polymath polydactyl

chell | he/him | not a minor | send asks 👀 | yeetus_yeetus on a03 | crzh vbxe pibbm abmofsxqflk

[gregor-samsa-daily]

today's gregor samsa is: at the mystery shack

requested by: @ucallmetroy

[lilliarty127sv]

Which Stanford era is your favourite?

Child Ford

Teenage Ford

Pre portal Ford

Paranoid Ford

Portal Ford

Grunkle Ford

weirdmagddon Ford

Sea grunk Ford

Voting ended onMar 24

Stan's poll?

[trianglesimpfordpines]

me years ago: I don't like the "Ford has NPD" headcanon because I never got the impression that he genuinely believes he is superior, rather he feels like he has to be superior because he believes his only options are to either be The Best or to be completely worthless. Like, he seems fine with the idea of other people having weaknesses and making mistakes, but he's not allowed to slip up or he goes into a self-loathing spiral. That's not really narcissism; that's just normal, right? Doesn't everybody feel like they can only be worth something if they are able to outperform everybody even at the extent of their health or even their life? Wouldn't everybody rather be tortured than show weakness? Doesn't everybody feel soul-crushing all-consuming shame every time they are reminded that they are in fact only human?

(so anyway it turns out I may in fact have NPD)

[trianglesimpfordpines]

If I hadn't seen Gravity Falls, I would have thought Ford was a pimp because of your profile.

LMAOOOOOOO my pfp does kinda look like Pimp Ford doesn't it 💀

[trianglesimpfordpines]

Actually the funniest thing about all the endless Ford Discourse TM is that so many of my favorite characters from other fandoms actually are evil. And I actually see LESS discourse about them. Like I don't even defend Ford this much because I can't handle the idea of liking and relating to a character who is an irredeemable piece of shit. My main favorite character right now is literally Rassilon. I'm not afraid to blorbopost about villains. Ford just genuinely isn't one.

[trianglesimpfordpines]

The thing about coming up with interpretations and headcanons of a pre-existing text is that the more your "interpretation" relies on assuming the characters involved are lying, the more textual evidence you need to back up that reading.

You could say Ford knew about Bill's evil plans the entire time and only felt betrayed when he realized those plans were going to negatively affect him...but this "interpretation" assumes that damn near everything Ford says about his own backstory, both to other characters and in writing, is an outright lie.

And it's not that Ford would never lie, but once you reach the headcanon level where everything he says is a lie, to the point where you end up claiming that the central tenet of his entire character arc (being lied to and betrayed by Bill) is just him trying to save face, I feel like you need to have some genuinely solid evidence, and I just don't think "he saw someone say Do Not Summon and did it anyway!" counts as strong enough evidence to make this a plausible reading of the source material. Especially when there are other extremely obvious explanations for why Ford ignored the warnings about Bill that actually do line up with Ford's characterization and the rest of the story and don't rely on you, the reader/viewer, assuming everybody is lying all the time.

At this point, you really have to consider what the point is of believing anything any of the characters say. "Ooh, what if Ford knew the whole time" okay, what if Dipper and Mabel are actually triplets? They're just really embarrassed of their secret third sibling, Mabert, so they never mention her. Oh, but they literally say they're twins multiple times on screen? Yeah, well, twelve-year-olds lie all the time, they're obviously lying because they're so embarrassed of Mabert they want to pretend she doesn't exist! You can't prove this isn't true and a valid interpretation of the show! #JusticeForMabertPines

[casarole76]

[billcests]

i think the reason the fandom tends to infantilize fiddleford is because of ford’s own reluctance to blame f for anything. ford is extremely lenient and forgiving towards f. we only have ford’s perspective of their story, and not once does he ever show any resentment towards his friend. not even for violating his mind multiple times and causing him irreversible trauma. ford blames himself when this happens. and when he’s scared and injured and alone after fiddleford leaves, he wears the gloves he made him to protect his hands and feel safe. no matter what fiddleford does, ford forgives. and considering ford only acknowledges his flaws ONCE when he calls him a coward in the heat of the moment, it seems like he doesn’t enjoy thinking too hard about fiddleford’s wrongdoings either (despite him clearly needing to get it off his chest…i mean ‘go back to your life of fear and compromise’ is crazy. he’s been waiting to say that for YEARS). he knows fiddleford likes to take the easy way out, even to the detriment of others, but the only time he ever called him out on it was when fiddleford abandons their project. he doesn’t do it again when he realizes just how often fiddleford used the memory gun on him.

so i guess its ford’s fault that fiddleford became the fandom’s token softie.

[candycatfalls]

The show definitely focuses more on the similarities between Stan+Mabel and Ford+Dipper for plot reasons, but Stan and Dipper being the stubborn realist family protectors and Ford and Mabel being the weird eccentric optimists is so. so.. I need to eat rocks

[truffle-worm]

Remember guys Ford is a very serious scientist.

[joyflameball]

most likely to do cannibalism/resort to cannibalism (for any reason)

dipper

mabel

stan

ford

Voting ended onNov 25, 2025

it can be for fun, for survival, for pure curiousity, whatever. who would do cannibalism and why would they do it

[faebeeboo]

he built a career on identifying and documenting anomalous beings but he still tries to hide his abnormalities. he loves things that aren’t usual but he puts his hands in his pockets and behind his back and prays no one notices.

he loves strange things but doesn’t expect anyone else to

[kazoosandfannypacks]

You know what? I'm gonna say it. There are some characters who are GOOD and that is a CHOICE that is INTRINSIC to their character. There are some characters who wake up every morning and make the choice to be a good person in the face of a world that gives them every reason not to. There are some characters who "deserve a dark side arc" or "have a right to be a little evil after everything they've been through" and they actively choose to deny themselves that right because even after everything they still choose to do the right thing and to help people and to love everyone even after it breaks them and THAT'S what makes them such a good character— the very fact THAT they could easily but CHOOSE to do right instead. There are some characters whose choice to be good is an intrinsic facet of their character and to take that away from them is to take away everything that makes them such a compelling character in the first place.

[lillie-garden]

Never ever ever eat raw white onion and then smoke cigarette.

[helpeverythingiscats]

The gnomes beat the shit out of you again?

[lillie-garden]

The gnomes beat the shit out of me again.

[jheselbraum]

"Ford and Emma May have beef" listen I know everything about Ford's personality and his relationship with Fiddleford would suggest that they would, but I present to you the much more hilarious alternative: That Stanford Pines and Emma-May Dixon would get along swimmingly, much to the chagrin of one Fiddleford McGucket

[fandomtrashlmao]

You’re onto something.

I don’t think Ford would have beef with Emma May. I just don’t. He knows that this is Fiddleford’s ex wife and he has no reason to have beef with her. Like, maybe he’d be jealous, but I feel like that’d turn more into self loathing about how of course Fiddleford would be attracted to a woman, why would he be interested in men anyway?

So really the question is: would Emma May have beef with Ford? Honestly, probably, but we know pretty much nothing about her outside of the fact that she had a dying marriage with Fiddleford and got mad at him when he didn’t get her a Christmas present. We also assume that she raised Tate by herself. She also had to deal with a killer robot going after her when she finally divorced Fiddleford.

She probably assumes (rightfully) that Fiddleford cheated on her with Ford.

While all of that points to Emma May having beef with Ford, I also think you can interpret her view of him as: it’s been 30 years. So much has happened since then and Emma May hopefully moved on from her failed marriage. What if she just looks at him and decides to finally hear his side of the story.

From there, Emma May learns that Ford wasn’t aware that Fiddleford was attracted to him when they were working together. She also learns that at the time, Ford was dealing with his own abusive boyfriend (Ford fudges the details a bit and makes it out to seem like he was working for an actual human guy instead of Bill). Ford apologizes for everything that happened with Fiddleford and blames himself for Fiddleford’s insanity.

Seeing him like that, Emma May feels incredible empathy for him and hands him her number if he ever wants to talk about this stuff with someone who’s not in his family.

After that, Fiddleford will every now and then catch the two talking and he knows good and well that he has nothing to say in his defense.

[ooh-khamil]

"AD ASTRA PER ASPERA!"

og pic!⬇️

[need-him-pregnant-poll]

NEED👏THAT👏MAN👏PREGNANT BONUS POLL - 'INSEMINATOR POLL #1'

The wheel has chosen ten former contestants at random... now, they get the chance to compete for the privilege of fathering Stanford Pines' first child! Have at it, y'all!

TUMBLR! Who's getting Grunkle Ford pregnant?

Dr. Delbert Doppler (Treasure Planet)

Britt Reid (The Green Hornet '66)

Jake Wilson (Dayshift at Freddy's)

King Neptune (SpongeBob SquarePants)

Tenth Doctor (Doctor Who)

L Lawliet (Death Note)

Farmer Jim (The Day the Earth Blew Up: A Looney Tunes Movie)

Larry, Moe, & Curly (The Three Stooges)

Benn Beckman (One Piece)

Way (Pit Babe)

Voting ended onJul 3, 2025

*Bonus polls do not have any standing in the official competition and are purely for fan amusement!