Signs your romance subplot has absolutely no tension (sry)
♡ they meet and immediately like each other (goodbye conflict, we barely knew you)
♡ the only thing keeping them apart is a misunderstanding that one conversation would fix
♡ both characters describe the other as "beautiful" within three pages of meeting
♡ their chemistry is told not shown (the narrator insists they have spark. they don't.)
♡ the love interest has no personality outside of loving the protagonist
♡ they argue once, make up immediately, never argue again
♡ obstacles are external. they always agree with each other about everything.
♡ the rival love interest exists for two chapters then vanishes without explanation
♡ they almost kiss. something interrupts. this happens four times. on the fifth time they kiss. the end.
♡ the love interest is described as funny, clever, and kind. we see none of this.
♡ their big emotional moment is in the rain. it is always in the rain.
♡ the breakup lasts exactly one chapter before they reconcile
♡ "i've never felt this way before" said by someone with no prior emotional history
♡ both confess feelings at the same time. no awkwardness. no stakes. just synchronized emotion.
♡ their first kiss is perfect. no bumped noses. no wrong angle. cinematic and frictionless.
♡ jealousy subplot introduced and dropped without consequence
♡ they have one shared interest and it is the plot
♡ trauma bonding mistaken for romantic chemistry (these are different things)
♡ the side characters ship them loudly. this is not a substitute for actual tension.
♡ one of them dies temporarily. other is devastated. they come back. no lasting emotional damage.
♡ they end up together because the plot ends, not because they chose each other
♡ epilogue: married with children. every loose end tied. nothing left to feel.
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