Shrimpster Paradise

Livin' in a shrimpster's paradise

[segamascott]

[arcticbonobos]

this is my art:

[politijohn]

Source

For your anti-vax acquaintances…

[truls-the-shrimp]

I would like to inform you I talked to a man in his 50s who hadn't slept the previous night. I asked him why, and he told me he usually fall asleep to audiobooks and he had found The Hunger Games and listened to that. He skipped to the games begun, and it was too exciting for him to fall asleep and he listened to it the entire night.

[boy-and-girl-crazy123456]

It's crazy how giant squids and sperm whales just have like giant kaiju battles down in the deepest depths everyday and it's real

[tupperwareyoucanrunover]

The beginning of the 1994 iwtv movie always takes me out with the line “my wife had died in childbirth” because like no!! That’s not how Lestat died!!!

[jeanie-in-a-bottle]

when lestat and louis need to share a coffin after louis is turned and he literally askes if he can sleep in the closet is the funniest fucking scene of all time

louis : please please can I go back into the closet this is too gay

lestat lmao don’t you know what you are? ur gay

louis : not true.

lestat : literally get on top of me or else you’ll die.

louis : okay but just bcs ur handsome & intriguing.

which is a crazy situation for a book made in 1976, ahead of its time in so many ways, I would’ve killed for this to be in the movie

[truls-the-shrimp]

I am a big Interview With The Vampire fan and get so excited whenever it is brought up... Only for my heart to shrink and shrivel 3 times as I realize they talk about the TV show and not the movie/book.

[toskarin]

recently my elderly shattered-up phone started letting me charge it to 107% which I've been using to get let's just say a little bit extra out of it on long days

[toskarin]

added benefit that this makes it crazy warm and soft so I use it to warm up my coat when it's cold outside

[toskarin]

to be honest with you it's swollen as fuck and that's why I'm rocking with it

[ganurath]

Swollen batteries are incendiary explosives.

[toskarin]

this one's just a phone

[toskarin]

if it was a bomb and not a phone I couldn't make a call on it, but I can because it's a phone, although it will be to the fun department instead of the fire department

[pneeyrose]

respectfully, ma'am, phone and bomb are not mutually exclusive descriptors

[toskarin]

I'm not gatekeeping I'm just speaking from my presently lived experience

[chaos-otter]

When you start speaking from your formally lived experience, be sure to let us know!

[toskarin]

I already live every day with undue formality and noble grace

[toskarin]

I'm not a technician so I don't really see how this applies to me

[bakedbiscuit]

I genuinely can't tell if you're being stupid on purpose

[toskarin]

when you feel that way it's a sign that I'm being smart

[walnutbun]

OP your phone is literally about to explode.

[toskarin]

we've been over this, it's just puffy and I poke it with twigs when it gets too hot

[toskarin]

my mental health is splendid and my phone is fantastic why in the world would I kill myself

[st-just]

The Ottoman succession system is really up there in the list of historical phenomena that I would absolutely call bullshit if you included in a fantasy novel if it didn't actually work for hundreds of years in one of the most powerful states on earth.

[truls-the-shrimp]

You don't have to be born an only child to become one

[afloweroutofstone]

“If I’m homeschooling my kid, why should I have to pay taxes for public schools like everyone else?” You’re right. Homeschoolers should actually have to pay double taxes

[truls-the-shrimp]

I return to Tumblr to find hate mail...

A sad day

[truls-the-shrimp]

Digestable stories you should experience:

Blade Runner: The Final Cut

Roadside Picnic

A Song For Lya

[kaffeekatzer]

Tel me wich blogs you fellow (or I do scery ting)

o i see......let me figure out how........

[truls-the-shrimp]

[truls-the-shrimp]

Title

[truls-the-shrimp]

I googled sleeping difficulties an hour ago, and now I get ads for sleeping pills.

Thank you corporate spies for always looking out for me ❤

[tim-official]

ORC FACTS

the green color is not chlorophyll. they cannot usually photosynthesize. but sometimes they can

[the-orc]

my cousin lorbish can photosynthesize

[tim-official]

ORC FACTS

lorbish can photosynthesize