! ALL OF THEM!!! How are you so stupid, Juniper?!”
“I d-d-didn’t mean—”
“How often did we practice?! How often?! And then you go out on stage and you perform like an amateur!!! You made yourself look like an idiot!!!”
“B-b-but mommy—”
“I don’t want to hear your stupid excuses, Juniper. And you can cry all you want – you’re not getting any sympathy from me. You don’t even deserve to place. I want to hear nothing from you on the way home, do you understand me?! Not a word. You’re an embarrassment.”
Sidney and his mom were waiting against the wall outside the classroom, hearing every word. Trina was standing behind him and had placed her hands over his chest, hugging him to her. They watched silently as Miss Hockley burst through the door, marching off in the opposite direction, not even seeing them. He could feel his mom take a deep breath before she bent down to be at eye-level with him. “I think you should go in first,” she said, her voice so much more soothing than Miss Hockley’s. “I think June will appreciate that very much. You can tell her how much you loved her dance.”
Sidney nodded, and his mom let go of him so he could go inside. He closed the door behind him. He looked around the classroom to see June curled up in one of the chairs, knees to her chest, sobbing. “Hi Junebug,” he said, loud enough that she could hear over her tears.
June raised her head slightly to see Sidney. Her makeup was running down her face, and her red lipstick was smudged. “Hi S-S-Sid,” she managed to say through a sob, trying to wipe away her tears but only smearing her makeup more.
“Are you okay?” he asked, even though he knew she wasn’t. He didn’t want her to know he’d heard everything her mom said. June shook her head, trying to compose herself and keep in her sobs. “You looked beautiful out there…” he tried to say.
June’s face scrunched up, and no matter how hard she tried to hold it in, she let out another sob. “No I didn’t,” she huffed out, tears streaming down her face.
“Yes you did!” he said. “I thought you looked beautiful. And your dance was amazing!”
She shook her head. “I f-fell out of all my t-t-turns. It was so bad. I’m not going t-to place and now my m-m-mom is mad and I…I…I just ruined everything!”
Sidney realized he couldn’t say any encouraging words that would get through to her. Nothing he could say would make a difference. But then he remembered a saying his dad always said to him, about bullies on the ice. “Actions speak louder than words.” It meant that his skills and what he did on the ice would always speak louder than any names other kids would call him to try and get in his head. Sidney knew that he was only nine years old, but he knew that it could be applied in this situation, too.
So Sidney did the only thing he could think of: he wrapped his arms around June and hugged her tight. She wrapped her arms around him too, hugging him just as tight, and she cried and cried and cried.
“Okay girls, let’s set up for the Dance of the Cygnets,” June announced as Claire, Franny, Zoë, and Malika stepped forward, joining hands and assuming position. When June started the music, the girls began moving, dancing in almost perfect sync with each other. Sidney remembered this dance – it was one of the dances a pre-teen June knew how to do as a teenager. She’d perfected it in no time, and her teacher had pressured the other girls June was paired with to be up to her standard. None of the other girls could reach it; they found it impossible.
1998.
“Sidney! June’s here!” Sidney heard Troy call out from the front door as he was reading in his room. If it was any of his other friends, he would have heard their loud footsteps making their way through his house and towards his room. But this was June, and she was a ballerina in every sense of the word – she moved like one everywhere she went, which meant there were no loud footsteps. She practically floated. It was only when he heard his bedroom door open that he realized she had moved through the house.
“Hey Junebug,” he said, setting down his book spine-up so he didn’t lose his page. He noticed she brought her dance bag with her, flung down beside his door before she closed it (Sidney’s parents allowed the door to be closed only with June because, well, it was June), which meant that she had just come from class and Miss Hockley was probably going in for a shift at work at the supermarket.
“Hey,” she said, looking away from him.
“How was dance?”
She shrugged her shoulders in response. “What’re you reading? Is that for our book report?”
Sidney tried to get a good look at her, and when he did, he saw something that he always hated to see. “Why’re your eyes red?” he asked. “Were you crying?”
She was caught. There was no use hiding it anymore. June could only nod. “Yeah, I was. Just a bit.”
“Why were you crying?”
“I got yelled at a lot today because my pirouettes were horrible,” she informed him.
Sidney’s eyebrows furrowed. That was the stupidest thing he’d ever heard, considering what he knew about June and her dancing ability. “Didn’t you tell me you’re the only one in your class who can even go up en pointe?”
“Yeah.”
“Well then why would they be mad? How could they even be mad if you’re the only one that can do them?”
June couldn’t help but smile slightly at his tone of voice, even letting out a slight chuckle at how incredulous he sounded. “Because I was doing them perfectly just yesterday. And now all of the sudden I can’t do them. I’m not doing the dance bad on purpose, I swear. I just—I need to be more consistent.”
Sidney wanted to roll his eyes. That was Miss Hockley or her teacher talking, not June. June was one of the most consistent people he knew – like him. “Well I bet they were great,” he said, ending the conversation so he didn’t upset her even more. “What book are you reading for the book report?”
“It’s this new book I found at the library. It’s called Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone. Have you heard of it?”
Sidney was clapping loudly, another giant, dumb grin on his face at what he just saw. “Wow girls, that was impressive!” he exclaimed. “You guys were so in sync!”
“You’ve seen Miss June dance when she was our age, Mr. Crosby. Are we as good?” Zoë asked as a joke, already knowing the answer.
“Aaaaalright alright alright,” June cut them off, laughing along with them. “Don’t put him on the spot like that. Now go change girls, I’m sure your parents are waiting outside.”
“Will Sid—”
“—Yeeesss, Sidney will take pictures and sign autographs for you outside,” June said, placating them. The girls were antsy as they scurried away to the dressing room, leaving Sidney and June alone in the studio. “They all have massive crushes on you,” she told him, if only to get him riled up.
“Oh geeze,” Sidney blushed, shaking his head. “Don’t say that. I’ve known them since they were, like, twelve.”
“That’s exactly why. You always visit.”
He shook his head, his smile still on his face. “Wanna get takeout and watch Netflix tonight?” he asked. “You pick the food.”
June frowned. “I wish I could,” she began, “but I have to work late.”
“Work late? Really?”
June nodded. “Some of the girls are actually coming back tonight for some extra sessions. They all just had their auditions so they want to fine-tune everything, you know…”
June had never stayed late at work before. She was always done by a specific time. Part of him was suspicious, because it was so out of character for her to stay so late at the studio, even if the girls asked for extra lessons. But he guessed the reason was plausible enough – the girls did just have their big auditions for various ballet companies. “Well, okay then,” he nodded.
“You’ll have to choose the food on your own,” she joked.
“Well, if it’s not too late, feel free to come by,” he offered. “I’m sure I’ll have leftovers. You know me and how I order.”
“It will be late, and you know how I don’t like to drive in the dark,” she said. She could see disappointment in his face, and she was disappointed, too. But what she had to do had to be done. “We can meet tomorrow for lunch if you’re not with Andy,” she offered.
“Yeah, for sure,” Sidney nodded, looking down at the ground to find his shoes. “I better get out there. They’re probably waiting.”
As he signed autographs and took pictures with all the girls, hearing chorus after chorus of how this would make their brothers soooooo jealous, Sidney kept thinking about his reaction in the studio. Why was he so suspicious of June? She told him she had work to do and she was going to do it – she wasn’t going to skirt out on a responsibility. He had to accept that, and he did. But why was his first feeling suspicion? She’d never lied to him before, and he had no reason to not believe her.
June eventually came out and had an amused look on her face, as she always did when watching the girls interact with Sid. He watched as she stepped away behind her desk at one point, typing vigorously into her phone. When the last of the girls left, he watched as she scrolled and typed, scrolled and typed. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Junebug,” he said softly, not wanting to startle her too bad since she seemed so concentrated.
When she heard his voice, she gave him her complete and undivided attention. “For sure,” she nodded. “I’ll call you. Don’t order too much food.”
“I can’t make any promises.”
