The Secret History as Vines

Mandy. She/her/hers. Big Donna Tartt stan. Vine Historian.

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She’s here! I made some delightful (shuffle friendly) playlists on spotify that are a bit silly and you can listen to your results.

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Are we in the mood for a little uquiz this evening ladies?

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Are you pure of heart, dumb of ass? do you have no thoughts but thot energy? are you a golden retriever personified? idk man find out.

alright girlies and gays I impulsively made a uquiz find out which classical literature himbo you are

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Me: looks up "plus size dark academia" on Pinterest

Pinterest:

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Why doesn't TSH fandom talk more about how Charles Macaulay will adopt an animal at the drop of a hat. There's a greyhound that's about to get put down? I'm taking it home. There's a cat in an empty lot? I'm adopting it.

no no no... you’re right... we need to talk about this more... it’s one of his only redeemable qualities

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Who is Chris???????

lmfao Francis’s step dad he’s mostly irrelevant but has somehow made a lasting impression on my brain

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So are we just gonna ignore the fact that Charles and Francis hooked up at Bunny's funeral orrr???

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Yo I got Judy how am I going to die

food poisoning in 14-17 years sorry babes (if it makes you feel any better I’m going in a car accident in 1-3 years)

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I got Francis' monogrammed cards on the uquiz!! :D just thought I'd share - also 10/10 quiz in general :)

Ahhh!! I’m so glad you liked it!!! And you should be honored because that’s genuinely the best result you can get in my opinion. 

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Okay yes most of these characters are irrelevant but it's fine and yes, Francis and Judy are in the results so go ahead and try for them if you wish.

Okay here she is have fun ladies. 

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yes... I’m back folks... are we down for a uquiz this sunny morning (depending on where you are)? 

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#1

Lmao I guess I'll do this again why not?

1) Name?

My cat's name is Dusty!

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37 & 59!!! thank you!!

37. Do you think they understand you?

God I hope not, my mother calls him a bastard. I do think he understands me though, in a weird way. He just knows what’s good.

59. How long have you had them?

We’ve had Dusty since he was a kitten! He’ll be turning 11 in August, but we picked him up in late October when he was ready to leave his mother. 

[girlblocker]

Ask me about my cat

Send me a number and I’ll answer for my cat

1. Name? 2. Fur color? 3. Any family you know (other than you)? 4. Age? 5. Favorite toy? 6. Nicknames? 7. Cinnamon roll or problematic fave? 8. Length of fluff? 9. Any funny habits? 10. How old were they when you met? 11. What does their food bowl look like? 12. Indoor or outdoor cat? 13. Recent picture? 14. Old picture? 15. Cuddly? 16. Ever changed their name?

17. How have they changed as you knew them?

18. Eye color?

19. How do they express love for you? 20. How do you express love for them? 21. Any theories on what breed? 22. Do they ever wake you up? 23. How much do they meow? 24. Any hiding spots? 25. Do they enjoy guests? 26. Lofty objects to sit on? 27. Wear a collar? (and describe collar?) 28. How much shedding? 29. Do they enjoy brushing? 30. Ever drink from the toilet? 31. How do they get your attention? 32. Embarrassing thing they’ve done? 33. Weirdest thing they try to eat? 34. Are they like your siblings, children, or friends? 35. What time do they eat breakfast? 36. Do you cut their nails? 37. Do you think they understand you? 38. Ever make fun of them? 39. Do you take their picture often? 40. Ever hiss at you? 41. Ever try to scratch or bite you? 42. If you try to grab their paw, what do they do? 43. Do they ever eat bugs? 44. Canned or dry food? 45. Weight? 46. Ever got lost? 47. Do you buy them presents? 48. Do they respond when you call? 49. Do they ever see other cats? 50. Declawed? 51. Funniest expression? 52. Favorite place to be pet? 53. Worst thing they’ve destroyed? 54. Give them a head kiss. 55. What time of the year is most exciting for them? 56. Are they good at hunting real prey? 57. Do they ever attack nothing? 58. What are they doing right now? 59. How long have you had them? 60. If you could have them stay as a kitten forever, would you? 61. Ever baby-talk to them? 62. Favorite napping position? 63. Have you ever stepped on their paw? 64. Ever tripped you on stairs? 65. Any ear hair? 66. Favorite view from a window? 67. Describe why they are precious. 68. Fit the cat stereotype? 69. Chaotic neutral? 70. Do they enjoy following/ keeping you company? 71. Are you their favorite human? 72. Do they like tv? 73. Favorite noise to make? 74. If they were a Neko Atsume cat, what would their momento be?

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hey ladies and lizards this seems fun since my cat (dusty) gained fame on the uquiz I posted. send stuff in if you want he’d appreciate it.

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Bunny: Marion and I just got great some news and uh... let's just say she's gonna be vaping for two from now on.

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Heyo ladies and germs have some secret history characters as my favorite John Mulaney quotes.

Charles Macaulay

Camilla Macaulay (ft. The Male Gaze)

Francis Abernathy

Bunny Corcoran

Henry Winter

Richard Papen

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listen. I know you've taken "which member of the Greek Squad are you?" quizzes before and I know you purposely tried to get Francis. Do you want to know how I know that? Because I do too. It's okay. We're in this together. Don't worry, Francis isn't in here, but it's mostly women because frankly, there aren't enough of them in the main cast.

alright I’m hopping on board the uquiz train and it’s time to find out which minor character in the secret history you are cheers lads