Just Getting Things Off My Chest. @triumph0706-blog - Tumblr Blog

I’m not one for petty. I don’t like hurting others, seeing them squirm. But sometimes I have this feeling that if I swiped the rug out from under someone else like they do to me, I will feel better. Everyone has a bully inside, mine only likes to come out when I am hurt. When does yours show?

riversawaken

Stop thinking about everything so much, you’re breaking your own heart.

Unknown (via riversawaken)

You're like a ghost. You come and go. You randomly thrown things and break glasses. I'm scared to see you, but at the same thrilled. The experience leaves me with chills, and I can never fully understand why I let you live here. You say these walls do not contain you, and yet you cling to them as if you're a wart. The more I pick at you, the more you retaliate. You embed into the walls as you scream that you don't want to be there. Ghosts don't know how to move on. Neither do you.

If you can honestly look at someone, who is crying on the floor because you have kicked the shit out of them, and not feel any remorse or sympathy, then you my friend are a giant piece of shit. Also, you are a complete psychopath, go see a fucking therapist. There is never any excuse to hurt someone else because you are upset with them.

You could spend your whole life trying for people who think your not worth a dime. I wonder every day what you would say if I died. How fucked up is that, for me to think that that's the only way to get your sympathy. And yet, some how, you've stolen all of mine. I hate myself for loving you like this. So unconditionally, even as you tell me you hate me, that you don't love me anymore. You even went as far as to say you hope something really bad happens to me. It made me want to die, hearing you say that. I can't justify this anymore. You promise so much, and I always come up empty handed. Then you wonder why I can't speak to you without venom in my words. It's not really venom though, it's the just the constant rejection coming out. Not just you, but through my whole life. I thought you would be the one to fix it, but it seems to be reversed. You've grow so much because I've lifted you up. I want you to reach your full potential, you deserve everything in life. So why don't you want that for me? Why can't you help be my wings? People probably think in stupid to depend of someone so much, but if you ever felt love- no, if you've ever felt loss, or rejection, or if you've ever been truly alone, you would understand why I love you so much. You'd understand why I miss the love you used to have for me.

I could feel a million different things, and not one of them would matter to you.

You make a funny face when you lie. It looks some where in between I'm caught and I'm innocent. You'll stand your ground, even when you have no ground to stand on. The holes in your stories are the empty floors beneath your feet, and I'm no longer a hand to pull you up.

Do you ever look at yourself and think 'what did I do to contribute to that?' Someone I was very close to when I was going through my teen depression, someone who helped me so much, killed themselves. Three years ago. Three years, and some how, I never noticed. It makes you wonder what kind of person you really are. How selfish can you be not to notice the passing of a friend? And remember when you rejected them? Did they think about that as they lay dying? We're you in their thoughts, all tangled in the bad memories and the hate? Maybe, you will never know. They are gone, and so is your chance. And you only get one, so now what?

Lately I’ve been told I have to stay happy, but what if I can’t do that anymore? What if even the sound of the word makes me cringe, like the name of an ex lover. Am I supposed to pretend? People will say obviously not, that I shouldn’t hide my true feelings. Yet, what if letting go hurts others. Aren’t I supposed to care? There are so many questions of right and wrong, yet nobody has answered me. I’ve prayed, read books, talked to others like me. And they all say the same thing. Nobody knows. I’m not sure how I would’ve answered either, had I been asked these things. Some answers come with time. Others don’t come at all.

Just want to say that it's totally funny when people lie to cover up their embarrassment 😂 just admit that shit, and move on! We are all a little freaky baby, no shame 😜

You end it all the time, but what would you do if I actually ended it all. What if I put my foot down and started saying no. I don't know what you would do if I told you to leave. Maybe that's why I haven't said it yet. I'd like to think its out of love, because I honestly couldn't imagine my life without you. I think you would be okay without me though. I mean, you said you are sick of me, isn't that proof enough? And who decides when enough is enough? You, or me? Because I have reached my limit a thousand times, and yet, here I am, wishing for your embrace. Needing your lips, your comforting warmth. You give me life, and you also take it away.

Do you think it's fair to be told 'I love you so much, I'm going to marry you and spend the rest of my life with you.' Just to be told and hour later that you are worthless and that will never happen. It's even worse when you love someone so deeply, and they say all of these bs things to you, and everything is ripped out from under you ever day. Why do I put up with this? Why can't I take charge and say stop or leave? Because love isn't like that. You could shove a huge knife in my back, and I will take it out, turn around, and cook you a nice dinner. I want to be strong for myself, but I can't. I just can't.

People always want you to be strong. And you can cry, but after the first time, it's old. They start to think 'why aren't they just doing something about it?' 'Everyone is capable of running their own life's.' Some people aren't. Someone may need help. We all need support in our lives, at one point or another. We need those tiny gaps of relief in there, so you can recharge your strength and get some kind of comfort. There isn't a person in this world who doesn't need someone. Don't be afraid to ask for help. If you need to be picked up, there is always someone with open arms waiting for you somewhere. People may always want you to be strong. That doesn't me you have to be.

#strengthinnumbers #youarenotalone #weallneedsomebodytoleanon

There are days when I give a shit, And days when I care for nothing at all. Sometimes I feel like such a big part of the world, But some days I feel very small. I have determination one second, And the next it's off on the run It's like fighting a war, And not knowing what you're really fighting for. I am inside my head a lot, Thinking and planning every move. Inner me is always there, I never feel alone. Does that make me crazy, Lonely, Or smart. I could never really tell the three apart. -hmm

Mirror image

When you point a finger at someone else, your really point three at yourself. Take a good look in the mirror, because you'll see all of your answers there.

Everyday feels like in damned if I do, and I'm damned if I don't. Negativity is more poisonous than air pollution, and effects everyone ten times as much. What's more important, mental health, or physical?

Ya know what's really annoying. Someone who always has to be right. No matter what, all the time.

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