tee

she/her ♡⸝⸝

[ttjisung]

WINE DRUNK m. ryuji

husband! matsuyama ryuji x wife! fem reader

cw: 18+ mdni, smut, oral (m receiving), mentions of alcohol, cum eating, he's kind of rough, hair pulling, head pusher ryuji </3 but it's kinda hot just cause he's desperate, takes place before his crash but pls read my note, word count: 1.9k.

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It had been a long day. After hours of cleaning every single crevice of each room, as well as organizing your garage, you were exhausted. You could tell when your husband Ryuji walked into your home, tie undone and eyebags prominent, that the sentiment was probably shared. 

Nights weren’t usually like this — while they were calm, they were never tense. You struggled to hide your frown when you greeted Ryuji at the door, only to be met by a low mumble and avoidant eyes. You could tell something was bothering him, yet he was typically quiet when he was upset, much to your distress. 

— “How was your day, babe?” You asked, hopeful as you took his coat from his taller frame, moving quickly to place it in the nearest storage closet. His answer was a simple yet stubborn “Fine.” Nothing about him appeared fine. He was stressed and it was evident. “How was work?” “Fine.” You sighed when his monotone voice repeated the word over and over again. Although the lack of communication was frustrating, you could understand why he might be hesitant. It was no secret that he had been struggling with his reputation at his school, his passion for researching the afterlife probably the main reason why. 

You never doubted Ryuji’s beliefs, yet you couldn’t hold back a frown when you would overhear someone reducing it to a useless fantasy. Recently things had become worse, his supervisor directly telling him to stop wasting his time and to focus on something else. While Ryuji was strong mentally, the constant negativity was probably taxing. You needed to find a way to cheer him up. 

Without saying another word, you rushed to the kitchen, pouring two glasses of red wine and balancing them as you moved into the living room, beckoning your husband to join you. “Ryuji, c’mere!” You patted next to your own spot on the couch, with the two glasses placed on the nightstand adjacent to it. He nodded wordlessly, walking into the room and sitting next to you as you asked. He wasted no time taking the glass from the nightstand, sipping on it and closing his eyes at the taste. You always teased him for being overly expressive with his alcohol, yet you couldn’t find it in you to make fun of him when this was the closest to happiness you had seen him show since he arrived home. 

You grabbed your own glass, sipping next to him while watching a dumb movie on your television. Eventually, one glass became two and two became three, and before you knew it, the two of you were tipsy. Your head was leaned back, turned to stare directly at Ryuji with no shame. You took notice of how there was a slight sheen of sweat under his jaw, a small furrow in his eyebrows, a light red to his cheeks — you probably looked the same from the wine. 

Suddenly, you were feeling antsy, biting your lip to hold back from voicing your admiration for his face. You truly lucked out, constantly telling him how beautiful he was yet he’d simply hum and look away. You wondered if he would now, choosing to test the waters. “You know, you look really good right now.” Ryuji finally looked your way, and you would bet a million dollars that he was about to scoff and tell you to be quiet, yet his eyes were lidded, riddled with something similar to lust as he bit his lip. “Really?” “Mhmm.” You nodded your head, clumsily enthusiastic. You weren’t sure if it was the drinks or the way his hair was styled, but you wanted to feel him closer to you.

Ryuji’s eyes left yours to look you up and down, faintly smiling as he admired you. You felt one of his hands subconsciously reaching for yours, interlacing your fingers and running his thumb on your palm. The feeling made you smile as well, yet you felt slightly empty for some reason, the yearning in you becoming not-so-innocent anymore. “I missed you today.” You whispered, leaning your face to meet his shoulder and rest on it, locking your eyes onto your hands that were holding each other. “Did you now?” You nodded, pouting lightly. “Wanna show you how much.” You responded quietly, finally shifting your head to look up at him. The look in his eye told you he was more than happy to agree, probably secretly relieved that you had offered a way to release his stress. 

Ryuji’s empty hand moved to hold your hip as you got up slightly, straddling his body on the couch and pushing his shoulders back, silently urging him to stay still. He looked up at you, his eyes intense and heavy with a look that overwhelmed you in the best way. Without overthinking, you closed your eyes, leaning down for your lips to meet his. Once they touched, you immediately furthered the kiss, your hand that was on his shoulder grazing up to cup his neck and push him into you. He complied, chasing your lips with his own and humming into the kiss. 

You could tell he was desperate too, with the way his hips would jolt up to meet your own, creating a rhythm as you both began to grind against each other through your clothes. The friction felt so good, heightened by your tipsy actions. Making love was always perfect with him, yet it was always so different when you two were buzzed, the messy desperate actions somehow amplifying each nerve in your bodies. 

Ryuji’s long fingers let go of your hip, trailing down towards the string of your sweatpants. You pushed away from the kiss, ignoring how his mouth chased yours before turning into a pouty frown. Your hand on his neck held him still as you shook your head, “No, this is about you, Ji. We can do that some other time, let me help you.” His frown stayed, now slightly confused yet he nodded at your words, trusting you. 

You smiled, placing one more peck on his lips, before leaving one on his jaw, moving down to his neck to suck on his skin. The flesh was damp with sweat, the pressure of your mouth on him making him feel like he was some horny teenager again. 

Ryuji let out a moan at the feeling, his hand reaching up to grip the back of your neck, pushing you into him fervently. With a renowned passion, you began to suck harshly, leaving purple blemishes over his skin. You would lick them after to relieve the pain before biting the same marks right after. Each time your teeth would graze his skin, his breath would falter, his hips rutting into you mindlessly. 

He whined when you finally removed yourself, yet you simply smiled at him before standing up. “Did work have you stressed?” He huffed at your words, wanting to skip the tense questions in favor of feeling you on top of him again, yet you slapped his hands away when they reached up to grab your waist. “Answer me, please.” He sighed, “He said I wouldn’t get the funding. I… I don’t want to talk about it right now.” You frowned when he responded, his defeated tone making you want to break down along with him. 

“It’s okay baby, I’ll take your mind off of it.” You spoke your last words before descending onto your knees, grinning up at him while your hands reached for his belt. He sank down further into the couch, melting into the feeling when you finally removed the item, pulling down his pants along with it. He kicked them off quickly, watching you intensely as your hands ghosted over his clothed bulge, growing harder with each movement of your wrists. You pressed down lightly, laughing when he threw his head back and whined in response. Choosing to tease him a bit more, you leaned in, leaving a kiss on the tent. He was displeased, his hand rushing to grab onto your hair, roughly pulling you up until you made eye contact with him. “Don’t tease.” Your smile widened, feeling a heat between your thighs at his strict tone. 

Nodding, you waited until Ryuji eased up his hold to finally pull down his boxers. His hard cock sprung out, slapping his stomach and making him groan while biting his lip. You felt yourself grow wetter at the sight, wanting to touch his impressive length immediately. You didn’t hold back anymore, perking up to lean over and grab his dick, stroking the base of it while your tongue darted out, licking his tip. 

The small action had him restless, his blush growing as he twitched at the feeling. You knew he was mostly sensitive in the tip, choosing to focus on it at first. He strengthened the grip of his hand that held onto your hair, getting tighter and tighter as he felt your tongue running over his dickhead. After some more small licks, you finally opened your mouth, taking him in inch by inch until you couldn’t. 

Your eyes were shut quickly, getting more turned on as the second passed, the feeling of his cock heavy in your mouth making you clench your thighs harder. He was no longer trying to hold in his moans, eyes shutting tight while his head tilted back. He was a loud, whining mess at your mercy as your hand ran up and down his base while you hollowed your cheeks on what you could. 

Spit was trailing down onto his bare thighs as some of his precum dribbled down too, though most of it was swallowed down your throat instead. You opened your eyes, looking up to admire your whimpering husband. He looked angelic, veins showing on his forehead as he clenched his teeth, biting his lip as you worked your fingers down him.

Ryuji opened his eyes as your pace increased. When he looked down at you, he caught your eyes, locking into them while his mouth opened to release more moans into the room. You tried to smile at him, although your mouth was occupied, taking him fully down your throat. The sight made him grunt loudly, his hand in your hair tightening. While he tried to fight back the urge, he knew he was slowly losing the battle, feeling his orgasm approaching quickly. 

Your head was pushed into his pelvis while his actions became rougher, finally tipping over when you gagged on his cock. His eyes left yours, shutting tightly once more before he came inside your mouth with one final moan. 

Your mouth was full of his cum, some dripping out to run down your chin, yet you swallowed, looking up at Ryuji when you had none left. Behind his dazed out expression, you saw his lips curl upwards in content, and you jumped up back onto the couch. Pressing yourself next to him, he met you halfway into a messy kiss, tasting himself on your tongue. 

Your heavy breaths both occupied the room, calming down while embracing each other. “I’ll come home mad again if it means you’ll do that every day.” His voice was unserious, raspy as you could tell he was tired. You laughed at his words, “Yeah right… Next time I’m handing you a broom and telling you to get to work.” You both giggled, holding each other and intertwining your hands once more before you both dozed off together, cramped on the small couch.

♡⸝⸝

a/n: i love domestic cuteness... i do want to note that i hope to respect the fact that ryuji uses a wheelchair and involve that in my writings so this will be one of my only works pre-crash! i simply wish to research more beforehand to make it as inclusive and accurate as it can be, so i will be working on that asap >_< i hope you all like!

[ttjisung]

I LOVED the ryuji fic GIRL PLEASSE J NEED MORE 🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️

omg TYY ^_^ i’m so glad ppl liked it i will definitely be writing more soon ❤︎

[ttjisung]

TEST SUBJECT m. ryuji

professor! ryuji matsuyama x student! fem reader

cw: mdni - smut, oral (fem receiving), age gap implied but everything is legal, word count: 3.2k

♡⸝⸝

Professor! Ryuji Matsuyama who convinced you to go to the Borderlands with him after you showed interest in his work about the afterlife. He shows his gratitude before you both leave.

After the death of his student and his attempt in which he lost control over his legs, he was convinced no one would approach him about the topic again. That was until you walked up to him after class, stating that you vaguely remember having to play the deathly games when you were involved in the meteor accident in Shibuya.

Ryuji stayed stoic, but he was mentally ecstatic knowing that he wouldn’t have to hunt down another victim, because his pretty student offered herself up instead. He led you to his office where he held all his research, debriefing you on what he knew and every one of his hypotheses. He truly admired the way you would bite your lip and stare at him in wonder each time he would rant about death beyond the Borderlands. 

It was 2 a.m. when you received an email from him, asking you to meet him at a small local cafe the next evening to discuss the plan.

When you arrived, you looked inside the window of the warmly lit building and found Ryuji sitting at a table near the end of the room. You breathed in deeply before entering, the chime of the door bell notifying the man of your arrival. He looked your way, and you had to fight the urge to walk out and run away — not because you were scared, but because you were flustered. He had a habit of holding prolonged eye contact with you, to the point where you would get nervous.

Swallowing down your nerves, you walked quickly towards the table, bowing when you finally got close enough to fully see the man. Ryuji nodded his head in your direction, fighting off the urge to stare at your outfit. He loved your cute dresses and skirts, but he made a mental note to remind you to wear something more practical when you both enter the other world. 

“Hi, Mr. Matsuyama.” “L/n, we’re past the need for formal names, aren’t we? We might be dying together soon anyway.” His deep voice was quiet, probably shielding the topic from others near you, yet you couldn’t deny that the sultry tone made butterflies erupt in your stomach. You nodded at his words, a blush overtaking your cheeks while you sat down opposite to him. “Would you like anything?” He offered, vaguely glancing at the menu before looking back up at you. His gaze continued, overwhelming you in every sense. You simply shook your head, “I’m okay, thank you.” 

Ryuji chose to order two waters for each of you, before beginning his discussion with you. “I found a seminar, supposedly made for those like you and I who wish to enter the world. Are you available Saturday night?” Weirdly, although the thought of potential death should have been a concern, you gleamed at the news, nodding your head eagerly. He slightly smiled at your reaction, taking a sip of his drink before pulling his phone out and sending you the address. After another half hour spent talking about what to wear, what to bring, and things of a similar nature, the two of you left the cafe, agreeing to meet together before the seminar and attend together. 

Saturday night came soon, and you were both physically and mentally prepared. You decided to bring a pocket knife with you, hidden underneath the tight jacket you chose to put on. Your legs were covered in athletic leggings, an article of clothing you typically wouldn’t wear, yet you remembered wishing you had something other than a measly miniskirt the first time you entered the Borderlands. 

You met Ryuji on the street leading to a random old office building. He had told you through messages that the seminar would take place there, and while you were almost scared at the thought of the creepy building, you were excited to return to the land you once resided in. 

When he saw you approach, Ryuji let out a sigh, taking in the way the leggings you wore hugged your legs so tight. He had priorities, none of them being related to his perversions, yet he couldn’t seem to stop thinking about what you would look like without them on. Shaking his head, he greeted you quietly when you finally arrived, to which you responded back eagerly. 

You two headed to the building, taking an elevator up and following the familiar arrow signs all the way to a gray, dimly lit room. There were five other people, all dressed formally for the occasion. You grew self conscious, seeing as even your professor chose to wear a formal blazer, yet you shook off the thought. You were prepared for survival, not a fashion show.

You followed Ryuji towards a table, taking a seat and moving the one next to yours to allow for him to place his wheelchair there instead. “You must be sitting on the chair.” An older man strictly spoke, and you looked up to see him looming over you two. He must be the one who had this planned. 

You looked back towards Ryuji, who seemed to have no issue using his upper strength to place himself next to you on the metallic chair. You had to fight back a blush at his ragged, heavy breaths from the physical exercise. 

Not much longer after everyone was situated, the game began. It was a card game you had not heard of before, yet your nerves slightly grew when the man announced there would only be two winners. You felt bad knowing others would have to lose, yet you wondered if it meant death considering no one looked as anxious as they should be. You shrugged it off, playing by the rules you were instructed to follow. Ryuji did the same, using strategies you didn’t understand but felt as though they were protecting both you and himself. When the first person lost, an older man who seemed uninterested, he simply huffed and rolled his eyes before putting his deck down.

What no one expected was for a laser to shoot straight through his head, leaving his corpse to slam against the ground. Your heart dropped, yet you tried your best to remain calm. As if he sensed your nerves, you felt a hand holding onto your arm, and when you looked up you saw Ryuji looking at you. His eyebrows furrowed, yet the contact calmed you down. You remained still as the others panicked, standing up and getting shot too as a consequence. 

The game got more intense as every round passed, leaving only three of you – you, Ryuji, and a younger man who looked as if he was going to cry any second. Ryuji held his hand up, offering the choice of which card to pick. He pushed up the right card, seemingly encouraging him to grab it, which successfully tricked the younger man into choosing the opposite. You shut your eyes as he yelled, his lifeless body slumping along the table once the final laser went off. 

Both you and Ryuji let out sighs of relief, looking up to the instructor who was now standing under a suspicious fluttering light. His body appeared to shift each time the light would go on and off, changing into the form of someone else who you recognized — Banda. Of course, it had to be the maniac you were forced to partner up with during the Jack of Clubs the last time you were in the Borderlands. He seemed to recognize you as well, eyes gleaming as they moved between you and the man next to you.

“Well, well, well. It appears you two have won, so tell me, would you like to visit me in the Borderlands?” Disregarding the corpses that laid around you, stiff and unmoving, you felt compelled to nod your head in agreement. Ryuji did the same.

After a brief speech from the criminal, you two left the building. The sky was now fully dark, illuminated by a handful of stars. It made you remember how vivid the skies were in the Borderlands, due to the lack of light pollution — it made you more excited. 

“Mr. Matsuyama-” “Call me Ryuji.” You blushed before continuing, “Ryuji, would you like to get drinks? Maybe we could celebrate one more time before we leave.” He found your suggestion cute, looking up at you and nodding. You smiled at him, moving towards the end of the block where you knew a small bar was open. The man followed closely behind. 

When you entered the bar, you realized how dark it was inside. Aside from a couple of people drinking in a booth, it was practically empty. You stepped forward, taking a seat near the front of the room, Ryuji right behind you as you moved the chair for him to be next to you. 

“Could I get a green tea shot please?” Ryuji snorted at your order, making you snap your head in his direction in offense, “Hey! Don’t laugh, it’s not that bad.” “Yeah, yeah. I’ll take whatever tequila you have.” He faced the bartender who nodded in return, stepping to the side to make your orders. 

“So, are you excited?” The deep voice asked, Ryuji placing his head on his hand as he observed you through half lidded eyes. “Of course, I mean… There’s so much to explore once we’re there.” Your eyes lit up as you spoke, looking off into the ceiling in thought. Ryuji licked his bottom lip which now felt weirdly dry, moving to face the drinks that were presented in front of you. You did the same, stealing a sip of his own drink and making him laugh at your disgusted expression. 

After a few shots, you both were slightly reeling, settled into a comfortable silence as you nursed another drink in your hand. You were beginning to feel hot in the stuffy bar, fanning yourself with your hand. Ryuji seemed to take notice, proposing something else, “Do you want to get out of here? My place is nearby.” Your eyes widened at his words, wondering if he had an ulterior motive or if he was innocent. Looking at him, you couldn’t gouge the answer through his stoic expression. “S-sure.” You cringed when you stuttered, yet he didn’t point it out, dropping some cash to pay for both of your drinks before leading you to the door. 

True to his word, his apartment was only a couple of blocks down and you found yourself taking your shoes off in his entryway very soon. The living room was slightly decorated, mostly overtaken by books with titles like The Afterlife: Theories and Significance of Dreams in Real Life. You hummed, walking by and taking the environment in. It was nice, to say the least. While you were wandering around his space, he stayed near the doorway, observing you as you took note of every detail. 

Once you observed everything you were curious about, you looked towards Ryuji. In this lighting, you could see the faint red on his cheeks, probably from the drinks. His hair was slightly more disheveled than usual, and the upper buttons of his collar were popped open. You shut your eyes to avoid looking at the skin underneath. He took his time looking at you too, noting how you weren’t wearing your jacket anymore, revealing a black tank top that defined more than was holy. He swallowed deeply, turning around and opening the door to his bedroom. “I’ve got some more research things in here.” You jumped at his words, quickly following behind him until you entered his room. 

Ryuji’s voice was made neatly, a black duvet covering a king mattress with white sheets. His room was exactly as you expected it would be. You hummed in delight at the decor in his room, extremely minimal yet appealing in a way. He pushed himself towards his bed, using his upper strength once more to pull himself onto the furniture. He sat on the duvet, staring up towards your body that was walking around and continuing to read each title in his bookshelves. Clearing his voice to get your attention, he leaned on his arm and tilted his head to hold your eye contact once you turned around. 

The sight was a pleasant one, his eyes observing you as his hand moved to unbutton his blazer, shifting it to fall off his shoulders. You weren’t sure if you were being perverted, but you swore he was doing it on purpose, with the way his eyes went up and down your body. 

“Umm,” “Why don’t you sit next to me, L/n?” You nodded as if possessed, moving quickly to lay on his bed, although leaving a little bit of space between you two. He seemed to disapprove, staring straight at you as he leaned in slightly. “You know, once we enter the other world, we'll be deprived of a lot. Our purpose will be to win every game and search for death after the afterlife. Are you sure you’re fully… committed?” His voice was low, reserved yet inquisitive, as if he was testing your will to continue. “Yes, I know. As long as I’m with you, Ryuji, I’ll be okay.” He seemed to appreciate your words, humming before leaning closer. 

You could feel his breath near your face, yet you refused to look into his eyes. He smiled at this, moving even closer until his lips finally brushed yours. It was as if the kiss unlocked something within you, as you quickly reciprocated. The hand he was not resting on held your face, cradling it closer to his to move you further into the kiss. Humming in content, you pushed your face deeper into his hold. 

While you had imagined this scenario many times, you were shocked to find out it would soon become a reality — one that you enjoyed a lot. 

He didn’t let you think for long, pushing you onto his bed and deepening the kiss, opening his mouth and using his tongue to make you do the same. His spit mixed with yours, every small groan of his going straight towards your stomach. You were growing desperate, placing your arms around his neck to pull him closer before falling on your back. He was on top of you, kissing you sloppily, his hand that cradled your face moving to unbutton his shirt. Your arms released him, slightly sitting up to remove your own, leaving you in a bra and leggings, while he still had his pants on. 

Once his shirt was successfully off, Ryuji held your face again, sighing into another kiss. You let him do so, happily taking everything he gave you. You were so flustered you began to feel an ache, whining into his lips. He pecked you once more before pushing himself up until he was sitting on his side, hovering above you. 

A shocked gasp came out of your throat as he shifted until he was near your legs, hands bunching up your leggings at the top and looking at you while he took them off slowly. Your hands gripped the duvet underneath you in preparation, looking back into his eyes. Your vision only slipped occasionally to look towards his abdomen. It was clear he worked out, given by his strong biceps and his built stomach. The sight made you more needy, and the way you began to squeeze your legs told him so. 

Ryuji smirked at the sight, holding your newly bare legs in his hands before moving up towards your thighs. You bit your lip, sighing at the feeling of his calloused fingers rubbing gentle circles along your inner legs. His lips were next, starting near the top of your knee and leaving small kisses all the way up until he reached where he knew you wanted him to be. You closed your legs, nerves building up yet he simply shook his head, placing his hands under your thighs and pulling them apart. “Need to show that you’re fully committed, baby. Will you show me?” His voice was rough, clouded by lust, and his breath was heavy. You nodded, “Yes, please.” You answered, moving your hands to his hair to push him closer to you. 

He obliged quickly, pressing his nose onto your clothed center, inhaling your scent before his lips enveloped your clothed core. The feeling of his tongue, although covered, was heavenly. He ate up your sighs, diving deeper while his hands grabbed at the flesh of your legs. It was messy, sloppy as he made out with your cunt. Soon, his desperation took over, encouraged by your whimpers, so he hooked his fingers on the flimsy material of your panties, pushing them to the side and revealing your intimate area. 

A moan got stuck in Ryuji’s throat, feeling his body heat up at the sight of your glistening core. He wasted no time, pushing himself even closer, letting his lips feel you directly. He groaned at your taste, loud enough to drown out your own noises of pleasure. 

He alternated between licking a stripe up your cunt, and sucking onto your clit, noticing how you would pull his hair harshly when he did so. One of his hands let go of your thighs in favor of pushing itself into you, yet at the loss of contact, you began to squirm away from his hold. “S’ too much…” Your voice was slurry, high pitched. He shook his head, slapping the skin of your thigh lightly as a warning before moving it back towards your hole. His tongue skillfully played with your clit, hoping to distract you from the faint stretch as his finger moved inside of you up until his knuckle. 

Ryuji’s hand holding your thigh began to claw into your skin, grasping onto you with full force, while you writhed in his hold, overwhelmed by the stimulation you were receiving. He was subconsciously clenching his stomach, shifting his body on the mattress. “Fuck,” he whined, dazed, “your pussy tastes so good.” The whisper made you shiver, eyes rolling back as you finally reached your high, cumming on his tongue and fingers. He groaned back into your cunt as you clenched on him, reaching his own climax as he rutted into the bed. 

The room was enveloped in heavy breaths and sighs as he continued his actions, sucking your clit until you begged him to stop, feeling too overstimulated. He obliged, pushing himself next to you and holding himself up on his elbow once more, admiring your fucked out state. He grinned, moving away to retrieve something from his nightstand. After a minute of calming down and breathing slowly, you looked over to see what he was doing. In his hand, Ryuji held a vial with some sort of liquid in it. Looking your way, he smiled, “Are you ready?” You smiled back, nodding and laying your head back down as he pushed the liquid up to your lips. Closing your eyes, you let him hold you gently as you both dozed off, waking up soon in the Borderlands.

♡⸝⸝

a/n: guys i've been so obsessed with ryuji since s3 dropped i need him so bad...

[ttjisung]

BEAUTIFUL PERSON AWARD! Once you are given this award you're supposed to paste it in the asks of 8 people who deserve it. If you break the chain nothing happens, but it's sweet to know someone thinks you're beautiful inside and out.

TYYYYY 🩷🩷 my inbox always make me blush this is so kind 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 ｡°(°.◜ᯅ◝°)°｡

[ttjisung]

BEAUTIFUL PERSON AWARD! Once you are given this award you're supposed to paste it in the asks of 8 people who deserve it. If you break the chain nothing happens, but it's sweet to know someone thinks you're beautiful inside and out — gem ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

omg i could cry WAIT 😭😭🩷🩷🩷 this is so NICE tysm :3333333333 (੭ ;´ - `;)੭ ♡ (੭ ;´ - `;)੭ ♡ ｡°(°.◜ᯅ◝°)°｡ this is me crying

[ttjisung]

back 2 u 𝜗𝜚

p. jisung x fem!reader smau - exes to lovers

in which jisung does his best to avoid you, his ex, until he realizes his mistake far too late. cw: suggestive themes, bad angst, cheating, swearing

i'm not going back, back, back, back, back

masterlist

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chapter xix. (wc: 1.9k)

As much as Jisung tried, it was nearly impossible to hide the giddy smile on his face as he reread your message several times. Not only did you want to talk, but you were the one to reach out. Relief flooded through his body every time he remembered this, knowing that he was starting to act a bit too pathetic lately with the prospect of winning you back.

With a bag full of ramen in one hand, and another miffy plushy in the other (he swears he wasn’t trying to outshine Jaemin’s gift… Sure.) Jisung arrived at your door, breathing in and out deeply for a few minutes while he gained the courage to knock. Holding his phone and putting it on silent, Jisung missed the small ding that came from it before putting it back in his pocket. 

Breathing once more, he put a smile on his face, holding his gifts up high as he knocked on your door timidly, as if he was afraid you’d get mad at him and refuse his entry. 

A minute passed and you still hadn’t answered the door, which was strange but Jisung couldn’t let himself get psyched out so he knocked once more, this time harder. He heard footsteps nearing the door, weirdly though it seemed as though there were more steps than normal. Maybe you had invited one of your friends for moral support? He can’t say he’s not disappointed, but at least you were willing to talk to him so he couldn’t complain.

When the door opened, Jisung smiled brightly, hoping to see a positive expression on your face as well, yet his mouth dropped as well as the gifts he was holding up high at the sight of the guest next to you. 

“Jisung? What are you doing here?” He could hear the aggravated panic in Jaemin’s voice, yet he could barely process it, fists shaking in anger at the sight of his so-called friend living it up in your apartment. Ignoring his question, Jisung looked to his right, seeing you there with a worried expression. It was then that he remembered the buzz of his phone, quickly fishing it out and reading your message. ‘don’t come! Jaemin got here early…’.

Jisung felt his heart drop. What would happen now? He essentially ruined the plan, and didn’t know what he was supposed to do. Ire consumed him, making him want to act out and punch Jaemin square in the face, but he was unsure whether that would scare you off or not.

He looked at you once more after his internal debate, eyes pleading for an answer as to what to do. You frowned, unsure of how to respond and what to do in the situation yourself. You wouldn’t admit it, but you were excited to see Jisung again, and that excitement now turned to anxiety seeing as Jaemin’s eyes were glancing between the two of you in suspicion. 

Closing your own eyes, you sighed before stepping back, letting Jisung in to Jaemin’s disapproval. 

You ignored him, walking in and heading towards your couch where Jisung was quick to follow, resulting in the same from Jaemin. “Seriously, what’s going on here?” 

“I… I know, Jaemin. About everything.” You figured it would be better to get it over with, disregarding your original plan and confronting him with Jisung by your side. Jaemin’s eyes dropped, yet his face stayed eerily the same, controlled as if his whole fake persona wasn’t crumbling by the second. 

“Umm, I talked to Jisung… and everyone else, and they showed me proof that you lied.” Jaemin was still scarily silent, his eyes moving between you and Jisung who was now sitting next to you. Knowing there was no way to hide it anymore, he chose to play offense. “You talked? So I’m assuming you know everything that has happened, right?” His words left you confused, Jisung’s heart dropping. Something didn’t feel right. 

“I’m pretty sure, yes-” “Even about Yunjin?” Jisung’s eyes were now wide, heart beating rapidly in panic. “What?” You turned to the side, looking at the male who was pleading with his eyes to let him explain. “I mean, I’m sure you know he was seeing her,” You shivered at the thought, but nodded along, “but there’s so much more he’s not telling you. Isn’t that right, Ji?” You were confused, now weary of the male sitting next to you who was shaking his head, fidgeting with his fingers. “It’s nothing, N/n. I swear-” “So telling Yunjin all about the breakup and letting her gossip with half the campus about Y/n’s little habits is nothing?” 

Jaemin let his stoic appearance slip, a slight smirk covering his mouth now as Jisung was actively breaking down in front of you. “No… No, no, I swear, N/n. It’s not what you think.” You were trying your best to believe Jisung, but everything was starting to lock into place. The dirty looks you received from everybody at that one party you went to, the fact that people you considered acquaintances were now scoffing at you and laughing along with their friends. What exactly had Jisung told Yunjin about?

“It’s ironic really, how quick he was to let everyone know about your little issue with anxiety, even while knowing it’d probably make you even more upset.” Jaemin sounded smug, not necessarily liking making you cry (I mean, he still had the intention of being with you). That being said, it wasn’t enough to stop you from breaking down as you imagined Jisung talking badly about you. Nonetheless, you held hope. 

“I already knew… He was, umm, being a little rude. But it’d make sense in the beginning at least-” “Do you consider last week the beginning? That’s when he told us all about it. Even bragged a bit about the fact that your little classmates now hated you.”

You were struggling to breathe, imagining Jisung with a smile on his face, telling Yunjin all the secrets he swore he would never reveal to anyone. You knew he probably did it before finding out, but it still hurt all the same. Suddenly, you weren’t looking at the man next to you, getting up and rushing to the kitchen to get some water, hoping to avoid what would be a very awkward and uncomfortable panic attack. Jisung was quick to follow, frantically trying to get a hold of your arm to stop you and beg to explain.

You weren’t letting him touch you this time though, shrugging off his arms. Tears were finally running down your face, holding your breath to avoid breaking down in front of the cause of your worries. 

“Please, N/n. I swear I- I would never do that if I knew… Please, just listen to me.” You’re shaking your head, praying for an excuse to get away and never have to look at either of them again. 

Finally catching your eyes, Jisung saw your silent plea. You were begging him to leave you alone so you could regain your composure. Turning around, his anger was now directed towards Jaemin who remained in the living room, staring straight at him and smirking. 

“What the fuck is your issue, Jaemin?!” He moved towards the male, engulfed in a desire to beat the man until every bone of his was broken. Without realizing, Jisung raised his arm, moving down to strike him yet he was interrupted by a hand holding his. Looking back, he came face to face with an extremely concerned Renjun, alongside an equally confused Donghyuck. Dejun and Yangyang were in the kitchen, trying to get you to breathe slowly and explain. Everything was going horribly. Jisung wanted to let the floor swallow him up. 

“Jaemin, what the hell? What did you do…” Renjun let go of Jisung, who was too caught up in shock to continue his attack on the man. “I did what I had to. Seeing as you were all involved in whatever the hell this was, I probably should’ve done more.” His words caused Donghyuck to scoff, “Get the hell out of here, man. And don’t think we won’t tell the rest of the group. You’ll be blocked by everyone.” 

“Do you really think that matters to me? I’ve been here all this time for Y/n, waiting for her to realize how much of a screw up her boyfriend is,” his gaze turned to Jisung with disgust, “and seeing as I’ve succeeded, I don’t really care anymore.” “You dumbass, do you think she’ll date you after this?” Renjun’s response was irritated, looking at Jisung who stood weakly, staring at the floor still. “At least now there’s no chance for our little Ji. I did the right thing, judging by the little gifts our loverboy brought.” 

The miffy plush had been discarded on the floor, next to several bags of uncooked ramen. Jisung couldn’t move, couldn’t find it in himself to pick them up. All he wanted to do was hug you and close his eyes and forget about everything. He was so close… Yet now he seemed so far, if your shaking figure held by Dejun meant anything. He wouldn’t give up though. He came so far, and he still knew you two were soulmates. 

“N/n, please… I swear I didn’t know- and… and as soon as I found out, I cut contact with her-” You weren’t listening, that much was clear, your body stiff and avoiding his gaze. 

After seconds of him pleading, you shrugged Dejun off, stepping towards the living room. “Can… Can everyone leave please? I want to be alone…” Jisung’s head shook, big steps leading him closer to you yet you flinched at his proximity, avoiding his gaze. 

“Please, Y/n.” “It’s… it’s fine, just go. Please.” You said nothing else, retreating into the hallway which leads to your room. Jisung had half a heart to follow you, yet he was held back by Renjun who shook his head as if he already knew what he was planning. 

With your absence, Jisung turned around, all of his anger now focused on Jaemin as he rushed up to the male, punching him in his jaw with no refrain now. As if all of his regret was intertwined in the punch, Jaemin stumbled back, holding his face and breathing heavily. There was no word to express how frustrated Jisung was as Jaemin finally looked back up at him, smirking. “Good luck, Ji. You’re probably gonna need it.” Before Jisung could get another hit in, without the arms of his friends holding back – seeing as they were equally angry, Jaemin stepped away, leaving the apartment with his head held high. 

Jisung felt as though his body dissociated when he stepped back into the hallway, eagerly trying to find his way back to you, yet he was held back by Yangyang who simply shook his head at the male, pointing at the door. 

The world crumbled around Jisung as he begrudgingly stepped out of the apartment, finally breaking down in Renjun’s arm, remembering how upset you looked. God, he wanted to shoot himself, choke himself out, anything to ease the pain of knowing he had hurt you right after he had finally gained your graces back.

When he arrived at his own place, he finally let go, falling onto his couch face first and sobbing into the pillow, one he recognized you always loved to use when you would go over to his apartment. Unsure of what to do now, he simply closed his eyes, letting sleep take over instead.

a/n: omg i'm back! will you guys ever forgive me for abandoning this for so many months... college had me so burnt out but im technically still in summer so it's a good time for me to come back :3

i checked all of the comments on my previous chapters and added anyone who asked to be on the taglist but if you no longer wish to (considering it's been a while... sorry...) i totally understand and will remove ^_^

i hope you guys didn't think i'd let jisung be forgiven so easily muehehehe i love angst.... + i also hope you guys don't mind me not making the text pink anymore bc it takes so long and my laptop is on its last days...

taglist:@dinonuguaegi @cookydream @haechansbbg @lisaswifey @fae-renjun@dudekiss3r @doughyk @sunflowerhae @bamjjwi @jsbluu@lizzieray @cigarettesafterjae @gomdoleemyson @ghostofscarley @valentinetown @haechskiss @nahyuckers @kyubing @clean-soap @yewshi

[ttjisung]

Did you create the Jisung Smau called "back 2 u" ?? If you did can I ask why you deleted it, if it's not too much? It's just it was one of my favorites and I really wanted to read it again😭

hii i did 😭 unfortunately writing about idols started messing up how i viewed kpop so i had to stop but i actually wouldn’t mind reuploading this smau since it was fairly innocent :3 if enough ppl would want more updates i might consider putting it back up and continuing it ^_^ tysm for reaching out im very glad you enjoyed it 🩷 jisungs still my fave bae and will always be…

[ttjisung]

satosugu as your slightly invasive roommates ⟢

⟶ mdni! smut, mxm, pretty vague, they steal your fave bra :c

♡⸝⸝

you met them through your coworker shoko, who told you she had friends that would be willing to let you move in for considerably cheap. 

when you met the two, they seemed nice enough, especially gojo who couldn’t help but smile brightly your way, biting his lip and sharing a knowing glance with geto when you would look away. 

they both helped you move in, carrying all the heavy boxes for you and insisting you just ‘sit your pretty self down and relax’. you couldn’t complain, resting on the couch while they hauled all of your furniture in. completely unaware as gojo went through your belongings, grinning and laughing with geto when he found a cute bra in your clothes. 

you huffed later that night when you were going through your already built drawers, wondering where your favorite set was. what a shame, you must’ve lost it in the transit. 

gojo wakes you up every day, bright and early, offering you breakfast that always smells too good to pass on. 

handing you pancakes and bacon he made, he blushes lightly when you hum while taking a bite, praising his cooking. he tries his best to be quiet that very same night when he’s touching himself, imagining it’s you praising him and making him feel good.

geto is more observant, not ever being outwardly rude yet clearly being more reclusive than his friend. still, he has moments of weakness where he’s more affected by you than he’d like to admit, like when gojo insists you all swim in the pool together, clearly an excuse to get you in a bikini.

not even twenty minutes into swimming, geto’s leaving quickly to take care of an issue you’ve caused him. he comes back after, acting as if he’s just gone to get a snack, and you don’t press him, but he can sense gojo’s questioning smirk from a mile away. 

when you all watch movies together, you’re squished between the two who move as close as possible without scaring you off. gojo’s arm is around your shoulder, while geto’s head is hovering above your neck. he waits until you’re distracted by a dramatic scene to move his head, inhaling your perfume. when he moves his head back, he meets gojo’s gaze, who no longer holds a teasing glint, instead replaced by a more tense edge.

you’re normally not home on fridays around five, it being the only day of the week where you take a later shift. today though, you were overstaffed and volunteered to be sent home seeing as you didn’t need the money as desperately as you did before. humming along to a random song you heard earlier, you unlock the door to the house, stepping in and removing your bag. 

your feet take you to the bathroom, where you go with a mission to take your makeup off and put your hair down. you’re interrupted by a noise coming from gojo’s room. strange, they normally tell you that they’re not home on fridays either, yet you’re hearing two voices come from behind the door. you decide to check in on them and ask whether they’d like to watch a movie.

your eyes widen as you open the door though, as your presented with the sight of gojo sinfully nude, head rolled back and arms propping him up, all the meanwhile geto’s hand is wrapped around him. the whines gojo lets out are loud, as if he wants you to look at him, even if he’s still not aware you’re there. geto’s completely clothed, sitting at the edge of the bed, lazily stroking gojo. 

the noise of the door creaking finally alerts the two that you’re there, and what you expect the least is for gojo to smirk at the sight of you. he looks at geto before motioning towards you, and geto stands up, walking your way. now that his body’s not covering half of the bed, you see the bra you’ve been looking for in gojo’s hand, covered with a white liquid which you can only assume came from him. 

geto stills in front of you, quirking his head to the side as if inviting you to come in without directly asking. you hope neither of them tell shoko as you allow him to guide you back, sitting you in between the two and pushing your head towards gojo’s so he can press his lips against yours eagerly, geto’s hands already working to remove your work shirt.

[ttjisung]

back 2 u 𝜗𝜚

p. jisung x fem!reader smau - exes to lovers

in which jisung does his best to avoid you, his ex, until he realizes his mistake far too late cw: suggestive themes, bad angst, cheating, swearing

i'm not going back, back, back, back, back

masterlist

previous next

chapter xviii.

a/n: haiiii... they're finally happy ^_^ or are they... will they survive jaemin.... >:3 we'll see later. also ignore that renjun's first tweets weren't capitalized ugh it's hard keeping track :x i'm catching up on the taglist bc it's still open so to the people who have asked and have not been put in it yet dw angels it'll be done by the next chapter i hope :3

taglist: @dinonuguaegi @cookydream @haechansbbg @lisaswifey @fae-renjun@dudekiss3r @doughyk @sunflowerhae @sunghoonsgfreal @jsbluu@lizzieray

[ttjisung]

back 2 u 𝜗𝜚

p. jisung x fem!reader smau - exes to lovers

in which jisung does his best to avoid you, his ex, until he realizes his mistake far too late cw: suggestive themes, bad angst, cheating, swearing

i'm not going back, back, back, back, back

masterlist

previous next

chapter xvii. (wc: 1.6k)

It had been a couple of days since Jisung had to cancel his dinner reservation for you both, and he wouldn’t admit it to anyone but as he called to let the host know, he had to hold in his tears.  

Everyday he struggled holding back from messaging you again – you made it clear that you’d prefer not to talk, but the clock was ticking and soon enough the confrontation that your friend group planned would take place. Jisung felt as though he needed to act quickly, and maybe you’d reward his regret with your attention. After the reunion in Yangyang and Dejun’s apartment, he drove straight to his apartment and began to watch rom-coms, holding a comically large notebook and pen to take notes. What he hadn’t expected, ranging from 10 Things I Hate About You to She’s All That, was the realization that if he was you, he wouldn’t forgive himself either. All of the male love interests were assholes, and had he not cried previously, he’s sure he would’ve once more knowing he was the asshole in your story. 

“You really need to stop checking those messages, Ji.” Renjun’s concerned voice rang out as he glanced over his friend’s shoulder, realizing he was once again reading the previous messages he sent to you, and moping around. Dodging the side eye Donghyuck sent Jisung’s way, he slipped his phone away, changing the topic. “Do you think he’s plotting on her right now?” The shrug his friends gave him only worsened the pit in his stomach that dropped as he imagined Jaemin and you together.

Jisung had to admit – he wasn’t blind. He had always known about Jaemin’s attraction to you, but it never raised any red flags. I mean, the younger of the two had fallen for you at first sight, it was no wonder that others wanted you too. What he didn’t know was how far the male was willing to go to steal you away from him.  

Sleeping that night was hard for Jisung, not knowing that you were in his exact same predicament. 

If you were being truthwell as well, you’d confess your darkest secret – a part of you had already forgiven Jisung. You noticed this part of you earlier, when Yangyang had to embarrassingly steal your own phone from you after you tried to call him, two bottles of Soju deep. Feeling motivated, you decided you’d walk to his apartment instead to talk. Dejun quickly locked the door and led you back to the living room. 

“Okay so… Okay… Think about it, okay?” Your words were slurred as you leaned on Yangyang’s shoulder for support. He nodded his head, prompting you to continue your drunk ramble. “Okay… He like… If I was him and I got told he cheated on me by one of you, like… Like I’d be sad too a bit I think. Cause you’re my bffs, and I trust you as much as him… So, I have decided to forgive-""Shut up, will you?” His voice quickly cut you off, and your eyes nearly missed the way he rolled his. 

It was as if an emotional alter ego possessed you every time you’d drink, mourning and crying about your relationship. Your friends simply hoped you wouldn’t remember when you were sober, because you’d either text him back with no one holding you back, or bash your head in from embarrassment. They didn’t know which one was worse. Unbeknownst to both, you remembered regardless, and it only added to the anxiety in your chest.

Before any of you knew it, it was Tuesday. The carefully crafted plan would take place tomorrow, and although you acted nonchalant when it was mentioned previously, you were more nervous than you cared to let off. You weren’t exactly sure why, considering you had barely interacted with the male before, and there was no true consequence for you. If you looked into it, though, you’d probably see the true cause of your anxiety – after this was finished, what would that mean for you and Jisung? 

You were upset with him, of course, but having barely experienced the pain of your break up weeks before, there was still a part of you that missed him. That being said, you couldn’t find it in yourself to contact him, or make the first move. He was the one that messed up, and it felt embarrassing to be the first to cave. 

As your bad luck had predicted, you were unknowingly forced into a difficult confrontation as the bell dinged in your favorite cafe, meaning someone else had stepped into the small building. Although the place essentially empty, you continued to read the book you had brought, not exactly being shocked by another person’s presence. What did shock you was when the voice spoke out, calling your name. “Y/n?” 

Your eyes widened at the familiar deep tone, shrinking into yourself as you edged away from Jisung, who was staring at you with wide eyes and weirdly red cheeks. All you managed to let out in response was a small “Umm… Hi.” “Hi… Can I… Can I sit with you?” “You haven’t even ordered yet.” His blush grew deeper as he realized you were right, he hadn’t. Quickly rushing to the counter and buying an already packaged coffee from the refrigerator next to him, he awkwardly shuffled back to your table - the only one being used. “I got something,” You nodded at him, still tense from the shock of seeing him, and he lifted a hand to cover the bottom half of his face in shame, “So, umm. Can I sit here now? Please.” You weren’t used to seeing him so flustered. Although he hadn’t ever been an introvert particularly, he never acted this way with you. 

You were panicking mentally, not knowing whether you should say yes or no. You feared if you said yes, he’d try to bargain with you about your relationship - a conversation you weren’t ready to have - yet if you were to decline, it would add ten pounds to the preexisting weight on your shoulders, making it more difficult to see him tomorrow. 

Painfully long seconds passed as you debated your two options, and as the time went by, Jisung’s face grew more and more pleading. Shifting so that he’d be closer to the chair facing yours, he took his shaky hand off his face and placed it on the back of the piece of furniture, in deluded hopes that it’d convince you to accept his request sooner. Not thanks to his weird tactic, but instead your sympathy, you nodded.  

Not wasting any time, and partially out of fear that you'd change your mind if he took too long, he rushed to sit down, leaving his drink on the table and staring at you intensely. “Ummm… I forgot that you knew about this place too. I’m– I’m sorry if I’m like, intruding.” He wasn’t sorry at all. If he was sorry, he wouldn’t have approached you like this, but you decided to simply blink twice and nod your head in acknowledgement. “It’s fine. I don’t mind seeing you in public, Jisung. We’re not enemies.” Although you had positive intentions with your words, wanting to ease the tension from his apology, he frowned deeply at what you said – the implication that you were closer to enemies than lovers left him feeling unsettled. 

You chose not to read into his facial expression, taking a sip of your drink and looking out the window instead. “How… How have you been?” The words sounded like they were painful coming from Jisung’s mouth, yet you appreciated how he changed the topic, because you did not wish for another uncomfortable conversation with him. 

“I’ve been… Fine. How about you?” “Well, I– me too. I’ve just been thinking about things, you know?” You hummed in agreement, not wanting to dive further into the things he’d been thinking of. “Are you ready for tomorrow?” Somehow, this new topic made you wish for the old one to return, but you refused to let your act slip so you just shrugged. “I guess so. Regardless of what happens, I don’t really know Jaemin so it’ll be fine.” Jisung nodded at your reply, eternally grateful that you were clearly disinterested in the male. “If you want, I could give you a ride?” The small laugh that you unwillingly let out had his heart swelling, and he swore his body warmed up at the sound. “Did you forget it’s at my place?” Jisung moved to cover his face once more, knowing he just made a fool out of himself. “I might’ve…” The way your eyes slightly crinkled had his mirroring you. You were somewhat enjoying the conversation if your laugh was proof, which meant you might reciprocate other actions. He took his hand off his face, placing it on the table boldly near yours – not enough to touch, but enough to send a message. 

For a second, you let it happen. It felt so natural that it’d be wrong to pull away, yet your brain replaced your heart, choosing to move your hands. The fact that you let yourself slip and laugh along with him was bad enough to create another problem in your head, and it had your mind reeling. “I… I have to go now, take care.” Almost like a gust of wind, you were gone before Jisung could even look up and beg you to stay and talk. 

Although the evening hadn't necessarily ended well, Jisung walked back to his apartment with several mixed thoughts in his head, hope renewing at the memory of your laugh. He kept reminding himself that he was closer than he had been before, and the idea of his progress with you lulled him to sleep.

a/n: hai guys... i know... i lied and took way longer than expected... my little excuse is that i got a new phone and it's so hard to replicate all of the smau profiles on every fake app to my new one <3 and i fear i've been so unmotivated to write lately tbh. but a hit off the penjamin has inspired me like nothing before so i'll figure it out :3 new deep ocean update coming soon as well. and my new jungwoo fic ^_^

taglist: @dinonuguaegi @cookydream @haechansbbg @lisaswifey @fae-renjun @dudekiss3r @doughyk @sunflowerhae @sunghoonsgfreal @jsbluu @lizzieray

[ttjisung]

back 2 u 𝜗𝜚

p. jisung x fem!reader smau - exes to lovers

in which jisung does his best to avoid you, his ex, until he realizes his mistake far too late cw: suggestive themes, bad angst, cheating, swearing

i'm not going back, back, back, back, back

masterlist

previous next

chapter xvi. (wc: 2.1k)

The atmosphere was tense in Yangyang and Dejun’s shared living room as you tried your best to avoid Jisung’s longing stare, directed straight at you. You had arrived earlier than the set meeting time, waiting by your best friends as the others arrived one after the other. To your dismay, and Jisung’s small amount of luck, said males had to run to a store quickly for snacks before, and he had ‘accidentally’ arrived early as well as you, meaning you both would have to sit alone in the living room until everyone else showed up. Naturally, he attempted to use the time carefully, trying to talk to you immediately and even stepping in for a subconscious hug when you opened the door for him. You had just frowned and stepped further away from him, causing him to reflect your expression and sigh. 

Although he had tried to shyly start up a conversation around four times, you gave simple and short responses in hopes of putting that to an end. He took the clue eventually, remembering how you asked for space and granting you exactly that, figuring listening to you would make you forgive him more quickly. His inner dialogue encouraged him, telling himself it was just a matter of time - I mean, you both are soulmates. He was sure you’d hear him out soon enough, as long as he followed your requests respectfully. 

Nonetheless, you almost regretted your choice of awkward silence as you began to feel holes burn into the side of your face. Looking at the male sitting on the opposite side of the couch, he didn’t even try to hide his stare, simply blushing at being caught yet continuing to gaze your way. 

“Umm… Is everything okay?” Eventually you let out the question, wanting to raise awareness to the fact that he was shamelessly observing your every move. “No.” His answer was quick, determined almost, yet the look on his face remained the same - long, yearning, and pleading. You hadn’t expected him to actually answer your question, and the look of confusion on your face grew at his response. “What’s wrong?” You decided to ask, hoping it might distract him and change the look that was beginning to overwhelm you. “You’re so far away. You shouldn’t be so far from me, Y/nie.” You could tell there was a second meaning in his words as his eyes glazed over yours intensely, contrary to his shy behavior from earlier. Regardless of the metaphor behind his sentence, he waved his hands between you two, signaling the actual physical distance. 

You nodded, holding in a breath yet choosing not to move closer. You felt extremely weary around him, that the distance almost didn’t feel like enough, if anything. He misunderstood your nod though, taking it as approval to slowly inch closer to you. He knew to leave a foot or so between your bodies, remembering your warning once more, yet his long arm moved near you, gripping onto the cloth of the couch next to you in place of your own hand. Noticing how close he was, you spoke up quickly. “Jisung-” “I know. I… I’m giving you space, just… Please, it’s been so long since I’ve felt you.” Almost as a visual demonstration, he finally hooked his pinky with yours, shifting his body to face you, yet you shook your head at the action, removing your hand and placing it on your lap. 

Jisung frowned, and let out a sound of retaliation that almost resembled a whine. He noticed how you tensed up and looked down at your own lap though, deciding to abide by your unspoken rule; yet he only moved his arm back, staying in his spot that was merely a couple of inches away from yours. 

It became your lucky day as the door burst open, revealing both Yangyang and Dejun, as well as the figures of Donghyuck and Renjun, who were all appearingly arguing. The luck faded as Renjun looked your way, eyes widening. Neither of you had realized it until now, but it had been very long since you had seen each other. You had reached out to him several times throughout the occurring conflict, yet he never responded, making it obvious he had ‘sided’ with Jisung, and not you. 

Everyone else, including Jisung, blurred away as you looked into your old best friend’s eyes. They were both sad and surprised, you could tell. Renjun had always been reclusive, never outwardly reacting to anything, yet you knew him well enough to understand how he was feeling. You stayed in that position, simply looking at each other for a minute or two. The rest of the guests had moved to the kitchen, following after the snacks, except for the two of you, meaning there was no interruption for the moment you were sharing. 

After a particularly shaky sigh from his mouth, he lifted his hand, waving at you lightly and attempting to send you a small smile - one that resembled the same as the one he gave you at the mall when you were so convinced he was trying to hurt you once more. The boy’s heart dropped once he realized a tear had fallen down your cheek. You reached out with a jacket-covered hand, wiping it off and quickly looking away from him. Wanting nothing more than to approach you and hug you, which was extreme considering he really didn’t like physical affection from most, his plan to do so was ruined as you stood up, rushing towards the kitchen and ignoring his small yelp of protest, as well as his footsteps which clearly were rushing after you and the light call of your name that left his mouth. 

The tension followed you both as you made your way next to Dejun, almost shielding yourself from Renjun with his body. Understanding your desire to avoid him, he decided it’d be best to wait until you talked to him first, nodding to himself and standing next to Donghyuck who was taking his time raiding the grocery bags placed on the kitchen island. 

If Yangyang and Dejun noticed the awkward atmosphere, they didn’t say anything, yet it became painfully obvious as you now had not only one but two males staring at you intently. One was gazing your way with a painful, lovesick stare, and the other a more cautious look, filled with concern. What both faces shared was the amount of regret that could be detected in their eyes. It was clear in the way that you avoided both that you didn’t want to make amends with either, to their misfortune.  

The tension was slightly eased as Yangyang spoke loudly, calling for everyone’s attention. “As I mentioned, we already kind of have a basis for the plan. We don’t want it to be intricate or anything too dramatic.” He started, ironically enough, pulling out a notebook full of worded ideas and strategies that basically screamed both intricate and dramatic. “Yang, put that away. I already know what we should do.” You protested, sliding the book towards Dejun who nodded and slipped it into a random drawer. “It’s not hard. I just have to ask to hang out, he’s been asking to meet again already anyway.” You tried your best to miss the way Jisung flinched at your words. “I’ll invite him to my place,” his frown grew deeper, “and then you guys just wait and approach him once he’s there. I don’t think he’ll lie if he’s confronted by so many people.” “But what if he leaves?” Donghyuck asked, noting the possible flaw, “Then it doesn’t matter. We tried. I mean, we all know the truth by now. I don’t think he’s my friend so I have nothing to lose. It’s up to you guys to decide if you’ll keep him in your lives.” You shrugged, phrasing your words in a nonchalant way yet of course, Jisung protested quickly. “Keep him in our lives? He ruined everything, Y/nie. There’s… there’s no way we can stay friends.” “That’s okay, you don’t have to then.”

He shouldn’t have assumed that you’d be moved by his words, yet your response made him shake his head, and the dam that had he been holding back finally broke. He moved from his place around the island, coming close to you and clearly directing his words to you only. “Y/nie.” “Jisung, please. It's… There’s nothing more to say.” “Yes there is. How can you think I’d ever keep him in my life when he took you away from me. You know more than anyone that I love you.” You sighed at his panicked rambling, cringing slightly as you realized this was going on in front of everyone. His hands came to hold your shoulders, encouraging you to look at him as he professed his feelings for what appeared to be the hundredth time. “Do I? You’ve done nothing to show me you love me in the past month.” Your words shut him down almost instantly, and his lip wobbled as he held back tears. Instead of arguing, he just placed his head on your shoulder, almost as if it was second nature, and it was then that he finally let go, starting to cry once more. Looking around for help, you were slightly shocked to see Renjun, who you had always seen as the most level-headed friend you’ve had, reflecting Jisung’s state. You had expected a judgeful look on his face, maybe even a scoff, yet you came across a frown that paralleled his friend’s. If you were to look close enough, you would even see the tears that prickled at his waterline. 

Not knowing what to do with the heavy body of your ex-boyfriend that was embarrassingly clinging onto you in front of the group, you just patted his back awkwardly, hoping the reassurance would make him regain composure, yet his sobs grew and his hold on you tightened, feeling touched by the fact that you were initiating contact with him at a certain extent. It was the first time you tried to comfort him since you had broken up, and it made him feel even worse. The fact that your touch had become unfamiliar to him made him want to cry until he passed out, which he was set on doing until your pats slowly ended, and were replaced by the hand of Donghyuck, who pulled the taller male off of you finally. “Let’s go, pal.” He led him back to the living room to take a breath, or that’s what you assumed at least. 

The whole scenario was odd, and had only worked to increase your stress. Dejun noticed, poking Yangyang as if it was a signal for him to comfort you. Renjun had followed along with his friends, leaving you alone with the two. In response to the poke, Yangyang moved near you, holding you in a half-hug and kissing your temple. You’re sure if Jisung saw the small peck, he would burst a fuse and either cry or try to fight the male, and the thought of it made you giggle, contrasting the tears that were building up in your eyes. Both of your friends smiled at the sound of your laughter, and after a while, you gained the courage to re-enter the living room to dive into the specifics of what the plan would be.

Jisung saw your retreating figure, quickly brushing Donghyuck off his side to make an available seat next to him in hopes of feeling your warmth once more, yet the hopeful small grin was wiped off his face as a loud body fell next to his, belonging to Yangyang who was rambling in what appeared to be gibberish about a random topic he was fighting with Dejun over. You decided to sit next to Renjun, and his eyes lit up slightly in your direction, almost as if he was unspokenly thanking you. Although you remained distant next to him, you began to scheme about the possible ways you’d lure Jaemin into your apartment. Deciding with sending a quick text, five bodies hovered over your shoulder as you began to carefully craft and type out the message, sending it right after. It was decided that you would ask him to meet up next Wednesday, for help with garden work - you didn’t even own a garden. 

Unsurprisingly, his text of agreement came quickly after, sending you far too many emojis to appear nonchalant and cool. Donghyuck began to mock him for his usage of the images, yet was quickly silenced as Renjun pulled out his own phone, entering the messaging app and exposing him for the hypocritical liar he was.

a/n: hai... it's been a while... sorryyyyyy guysssss :ccccc :////// I'M BACK! with a slightly longer chapter in hopes of making you all ignore the fact that this took me a week or two. deep ocean updates coming soon too dw ^_^ hope u all had a good halloween if u celebrate <3 you all knowwww i was busting down doors in my costume even though i'm old enough to be paying bills.

btw if you're in the taglist and it keeps sending you notifications SORRY! i always do it wrong so i have to edit it again like a million times... idk if it notifies you every time i add you again :/ </3

taglist:

@dinonuguaegi @cookydream @haechansbbg @lisaswifey @fae-renjun

@dudekiss3r @doughyk @sunflowerhae @sunghoonsgfreal @jsbluu

@lizzieray

[ttjisung]

back 2 u 𝜗𝜚

p. jisung x fem!reader smau - exes to lovers

in which jisung does his best to avoid you, his ex, until he realizes his mistake far too late cw: suggestive themes, bad angst, cheating, swearing

i'm not going back, back, back, back, back

masterlist

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chapter xv.

a/n: hai... it's been a while... im sorry guys </3 college is literally making me contemplate whether i'm clinically insane. i'll try my best to keep updating asap

go check out my new seunghan smau hehehe if you want to :3 the first chapters are coming out

taglist:

@dinonuguaegi @cookydream @haechansbbg @lisaswifey @fae-renjun

@dudekiss3r @doughyk @sunflowerhae @sunghoonsgfreal @jsbluu

@lizzieray

[ttjisung]

back 2 u 𝜗𝜚

p. jisung x fem!reader smau - exes to lovers

in which jisung does his best to avoid you, his ex, until he realizes his mistake far too late cw: suggestive themes, bad angst, cheating, swearing

i'm not going back, back, back, back, back

masterlist

previous next

chapter xiv.

a/n: sooooo. i have not updated in a while. i am just genuinely distraught because of the seunghan situation :c

but i'm finally back!!! i'm going to be starting a written jungwoo fic soon too :3 im excited for that guysss that's my man

anyway be honest guys are you going to the restaurant friday night or NOT cause me personally i will be there an hour early with a bouquet for my beautiful man jisung.

taglist:

@dinonuguaegi @cookydream @haechansbbg @lisaswifey @fae-renjun

@dudekiss3r @doughyk @sunflowerhae @sunghoonsgfreal @jsbluu

@lizzieray

[ttjisung]

back 2 u 𝜗𝜚

p. jisung x fem!reader smau - exes to lovers

in which jisung does his best to avoid you, his ex, until he realizes his mistake far too late cw: suggestive themes, bad angst, cheating, swearing

i'm not going back, back, back, back, back

masterlist

previous next

chapter xiii. (wc: 2k)

All it took was one knock on your door to make the panic flare inside of you. It wasn’t like you were scared of Jisung - in fact, you’re convinced you never truly could be - you just wanted to avoid the confrontation that would naturally entail from opening the door and seeing said man. 

Nonetheless, you were also aware of his persistent nature, and with the explanation Renjun gave about his motive to see you in person, you were sure he wouldn’t leave until he saw you and spoke to you. Sighing as you stood up, you creeped near the door and looked through the peephole, and there he stood. He looked miserable, if you had to choose one word to describe him. Unintentionally, you shifted on your foot at the sight and the floorboard under you creaked, alerting him you were near. You watched in panic through the small hole as his face shifted towards where he assumed you’d stand on the opposite side, “Y/n, baby. Please let me in. Let’s talk, please.” He sounded desperate to say the least. 

Out of shock at being caught looking at him, you cursed lightly before taking several steps back. You almost considered accepting Dejun’s offer, yet it would complicate and probably escalate the scenario, so with a deep breath, you creeped to the door again, holding onto the knob. Your plan was simple - you’d dismiss him quickly and tell him to go back home before kicking him out, as you did with Donghyuck, yet as you opened the door, you were unprepared for Jisung to launch his whole body onto you, holding onto you tightly as soon as he had a view of your full body. “Baby… Fuck, ‘m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” He mumbled into your hair as he pressed himself as physically close to you as possible, placing a large hand on your head to push you into him. Gaining consciousness again after the initial shock, you were quick to try to separate yourself from him, yet he wouldn’t allow it to occur. 

Keeping his hand on your head, his other arm slithered across your waist and pulled the both of you back into your living room, using his foot to kick the door shut behind you, and the scene almost appeared domestic - it reminded you of all the times he’d receive you the same way after a long day of not seeing each other. You almost melted into it and let him continue to move you around near the couch, yet you snapped out of it quickly, trying your hardest to overpower him as you let out a whine of struggle. “Jisung, please let go.” You whispered but he was quick to retaliate, shaking his head and holding you closer. “I’m your Ji, Y/nie. You don’t have to call me Jisung anymore.” “I do-” “You don’t.” He finally pulled away to observe your face, and his heart dropped at the sight of tears lining in your eyes. “No, no. Don’t cry, shit… Y/n, don’t cry.” He leaned down and shifted his hand from your waist to wipe your tears, yet he felt even worse as he saw you flinch from his touch. Frowning, he finally let go of your body yet his hand engulfed yours, dragging you to the couch where he finally took a seat, pulling you to sit next to him.

“We need to talk.” Although his words sounded serious, it was impossible to take them seriously as he stared at you with such an intense and pleading expression. “Jisung, I know what you’re going to say… I don’t want to-” “No, baby. I… I know you know I’m going to apologize, but I need to. And I need to do it here because you won’t talk to me online. You blocked me-” “You blocked me first.” He flinched at the reminder, and the familiar feeling of angst and regret built up inside of him once more as he began to think about how awful he was to you in the messages he sent. 

“I’m not going to give up, Y/n. Even if you don’t want to see me, I’m going to fight for you. I’m going to fight for us, and I’m going to make it up to you, I promise.” Jisung began to ramble, yet his words were chosen carefully as he feared you wouldn’t approve of them, kicking him out in return. “You need to believe me, baby, I didn’t know it was a lie. I love you so much.” “You don’t though,” You whispered in response, growing tired of him claiming such things after how cruel he was towards you, “If you loved me, we’d be together right now. If you loved me, you would have trusted me, or at least asked me about the photo, and you’d listen to me and believe me, and you definitely would not have broken up with me.” “Y/n, the breakup didn’t count. Please, I did it because of a lie… A mistake, so it didn’t count, right? We’re still together… I take back everything I said.” Jisung began to sound deluded, and it made you frown harder, “It doesn’t work like that. What’s done is done-” “But we’re not done. We can’t be, we love each other. So we’re not done.” His head was shaking again, and he was moving closer to you once more, muffling his words as he held you again and pressed his head into your shoulder. Although you attempted to move further away, his grip kept you there, sitting still in silence for a minute. Soon enough, you began to feel a familiar warmth engulf your shirt, and it was then that you realized he was crying as well. “I really… I really do love you, Y/n. So, so much. Even if you don’t believe me, I do.” His words continued to slur, caught in between the fabric of your now soaked shirt, and your hair, and you sighed, raising your hand to his head to gently pull him away.

“I… I do believe you do, Jisung,” Hope lit up in the boy's eyes and his once imprinted frown began to fade, turning into a timid grin as he leaned towards you, “I knew you would, Y/nie. I missed you so much.” Without so much as a warning, his lips crashed onto yours, and the familiar feeling made you swoon momentarily, having missed his touch for so long, so you reciprocated, moving your hand on his head to grip onto his hair, and he let out a whine at the feeling, the sound resonating against your mouth and bringing you back to reality. Letting go of him, you pushed him further away, wiping your lips and shaking your head. “We can’t-” “No, baby. We can. We need to.” He leaned in once again, trying to hold your face in his hands to encourage you to kiss him back, yet you refused, looking away and he stopped, not wanting to push you into something physical you didn’t want. 

“I do believe you, Jisung… But it doesn’t change what you’ve done. I… I know Jaemin was lying about a lot of things, but even Renjun admitted that the messages you sent in your group chat were real. The ones where you said…” A sob caught in your throat as you refused to look at him, even though he still held your face in his hands, “You said you regretted meeting me. You said you wouldn’t be happy with me, even if I hadn’t cheated.” “I didn’t mean any of those words, Y/nie, please. I was just mad and frustrated-” “I would never ever say that about you. We could be having the worst fight in the world, Jisung, and I still would never even think about you like that.” A silence followed after your words, only being slightly interrupted by the hitches in both of your breaths as you both cried. After a painfully uncomfortable minute, Jisung broke the silence. 

“What can I do? I’ll do anything.” A sigh from you followed before you replied, “You’ve done enough, Jisung. So have I. I really tried to make it work, and it didn’t. I’ve accepted it.” “I won’t accept that, and you shouldn’t either.” Jisung shifted once more, grabbing your hands in his larger ones instead of your face, and he moved so you’d be facing one another. “I know I was a dick, and there’s not going to be one moment of my life where I won’t regret it, but I’ll fix it, baby. I can make it up to you and we can work on our relationship. I know I won’t immediately win your trust back, but I want to keep trying.” “You can’t, Jisung. Please.” “Can you.. Can you at least unblock me? I promise I won’t spam you or anything… I just… I feel uneasy not being able to contact you at all.” “We shouldn’t be contacting each other if we want to move on-” “I don’t. I don’t want to move on, and I know I can play my cards right, and you won’t want to either. Please. I’ll get another number if I have to.” Sighing at his insistence, you nodded, realizing agreeing was the only way to get him to leave and let you calm down. “I… I won’t go until I see you unblock me, Y/n. I need to see it.” You stood up to gather your phone, yet Jisung panicked slightly, trying to pull you back down until he noticed your eyes facing the direction of your device, so he reluctantly let go, standing up and trailing behind you. 

Once you picked up the device, you turned around, facing him. You didn’t expect him to be so close, towering over you, and you swear you could feel his breath on you, making you shiver, yet he cornered you slightly, so you simply unlocked the phone, going to your contacts and looking up his number, seeing it was blocked. His eyes lit up slightly realizing, although he was blocked, that you had kept his contact as you once had, the familiar nickname peeking at him, yet the feeling was fleeting as you unblocked him, moving your fingers quickly to replace the cute ‘Ji <3’ and write down Park Jisung instead. He sighed, allowing it with no remark because he was already grateful enough that you had listened to his request. 

“It’s late now, I think you should go.” Jisung nodded, not putting up a fight as he knew it’d simply worsen your mood. He followed you to the door, and stood there awkwardly as you stared at him. Deciding to take initiative again, he leaned in once more, leaving a small, quick peck on the corner of your mouth this time, before pulling away. “Goodnight, Y/nie. I love you, and I’m so sorry.” You nodded, and what Jisung didn’t know was that you had to fight several parts inside of you, urging you to proclaim the words of affection back. “Bye, Jisung.” With that being said, you closed the door on him, and had he not been staring at you like a hawk, he would have missed the way your mouth curled down at the last second, and tears reappeared in your eyes. 

He mirrored your actions, sniffling all the way back to his car before entering it, sitting there for around fifteen minutes, just thinking about the whole interaction and what he could possibly do to get back to where you two had been before - so loving and caring, and happy with each other. 

Jisung would never forgive himself for ever making you cry, but he knew he had to gain your graces back, and he wouldn’t stop until he did. He knew you two were meant to be, and although he messed up and slowed down the process, you were his soulmate and he would stop at nothing to get you back.

a/n: omg... the angst is getting to me... at least he's over his hater arc :c yet much more angst to come...

on a good note, i finally made a taglist ^_^ lmk if you want to be in it!

alsooo i'm gonna self promote cause i have no shame, i have two new smaus :3 one is a yangyang x reader smau on this account and the other is a seunghan one to celebrate our king coming back! the seunghan one is on my riize account @rii7ett so check it out if you want! so far i only have the profiles for the seunghan fic, but the yangyang one is already releasing chapters :3

taglist:

@dinonuguaegi @cookydream @haechansbbg @lisaswifey @fae-renjun

@dudekiss3r @doughyk @sunflowerhae @sunghoonsgfreal @jsbluu

@lizzieray

[ttjisung]

back 2 u 𝜗𝜚

p. jisung x fem!reader smau - exes to lovers

in which jisung does his best to avoid you, his ex, until he realizes his mistake far too late cw: suggestive themes, bad angst, cheating, swearing

i'm not going back, back, back, back, back

masterlist

previous next

chapter xii. (wc: 1k + social media near the end)

Jisung sat tensely in front of both Renjun and Donghyuck, feeling more uncomfortable by the second as the two stared at him intently. It was hard to read their expressions, yet they appeared to be a mix of pity, frustration and warmth. “So… I didn’t know you were going to be here, Hyuck.” “He wasn’t going to be but he insisted, you know how annoying he gets.” Renjun responded, making the other male huff, “Hey! Don’t speak about me like I’m not right next to you, you bitch.” “Shut up and be serious for a second.” The two collected themselves, facing the younger male, and the mixed expressions arised once again.

“We have something to tell you, and it's really really crucial that you hear us out completely before making any rash decisions, alright?” “What is this, an intervention?” Jisung knew something was up when neither of his friends laughed at his attempt to lighten the air.

“I guess I’ll just rip off the bandaid,” Renjun breathed in before opening his mouth to speak, yet Donghyuck was quick to interrupt him, “Y/n didn’t cheat on you!” A heavy silence took over the room after his outburst, and he winced at his irrational, loud behavior. “Hyuck! You dumbass, I didn’t mean that quick.” As the two argued, they failed to realize the grimace that was placed on Jisung’s face. “Who put you up to this? It’s not funny, guys. Seriously, fuck you. You know that this has affected me and you’re just joking-” Renjun cut off his jumbled rambling, “It’s not a joke… Or a lie. I know you won’t believe me when I tell you Jaemin was behind all of this but we have proof. It’s important that you do not confront him though, Ji. Y/n’s friends have their own way to deal with that.” 

The older male took out his phone and opened his photo gallery, handing it to his friend, and Jisung could feel his heart pounding harshly as he scrolled through the videos and screenshots. He couldn’t process what he was seeing so he just began to shake his head, a pit in his stomach growing as he threw the phone back before stuffing his face into his arms, all the while his head was still moving dramatically. “No.” His voice came out muffled. “What do you mean no?” Donghyuck instigated, wondering why he was reacting in such an abstract manner. “No, no, no… Fuck… No. It’s not… It’s not true.” Jisung’s whole body began to shake, and it was then that the two older males heard the sob he choked out. Renjun moved next to him, trying to pat his back in a consoling way, yet it just made him sob harder, the reality kicking in that you in fact did not cheat on him, and he ruined everything. 

It almost felt like a dream - a weird twisted nightmare; as he screwed his eyes shut, all he could envision was images of the two of you… your first date, the beach day you shared, your first kiss, your last date that had gone so well, and lastly, he remembered the day you stepped foot into his apartment, when he hurt you in a way that couldn’t be healed. 

It was all rushing back to him at once and he couldn’t handle it, shooting up from the couch in a rush to find his phone. Ignoring his friends’ concerned questions, he quickly dialed your number into the device, finally letting his tears fall down at the sound of the dial tone informing him he couldn’t reach you. His shaky hands opened your previous texts, wincing at the exchange of words before typing in some clumsily spelled texts, begging you to answer, yet the shade of color quickly turned to green and he began to panic.

“Shit… I have to see her. I need to go.” “Jisung stop! We told you to not act irrationally. Hyuck went to go see her and it didn’t end well.” “Are you fucking kidding me? You knew long enough to go see her but you didn’t think to tell me?! Her fucking boyfriend?” He was seeing red, and was about to storm out of the apartment until Renjun pushed him down onto the couch. “Calm the hell down Ji. He literally went last night, and in case you don’t remember, you aren’t her boyfriend because you broke up with her. Don’t take that shit out on us when we’re trying to help you fix this. Now, you need to calm down before you show up all mad to her apartment and do something you’ll regret, and she’ll hate you even more for it.” Jisung’s heavy breathing overtook the awkward silence that engulfed the room, before an unfamiliar whisper came from his voice, “You… you think she hates me?” Both Donghyuck and Renjun frowned at the sight of Jisung’s anger being replaced with unadulterated sorrow.

“She’s not happy with any of us Ji, not just you. But she loves you, and I know you love her, so I think you have the best shot at making positive progress with her. The only way you can do this is if you calm down, okay?” He nodded at Renjun’s words, slumping over in the chair, and for a while, the two older friends thought they had succeeded in calming him down until it finally processed in Jisung’s brain that Jaemin had caused this because he so obviously wanted to replace him. Ignoring the yelp that came out of the shortest male’s mouth as Jisung shifted away from him, he got up once more, yet this time he trekked to the door. “I’m going to go see her and figure this out. I won’t do shit to Jaemin yet, but I need to see her. Don’t stop me.” Were his last words as he slammed the door behind him, leaving both Donghyuck and Renjun in shock.

Renjun was removed from his trance when he felt his phone buzz from the table, and when he picked it up he saw the reason why - Yangyang and Dejun had made a group chat and added him. It was then that he realized how badly he messed up, as he remembered Dejun’s warning of not telling Jisung, so he picked up the device, trying to find a way to warn you before Jisung’s abrupt arrival.

a/n: cliffhangerrr alert >_< i'm getting nervie and i'm the one writing this... i'm almost done with the taglist so i should be able to use it by the next chapter :3

ALSO GUYS ALERT! i'm starting another smau and do not even worry about me forgetting ab this one because although i'm real bad at multitasking, jisung is my main man and i could never forget ab him... specially when the fic is finally getting good

but i'm gonna be doing a yangyang smau ^o^ spoiler alert its gonna be like an idol x idol one where he has the hugest celebrity crush on you cause i love men yearning. this should be coming out soon :3

i want to give a hugeee thanks to the lovely person who recommended these messaging apps to me <3 saved my life forreal and now i'm going to be able to release the chapters a lot quicker for both smaus

i know someone asked for a jungwoo fic and do not fret either because i'm going to be making a series for him next but i'm still debating making it a smau or written... it'll probably be smau lol. so prepare for these projects if you are interested and if not thats fine too :p i'm still gonna be updating this one c:

[ttjisung]

back 2 u 𝜗𝜚

p. jisung x fem!reader smau - exes to lovers

in which jisung does his best to avoid you, his ex, until he realizes his mistake far too late cw: suggestive themes, bad angst, cheating, swearing

i'm not going back, back, back, back, back

masterlist

previous next

chapter xi. (wc: 2.1k + social media near the end)

Renjun had a plan, and it wasn’t going to be easy. According to his conversation with Dejun, it was crucial to find proof of Jaemin’s misdeeds before informing their mutual friends - yet finding a time alone with said boy’s phone would be near impossible, considering there’d be a large sum of people in his apartment. 

After a while of organizing a scheme during his late night hours, Renjun had settled with mistaking his bag with Jaemin’s, and taking it into the bathroom to quickly shoot a video of his shared messages with Jisung. There were two flaws in this plan: Renjun had no bag that could be nearly mistaken with Jaemin’s incredibly unique and decorated tote, and even if he was able to jump over this hurdle eventually, he was not aware of his password. That being said, Jaemin was extremely predictable when it came to those things, so he assumed it’d be something along the lines of the anniversary of getting his cats. 

Regardless of whether he was ready or not, Renjun was insistent on getting this evidence, feeling insanely guilty for the way he treated you. It didn’t entirely hit him until he saw you at a mall and waved at you, causing you to flinch and frown once you located him, that he realized how much he must’ve hurt you, and he knew he’d have to start working immediately to gain your forgiveness if he was to ever make up for his actions. You two had such a deep bond before the mishap, and he wasn’t willing to forget it so easily as he had before. Using that as encouragement, Renjun was prepared when the sun came and he was setting up snacks. 

Jisung was the first to come, having a lot of spare time since your breakup, considering he was attached to your hip before. After him was Jeno, then Donghyuck, then lastly Jaemin. The rest had informed him earlier on that they’d be unavailable, which served as a breath of relief, because he knew it’d be harder to sneak around with two other nosy individuals watching his every move. 

“I have to use the bathroom, but can you guys continue setting up in the kitchen? Leave your stuff here, I don’t want a mess on the table.” Renjun tried with all his might to appear unsuspicious, and it worked mostly since he had a very neutral tone, yet he missed one flaw in his plan - Donghyuck could not follow directions if his life depended on it. While the rest of the guys headed into the kitchen, Renjun took the green light to grab Jaemin’s bag, and he felt pride swell up at his success until a voice interrupted him. “What are you doing with his bag, Jun?” The voice was inquisitive, noticing how unusual it was for Renjun to confuse his own belongings. 

“Oh, umm.. I just… There’s something I forgot… Umm-” “Don’t lie to me. Fess up.” “Fine, but you have to come into the bathroom with me.” “Are you flirting with me? I never thought this day would come-” Donghyuck’s quirky remark was stopped by Renjun pulling him by the ear. 

“Okay. You have to promise to not blow my cover or snitch about any of this, it’ll ruin everything.” Donghyuck simply nodded, encouraging the older male to continue. “Dejun contacted me…” “That loser? Really?” “New rule. Don’t interrupt either. Anyway, he basically proved Y/n’s innocence to me. I know you’re like dead set on hating her and trust me, I was too, but they genuinely had all the proof necessary.” Donghyuck’s eyes widened at the revelation, almost in a shocked trance as he recalled all of his cruel words, yet Renjun continued. “Someone framed her, and all signs point to Jaemin. I knew from the beginning that he kind of had his eye on her, right? But I never knew it was this bad. Dejun told me he told Y/n that he and Jisung were fighting, which is a lie, and so Dejun told me to record his messages with Jisung to show her proof that he’s lying. After that, I’m allowed to tell you all that Y/n didn’t cheat. They already have a plan to confront Jaemin.” 

The scene in front of Renjun was not one he was expecting - tears ran down Donghyuck’s closed eyes, and he quickly sniffled, raising his hand to wipe his cheeks. “Renjun… It’s… It’s all my fault, shit. He told me! I swear he showed me a photo… But I didn’t know…” “It’s okay, Hyuck. Calm down. What are you talking about?” “Jaemin! He showed me a photo of Y/n supposedly cheating, and I told Jisung, but now that I think about it - it probably wasn’t her, she just had similar hair. Fuck, she’s going to hate me. She probably already does… All I’ve done is tear her down and accuse her online.. Renjun, what do I do?” His desperation was obvious as he kept crying, reaching out to grab his friend’s arms and plead. “Help me distract Jaemin, Hyuck. It’s the best way you can help prove she’s innocent, and once we do this we can all apologize.” Renjun’s words were enough to make Donghyuck calm down and nod, rushing out of the bathroom to do as he was instructed. 

Once he left, Renjun was quick to pull out his own phone, recording Jaemin’s messages with Jisung. Unsurprisingly, his password was his cats’ anniversary. Not even bothering to read them all, he just caught glimpses of the shared words, and it was clear to see Jaemin was lying. The feeling of hope surged in his body, knowing this would definitely be enough to both clear your name and prove to Jisung that you were innocent. The hope was diminished a bit, remembering Dejun’s words - you weren’t looking for Jisung’s forgiveness anymore, and the feelings you felt for him were no longer positive. 

He thought back to the day after the breakup, when he was at Jisung’s apartment and you had left gifts at his doorstep. The fact that you were innocent throughout that exchange, and this could’ve been communicated earlier, as he assumed the letter you left was your attempt at explaining yourself, made his grief grow. Maybe if Jisung had known at that time, you would’ve gladly taken him back, yet it appeared that wasn’t an option anymore. 

Nonetheless, you deserved to be apologized to, and Renjun was planning on helping this occur, so he swiped up until it was undebatable that you were being lied to, and after doing so, he snuck back into the living room, slipping the phone back into Jaemin’s bag and making a grand appearance in the kitchen. 

It was truly hard to not make a scene right then and there, confronting the male, yet he knew it would be much more satisfying for you if you and your friends did so, so he held back, acting like nothing happened.

Throwing a glance at Donghyuck, who appeared to recover from his sobbing moment quickly, he nodded his head as to let him know he had succeeded, and a small grin grew on Donghyuck’s face. The rest of the night went as planned, yet every time either of the two interacted with Jaemin, there was a small disdain. On one side, Jaemin was their best friend and they had grown up together, yet on the other, he clearly didn’t value friendship as he was quick to throw away Jisung’s happiness, alongside yours, for his own selfish motives, so with all the strength Renjun could muster, he continued his plan until the very end. Once the night had ended and the boys had all left, he picked up his phone, navigating to his messages with Dejun and sending the video, in which he strategically clicked on Jaemin’s contact at the last minute, to make sure there was no excuse he could use, such as saying it wasn’t his number and the profile was fake. His part of plan was finally finished, and it was up to Dejun and Yangyang to take over now.

It was around midnight when a knock on your door disturbed your sleep. You had assumed, being as late as it was, that it must be a friend in an emergency, so you gathered yourself before approaching the door, yet as you checked through the peephole, the guest was not who you had expected.

“Donghyuck? What are you doing here?” With no verbal answer, the male quickly approached you and took you by shock by embracing you in a hug. Your eyes widened and you failed to reciprocate the affection, feeling uncomfortable instead of the usual warmth you once experienced with him. After a while of his embrace, he realized you weren’t accepting his hug and stepped back, and the tears came back concerningly quick.

“Y/nie,” he started with the nickname he used to address you by, which brought back several memories, yet the shell you had grown took over once more, refusing to find comfort in what he was saying, “I’m so, so sorry. You have to believe me… I didn’t know.” Putting two and two together, you gathered that he was unconsciously addressing the elephant in the room - he was aware, now, that you hadn’t cheated. 

You should’ve felt angry, honestly. You should’ve kicked him out of your apartment and cussed him out before slamming the door on his face, yet all you could feel was sorrow. Sorrow for how quickly he abandoned your friendship, sorrow for the fact that it took him this long to realize you weren’t capable of cheating, and sorrow for the fact that you couldn’t find it in yourself to forgive him. You weren’t mad at him, you were simply disappointed, and this disappointment prohibited your mind from allowing him back in, so you shook your head at his words, taking a step back into your familiar living room. 

His eyes faltered as he noticed you weren’t accepting what he was saying, and his desperation grew once more as he stepped forward, trying to follow you, yet you stopped him with an arm to his chest. “Donghyuck…” He flinched at the tone in which you said his name, also noticing that you didn’t call him Hyuck as you once did, yet he didn’t believe it was at his liberty to ask you to, so he let you continue. “I don’t know how you found out but… But I don’t want you guys coming over here please. I assume you all know now… and I don’t want to see you. Any of you. Please understand where I’m coming from… I’m not mad, I just… We aren’t friends anymore, you made that clear, so please leave. And tell the others to not come either.” Donghyuck’s tears increased at your words, and a part of you would find this scene humorous - he wasn’t even the one who broke up with you yet he seemed so torn by what you said - had you not been so miserable at the current situation. 

“Y/n, please. I… I get why you don’t want to see us, but we’re all so, so sorry, and we want to make it up to you. I know why you said we aren’t friends - none of us have treated you like one, but we can make it up to you and we will.. Please… Jisung loves you and I know when he finds out, he’s going to feel so horrible, and he’s going to seek you out. If you can’t forgive us, please at least listen to him.” Donghyuck didn’t miss the way you lightly flinched at the mention of your ex, and it was then that you began to cry as well, mirroring him. “No.” Your tone was hushed, almost a whisper as you shook your head, “I tried… I did… He ignored me, he called me a whore Donghyuck! I don’t want to see him please… Don’t tell him the truth, I’d rather he think I cheated. He doesn’t love me, because he doesn’t trust me at all… You get that, right? We were together for years, yet at a mere mention of me being supposedly unfaithful he… he left me… You can’t love someone and not trust them.” Your words were rambled and the tears grew tenfold, “Please go. I have to go to sleep-” “Y/nie, please…” “I have to sleep. Please don’t tell him. Goodnight.” Not letting him continue to plead, you stepped back and closed the door in front of the male, staring at the darkness of your living room in shock for a few minutes, before falling to your knees against the door, and it was only then that you began to sob loudly, hiding your face in your arms. 

The only thought flooding your mind was the pitiful question, repeated over and over again, until you grew tired from crying and eventually fell asleep in the uncomfortable position. Why did it take him this long to understand how much you loved him? You would’ve trusted him… 

a/n: haechan's part lowkey reminded me of my ex so i spiraled into our old messages and cried to sienna gosh its so hard being a lover girl in this world </3 (don't take me seriously this was months ago and i've moved on... mostly...)

this isn't as long as i thought itd be please forgive me guys... i'll be posting the next chapter soon :3 and it will be so ANSGTY! possible jisung y/n reunion (not dating lol i hope no one's hopes are high cause i'm dragging this outttt) but at what cost?

i'm working on a taglist bc one of you beautiful readers helped me tysm!!! so that will be done soon >.< let me know if you want to be on it in the notes or in my inbox <3 i'll add everyone who's asked so far

[ttjisung]

back 2 u 𝜗𝜚

p. jisung x fem!reader smau - exes to lovers

in which jisung does his best to avoid you, his ex, until he realizes his mistake far too late cw: suggestive themes, bad angst, cheating, swearing

i'm not going back, back, back, back, back

masterlist

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chapter x.

a/n: DOUBLE POST! i love jungwoo sm you guys don't understand. he is my king.

i always feel so sad after posting and not getting any notes until i realize i post so late and you guys are probably asleep...

but anywayyy we're getting to the good part omg ^_^ next chapter will prob be both online AND written and it's going to be so long (i think. don't hold me to this pls cause i change my mind so easily.) but most of the chapters after this are gonna be so messy and omg dramaaa :3 and then it's redemption arc which will not be easy cause jisung was so mean and y/n is sensitive she got bullied so bad... he better buy her a car or a cat or something.