Trying to Live

Twenty-seven. Former athlete. Doing things to try to live. I once did a triathlon and didn't die. I'm registered for a half-marathon and hoping to fall in love with running.

[tri-ingtolive]

I ran two days in a row.

And took yesterday off for a 10 hr day at work. But I will run again today. And that's exciting and awful. Why did I sign up for a half? Sunday: 3.15 Monday:3.07 Tuesday: rest Today: TBD

[tri-ingtolive]

It's been a long week. A goddamn, long week. I ate a lot of ice cream this week. I tested some beds. Bought a new mattress. Worked less than normal but cried at work once. Lost my shit about random things. Hiked a state park. Stood at the top of a waterfall. Made friends with moths. Got a new mattress delivered. Ran a little. Celebrated a 4th birthday. Played with slo-mo. I have a bag packed for the gym tomorrow. I'm going to try to be better. To run more. To not lose my shoulders.

[learningthingsisfun]

[tri-ingtolive]

Oh goodness, I failed so hard at blogging. I told y'all I was gonna run four miles today, and even if it's not considered "running" at this pace by some, I'm quite proud. I was not properly fueled or hydrated for this run. Between the pizza and donuts and beers this weekend and seven hours of work this morning, I didn't hit a groove until 2.5 miles in. When I thought, "I could run forever" and decided to pick up my pace. I think each mile was a negative split, so that's positive. Why are there hills in real terrain? And why is my town red in a blue state? I passed more than one of the Trump posters. But I only passed one purple pig. Also almost stepped on a dead frog. But the sun set was pretty. And it makes me feel good that I did this.

[tri-ingtolive]

If you can't tell, weekends are a bit rough. Four miles slotted for tomorrow.

[tri-ingtolive]

Yesterday was HOT. So I ran 2.5 miles because I didn't bring water because poor planning is poor planning. But I didn't want to run. I wanted to lay on the couch with my cats and my Lady and I got up and laced up and went. I'm a little tanner and much happier when I do these things. And then I ate brussel sprouts and gave myself crazy gas and worked 8hours. But I ran. And ate mostly good things.

[tri-ingtolive]

I spent all day baking cookies, didn't drink enough water, after getting out of 6 hours in the ER and eating McDonalds at 1am, and went for a rough 3.5 mile run. I don't know if I felt the need to go faster or I was just not fueled correctly, but I got the first side stitch I've gotten since high school and I kept wishing that the track would end. Brenny gave me her garmin and I got so frustrated I couldn't work it that I got rude to the Lady, but I think it was better running without it this day. My speed would have been terrrrrrible. And I got lost. But today was a good day and tomorrow will be better!

[tri-ingtolive]

I've been working hard on running more than a single mile this week. I've done a good job. (It's only Wednesday.) On Monday, I went for a run. I planned on about three. But then I decided to run until I could walk the lady home from a meeting, so I ended up mappingmyrun and ended up with 4.78 miles with the walking her home and whatnot. Not bad. Felt good. Sometimes things like this make me think, "thirteen miles won't be too bad!" But then I laugh. It's not even half. On Tuesday, I dragged my big ol' bum out of bed. I ended up making a work out up using the erg and kettle bell and some weights. Exercise is cumulative, right? Many reps is good? I dunno. But I felt good doing it and I feel a little sore today. And I got my heart rate up and got rid of the grump yesterday. Today I'm working a 10 hour day and figuring out what to do for an anniversary gift. Three years is a long time.

[faggottt]

me when my attitude goes away because i’m about to eat 

[tri-ingtolive]

Today I did much adulting. I picked the Lady up from rent-a-car early, took a nap, got ready, got breakfast, went to a doctor to establish a PCP, got a stupid tetanus shot, picked up a prescription, visited the daffodil farm, did a load of laundry, cooked fingerling potatoes and broccoli to go with the chicken I made two nights ago, ran a mile, and have a body weight workout ready to go. 25 air squats 20 triceps dips 15 push-ups 10 push press with tiny weights I'm consistently below 150, which is considerably different than when I was living out of orderable food and quite unhappy. My mileage has been sad this week because of work. My favorite barista got food poisoning on a day when I really actually planned to run and I stayed late. A few call outs and extra hours and I ran a total of one mile this week. 😳🙄 My steps have been 9-15000 so I'm not mad, but I suppose I'll have to work harder.

[tri-ingtolive]

I've worked more hours since Thursday than my sister has worked for three weeks. I'm not trying for a "I'm so busy, psht." But I'm trying to say I ran on Thursday but haven't run since. Sometimes you need to go to dinner with a friend who has no judgement and drink a bottle of prosecco and eat a lot of food and finally get below 150 lbs the next morning. Sometimes you skip a few scheduled miles to cuddle in bed. Sometimes you say fuck it because you did 15000+ steps each day of your three doubles in a row and your feet are still throbbing. But I feel like I haven't been so happy in months. 😊

[tri-ingtolive]

Today was the “long run” for the 20* week training I started. It was four miles on my only day off until ….I don’t want to talk about it. More than a week.

So I went shopping, had fun, ate a delicious breakfast, ate some potato chips, took a nap, and started my run too late.

I don’t really break rules. Like, ever. So I ran three laps at the track I like around the lake, but it was dusk and the park closed at dusk. And there were a LOT of people and I don’t like to run around them because I always feel obligated to smile, but I smirk, and it looks creepy and I feel weird and I’m sure everyone else does too.

When I pulled into my driveway, I scoped out a 1.69 mile loop with mapmyrun which has gotten soooo much better since I used it years ago. And I hit the pavement.

I’m enjoying training so far. But we’ll see how I feel when I start to up my mileage. But at least I’m not lack g my Fitbit challenges anymore.

[tri-ingtolive]

The Lady doesn't have a car, so we went bargain hunting for sneakers for her to walk around in. Then I got distracted by running gear. I want to chop my hair off. I want to look feminine, but I also hate drying my hair, particularly in the summer. So I was thinking if (when?!) I cut inches off my hair, how will I keep it off my face? And I found hats. I wish I could say I posted this first, but I bought the Dana Fairbanks-esque visor and took a run in it. I couldn't bring myself to buy the white one (or the pink one for that matter) but I look damn cute. The visor stayed put, blocked the sun, let my head breathe, and when I cut my hair, it'll all stay off my neck and face!

[learningthingsisfun]

This last week has been nuts.

The Lady moved to CT. Things have been filling in. On Thursday I ran four miles. On Friday, I was supposed to run but I left my house at 6am to see the Lady graduate and eventually walked two miles and ate a lot of ice cream and listen to a lot of Goblet of Fire.

I was supposed to run three on Sunday but I worked 7a-8p and served food so I did a LOT of steps. So I ran on Monday. I took Tuesday off. Today I ran three in the hills of Litchfield County. Harder than the track I’ve been doing.

Tomorrow has 4 on the docket

[tri-ingtolive]

I'm a firm believer that getting things done is a form of self care. If that means relaxing, that's cool. If that means saying no to someone or something, self care. Paying the bill you've been ignoring, self care. If that means opening a savings account, doing laundry, eating well, cleaning a room, cleaning your room, washing your sheets, eating a lot of guacamole, running four miles in a tank top, cleaning out your car, and making your bed, then yes. Today I practiced that last run on sentence and four miles felt great. It took me about 50 minutes, but I probably could have pushed harder. Right now I think I'm just gonna try to get it done. I'll work on a faster pace in the summer. Today I got to run in a tank top and my GOD it felt wonderful. I was confused though because as I'm starting my last lap and thinking that maybe I should have worn my moisture wicking capris instead of full length cotton leggings, a woman in pants, sweater, and winter coat walks by me and I'm looking at the pools of sweat in my elbow pits and thinking she's nuts.

[tri-ingtolive]

So I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this, but my only goal with this half marathon is to complete it. To not die and get it done. I’d really like to get it done without having to walk, just jog/run (what’s the difference? I consider anything above a walk a run.) the whole of the 13.1 miles. So I started a “20 week” training plan, but didn’t work backwards from the end date, just decided to start this week. And I was two weeks off. So I guess I have a few extra weeks of the shorter runs, which seems nice. The next couple of weeks are a little nuts and running for 30 minutes seems like a good deal versus more. I want to start to like running before I make it even more time consuming. I’ve had two good meals. One burrito-esque bowl, no cheese. And a veggie/bacon/egg scramble for breakfast. Last night I had a small sliver of pizza because it looked so damn good. And a chocolate truffle (it was between that and a Dogfishhead Namaste beer). Today I ran 3 miles while avoiding eye contact with a boy I graduated high school with and unfriended on Facebook. (I think he posted something infuriating about Caitlyn Jenner, but it might have been something else.) I thought many things on my run, but one thought that stuck was, slow and steady finishes the race eventually. Oh, AND I OFFICIALLY GAVE THESE PEOPLE MY MONEY. ITS REALLY HAPPENING.

[tri-ingtolive]

There’s a tiiiiiiny little person in this photo climbing on tree roots who was very happy with her cardio vascular abilities and quads and the way she felt when she exercised. I’m looking for her. Trying to find her again.

[tri-ingtolive]

I started a paleo diet seven weeks ago with the crossfit challenge. I cheated sometimes, but in general I did a decent job. I ate a lot more vegetables than usual and realized I liked the way my body felt between the strenuous activity of crossfit and the positive relationship I had with food. I also lost 9lbs and my body started to look wicked. I could see the tendons move beneath my skin and the muscles all over my legs. I was diggin' it. A little background on my relationship with food: it is a love-love relationship. Once upon a time, I was very, very picky. Then I decided you can't dislike something you've never tried so I worked hard on trying more. Now I love greasy, fried, unhealthy food. I love green things that take a lot of time to chew. I love raw. I love cooked. I love hot. I love cold. I. Love. Bread. (Like Oprah.) I love food. So I've decided to do paleo again. (With cheats of course! Because balance.) One of my favorite things about paleo is that I can eat bacon if I spend a little. It's like a cheat. That's not a cheat. I also REALLY love avocados. A great source of fatty fat fats. And it makes my hair and skin pretty nice. So this is accountability.