Ultigom's blog

Just a guy who enjoys video games and messing around with friends.

[haunted-xander]

Mentors in Deltarune are either a dead old man or an anime twink trying to fuck your dad

Alternatively:

[daughter-of-sapph0]

just killed the legendary hero while he was remembering his dead wife. fucking loser. he got distracted while imagining her laughing and smiling with him underneath thin bedsheets. what a dumb and cliche dead wife memory.

anyway i hit him with an eldritch blast while he wasn't looking. the dark wizard wins once again! nyehehehe

[daughter-of-sapph0]

wait, why is his party gathering around him like that? what are you doing? your leader is dead, you already lost!

[daughter-of-sapph0]

revival spells are fucking stupid cheater bullshit i hate you i hate you i hate you! making a youtube video essay rant on why you shouldn't use revival spells as im stuck in evil wizard prison

[daughter-of-sapph0]

actually, wait a minute. if his party had a revival spell, why not use it on his dead wife?! fucking bullshit stupid ass hero party. i hate them!

[arainydancer]

anata sonata

[cheaphalloweencostume]

my least favorite literary smut turn of phrase is when a guy is like “im gonna ruin this pussy” “im gonna wreck this pussy for anyone else” like stop.. thats not yours…!

[goofda]

“Imma destroy that pussy” my friend 😔

[jamdrawers]

Commission for a Very Fancy Lady (who is a dragon)

I think I was going to give her a more moderate bottom-third-of-the-image for tumblr but I really can't be bothered to make edits now.

[r2x2]

The Amnesty International report that JK Rowling is trying to censor through legal threats.

It can also be found on Google Drive here and on Bluesky here.

[cbarc]

Please save and share this info where possible. This report has since been removed by Amnesty International due to legal threats of libel from JK Rowling. This information is no longer easily accessible.

[segamascott]

the average tumblr user's inherent inability to detect sarcasm facetiousness irony or just a regular old bit explains why booktok is nothing but books that read like "he walked into the room because he was going there. it was dark because it was night which is why he turned on a light. which is a metaphor"

[creekfiend]

gender essentialism is soooo funny bc it's like "this is what women are like" and you're like "I've met women and many of them, if not the majority, have not been like that" and it's like "well women SHOULD be like that" and you're like "why should women be like that" and its like "because that's what women are like"

[animperfectangelsblog]

[k009]

My back hurts

[amaraqwolf]

Good news: if you’re currently laying around and not producing anything, you are a credit to your species.

[willow-wanderings]

It’s recently been found that even hive insects rest. Bees will play with colorful toys. Ants sleep for about 1 minute but they do it so frequently it amounts to a few hours per day. Even trees take breaks.

The only things that work without rest are machines; literally everything that lives requires rest.

EVERYTHING THAT LIVES REQUIRES REST. STOP JUDGING YOURSELF FOR NOT BEING A ROBOT.

[roach-works]

robots require very frequent breaks! welding machines generally have it programmed in that they can’t run so long they melt themselves. ive overseen two different manufacturing robots now and each of them were fragile, finicky idiots that require constant maintenance and repair. they pause in between moves, in between jobs. you’re always keeping an eye on programming errors, on coolant levels, on heat. you’re always pulling bits of scrap out of joints, sweeping up debris, washing off nozzles and untangling hoses. and even then it snaps a chain and takes a whole morning’s vacation.

even robots need downtime.

[sphyrne]

she

[kactusnz]

#oh SO true#discworld#you've nailed it op that's it exactly#she is a prophet of retribution set aglow from within by the fury of her righteousness#and he's in the dictionary next to the word 'scrungly'

[maryellencarter]

this captures their kermit and miss piggy energy better than anything else i've ever seen

[normystical]

wedding dresses are white specifically so that if the bride goes axe-crazy you can rest assured you will see the blood stains all over her and it'll be sick as fuck

[psychedelicmoonpie]

My favourite Adrian headcanon is that they're a biologist/zoologist who has seen so much shit, they're completely unphased by any and every alien habit of Grace's.

I mean full-on khaki-shorts-wearing, traversing-wilderness-with-nothin'-but-a-machete Adrian who yoinks snakes outta trees and pets swamp puppies and will unflinchingly dig around in elephant faeces for signs of a rare parasitic tapeworm if needed.

Oh, humans eat socially? No problem, Adrian has observed many many animals eat. Did you know that an obscure species of small underground dirt creature from the north side of Erid also eats socially? Adrian can give you a not-so-short presentation on them.

Oh, the human has no external carapace and so its internal sounds are absurdly loud, wet and off-putting? No problem, Adrian was just conducting an expedition last month researching the incredible eridian animal, the Wet Loud Worm from the south-east region of Wet Loud Wormland. They're desensitised, it's fine.

Oh, Grace leaks often from many orifices and it can be a bit of a learning curve to get used to? No problem for Adrian, see Wet Loud Worm paragraph again!

Meanwhile, Rocky is bewildered as to how he's managed to third-wheel both of his relationships, because both Adrian and Grace are nerds who nerd out about things, and Adrian is shaking in their carapace with enthusiasm to learn more about human culture and biology, not to mention everything about earth animals. And yeah, sure, Grace might be a molecular biologist, but he'll be damned if he'll pass up an opportunity to learn about alien fauna from a fellow scientist, and yes, Adrian, he'd love to hear about the small underground dirt creature from the north side of Erid, and he's so excited to learn more about the Wet Loud Worm, do go on.

[the-grey-hunt]

#zoologist adrian would be absolutely captivated by the concept of Plants. erid doesn't have those#you mean your atmosphere is so clear your entire planet has ground level sunlight and there's an entire subsection of life#defined by their ability to turn it into energy... because the rest of it DOESN'T? sure you synthetize vitamin d out of it#but that's nothing#saviour grace why don't you photosynthesize question? skill issue question?

[manyblinkinglights]

#rip Rocky having 'Biologist' as your type is a choice#source: I was a biologist for a while

[jeyneofpoole]

nolan’s odyssey is such a textbook study on the idiocy and dangers of presentism. yes of course penelope is a modern day feminist who wants to rule ithaca by herself. they make telemachus say that GREECE IS THE GREATEST CIVILIZATION IN THE WORLD as if the entire point of the massing of achaeans at troy for one unified cause isn’t spectacular precisely because THERE IS NO CONCEPT OF A UNIFIED GREECE NATIONS DO NOT EXISTTTTTT YETTTTT. literally 101 on historical writing is making sure that you’re avoiding strict periodization because the people living in a “period” will not identify themselves that way. ever. five million cheeky nods to “the sea peoples” but we’re being cute and coy and calling them “the people from the sea.” the obsession with xenia but refusal to call it xenia yes let’s say “zeus’s law” a hundred times and reduce it to the literal expectation that any stranger could be a god in disguise. how was penelope just hanging out in the main hall of the palace with her husband’s dinner guests while they were playing with weapons with her HAIR COMPLETELY DOWN no veil no nothing just chilling casually. comical. stoppppp making movies that engage in historical viewpoints if you’re going to slather a modernized coat of paint over the top. “the past is a foreign country, they do things differently there.” or fucking whatever.

[themothergut]

weeeeeeee

[sandboxpyramid]

it's all we have

[hyunonaut]

some alternate timeline where the flowers are visiting idk

(I realize it's funny that here he's landed himself in a similar situation as ralsei initially)