New Year’s Eve
the-dark-marks:
*looking sympathetic when Tristan talks about difficulties and then amused when subject turns to his mother* I’m glad. My father and I have reached a harmony too. *Tristan had to have heard of the elder Marks’ arrest*
*He’s heard some of it before, but he doesn’t interrupt* I was hoping Mercy would be here. Give her my love when you see her. Tell her to come get it herself next time. I would like to see her and Colin’s son too, but I had thought that might be stretching the expectation too far. Does the child favor Mercy or Colin more? How is Mercy adapting to motherhood? *approving, as he seldom would be when saying the following words* You have a soft heart. I’m glad you have retained it, and that you are looking out for those that lost at Knockturn. I heard about what happened when everyone else did. I can assure you I had nothing to do with it.
You stuck with the runes course then and it’s going well? You always did have a talent. I hope you’re enjoying it.
Do you think managing the family will be enough for you? *It’s never a question of whether Tristan would be up to the task in Jonathan’s mind. Tristan is more than capable*
I miss my wife. I miss law school though by now I am far ahead on the curriculum. I’ve traded more than I wanted to, not for the purpose I wanted to. Killing that girl, killing Evelyn Lockhart, was a mistake. I don’t claim it was an accident, but it wasn’t a murder either and I would take it back if I could.
I won’t say I would take back other decisions. I did what had to be done, what I was driven to in some cases, and I will continue to do so no matter how few I can make understand. I could have let Evelyn Lockhart climb out of that fountain however.
,,,But then perhaps she would have struck me in the back and she would be the one giving you regrets if she even felt them. Forgive me if I consider that reality poorer.
They do say distance makes the heart grow fonder. *The joke is cautious, as is his smile, but the longer the conversation continues the more comfortable he feels.*
He has Colin’s colouring, and his eyes, but he looks more like Mercy, I think. Has the Lavrentyev curls, too. Mercy...she’s doing well with him. Better than she thought she would, from what I can tell. *She was as worried as he gets, sometimes, that their mother’s post natal depression would haunt her children, but she loves her son. Tris sees it in her face every time he goes to visit.*
I know you didn’t. *There’s not doubt in his face or his voice.* Knockturn Alley was meaningless destruction. There was no point to it but panic, and hurting people who’ve done nothing more wrong than carry a bad reputation in a long time. You’ve never done anything without reason. Mindless destruction isn’t you. *Even if he can’t yet grasp Jon’s reasons, he knows he has them, and that his choices are always justified, and logical. Knockturn Alley wasn’t. It was...angry.*
I am. I think I’ll keep doing it; keep up with the work I’m doing right now. I don’t think I could be content just taking over my grandfather’s responsibilities. You’re right, in that it wouldn’t be enough.
*He nods at the mention of Delphina - even Tris misses her, if just for the simplicity that was bickering with her. Life was easier when Delphina West was the greatest frustration in his everyday life - before freezing when Jon talks about Evie, blinking up at him, stuck for a moment.*
She never would have apologised. *It comes out as a whisper, and he swallows hard.*
She would have had no doubts it was the right and just thing to do, and considered any grief on my part just more proof that I tried to kill her when we were teenagers. Evie was...she didn’t deserve to die, and I loved her, but she was never going to be my friend again.
I don’t know which reality would have been better. I loved her, but you...I’ve known you since I was toddling. You’re more my brother than Josef ever was. I can’t imagine a world without you.
*His next breath shudders, and his fingers itch with the urge to rub at his face with the heels of his hands, but he resists.*
I don’t understand any of this, why all of this is happening. I feel like I’m going crazy, sometimes, worrying about you and then about Roxanne, remembering Evie and the memorial and then hearing Roxanne talk about the people on Knockturn Alley like they don’t mean anything.
Please. You promised you’d explain this to me, or explain what you could, your intentions, at least. That you’d tell me the why of it.











