a-break to my-mind @tryingtobe-somebody - Tumblr Blog

my first date

in two days i have my first date ever. i dated before and even been in a relationship a few years but never had a first date. its with a girl and i never been with one. she's beautiful. every time i remember that i have a date i start to shake and the anxiety rises up.

it's very difficult because you want to impress them but also be fully yourself and i'm afraid that i'm not going to be able to do that.

i don't know how its going to go. wish me luck. im dying of anxiety. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

#life #confort zone #anxienty #existence #im so nervous #scared #date night #dating #wlw

yolo!!!!

#yolo #yolo i guess #life #life lessons #mindset #anxienty #workout

claimed, thanks.

#manifesting #manifesation #spirituality #spiritual journey #future #goals #life #existence #abundance #gratitude

being extremely positive isn't good for you

a few months ago i found myself trying to be in a better mental space, and wanting to stop being so negative and scared of everything so i started being e x t r e m e l y positive towards everything.

i was doing a big mental work to change the way my brain processes things (wich is and was in a negative mode) so i tortured myself into thinking positive and taking any negative thought like it was something dangerous and replacing it with a positive one (i was doing what i read everywhere i had to do with this thoughts). don't do that. or do. for me it didn't work.

having negative thoughts is normal. you can't be 100% positive, it's impossible and if someone is telling you it isn't, they're lying. that was my mistake, when i had a negative thought i was like "i'm doing something wrong" but i wasn't, and i couldn't understand it.

all of this toxic positivity ruined me and make me have even more negative thoughts and be sad again. you have to create a balance between the both of them, you can have negative thoughts and watch, process, and don't give them that much importance but let them live in your head. sure, you can replace it with a positive one but not before you acknolowged it and make sure you let it live, at least, a minute in your head.

i get to a point where i couldn't be sad or angry or in a bad state of mind because i was failing myself and that positivity that i had. whenever i feel a liiiiitle bit sad or any negative emotion i went and distract myself til i didn't feel like that. wrong. very wrong.

when you are getting better after not being in a good place mentally, it's sooo important that you accept your negative emotions, it's normal and doesn't mean that you're getting bad again. quite the opposite. the process is not linear. let yourself be sad, or whatever negative emotion you're feeling, don't repress that because it's going to come out some way or another and when you least expect it and can control it.

don't fall for this toxic positive that says you can't have negative thoughts.

#negative #positivity #positive thoughts #negative thoughts #negativity #emotions #feelings #thoughts #sad thoughts #state of mind #toxic positivity #toxic #life lessons #life

that feeling in your guts

23. twenty-three years old. what a weird age; i don't think i know anything, everything i thought i knew i don't know anymore. the only thing i can assure you it's that i think im losing my fucking mind.

i feel like i'm a kid, a teen and an adult. i don't know where i have to go, what to think, what to like, what to dislike... can somebody come and tell me those things and free my mind for a little bit?

i'm so lost i don't even kidding. my mind is blurry and i don't think i have a single clear thought in months. my eyes are tired from seeing things i don't like and being on my phone seeking attention from people i don't even want to be acknowledged by. my body aches from being static in one position all the time (that can be metaphorically understood). but the most uncomfortable feeling is that in your stomach that never goes away, that is there for telling you that everything is wrong and you're not where you want to be in life, and you don't like your hair, your nails, your thighs, your back, your nose, but also you don't like who you are personally, your way of speaking and the ways you express yourself, that you are always seeking for attention to feel better because the kind words that you can say to yourself, seems to not be enough, that you could be doing so much more in life, that time is going away and you're spending it being miserable, you don't like being vulnerable because it makes you seem weak, but you are weak and need that connection with someone that only being vulnerable can give you -but you can't be that way and you have to swallow all your feelings and they're going directly to that knot you feel in your guts. they're feeding it.

the world sometimes seems so dangerous and fragile. life seems like that and its feeding the feeling in my stomach, that i wish it could go away and that it can't stop reminding me that something (or everything) is wrong

i can't keep living like i'm about to burst in tears every day. i have to live my life. i wish something exciting (and good) happen to me for once.

i wish someday i could live without feeling like i want to disappear for a while. someday i will live my life without fear and will live with happiness, excitement and joy. that's a promise to myself.