Daily affirmations for tesla owners: your car is ugly as hell and everyone hates you

JBB: An Artblog!
Claire Keane
Sade Olutola
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YOU ARE THE REASON

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$LAYYYTER

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@tsukiroe
Daily affirmations for tesla owners: your car is ugly as hell and everyone hates you
women have no idea how hard it is being a man. for example, [describes an experience that is not at all exclusive to being a man]
and the sequel [describes an experience that is more common or worse for women but isnt taken as seriously]
it’s a little funny that essentially in the eyes of the law joseph joestar kidnapped a 17 year old and brought him to egypt and got him killed and then just went home to new york and faced no ramifications
i havent actually seen anyone make real food for their miis it's all been prescription drugs and cigarettes and bees or a combination of those
cars need extra signals that mean specific things like "i did not mean to do that" or "the cop is gone now can you please pick up the fucking pace"
You have to listen to the basic melody a while before you start to improvise.
If you see this on your dashboard, reblog this, NO MATTER WHAT and all your dreams and wishes will come true.
Oh hey! Haven’t seen this in forever! Didn’t reblog it when it came across me before, not gonna skip it this time, I need some good vibes.
Failure to reach the heavens
HOLY SHIT
intruder 👁️
i set my name to Paul Enis in the app because then the stickers they put on my grocery deliveries would say P. ENIS. it was like this for months, but now all the sudden they say PAUL E. instead
i can't have that. i won't let that happen. what they could have never predicted is that a beautiful woman named Peni Sausage is about to log on
she transitioned
ITS DARK, BUT JUST A GAME !
TW ! - sexual content. dark thoughts. stalker vampire leon?? cohesion? smut. barebacking. raw sex (wrap it before you tap it) ejaculation. breeding kink? scent kink? dubcon? reader is slightly intoxicated (alcohol) blood drinking. biting. reader passes out. title from dark but just a game by lana del rey.
The rain had already washed away from the street the time Leon arrived outside the bar, Neon sign flickering like a holy light giving him a warm, welcome! all drinks half price! Rock music hummed through the brick walls reminding him of the places he used to hang around when he was a rookie.
And human.
He could smell you beneath heavy scents of beer, perfume and cigarette smoke. It was unmistakable, warm. Human. Young and alive. His slacks tight from his already aching cock, Since he smelled you walking past his apartment on the street his dicks been hard and weeping to be deep inside you.
He tried, really tried to ignore it. Shooting himself up with two med injectors to ease the cravings, sneaking blood from his bags early- then feeling guilty about- even jerking off in the shower, breathe heavy against his forearm as he leant against the porcelain wall fisting his cock until beads of cum spurted onto the floor and his fangs protruded further from his gums.
after all of that though, he still couldn’t help himself. Leon knows it’s wrong but still he threw on his suite- the black one he used to go undercover in, thick arms and legs straining against the material, and followed you all the way here.
He pushed open the door and wandered in, slipping through the crowd and making his way to the bar. Inside yellow light spilled across the wooden floor, a few late nights hunched over their drinks as leon took a seat in an empty stool. The moment he sat your scent grew stronger, his knuckles gripped so hard they turned white against the wooden bar.
He could almost taste you.
Your scent drifted from the far end of the room and there you were, skimpy black dress and tights hugging your curves perfectly, hair tied up with a couple strands framing your face and pink plump lips. You ran your tongue over them after taking a sip of your drink and leon shuddered when you laughed at one of your friend’s shitty jokes.
Your dress matches his suite, Funny.
Leon doesn’t believe in fate but he does believe that god must be testing his willpower right now because holding back from you is impossible.
You glance up and from across the room your eyes meet his, Leon smiles and you look away quickly, taking another sip of your drink and pretending to listen in on your friends conversation but he knows your not. Your pulse is hammering against your chest, cheeks slightly flushed and your thighs are clamping against each other underneath the table. Hecan smell your slick arousal from here.
He was going to order you a drink, send the bartender to give it you but now he’s feeling bold. Leon knows he’s doesn’t need to sweeten you up, He’s already got you in his game.
After waiting a couple minutes, he ordered himself a whiskey from the bar and sipped it empty- feeling your eyes bore at the back of his head he stood and slid a bill across the counter, untucking his shirt and letting it hang loosely to hide some of his excitement.
He shuffled over to you with unhurried ease, confident in the quiet way that drew everyone’s attention without even demanding it. A side effect of being a cop for so long. As he approached you one of the girls noticed and nudged the other with her shoulder, a smirk splayed on her lips.
Leon smiled, up close he looked even more handsome, blue velvet eyes with a piercing gaze and short stubble, messy dark hair shadowing over his eyes, pale skin the way people often were under bar lighting.
“Sorry to interrupt.” He spoke, deep voice sending shivers down your spine, your two friends whispered between themselves, giggling and making your cheeks turn pink.
His eyes pinned you down and never strayed as he asked “Can i steal you for a minute?”
You blinked, it’s not a surprise for you to get hit on at a bar but from a gorgeous older man in a suite and no wedding ring- it’s uncommon. Your friends shoot you one of those looks- bitch go with him! she mouths and you laugh nervously, mumbling a shy “sure.” under your breath.
Leon has to physically hold himself back from dragging you out the bar and fucking his cock into your pussy against the alleyway wall as you follow behind him a few steps away. He can hear and smell everything up close, your breathing and the steady rhythm of your heart, blood beneath your warm soft skin.
It’s taking a lot of discipline to not stare at the pulse in your throat.
“You look like you’re about to ask me something serious, it’s making me nervous.” You giggle up at him, Leon leaning against the wall.
“I noticed you when i came in, thought i’d regret if i didn’t say hello.” Leon speaks, eyes never leaving yours as he folds his arms.
“well.. hello then.” You reply, cheeks pink and eyes looking away from his as you smile to yourself.
Leon chuckled under his breath. You’re so sweet, smell so good, So shy. He knew following you was a good idea.
“What’s your name?” He asks, reaching a finger to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, trailing it down your neck before pulling away with a groan under his breath.
You tell him your name and he repeats it teasingly, telling you his.
Leon leans in close and lowers his voice. “This might be sudden but how do you feel about coming back to mine?” His fingers reach out again, trailing down the shape of your jaw all the way to your lips, your lashes batting up at him.
You’re clearly hesitant, lips opening then closing before landing on “i-i don’t usually go home with strangers.”
He holds back a groan, hand trailing down to squeeze your hip. “We’re not stranger’s baby.”
Both of you spot your friends from over the bar and he chuckles under his breath as they shoot you lewd finger signs and pointing at leon.
You turn back to face him and Leon thinks you’re the most gorgeous person he’s ever met, your scent is driving him wild and he already knows you taste so good.
He tilts his head and you huff out a laugh. “Okay, sure.”
Leon’s apartment is bland, No pictures on the walls or plants sitting in the windowsill. Just the necessities besides the alcohol cabinet you spotted when you walked it. It fits his personality, mostly quiet besides the claps of his hips slapping against your ass and the squelch of his dick fucking into your pussy. With a palm on the back of your head he’s got your face pushed into his dark sheets, back arched and hands held behind your back.
“Fuckkk..such a tight pussy, baby.” He moans out, his cock fucking in and out in and out in a fast rhythm, balls slapping your clit from behind making your eyes roll back into your head.
“s-so deep, leon..” you whine out, words muffled and hiccuping from his pace.
“Yeah? you like this dick deep inside you huh? cmon- mmmf tell me.” His voice low and hushed in your ear as he pushes his chest against your back to a mating press, hips snapping up reaching a new angle inside of you making you both moan.
“smell so good…” He mumbles in your ear as his tongue licks the lobe, grazing his teeth down your neck and chuffing, his teeth sharper than usual, or maybe your too fucked out from his cock head kissing your cervix.
Your pussy clenches around his cock as he kisses the back of your neck, tucking his face into the side of your throat with kitten licks on your pulse point.
“M.. m gonna cum leon…. feels so good..” You think your babbling now, the alcohol in your system and leon inside you making your vision blurry, thoughts only on how good he’s fucking you. Leon’s fingers slip under you to squeeze your boobs between his palms before pressing two fingers against your clit, rubbing against the swollen bud in circles. You moan arching your ass flush against him.
“Gonna cream my cock baby.. cmon give it to me- give it to me.” He’s groaning against your neck, lips brushing against yours and he slaps your clit harshly making you whine.
Slapping your clit one last time you moan, eyes rolling into the back of your head as you cum, slick dripping down your legs and coating his balls. You think you’re going to pass out as he fucks you through it until he presses his hips against your ass and a pair of fangs sink into your neck. You scream out and try to push his face away but he’s grabbing your arms and pressing you into the bed as his balls draw up, thick ropes of cum emptying into your heat.
His eyes are closed, stubble brushing your neck as he groans and sucks your skin. You think you’re bleeding, and you think leon is drinking it. But your visions hazy, your moaning and so is he, dick still being cockwarmed deep inside of you and cum leaking out your hole down your legs.
Before you know it your vision goes dark and you pass out still being held against the bed and Leon drinking from your neck.
You’re the prettiest girl hes met in a long time. Your scent, tight soft pussy fitting perfectly around his cock storing his seed, even your blood is one of the best he’s ever tasted. Its all stained around his lips and hes still licking it from his fingers, cock aching and dripping pearly beads of pre- cum as your laid next to him asleep.
He doesn’t touch you again and he wont until he’s explained everything about him to you, Maybe you’ll scream and call him crazy and run away. Or maybe you’re just as fucked up as him, he knew your pussy clamped and your scent got heavier when he drank from you. He reaches over pushing a stray hair from out your face, listening to your pulse slow as you sleep.
Leon doesn’t think he could let you run even if you wanted to.
-
im sorry if the smut is ass yall i wrote this while i was high asf at 4am.. oops!!
This is the best thing I've ever read
I like when fic length/book length/movie length is its own punchline
characters: Ah, I'm so glad that's all over now :). But luckily that's done and dealt with and we can all resume our normal lives now :)
fic length: Chapter 9 out of 48
Odysseus: Thank you for the concern, but brother, I can assure you Our journey is almost done.
Song 11 of 40
When I was in high school we did an english unit on Octavia Butler and the teacher told us hey btw. You should call her "Butler" in your essays. Sometimes students call female writers by their first names unconsciously, but that's not acceptable. If you wouldnt call them William or Ernest you shouldn't call her Octavia.
And I was like cool whatever I was gonna call her Butler anyways. But that moment has stuck with me for my whole life because once you start seeing ppl calling women by their first names where men would be called by their last names you literally never stop seeing it.
my only religious belief is that there is no afterlife except for the ublock origin team who are going to heaven and the youtube anti-adblock team who are going to hell