Do I Really Need A Title? Stand up to the man.

So I really just reblog things that I think are cool, and that's about it. Don't be a stranger, I'm always open to asks!

[abrikazam]

they're morons, your honor

[cl3rks]

Burn Notice. [S1.E1: Pilot.]

[platypusisnotonfire]

This is legitimately how I’ve broken into a thousand places like just act like you’re meant to be there and if someone actually ends up calling you out on it just be super confused

[platypusisnotonfire]

#I would be an excellent pentester and actually have considered it as a job many a time#when I was a kid (7-14ish) my grandmother was in the hospital a lot and I was a bored kid that no one was really watching#and we spent days and days at the hospital over the course of those years#so I’d wander around and it became a challenge to see where it could get into without gettting caught#and the answer is basically everywhere#like ther is no legit reason for an 11 year old to be in the morgue but I was tall for my age and I would carry a cup of coffee#and look irritated to be there like someone woke me up for this#and no one would question me#people would ask where are you headed and if you just exhaustedly point through a security door 97% of the time they will swipe their card#-and open it for you

I want to add that I don’t make a habit of this now that I am a law abiding adult, but recently I accidentally did this again. Having been used to having my run of hospitals and walking basically anywhere as a child, I was visiting a friend in the hospital just before covid and I was legitimately exhausted and carrying a coffee cup cuz it was like 5:30am or something dumb, and I went to leave and get to the bottom floor and i’m like “this is not the lobby” and I walked around for a bit and people kept holding doors for me so I traveled through many corridors, and nothing looked familiar, and then I realized every single door was a key card swipe and everyone had mag-stripe badges with varying security levels and I realized I had gotton onto a staff elevator with the staff, who had swiped their card to go down into a high-security area of the building, and people had just been letting me through all these security doors.

So then I had to out myself and be like “Um I accidentally broke into you high-security wing, please show me the door, I’m literally just trying to leave this hospital” and I had to get like searched and stuff. 

And what was funny was that while I was blissfully walking around assuming I belonged, No one questioned ANYTHING and in fact, were violating protocols left and right to let me through, but the VERY SECOND I realized I was not where I was supposed to be and let that show on my face, like three people in the hall confronted me. 

So the take away is, be confident that you belong, look exhausted and like you don’t want to be there, and carry a cup of coffee. It will open pretty much all doors.

@clutchkuza I feel like you need to hear this lol

[i-am-corbin-dallas]

No joke, Burn Notice is a great show. If you like Leverage, give Burn Notice a try (its available on Hulu and Prime iirc) and frfr, confidence and an excuse are all you need to get around places

[disasterlarper]

This works I accidentally broke into someone’s whole ass home a month or so ago and uhhh it went fine because I’m short white and VERY CONFUSED

[echodrops]

One time while I was in Rome, I was busy admiring the ruins and not paying attention to signage, got lost, and ended up in some kind of archaeological dig or restoration. Not knowing it was off-limits (having missed all signage, as previously stated), I started peeking around all the stone stuff, wandering off the path, and most importantly (to this story), poking around in a hole that had been dug into the ground. I was careful not to touch anything, but still, clearly (to anyone who wasn’t as oblivious as me) this was not a place a tourist was meant to be.

I finally attracted the notice of someone who was meant to be part of this restoration project when I came back up from the hole. He quickly came over to ask me, in Italian, what I’m sure were the very normal questions of “Who are you?”, “What are you doing here??”, etc.

Problem: I do not speak Italian.

My brain’s solution: Quick, what language do we speak that’s close?! 

And that is how I wandered up out of a hole in a Roman ruin without warning and began speaking ancient Latin to an archaeologist.

This man’s face went through 15 different absolutely floored expressions in ten seconds, like you could physically see him going through the thought process of “Have I encountered a ghost from ancient Rome? No, ghosts aren’t real. But if ghosts not real, how Latin??? Fellow researcher??? Supposed to be here???”

So this is the story of how I was allowed to walk away without issue at all after blatantly trespassing upon the ruins of ancient Rome, because if you speak Latin, where else would you belong?

[queerlyglittering]

Both literally and figuratively:

When in Rome, do as the Romans do.

[starpeace]

bad star wars oc idea: a sith who finds out that the jedi think falling to the dark side shows weakness, and gets so pissed off that they insist on returning to the light solely to prove they can

[starpeace]

sith: i will destroy you. i am stronger than you will EVER be

jedi padawan they captured, panicking: oh yeah? then how come you aren’t even strong enough to come to the light? huh? checkmate, buddy!!

sith:

sith: fuck

[mandaloriandin]

How dare you hide this in the tags

You are absolutely right that is comedic genius

[itched]

[bleeemper]

i love this so much

[nerdgasrnz]

#she/her but in like a way where you look at a majestic ship not like a woman (via @exeunt-pursued-by-a-bear​)

[shoeboxgoblin]

Wonder Woman was a great movie for equal opportunity eye candy.

Straight guys and gay girls can enjoy gal gadot in armor.

Gay guys and straight girls can enjoy a mostly naked Chris pine

Bi/pan people get to enjoy both

And if you’re ace like me, well. She threw a tank with her bare hands, and that’s as good as it gets

[illogical-bullshit]

I really like this post.

[rotten-to-the-applecore]

My favorite part about Megamind, is that he literally Grew Up on Earth around humans, but is still confused about human culture and etiquette

[justkingwolf]

#so did I he's not special

[fuck-customers]

I present to you, literally my favorite yelp review at the SmartPet I used to work at. It’s called CLOSING for a reason people

[smitethestate]

The person who locked the doors in their faces is my hero.

[nocontextpsych]

[camreapher]

JUST LETTING Y'ALL KNOW WHERE THIS BLOG STANDS.

[yafavmilf]

Reblog every time it hits my Dash

[softlenaluthor]

[whitepeopletwitter]

[injuries-in-dust]

Every question they get wrong they lose more money, from their current savings, to one million.

The questions are all things ordinary people should know.

“Whats the cost of a loaf of bread?”

“What’s the minimum wage?”

And then we move on to practical demonstrations later,

“change this car’s tire”

Or even, “change the bag on this vacuum cleaner.”

And the final question should probably be “how much tax should your company be paying?”

[khadij-al-kubra]

And the losing contestants have to donate the monetary diffrence to a cause of the audience’s choosing

And the audience is all lower middle class

[pandaredpanda]

man we really out here wanting to shoot at the 1%’s feet and watch them dance about like monkeys aint we lmao

[pancakeke]

members of Congress seem to wear masks with sports logos a lot. they should have masks with logos of the companies who give them money, that way we know who owns them. like NASCAR drivers.

[pancakeke]

[evilvarric666-archive]

Ok am I, stupid or do a fair portion of the lyrics to Kiss From A Rose just not make any sense at all

[evilvarric666-archive]

Why do your eyes get "larger" when it snows. What the fuck is a gray. Seal. Seal I am talking to you. Seal.

[evilvarric666-archive]

this is hilarious actually.

[whitepeopletwitter]

[curls-cat]

My favorite thing about Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries is that it’s not ‘Phryne Fisher upsets the entire world around her with her antics,’ it’s ‘Phryne surrounds herself with equally fascinating individuals and they all turn society upside-down.’ The idea isn’t that Phryne Fisher is some kind of ‘not like other girls’ woman that society can’t handle, it’s that she’s a particular kind of loud, world-changing type of woman who attracts other people who think like she does.

[scruggzi]

Also the show never undermines other women like Dot or Mac for taking very different approaches to life. Mac is never put down for being reserved and private where Phryne is vivacious and gregarious. Dot’s traditional feminine skills like cooking and sewing - which Phryne pointedly does not have - are celebrated and often hold important keys to solving the mystery. Even Rosie, who could easily be vilified as Jack’s ex, is clever, ambitious and motivated by misplaced concern for him rather than petty jealousy.

Be like Phryne: support other women always!

[twitblr]

THE headline of all headlines

[gif87a-com]

[mmmskulljuice]

slug: hmmm… plant: *chawmp* slug: ah I see. no thank you.