Broken Strings @troutyevans - Tumblr Blog

Hold me tight || Sitty

Kitty: maybe his relationship was a bad idea? No, it certainly was, but perhaps if he hadn't been in a relationship she also wouldn't have figured out what she wanted. Her mind swirled with how she has already put herself out there. How her publicist was already looking at names of people she could be paired with for events. She knew all about the pop stars with singles coming out soon that she could walk a carpet with. Still, all she wanted was the guy in front of her. The guy who cared enough about the fame but the one who found pleasure in other things. "Since when have you been good at faking anything?" Even with their jobs he brought an authenticity to a role that showed he wasn't faking something. "I wasn't planning on leaving even if we didn't have this conversation," she admitted, the fact that she had been drinking not one she had forgotten about. She leaned against him as he pulled away, noticing his smile. How was it that her spirits could be lifted just by his one smile. She knew that she wanted him, Sam biting his lip didn't help at all. "I think that's what we did wrong the first time. There's nothing more that I want than to shove the fact that she's not the one your chose and as much as I want her to know that she's a subpar model with about two weeks left in her career, I'm trying to change. And I think that includes how we face this." She didn't mention the word relationship in fear of jinxing it as it was. "I don't care who knows about us later on but I just want to keep this under wraps while we figure out everything and before anyone else can have an opinion about it." She turned to face Sam and brushed her fingers down his temple. "I didn't fight hard enough for us, and I should have."

Sam: knew that he had never been good at faking anything, at least not around her. “Not around you at least,” he replied, “but I have gotten better because if I wasn’t I’m pretty sure,” he wasn’t sure on what to call the relationship he was in, “I wouldn’t have dated her as long as I was.” Sam knew that there was one girl for him, and it always had been, even if most people didn’t understand that. A smile played over his lips, and a small sigh left them, “good because I don’t know if I could have let you go.” It was an easy confession, most of the time he was good at that stuff, even if words sometime didn’t sound the way he wanted them too. He hummed and nodded his head, “when we’re ready I’m gonna be screaming about it from the roof top or some other place but first we’re going to actually have a good relationship, a solid one.” As long as they managed that and knew what they wanted and where they stood it wouldn’t be a problem going public, the last time it was out almost before they had realized what was happening. Sam leaned into her touch, “yeah, you let me know when you’re ready to tell the world,” he whispered, “but now, let’s move from this couch to bed and let’s snuggle.”

#ch #ch: 004

Hold me tight || Sitty

Kitty's: entire body still tingled. His breath on her skin causing even more goosebumps. "This isn't who you are." She pulled away some wanting to look into his eyes. "I want to be with you," she started, making sure that he understood that part. Kitty hated seeing someone else with the man she knew she was in love with. The blonde had never been one that knew how to share. As far as she was concerned Sam had her heart so it was only fair that she had his. She wanted to remind people just how happy she had made him. She wanted to remind everyone, but Sam especially that this girl wasn't right for him. She was. Still she didn't want to become the girl that everyone knew she could be. Kitty wanted to be the girl who had grown. Running her hands through Sam's hair the way she typically did she stopped. "You don't break other girl's hearts just for sport." Had she made him change? "You don't just walk out on someone because there's greener grass." She looked away. "You don't cheat." She felt a pain in her body knowing what she was doing. "I want to be happy with you too." She stopped, letting the words sink in. Her hand giving his a squeeze she didn't want him to let go of her, emotionally or physically. "I love you." Finally admitting the words aloud that she had denied herself for a long while she felt her heart race thinking that maybe he wouldn't say the same. "I love you, and I can't let you go."

Sam: let out a breath, he knew that she was right. This, this wasn't who he was, he wasn't the guy that cheated, or jumped between girls. And the only reason why actually had the relationship he had, was so he could move on, or pretend to move on until it happened. "I know but," he closed his eyes, "but I also know how I feel about you and yeah maybe this whole relationship was a bad idea but I thought I could fake it until I make it," he confessed. And it would have been so easy to just say no, no, they weren't right for each other if they were, then they would have stayed together, but Kitty was saying everything he wanted to hear, everything he needed to hear. Sam closed his eye, "you love me?" he asked, a smile played over his lips, as he opened his eyes, and he wrapped his arms around her pulling her closer, "I love you too," he whispered, "stay the night, please," he said as he pulled back, "we won't do anything just stay and tomorrow I'll fix what I need to fix." Sam bit down on his lip, "but y'know we can like flaunt this right away 'cos that's gonna look super bad but I wanna be with you. And I'm not letting you go you're gonna be stuck with me. I'm gonna fight for you. For us. Even if you star to doubt us 'cos I know we can make it."

#ch #ch: 004

Hold me tight || Sitty

Kitty: had to stop. There wasn't supposed to be a time where she was kissing on him. She wasn't supposed to excuse her behavior. Kitty was supposed to be his friend. Hearing that he was happy gave her pause. Her world darkened and filled with color all in the span of a few seconds. "With her. You're supposed to be happy with her." Moving off of him she could feel her stomach tighten. "You were supposed to be moving on. We both were." Still she looked at him adn knew there wouldn't be a time where she wanted to move on from him. "I'm not going to answer what I would be doing or what would happen if you were single." Her eyes going back to meet his. "Because you know what would happen. You wouldn't be free. We would probably be back together by now. I would be back in my spot on our bed. I wouldn't have to think about how I can't do what I want because some mediocre model has the title I should have." Kitty paused knowing she had said too much. "I wouldn't have to worry about all of this because what you want to happen would be happening." Kitty couldn't be the other woman. The one that he slept with and then didn't come back to. "I get it, I shouldn't have let you free. I should have fought for what we had but that's not what happened. I have to move on just like you did." She knew that this wasn't the reaction he was hoping for. Seconds passing without her rambling she looked back at Sam. "Would you be with someone else if we were together?"

Sam: hadn’t wanted to stop, but he knew that it was the right thing to do. And yes, he was happy, in that moment, he was happy with her. He had always been happy with Kitty. Sam was well aware of the fact that he was supposed to be happy with his girlfriend, that he only had because he tried to move on, and at least if he had a girlfriend he could pretend that he had moved on. But moving on wasn’t something he had done, or even wanted. He knew that Kitty was it, she was it. Sam knew what would happened if they were both single, and yes, a part of him wanted to hear her say what would have happened. “I know,” he whispered, “and maybe that’s what I want,” he closed his eyes, nuzzling his nose against her neck, and he took a deep breath. He opened his eyes, “you know all you had to do, still have to do, is just to say it,” Sam began, he took his lower lip between his teeth, “say that you want this, that you want us, that you want us to fight,” Sam said, he needed to hear more than she just had said, “and I can’t move on,” he said, “if I had do you really think I would have kissed you tonight?” he asked, “or us sleeping together would have happened?” he asked. “You know I wouldn’t cheat on you,” he said, “and I know that we can’t actually do this until it’s over with her.” Sam closed his eyes, “so if you really want us to fight for us, tell me, and I’ll do it. I’ll do what I need to do,” he reached for her hands, linking their fingers together, “tell me that you want us, that you want to fight because I want to be happy. With you. I want to be happy with you.”

#ch #ch: 004

Hold me tight || Sitty

Kitty: "Or they're lively to rope the newly found nlove into their life of crime." Kitty continued on this conversation as a way to distract herself from what she really wanted. His lips on her, for him to touch her in ways he hadn't in a while. She wanted him. The fact that he had just said she had helped him figure out what he wanted only made her want him more. Then again, was she what he really wanted? Or was it this new girl? Would he be almost kissing her if the roles were reversed? The way his thumb. Brushed over his sensitive skin made her heart stop. How was it possible for him to have her like this? She wasn't this girl. She wasn't the girl who got butterflies. She was the girl who didn't show emotions. SHe was the girl that people saw on television and on campaigns but who they never figured out. Grabbing hold of his shirt she could feel his toned abs. His body only affecting the reaction in hers. She wanted this, but knew what it would mean for Sam. "I want you to." She placed her hand beneath his shirt before pulling away. Pressing a kiss to his jawline she continued down his neck. If he had to explain to his girlfriend he could always say that she kissed him and not the other way around. "I can't make you a cheater. That's not who you are." Still she wanted this. She wanted him. They had played this game for too long. "You're happy." Now she stopped and sat up. The sound of Kourtney Kardashian yelling at her sisters about how she thought their monther had treated them playing on the tv, long forgotten. "I'm not going to mess that up for you." Biting her lip she looked back at him. She loved him, why couldn't she have figured that out sooner. Why did she have to set him free? "Tell me you're happy."

Sam: let out a small sigh. He knew that this wasn’t something that they would agree on. And he knew what he wanted, her. He wanted her. It was almost too easy to get lost in her eyes, especially when they were lying like this, it had been a long time since they had. “I believe in the power of love, that you’d want to change for the better if you had the chance.” Sam bit down on his lower lip, his breathing was shallow, a groan left his lips, as he heard her. This was dangerous, because if he gave in, well he wasn’t sure on what that would mean for them. Sam tilted his head to the side, giving her better access to his neck, his hands ran up and down her back, fingers running through her hair. All he wanted was for them both to be honest. “Yeah, I’m happy,” Sam agreed, “but who said you’d mess anything up for me?” he asked, one hand cupping her cheek, as he looked at her, “I am happy, I’m happy now. Right here right now.” He locked his eyes with hers, Sam licked his lips, “if I was single what would you think would happen?” Sam asked, just focusing in on Kitty. “I know what I want to happen,” he licked his lips, “I want it to happen now too,” he confessed.

#ch #ch: 004

Hold me tight || Sitty

Kitty: "No, what I'm saying is that people in jail should fall in love with people that are in jail with them or fall in love with someone prior to or after they have served their debt to society. Everyone should have someone love them. Even if that person isn't me." Now she bit her lip wondering if he would say anything about having been in love with her. Maybe that one little thing would keep her holding on. Or if he didn't say anything maybe she would finally let him go. "Do you really think that? The whole cliche of letting someone go?" Kitty sat up, now wanting to look deep into the eyes of the man she had let go. "What if they just move on? Were they never really yours?" Kitty tried pretending like she wasn't asking about them. After all, who was she to ask something like that when she had been the one to call everything off. Trying to also lighten the mood she glanced at his lips again. "That still doesn't mean that I'm not the best." Looking back at Sam she smirked a bit. Her long blonde hair covering part of her face as she sat up against Sam. She needed some distance again, but still wanted to feel him beneath her. "If I wanted you to prove it I would have said so." She looked down before taking a breath, probably shattering Sam's hopes again in one small sentence. "But if you want to kiss me, or show me how good you are...you should just show me."To tease a bit she leaned in, her hand on his chest sliding down towards his abs like they had plenty of times before.

Sam: “Didn’t sound like it,” Sam replied, “but if they actually fall in love with someone when they’re in prison that like lives a normal life, aren’t they like less likely to commit a crime again?” Sam asked, he may be a bit naïve but he wanted to believe the best in people. He closed his eyes for a couple of seconds, his hands resting on her back. “Yeah,” Sam replied, “you can’t like keep someone that don’t wanna be there,” he said, meeting her eyes, “of course they were yours.” He locked his eyes with Kitty’s, “like you helped them to get to the point to know what they wanted. You’re like what they needed to actually figure out what they want.” Sam knew he had a girlfriend, or kind of girlfriend, but he also knew deep down that he would always have a soft spot for Kitty. Sam bit down on his lip, “I’m way better at kissing.” He wasn’t going to give this up without a fight, “that’s what you think,” he moved some of her hair away from her face, smiling at her. He needed to know what she wanted, there had been ex-sex, awesome ex-sex, more than once, and he couldn’t read her, at times he was sure he was just supposed to kiss her because that was what she wanted, other times it was like he just should hide. He closed his eyes, trying not to think about what she was doing, willing his body to not react to what she was doing, but Kitty knew what to do to get a reaction from him, he cupped her cheek, thumb brushing over her lower lip, his breathing was shallow. He shouldn’t do this, he shouldn’t, it wouldn’t lead to anything good, “tell me no if you don’t want to,” Sam whispered, as he leaned up, his lips, almost brushing against Kitty’s, “tell me that you don’t want me to kiss you.” He licked his lips, “if you don’t I’ll kiss you.”

#ch #ch: 004

Hold me tight || Sitty

Kitty: "If they're in jail, they shouldn't be able to fall in love with someone that they need internet access to talk to." Kitty's republican black and white ideals on display. "It would be infecting our society. If they want to orange is the new black their relationship that is one thing, but actually online dating is another. They're there to serve their debt to society." With his arm around her she felt her body relax all the while fighting the feeling. He possibly couldn't feel her hesitation, her freezing at the feeling of being with him. The small piece of her that knew what it was like to actually be in love with Sam. She was glad that he hadn't called her out on her comment, or perhaps he didn't know that the love that she was refering to was the love she had for him. Instead of fighting the feeling she relaxed, putting all of her weight on his chest. "Maybe if it was a real relationship like you say, they shouldn't break up in the first place." She couldn't find his eyes now, knowing that if she even looked up that she would break. Instead she spoke into his chest as she took in more of his familiar scent. This was not the conversation she was supposed to be having with her ex. Clearing her throat and knowing that she needed to do a complete three-sixty she poked hard at Sam's ribs. "We all know I'm the better person to work with. I can be professional, and prepared." She didn't even hide the underhand shade she gave him about being prepared at least when it came to lines. It was almost like Kitty could remember any lines thrown her way almost instantly. Her lines etched into her memory even better than the countless choreographed dances she had once performed. "And if I have to work with you at least you get a pretty bitching scene partner. For one I'm probably a better on scene kissing partner than any other girl you're going to have to share a scene with." Now her comment came out muffled, unable not to at least look up at him a bit. His lips being the first thing her eyes fixated on thanks to the flick of his tongue. Dammit, now here she was thinking about kissing him.

Sam: ”Okay,” Sam began, knowing fully well by now, that he and Kitty at times had a different look on what love was, and meant. “So what you’re saying is that people in jail doesn’t deserve to be loved or fall in love?” he asked. It was just something he wanted to know, Sam was sure that everyone deserved a chance to fall in love, but then again, some people were probably not able to actually be in love with someone. “Yeah, but even if they have a computer with internet access they’re still servicing their debt to society as you put it.” It felt great to just hold Kitty like this, it was like old times, and somehow it felt more relaxing with her than when he did this with his girlfriend. He shouldn’t be comparing but it was hard not to. “Sometimes you need to breakup to grow as people and then you’ll find your way back to each other,” Sam said, “like if you love someone set them free if they return they’re yours to keep.” His finger ran up and down Kitty’s back, eyes closed for a few seconds just relaxing. “Sure, I can be that too but I’m also like super awesome improvising stuff.” Sam always had a hard time remembering his lines, it took him days to learn a script and he hated major rewrites, and there were times he was almost sure that Kitty had a photographic memory. He shook his head, “well, I wouldn’t actually know since I haven’t actually had that many kissing partners to share scenes with.” But Sam knew he was a good kisser, so that had to count for something. His eyes, met hers, and yeah, he shouldn’t think about kissing her, but he would be kissing her if he just moved his head a little, and it was just so close, and he really wanted to kiss her, but he couldn’t he had a girlfriend, even if wasn’t that serious, at least not yet. “Yeah but let’s be honest here y’know I’m an awesome kisser so any on screen kiss I’m in will look awesome.” He took a deep breath, looking at Kitty, "I can prove it right now how awesome I am at onscreen kissing."

#ch #ch: 004

Hold me tight || Sitty

Kitty: "There are worse ones to be on. There's a new reality tv show about falling in love with someone that was in jail. Where they literally meet their jailbird through a sick online dating site for total creeps. Would you prefer that one?" She leaned closer as if to tease him, loving tha there was still that air of playfulness between them. "Okay so if someone were to just unexpectedly break up with you you would take that over someone ghosting you?" She now asked for herself, asking him to actually admit that she had done the right thing even if it was out of those two options. "I don't want to play the game," she almost shut down feeling that twinge of jealousy starting to rise in her when he kept mentioning what he had. "If I fall in love again then I don't want it to be because I've got some tv producers lining up my dates. I want the real thing." Not even noticing her slip up she continued. "Just because she's a pro dancer doesn't mean that she's better than me. It means I had something better to do that pays me more money." She slid her hands down his arms. "Besides, if I had decided to take a dancing job you wouldn't have met me or wouldn't be working with me now."

Sam: laughed, it seemed to be a reality show about pretty much anything, “wait, so you’re telling me that people that have been in jail isn’t allowed to fall in love?” asked the tone teasing, he knew for sure that wasn’t something he was interested in, and probably wouldn’t watch it. He wrapped and arm around her, holding her a bit closer, all he wanted to wrap both of his arms around her, and pull her down, so she could lay on top of him, just like it used to be. “Yeah,” he replied, “at least if it was a semi-serious relationship, like one or two dates, fine ghost me but if we’d been together, I want a real breakup not someone that’s running scared away from it.” Maybe this wasn’t what they were supposed to talk about, and did this mean that if they hadn’t worked together, would Kitty just have stopped talking to him so he would have to figure out himself that they weren’t dating. He wanted to tell her that she would fall in love again, but that also meant that she had been in love, and Sam was still in love, of course he was still in love with her, no matter how hard he tried not to. “Okay, if you say so,” he replied, maybe he should ask his agent to try and get him on to the show and make sure that Brittany was his dancer. “yeah, true,” Sam replied, and he had been close to add, and then I wouldn’t have gotten my heartbroken, but it wasn’t fair, “or more like you wouldn’t have gotten to work with me,” he said, and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her on top of him, his tongue flicking over his lips, as he met her eyes, maybe this had been a bad idea. Sam was sure that he could feel her breath against his lips, and if he just leaned up a little, he could kiss her, but he shouldn’t. But it was so tempting, maybe if she just showed a bit of interested he would, but he shouldn’t, he had a girlfriend, but Kitty looked so kissable. Stupid emotions, and stupid heart.

#ch #ch: 004

Hold me tight || Sitty

Kitty: Beginning to draw cicles on his shoulder she kicked him lightly by lifting her foot and hittings against his thigh. "My life isn't boring. It's more intersting than yorus is. I mean look at this place," she teased knowing that his house wasn't completely a mess. "It's like the beginning episode of queer eye." She tossed her hair back, leaning her upper body towards him. "In terms of breaking up with someone there's nothing better than ripping off the band aid or just completely ghosting them." She took a breath knowning that the first is what she had done with him. Unexpectedly she had ripped the band aid off when everything was going great. "Maybe at least give a hint that the relationship isn't working first. I mean, if there is something wrong with it that you think you can't fix. Putting it all on tv or in the public eye isn't something I've suggest." She licked hr lips, not even attempting to completely hide her emotions. Pushing them away she rolled her eyes. "If you're hinting that I should find a girlfriend you should know that I'm completely straight and if anyone wants two female actresses together it isn't me with someone else." She inhaled. "A boyfriend? Me being a bachelorette, not happening. At least the last part. Just because I'm not with someone yet doesn't mean I'm not moving on." She knew this was awkward talking to him about moving on when all she wanted was to lean in and kiss him, to tell him that she made a mistake, to be with him. "Brittany would be the one making you look good. Even then she's still not as good a dancer as I am." Her rival streak showing when it came to Brittany.

Sam: shook his head, and he was about to reach for her foot to make her stop kicking him. He looked around, and of course there was something for Kitty to say about it, Sam knew that it might not be the most fashion like house, or even the best designs, but it was home. “Really?” he asked, “so what you’re saying is that if I were on a reality show I’d be on queer eye?” he asked, “as long as they don’t mess it up too much sure, but I’d probably change it back ‘cos this is me.” Sam knew what he liked so that was what he had, and everyone knew that. “Of those things ripping it off, ghosting is like the worst thing you can do.” Sam looked down for a second, “like how do you just disappear and stop talking to someone, that’s just mean.” He ran a hand over his head, he knew that Kitty was right. His tongue flicked over his lips, as he watched her lips. Sam took a deep breath, “yeah, you’re probably right but you would be like the best at playing the game.” He closed his eyes, he might be dating someone, but that didn’t mean he had moved on, it was easier to fake it, than being honest and pine for Kitty when she had made it clear that she wasn’t interested. His hand slowly ran up and down her back. “Okay she’s way better than you if she wasn’t she wouldn’t be one of the pro dancers .”

#ch #ch: 004

Hold me tight || Sitty

Kitty's: skin covered in goose pimples just from him touching her. Her body betraying her in the simplest way. Not having reached for his hair completely she rested her hand on his shoulder. Her body wanting to be close to him in every way. The small twinge of jealousy still going when he said that that would mean that he was going to have a good time. There would have been no use in pushing the comment further. Further jabbing at his girlfriend would just mean that he would become upset. They were in a good place for now. This was what they had agreed to. Friends, no matter how much it was hurting her. She wasn't drunk just yet but the bit she had in the uber mixed with what she would have was sure to lead her past her limit if she dind't pace herself. "You're just lucky my character is really going to be in love with yours." She rolled her eyes as if her character wasn't already in love with Sam's. The way she was forced to act only making it harder on her emotionally. Taking a deep breath she gave Sam a dirty look. "No. One of the things I hate is that so many people are already in my life." She looked past thinking about how it was pressure from the public that had led to her decision of ending things with him. "I'm also not okay with being compared to a Kardashian. I want my life to get easier." Leaning against the couch a bit more as she closed her eyes to speak. Thinking of the life she now wanted she sighed. Thinking of how she would be with him if it hadn't been for the public scrutiny she didn't mention her thoughts. "Inviting cameras into your life is exactly how your life goes into flames or how you end your marriage." She took a bite of food to hopefully slow the alcohol taking over her system. Holding out a slice she waited for Sam to take a bite. "We can always put you on the bachelor. Worst case scenario you get stuck with a girl that is a stage five clinger or maybe dancing with the stars. Get you better dance moves, just never full on reality tv. You don't need everyone in your life either."

Sam: closed his eyes for a couple of seconds, he had no idea on why it always was so much easier to touch Kitty. The simplest thing just came naturally to him, he didn’t have to think about what he was doing. But with his girlfriend, his mind had to work almost overtime to do the most simple thing like rubbing her legs. That was not how a relationship was supposed to be, it was supposed to be easy and just flow. And they had agreed on being friends, so maybe he shouldn’t be rubbing her legs like this, but that was something friends could do, and friends could be snuggled up on the couch watching trashy reality TV. It was something he couldn’t do with anyone else, no one besides Kitty understood why liked it, he had tried to explain it but people just looked at him like he had more than one head. Sam shook his head, “Yeah, you’re lucky that Brad’s so lovable,” Sam replied, and at least he would be close to her, even if it was just acting, and that wasn’t what he was supposed to think about. A grin played over his lips when he saw the look on Kitty’s face, “Yeah, I mean you wouldn’t get one anyone they’d think your life would be too boring,” he laughed, shaking his head. “And we wouldn’t want that to happen.” Sam pressed his lips together, “or it would be a great way to end a relationship if you don’t know how to break up with someone.” Sam reached for another slice of the pizza taking a bite, knowing that he shouldn’t drink more, and that with every bite he took, he would have to spend more time at the gym. There was after all a lot of shirtless scenes coming up. “Okay, I don’t need bachelor I got a girlfriend maybe that’s for you,” he replied, a laugh leaving his lips, “and my dance moves are great but I mean if I got paired with Brittany on Dancing with the Stars I wouldn’t say no.”

#ch #ch: 004

Hold me tight || Sitty

Kitty: Not even bothered by her legs in his lap she even curled into him more, her body moving based on muscle memory more than what her mind was telling her. "I didn't mean cheap in the way that you don't know how to spend your money." Truth be told she had always been the bigger spender in their relationship. Then again, Kitty understood that Sam hadn't grown up with too much and helped his family while she had none of those obligations. "I meant cheap in the way where it probably doesn't take you much before someone gets to take you home from the bar." Even in her light joke she could feel the unintentional jab at his now girlfriend. Still not wanting to bring her up in their conversation she shook her head. "The studio should go back to not allowing you to grow your hair out." She shook her head in disapproval. "It looks like a tattered straw broom that someone just so happened to have flat ironed." Again she moved now her hands towards his hair. "It doesn't look like you sometimes." Kitty didn't want to sound romantic or even lovestruck before she snapped out of what she was saying and sat back against the couch. "I hate it." She continued about the hair before reaching for his drink. Taking a long drag of his beer she cringed after not having tasted beer in so long. "I guess we're both going to be over our drink limit soon," she admitted. "So maybe I am going to take you up on staying in your guest bedroom."Pressing play and fast forwarding some of the commercials she started on one of the trashy tv shows.

Sam: didn’t really pay attention to the fact that Kitty’s legs were resting on his lap, it was just what they always did, and it felt natural. Sam closed his eyes, and he knew that he should have known what Kitty had meant, to him, money was just something that was needed. Besides that, a gift always meant more to him if it was something he had wanted or he knew that the person receiving it had wanted it. Something from the heart meant more than something really expensive. “Well, maybe I like being cheap that way,” he replied, his tone light, “because then I know I’m gonna have a good time.” His hands ran up and down her legs, like they always had all the other times they were watching something like this. “But they wanted something different,” Sam replied, he knew what she meant, it had taken some time to get used to it, “and I think some changes are coming soon, since they told me not to get it cut,” a small smile playing on his lips, “but this is way better than a shaved head.” Sam wasn’t sure on how much they had had to drink, “sure, you can stay,” he said, taking another long drink from his beer, he was sure that he was going to go over what was supposed to be his limit tonight. His eyes moved to the TV in front of them, “if you got an offer doing a reality show would you do it?” he asked, “like have someone follow you around all the time.”

#ch #ch: 004

Hold me tight || Sitty

Kitty: As much as she had started using the word friend it still upset her. The word caused a knee jerk reaction. Her blood pressure raising even when she knew that she had no right to be upset. "Yep, just the couch," she teased moving her legs up to an angle just in case he did want to sit on the couch with her. "Sam, I know how to count, that's how I'll know." She laughed, all the while trying not to look towards him. "And you've always been a cheap date. After two you usually start showing signs of having had something to drink." Again the signs of her knowing him shone through in her words. "I never had to hold your hair back because you never really let it grow that long while we were together." Reaching for a slice of pizza Kitty cringed at the fact that she broke one of her own rules. Not talking about their relationship was supposed to be easy. Then again maybe avoiding the fact that they had been together was their main problem. He was moving on and that was that. "Maybe you knew that if you did let it grow out that I would have taken clippers to it while you were asleep." She reached her foot to move some of his hair with her sock covered toes. "Take bets? On watching trashy tv shows?" She shook her head. "The only thing you can really do is start a drinking game about it. Take a drink every time there's almost a fight."

Sam: As much as he and Kitty were friends, the word itself wasn't how he would use to describe them, but it wasn't up to him, they were after all more than friends. There was a part of him that wondered if they had ever been just friends. He sat down on the couch, pulling Kitty's legs into his lap, looking over at her. "Of course you'd call me cheap," he replied, "and I'm sure you can count but I can count too, and I can have more than a couple." It wasn't his fault that he really couldn't handle alcohol in larger amounts, "and my hangover depends on what I drink." Sam leaned back, "or maybe it had to do with the studio not letting me at that time," he replied, looking at her with a raised eyebrow. Sam laughed, "fine, let's do that," he said, reaching for a slice of the pizza, "oh, and you do know that I'll probably be over my allowed drinking limit then," he said, taking a bit.

#ch #ch: 004

Hold me tight || Sitty

Kitty: Being inside his apartment was sort of a deja vu. Everything was the way he had always had it. Messy but not too messy, homey but still a clear sign of being a bachelor. There had been plenty of times where she had woken up in his arms or with him nearby where she did feel like this was her home as well. Now she focused and tried remembering that it wasn't. Still there was the fact that she knew where everything was. She knew where all of his hiding spots were for condoms throughout the house, she knew where he tucked away photos of his family. Hell, she even knew just exactly where the light came in throughout certain rooms of the house. She pulled her hand behind her neck to pinch away at the tension she was feeling in her shoulders. "oh you mean as opposed to how someone else wants it, because I thought it was just going to be you and me tonight." Maybe a third person wouldn't be such a bad idea so long as it wasn't his new fling. She knew why she was upset but that didn't make it sting any less. If there were one more person in the room maybe things would be easier.

Taking off her jean jacket she revealed the rest of her outfit. Probably the most relaxed he had ever seen her post break up she figured there was no point in trying to impress Sam. If they were moving on the best way would be to make sure he saw her as nothing more than a friend. Friends didn't dress up in full makeup just to eat pizza. The blonde's extensions for the show were out, the makeup only enough to give a natural look and sweats just enough to show that nothing was going to happen. He had seen her in anything so now wasn't much of a difference. Sprawling out on the couch she made sure not to leave much room for him. "Looks like you're just going to have to hit the floor," she teased before sitting up to grab a blanket. "And I was serious about the two beer limit." A small slur that she hid by shutting up showing from the bit of drink she had taken in the cab. "I'm not holding your hair back if you decide to toss your cookies. We can be friends, but that's where I draw the line." There was that word again, leaving a sour taste in her mouth and even sounding awkward as she said it.

Sam: had worked hard on making sure that his apartment felt like his, and that it would feel like home. It might not had been as easy as he had hoped it would be but at the moment he was proud of it. There wasn't a lot that had changed from the time he and Kitty had been together, the biggest changes were that some of the photos of the two of them had been removed from the walls. Sam still kept them in a box in the back of one the closets, and as far as Sam knew no one knew about that box and that was how he wanted to keep things. A small sigh left his lips, it seemed like Kitty wasn’t going to let go of his slip up from earlier, “And I said I was sorry about that,” Sam replied, almost forcing a smile onto his face. “And it’s just going to be you and me,” he said looking at her, “she’s busy with some stuff.” Sam hadn’t paid that much attention to exactly what it was that his girlfriend, well he used that word in lack of a better one, was up to tonight, he was almost sure that it was some kind of red carpet event and Sam wasn’t comfortable to walk the carpet with her.

He shook his head, “I knew it,” he said plopping down on the floor trying his best to make sure that Kitty would have a hard time to see the TV, “and here I thought you wanted to spend time with a friend,” he said, looking over his shoulder, “but you’re just here for the couch, TV and the pizza,” he huffed, not being able to keep the laugh of his lips. He reached for a bottle, “and how will you know how many I drink?” he asked twisting the cap of the bottle off, “it’s not like you’re going to keep count, maybe I’ll fill them up with water and put the cap back on.” Sam took a sip, “and I haven’t puked from drinking in years, and you never held my hair back so I didn’t think you’d start now,” he reached for the remote putting the sound on, “So let’s start this, wanna make some bets?” he asked, looking at Kitty with a raised eyebrow.

#ch #ch: 004

Hold me tight || Sitty

Kitty: knew exactly why everything was bothering her. She knew that she wasn't over Sam. How could there ever be a time when she would be over him? Every time she was reminded of him moving on she felt a physical ache in her chest. As much as she wanted to shut off her emotions she couldn't. Every text, every time she had to look lovingly into his eyes or kiss his lips for a scene she wanted to tell him that she missed him. She wanted to tell him that she felt miserable without him. Still she didn't. If there was one thing that Kitty knew it was that she couldn't handle the pressure of a relationship along with her fame. It was that fact, the thought of failing at something she knew she never wanted to lose. This was what led her to buying Sam a pack of beer and heading to his house. At least as friends she knew she could have him. She knew that keeping him at arms length was better than not having him at all. The entire ride she looked over at the small flask she had packed in her purse. Knowing that she couldn't have an open container in the car she uncapped the top and took a quick gulp of alcohol. She could see the look of her driver. "What? You try going to your exes house sober."

Nothing else was said throughout the ride. Knocking at his door she inhaled deeply before ringing the doorbell. Her face tightened knowing that she had to be upset no matter how happy seeing him made her. "I'm only here to prove that we're okay." Her voice didn't say that things were okay but here she was. "Now take this." Shoving the six pack of beer into his chest she finally gave her arm a rest. "Now let me in."

Sam: wasn't sure on why it was bothering him so much that Kitty might not have come over. He was dating someone else, someone that was supposed to make him happy, and he was happy, or at least kind of. But it wasn't even close to how he had felt with Kitty. He knew that he shouldn't compare his relationships but it was almost impossible, since there was a chance, just a small one, that he still was very much in love with Kitty. And he knew that he needed her in his life, she kept him on his those, and joked with him, and he felt loved, at least most of the time, and as long as she was in his life, Sam could pretend that he was happy.

The knocking and the ringing of the doorbell brought him out of his thoughts, and he let out a small breath before he opened the door. A hand running over his head. "Okay," he never got a chance to say anything besides that before the sixpack was shoved in his hands, "sure," and he stepped to the side letting her in. "make yourself at home," he said, closing the door behind them, "and I was about to star the first episode." Sam made his way to the living room, sitting down on the couch, "and the pizza should be here in a few minutes. And I got it just like you want it."

#ch #ch: 004

Text: Kitty Wilde ⇄ Sam Evans

Kitty: I’m just going to get your beer first and then head over.

Sam: okay see you soon

#texts #text: 004

Text: Kitty Wilde ⇄ Sam Evans

Kitty: you want me to uber over to your place?

Kitty: Fine, but you're paying for it.

Sam: yes, do that.

Sam: I'll pay for it. Just let me know when you're here so I can pay for it.

#texts #text: 004

Text: Kitty Wilde ⇄ Sam Evans

Kitty: If I get tired I'm not sleeping in your guest room. I'll just go to my place. Your girlfriend isn't going to like the thought of you being around me and she'd probably be really upset if she knew you were offering up your guest room.

Sam: as long as you take a cab or something. and she knows my friends stays over.

#texts #text: 004

Text: Kitty Wilde ⇄ Sam Evans

Kitty: You mean a lot to me too.

Kitty: Fine but only 2 episodes. I'm already tired and I have a feeling that call time is going to be really early for us.

Sam: Okay. We can do 2 episodes. And you do realize that I got a guest room if you need to crash. I don't want you to get into an accident.

#texts #text: 004

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