i cannot wait to have a wife to watch movies and cuddle up with every single night
tumblr dot com
YOU ARE THE REASON
we're not kids anymore.
Show & Tell

Discoholic đȘ©

Love Begins
Misplaced Lens Cap
AnasAbdin
No title available
đȘŒ
Mike Driver
Sade Olutola

PR's Tumblrdome
No title available

Origami Around

blake kathryn

izzy's playlists!
i don't do bad sauce passes

titsay
taylor price

seen from Greece
seen from Malaysia

seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Brazil
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from France

seen from Malaysia

seen from TĂŒrkiye
seen from Indonesia

seen from United States
seen from Germany

seen from Spain

seen from TĂŒrkiye

seen from France
@tricl0ps
i cannot wait to have a wife to watch movies and cuddle up with every single night
You guys know that John Mulaney bit
â What should one do, when what they want to be isnât what theyâre best at? Everyone fights, searching for the correct way to live their lives. What do they seek by fighting? How ought they live? No one can say. All we have is the right to waver. Like stray dogs that have hit rock bottom. â
Happy Birthday Dazai! â€ïž [June 19]
Aziraphale: *cry of agony*
Crowley, rushing into the room, wings out, eyes blazing, battle ready: What's happened?! What's wrong?!
Aziraphale, solemnly placing a hand over his face, the Great British Bake-Off still playing on the TV: She forgot to butter her tin.
Crowley: *gasp* NO!
Aziraphale: I'm afraid so.
Crowley: Her cake! It's so delicate!
Aziraphale: It'll be nothing but crumbs.
Crowley, looking skyward: Is there no mercy left in this world, then? The girl just wants to go to university, you arrogant sod!
for some reason in my (cursed? blessed?) sims game i am able to invite the grim reaper to parties, and now he regularly shows up even if i donât invite him. he often brings ceviche. normal quality. heâs a decent party guest except for the fact that the only interaction you can have with him is to slow dance. naturally i made one of my sims slow dance with him, which gave him the notification âwe have a lot in common! id love to get to know you betterâ. so anyway, a couple of days and parties later, itâs 6 am and my sim gets a phone call. itâs death. he wants to know if i want to go on a date.Â
naturally my sim accepts. death takes him to the school stadium in the rain and stands outside, unable to be interacted with, while a thought bubble containing my simâs face pops up over his head for a simlish hour, over and over again, carrying a rainbow umbrella while my sim sits on the ground and considers the hollowness of life.Â
remembering that all i can do is slow dance with him, i drive him to moonlight point, where thereâs a couch and a record player, and i slow dance with him for about 5 hours. every 2 seconds he steps on my simsâ foot, to the point where it was hard to get decent pictures of them actually slow dancing.Â
after a while my sim got hungry so i let him go drink some juice, and death went and started reading a book on a couch. i went and sat next to him, wondering if there would be any new interactions since you get different ones when you sit on a couch or bench, and lo and behold i discovered, not only can you slow dance with death, you can also cuddle with him. naturally i did so because the quality of dates is determined by the number of positive social interactions you have with someone, and slow dancing unfortunately doesnât give you any of those, but cuddling does. anyway, once you start the cuddling animation, you get fancy new options like kiss and make out, so my sim spent the next six hours making out with death on a shitty couch at the beach in a thunderstorm while listening to sim!bastille.Â
after a couple dozen make out sessions, a single option appeared under the Romantic⊠heading: âtake a romantic photo togetherâ. this only shows up once youâre a romantic interest of someone. i have now successfully wooed death. knowing that selecting this option would make death stand up from the couch and i likely wouldnât be able to get him to sit again, i decided to end the date at the tender hour of 3 am (i guess death doesnât sleep) with a kiss. it takes a while- death canât seem to figure out where to stand or how to walk around a foosball table- but eventually i get my picture.
but apparently death doesnt like having his picture taken.Â
i try to slow dance again with him, but the option has disappeared. i have committed an irreparable social faux pas. i sit on the couch again in the hopes that death will resume reading his book and i can cuddle with him again, but instead he stands in front of the bookshelf for an hour. i take a break, leaving my sim to his own devices for a while while i check in on my other sims, since one of them just went into labour. i deal with that. when i return, i find my sim drinking juice in silence with death still standing in front of the bookshelf, but heâs changed into this sick new outfit in the interim.Â
beekeeper chic. finally, at 6 am, death decides heâs had enough. he will never forgive me for my social blunder of taking a selfie while lipping at his shadowy veil. he opens up his rainbow umbrella and leaves.Â
the date doesnât end until i get home. i receive no date notification. death doesnât even deign to let me know how badly i fucked up. all i have to remember my 24 hour gay liaison with one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse is a single selfie. i hang it over my sims bed, a constant reminder to him that he has achieved ultimate goth status, and a warning to the others he dates: i have kissed death, and he never called me back.
Adam:âCrowley how do i get revenge on my enemies?â
Crowley:âI suppose the best revenge is letting go and live life to the fullestâ
Adam:âŠâŠ..
Adam:âAziraphale how do i-
Aziraphale:âMake them disappear and never come backâ
zendaya said fuck racist lives
The real point behind Aziraphale and Crowleyâs trials is that it didnât stop there. What happened was that some bright spark, Above or Below, managed to have the thought, âIf he can make himself immune to the powers of the enemy by hanging around that enemy until he developed resistance, maybe someone else can? Naturally, I wonât succumb like he did because I know my place, but maybe I can just work up a tolearance. Just think what an advantage that would be when the real war finally begins!â So they tentatively reach out to a suitable angel or demon and suggest they should get together and talk, hinting that recent events have made them consider the advantages of changing sides. They suggest they get together in neutral space - a coffee shop or similar - and compare notes. And they do. And itâs⊠interesting. Naturally the angel is on his very best behavior, because he feels it behooves him to set the best possible example for this demon, even if that means treating him with (somewhat guarded) respect. The demon is likewise on his best behavior, because he doesnât want this angel sneering down his nose at him. And once the initial awkwardness is over, they wind up having a surprisingly nice time. Bot of them go home considering the meeting a success. All they have to do, they believe, is keep up the pretense.
And yes, both of them are thinking that, because the idea of this plan isnât a hard one to come up with. Both of them are aiming for the prize of becoming immune to holy water/hellfire, and they arenât the only ones. All over the world, angels and demons are meeting up in art galleries and tea houses and libraries and getting to know one another, and itâs⊠nice. Easier than they thought it would be. The angels are finding out that itâs rather pleasant to have this chance to let their hair down and be a little less than perfect once in a while. The demons are finding that itâs nice to spend time with someone who isnât out to make their lives as miserable as possible every second of the day. After all, these are angels, and they do nice things for people without thinking about it - they hold open doors, draw out chairs, pick up the tab, pay genuine compliments. Demons are not used to this kind of treatment, and itâs amazing to have someone be nice to them without expecting anything in return. Gradually, the demons start trying to clean themselves up and present themselves better - after all, theyâre having these meetings in public, and people are going to start to notice if they see these people who look like they were dug up four days after their funeral hanging around with these immaculate-looking angels all the time. Wouldnât want to attract too much human attention. The angels, meanwhile, are embracing the idea of color and individual style. A scarf here, a pair of earrings there, a hat with a feather in it, a patterned necktie, a touch of lipstick or eyeshadow - little things that can be quickly hidden when someone they know shows up, but which feel so good when theyâre on.
At some point, the top brass start realizing something funny is going on. They havenât put their fingers on exactly what it is yet, but they know thereâs something in the air and theyâre pretty sure it has something to do with that thing that happened with Crowley and Aziraphale. Gabriel makes an emergency call to Beelzebub to discuss the matter before it can destabilize the entire cosmic order. She agrees to meet him. The poor man is so worked up that he actually agrees when she offers to buy him a drink. After all, a half a glass of wine never hurt anyone, right? They wind up having a long talk about how hard it is to keep their respective herds of cats in line, and spend a very cathartic time complaining about the people they have to work with. Nothing much ever gets settled, even though they meet for further discussions over and over and over.
At first, everyone thinks theyâre the only ones. When they see someone they know in public, they duck out of sight. Then, gradually, someone lets something slip, and instead of repudiation, they get, âOh, I thought I was the only one!â Instead of one on one meetings, they start getting together in groups of four, or eight, or twelve. Everyone takes their turn buying rounds, the angels sing heavenly karaoke, and the demons teach their new friends how to dance. Sometimes Aziraphale and Crowley show up, and are treated as honored guests - the founders of the order, in a sense.
Gabriel and Beelzebub still arenât admitting to themselves whatâs going on, but they have to admit that thereâs a better atmosphere around the cosmos these days. Gabriel canât remember the last time he heard angels singing just because they felt like it, and finds himself wondering why they ever stopped. Beelzebub isnât quite willing to admit out loud that sheâs enjoying how hell isnât so hellish these days, but the big boss has been sulking in his pit ever since the end-of-the-world debacle and doesnât seem to care what his underlings do these days, so why worry?
And then one day the order comes down fron On High: âGather your weapons and put on your armor. Today is the day of decision.â
They gather on a barren world light-years from Earth and line up in their formations, and they look at each other. They look across the divide and see familiar faces, people theyâve danced with, laughed with, gotten drunk with, admired the beauties of creation with. Theyâve wept on each otherâs shoulders when humanity proves once again that they donât need any demonic interference to create tragedies for themselves, theyâve wondered together in the dark of the night, âWhat is it all about, really, and why are we doing this?â Then the command to attack comes, and they⊠donât move. Not all of them, of course. There are a few in every bunch. Those who never joined the secret society turn to stare at those who have, and demand to know, âWhat are you doing just standing there? Those are our enemies! We have to destroy them!â
The battle is brief. The members of the secret society outnumber the dissenters a hundred to one, and in the end, the original plan worked. They made themselves immune to hellfire and holy water by making it so their friends would never want to use it on them. They all know who they can trust, while the dissenters have no idea who is an enemy and who is an ally until itâs too late. The victors are merciful, though, and merely subdue and restrain wherever possible. They know all too well that it is possible to turn an enemy into a friend. And so they wait for the Allmighty to judge their actions. Aziraphale and Crowley stand at the forefront of the crowd, gripping each otherâs hands and not as terrified as they might be. Theyâve been through this sort of thing before, and theyâre sure - almost sure - how this is going to play out.
And God looks at them all and says, âAhh, my children, I see youâre finally starting to understand. Now our work can really beginâŠâ
people adding 1,000 years by christina perri to crowley/aziraphale playlist & gifsets is SO funny because itâs not even like the usual overdramatics of fandom it is literally a SEVERE under-exaggeration
I love that Aziraphale and Crowley are immortals who donât look 17-25. Presumably they could look whatever age they wanted, but they donât because theyâve been able to enjoy life and get in trouble and do things and fall in love as they are. Iâm getting tired of the focus on youth and âbeautyâ as ultimate goals, especially in immortal stories. You donât have to be a teenager to live your life.
This is like that socks post
listen, fam, I am not usually one to deliver The Angst, but the thing you gotta know about me is that I do not suffer alone
So I need you to know, I absolutely need you to know, that as Aziraphale watches Crowley walk away, after he (Aziraphale) declares that itâs over between them
there is the slightest little lip wobble. did you see it??? HERE, LEMME GIVE YOU A CLOSE-UP
kill me now
JUST LOOK AT THE HEARTBREAK ON HIS FACE. Because he knowsâhe just knowsâthat this is it. Six thousand years and this is the last time heâll ever see Crowley.
Even if he manages to stop Armaggedon, this is it. Itâs over. He said it was over. Why did he do that? He doesnât WANT it to be over. Six thousand years wasnât enough, how is he gonna manage six thousand more without him?
the OTHER THING that I absolutely need you to see again is Crowleyâs reaction to being told itâs over
he just stands there and stares. He just stands there for so long that I canât gif it because itâs too big of a file. Thatâs how thrown Crowley is
play it cool, play it cool, he doesnât know he just smashed my heart into the finest dust.Â
And the fact that Aziraphale only lasts a few seconds watching him leave?? before he has to look away??? It just fucking kills me.Â
Not only is it too painful for him, but he knows that heâs hurt Crowley, even though Crowley will never admit it, heâll just internalize it just like heâs internalized everything thatâs hurt him since the Falling. Just like heâs internalized the hurt from the Falling.
stab me, it would hurt less
I canât decide what broke me more, Crowleyâs constant acts of service, always showing up to save Aziraphel or make him happier⊠or Azâs extremely in love expressions.
Like, listen:
a. THE WAY HE LOOKS AT HIM even when playing âenemiesâ
b. His smile when Crowley appears to save him in France? SOFT
c. WHEN HE FALLS IN LOVE
d. That cutesy smile and blush????
e. The way his gaze lingers after the sexually charged moment AND HEâS LOOKING AT THIS LIPS BEFORE HIS GAZE GOES UP??
f. âto the worldâ but say it like it means âi love youâ
tbh I canât imagine aziraphale growing attached to puppies or kittens or anything like that bc it would break his heart each & every time he lost one to age , but I can picture him palling around w a giant tortoise, who lives upward of 100 years
âcan playing a video game be spiritual?â bruh play animal crossing at 2:23 am on a calm rainy night and u will transcend space and time and find peace
You know that post about the two professors who were married but none or few of their students knew? How about that, but Crowley and Aziraphale, with The Them as their undergrad students, and Newt and Anathema as the grad student TAs who Know The Truth. Newt is Crowleyâs and Anathema is Aziraphaleâs because I like opposing dynamics and also I think it makes sense for the classes Iâve picked for them to teach.Â
Aziraphale teaches literature, obviously, and Crowley is an extremely chaotic theatre professor. Thereâs a small overlap of students who take both their courses, but they do a shared Shakespeare course every fall semester. Even people who take that class think theyâre just colleagues.Â
Crowley is always mentioning his husband casually in class (when heâs not off on a chaotic tangent), but he always says âmy husbandâ so no one actually knows his husbands name. Meanwhile, Aziraphale never talks about his personal life. They know heâs married because he wears a ring, but thatâs all they know.Â
One day, Adam goes to Professor Fellâs office hours and sees Professor Crowley sitting on Professor Fellâs desk, leaned VERY far forward and invading Prof. Fellâs space, and Prof. Fell doesnât seem to mind! So ofc, Adam immediately forgets what he was there to ask about and runs off to tell the rest of the Them what he saw and they immediately fall into wild speculation about their professors. Eventually Pepper comes to the conclusion that Professors Fell and Crowley must be having an affair because what Adam saw was definitely unprofessional and decidedly unplatonic.
So now the kids are making weird references to adultery in both classes, and trying to Insinuate without being too obvious and risking their grades, and the rumor ofc spreads to the both the entire English department and the entire theatre department. But of course, Aziraphale and Crowley are completely oblivious to it because they didnât see Adam see them, and itâs only spreading among the students.
Until Anathema is in the middle of a one-on-one TA session with a student, who lets it slip that the whole english department knows about Professor Fellâs affair, and Anathema is like âhis WHATâ and is about to Freak Out, and then the student goes âyeah, heâs having an affair with Professor Crowley from the theatre department, Adam saw them in Professor Fellâs officeâ and Anathema is just like ââŠoh. right. yeah, very bad thatâ knowing full well sheâs throwing fuel on the fire and the student will take that as confirmation, but câmon itâs too fucking funny. And immediately after she goes to Newt and is like âguess what I just heardâ and they both just Lose It laughing.Â
Newt, although he agrees to keep it from Professor Crowley so they can enjoy the chaos a little longer, accidentally lets it slip a few days later, and Crowley is so offended that anyone would think he could cheat on his husband. âThey think weâre having an affair? I spend more time talking about âmy husbandâ than I do the performing arts, for fuckâs sake!â and he just storms off to find Aziraphale to tell him about the rumor.Â
Aziraphale is horribly embarrassed about the whole thing, but heâs also extremely petty and extra. So, during Aziraphaleâs next lecture, his husband brings him his lunch (âyou forgot you lunch, Angelâ âoh, thank you, dear. Iâd forget my head if it wasnât attachedâ), and then Aziraphale kisses him right on the mouth in front of his whole class, watches his husband saunter out, and then turns back to his class with a wide smirk.Â
The End.Â