Tumbles of life

Poems and Prose of my love life. Little somethings on my love.

[bmmsmg]

you don’t know how to say that he doesn’t have to worry if his words are true because he’ll never be hurt in the way that you do and he can tell you “it’s a joke, not a dick, don’t take it so hard, sweetie” but that just means he’s in a place where he can take things lightly and dear god but that’s a trait that you envy

inkskinned (via inkskinned)

[tumblesofmylife]

Our first night.

All the way from home stranded in a hotel with strangers ..wondering whether i shall leave the country or not , tired, exhausted from all the carrying of bags and luggage,, my only hope . Him.

He, 3 and a half hours away.. rushed to see me, sped on a bike with a friend, lights blaring, on the lonely dark roads, with the moon light, wind gushing at their ears , sweeping past his face. He reached my hotel half past 12 , straight from bed with a grey sweat shirt and floral blue shorts, the most cutest sight a girl could see in the middle of the night, He was shivering after he drenched his face with water.He wanted something to eat and asked me to get on the bike for a ride. I hopped onto his mounted bike seat, on which i kept slipping off,on to him,cause there was a slant. And on those lonely street light lit roads we rode,my mind gushing with happiness and satisfaction of having him around my arms , my chest pressing onto his back , his stomach on my palms, so soft and fluffy. We reached a hotel , with a few people, bustling around, and ordered a black tea for him. i still couldn't actually believe the fact that he came all the way from home in the middle of the night, so very unexpectedly, just to see me. My mind was in complete chaos. And then he smiled at me , and i was lost .He couldn't believe himself for what he had done,and laughed that tingly laugh of his. All i could do after that was hug him , and couldn't leave him for the life of me. Back at the hotel gates he spoke to me, slowly grabbing the small of my back , and putting my arms around his neck. i was so painfully aware of him next to me.Damn ! his luscious smooth neck. As we were speaking, the hotel authorities asked us to go inside the hotel gates , lest there be any other problem.They were friendly enough, to ask how he came all the from home for me, that was a huge relief. His friend went away for a few minutes and we spoke for sometime, his eyes drooping from the lack of sleep , and were red from the dust that flew into his eyes on the bike ride. My heart clenched as i saw the love of my life struggling to stay out of the layer of tire and sleep for me. As his friend returned we sat in a lonely corner , heads touching, arms intertwined, almost hugging, every five seconds, talking about everything else when his friend is awake and about us when he goes to sleep, . After his friend completely fell asleep , he slightly turned towards me, lips pouting, so close, i felt his breath on my skin, i touched my lips to his, so soft that i could die, his beard brushing my skin, Damn. When he told he loved me, i felt so light i thought i would float in the air. I sucked on his soft tongue so moist, and he on mine, hugged so much my arms hurt.he flung his arm over my shoulder,grabbing me onto him, i felt so safe, so secure ,As he tightened his grip on me , i felt myself melting, at his touch,. He put his palm on my head and stroked my hair, and i felt invincible, He saw me close my eyes in pleasure, and he smiled back at me, and kissed me on my nose. I don't think i left any room on his face for me to kiss,- his cheeks his forehead, his neck, eyes,everywhere. We stared at the stars for some time, bodies so close and warm, him poking jokes about the entire situation , i couldn't help but laugh. His love for me was unbearable at that moment. He told he would miss me, and would never leave me , ever,. Promised he would be there for me , all the time, forever, and I swear, i could have died then, for there was nothing left for me to feel. I felt a growing discomfort in my chest as our time together began to come closer to the end, so i begged him to stay,and i couldn't for the life of me, bear to let go of his hand. He promised to come with me wherever i go , asked me to not worry, That's when i knew that i had fallen in love with him all over again. Three years and 8 months into our relationship, i was falling in love with him all over again. I knew in my heart that i was screwed. At 3 in the morning, when they called to ask us to pack our things and leave, i didn't have the heart to let him out of my sight, .But there he was smiling at me, asking me to go freshen up , Promising me he will wait there, not going anywhere. And finally i went upstairs, packed and came down , but by then it was time to leave. As i got into the car i saw him staring back at me, picking his phone to call me, telling me that he too had to leave, and as the car inched forward,i waved at him , and he told me he saw me, calming me down with his soothing words, I then let go of him, without any sadness, knowing , fully and completely that he is always with me , irrespective of the miles between us, Always. Forever, Our first night together

-may 15th 2015 my scheduled flight to Abu Dhabi got cancelled and was postponed to 16th may 2015, and were made to stay in a hotel that night.That night on which he so suddenly decided to come see me.

[tumblesofmylife]

My Vows.

I promise to cuddle you before sleeping every night with you.

I promise to never go to bed angry with each other,ever.

I promise I would never touch a puppy except Coochipoo ever.

I promise to soothe you when you are in pain or sickness.

To never let you feel alone , ever.

I promise to be honest with you at all times, except to those white lies that makes you happy.

To take all efforts into bringing out the best in you , to make you a better man.

I promise to try my best to care of you and always keep that flame alive.

To try to understand you better each day , and  to make your life happier every single day.

And i promise to cherish you and love you forever.

To you my love, i want to keep all these promises, for as long as we shall be together.

[tumblesofmylife]

In case life is not kind, In case life is not fair, In case love does not conquer all, In case what is meant to be does not find a way, In case I never get an opportunity to make reparations, In case I do not get another chance to tell you… I love you. You hold a permanent piece of my heart that time, space and circumstance can not touch.”

[followcb]

"While You Sleep"

Let me be your pillow Let me cradle and rest your weary head Call me your blanket And I’ll cocoon you in my nest My warm, loving arms Will surround your beautiful form To you…I will always conform Let me bed the perfect bed For you to lay down and close your eyes Rest your body and your head I long to be your recurring dream The one who fills your imagination While you sleep

Copyright 2015 Chris Bartlett/FollowCB

[lotsofpinkplaid]

I’ve been trying to describe how I feel for you in one simple sentence.

I am having an encounter with sunlight. I am learning how to breathe again, when there’s been smog in my lungs for so long. I am creeping up on the unknown, and it looks so good from here. I am racing to the mountains hoping to dance, and I love dancing. I am finding out what it means to contribute, to matter. I am becoming part of a pair. I am growing warmer, and I have been cold for so very long. I am stepping so far into love with your hand in mine, and there is no looking back.

‘I am falling in love with you’ just doesn’t make the cut anymore.

Amanda Helm

[anjanaraveendran]

"Do you need love?"they asked."its the only thing that makes living life worthwhile"

Anonymous (via anjanaraveendran)

[floatinginthethoughtstreams]

I find myself growing impatient with others, When I am without you. I held off for a time But now I am missing you far too much. No one knows you as I do And no one can challenge me to be better As you do. In my heart, I’ve been In love with you for years and years.

"Years and Years" by Radha Kistler  (via floatinginthethoughtstreams)

[tumblesofmylife]

Love bubble

That Feeling of love wrapped around your heart, constricting, suffocating, wont let you breath in peace,

Heat thrumming, excitement building, to the next moment of pure exhilaration, the mind almost need a leash.

Constantly reminding you , every minute of the , every single  second, that you are in love , and so is he,

And that unspeakable feeling of pure, unadulterated joy coursing through your veins, everything is crystal clear as you see,

In the morning ,rays of sunshine, glistening through your window, letting the dust particles sparkle, when all you can do is think of him,

The smell of the damp cool ,air of the room , the sight of your wooden desk in front of you ,you feel the heat of the sun on your arms, quiet dim,

Every passing moment, every feel, every sound you hear ,every sight, becomes so magical,filled with his face,

his smile, his sound, his eyes, so intoxicating,you wish you had more of it,You walk around , the entire day , with his thoughts, in a daze,

As the nights closes in , you go to bed wondering , How he spent the day, wishing for a moment, you would get a little peace of mind,

Just enough to sleep , or even live your life ,without him in your head, all that wondering, fantasizing, doing nothing else, you will then find,

That even in your dreams he shall be ever present , as he has done with your heart , 

And slowly , ever so slowly , you shall let him inside your walls, and will start  to  pray ,You both shall not fall apart.

- first love's dizzying spell on me

[tumblesofmylife]

Little Love 3

A whale inside my stomach was letting itself known, by letting its rumblings out, embarrassingly enough, for him to hear it. Comparing the food shelves stacked with Indian sandwiches,and other snacks, hovered by a swarm of flies, occasionally swatted off by our canteen head ,to my empty purse in hand, i pleadingly looked at him , hoping he had enough money to buy me at least a tiny bar of chocolate, which barely costed around rupees 5. But when we reached the chocolate shelves, all the tiny bars were sold out , and only the ones that costed rupees 20 or more were available for sale.

And since I didn't want him to spend all the cash he had on just chocolates for me , i told him , i shall just have the tea  with him , which we earlier decided to have ,and only that .He  then sat me down on a free table at the corner of the canteen and went to get  our. He got us our tea, and while i slowly sipped on mine due to the its extreme heat , which almost burned my tongue in the process, he gulped it down  in three mouthfuls. After finishing his last drop , he asked me to stay seated ,till he came back , and i agreed. I thought he might head towards the washroom, and i continued sipping on my tea. 

But in the corner of my eye, i saw him emerge from the canteen crowd, and disappearing again into it , talking to a bunch of guys .As i finished my tea, and started waiting for him ,He suddenly appeared from the crowd with something in his hand. I din't notice that ,and  as i collected my purse,and prepared to get up , he slammed a 20 rupee Diary milk  chocolate bar on the table much to my surprise. I was wonder struck  and looked at him .He gave this smile , that literally strummed on my heart strings.Literally.And then when i later asked him Why go through all that trouble of borrowing cash from others and getting me a chocolate bar, he said , nothing that i asked him would go in vain.

At times i really do wonder, do i really deserve a man, whose Most prized priority is my happiness. I stay up at night , wondering ,what on arth have i done to deserve him, such happiness.

[anjanaraveendran]

Provocations and Reactions.

- You receive in all forms, from every where,  from all angles.

- Its horrible to hear them , infuriates you ,and  the most tempting way to react is a lash back

- i know its difficult to control , i know its easier said than done trust me i know. but for the sake my sanity and your health please just please don’t.

-Promise me next time it happens, for me just for me, stop that instant, count to ten, think of me , only me„ how much it would hurt if you lash out.

-Think of God Almighty, and be the greater man., forgive the third person for his misdoings.

-Be happy that you were able to perform this  and let go , and know that in your heart that i will always love you for this, the most ,

And i very well know you have self control and is very much in check with your feelings, way better than me in emotional strength, i know , i do , but you see, as you say, we all are, but very human.

-the things i really want him to listen to. Promises i want him to keep

Other than telling me everything, and going to bed happy and problem free.

[tashtoo]

He loved her so much He struggled to give her the world Never understanding She only desired his heart

But he was strong Like all good men should be Had locked it away Long before their paths crossed

Still, a balance was struck She would never see him cry He would never write her poems Still her heart made room

She often thinks of running But knows how passions fade In this world of flattered insincerity Good & honest has to stand for something.

Natasha Head #Tashtoo #poemaday #nationalpoetrymonth #poetry

[tumblesofmylife]

Flashes of his eyes.

As i watch the stars rushing past me,out through my rolled up windows ,in the beautiful dark, dense sky, flashes of memory,illuminates my frontal lobe.

There i was , three years into the past, sitting on a cold metallic bench with almost over fifty other twenty year olds,

Completely immersed in the tale which our teacher spun from the pages she held, stringing words into broken sentences,

Trying to explain the context , while walking around , ensuring everyone has their attention attuned to her, i looked on through my lenses,

And as she passed by me, i turned around, for clarity ,to her speech,but as she walked out of my visionary focus,

I came heads on , with a pair of the sharpest, most piercing black eyes iv'e ever encountered, a wisp of a wind,a hush.

My heart stuttered for a microsecond, and then began pumping wildly, out of control, blood rushing into my veins,scarlet,

Sweat dripping from my brow,confused whether or not to respond to the staring pair of eyes, with  electric currents flowing as my eyes to his, met?

The influence of those blackish brown vortexes, was far too great, that i had to break that contact, to regain control over myself,

Even though that encounter lasted barely seconds, i could see right into his soul, searching into mine, for answers that wouldn't present itself.

I could still feel his eyes burning holes on my back, tapping, asking me to regain that eye contact,commanding my heart, not to stop pulsating.

And as i close my eyes , i come back to the present, relaxing into my seat, that flash of memory still deeply etched into my brain, i wonder what vibe, was i then ,emanating,

For consequences and coincidences, led to one thing another,  to finally surrendering to those eyes ,letting them take control over me,

To let me see his soul, and through his , mine, to lead him to engrave a deep , permanent mark into my life, and coin the word  and meaning  for "we".

[larmoyante]

Real love is always chaotic. You lose control; you lose perspective. You lose the ability to protect yourself. The greater the love, the greater the chaos. It’s a given and that’s the secret.

Jonathan Carroll, White Apples   (via masakiton)

[tumblesofmylife]

True love's first kiss.

An atheist of love , much less of true love, received my first true kiss, out of the blue.

He was walking away  from me, out of the classroom, and so was i , when suddenly, he turned around , his eyes blazing, so fierce, my heart skipped a beat,

He rushed over to me, cupped my face with both his hands, and then , placed his heavenly delicious ,warm lips over mine. 

And instantly, i was ablaze, my heart pumping blood to my ears, cheeks flushing, red, hot, passion engulfing me.

All my nerve endings ,were fired with electricity , so sensitive, i was consumed by a strange carnal rage for that moment.

It all lasted a split second.I have never been so aware of every fiber of my body , ever in my life.

I was left hungry for more, and as he took those exquisite lips away from mine, an took steps away from me, it was physically painful , to think of letting go.

And like a fool, in my daze, i begged him, pleaded ,for one more ,just one more second of all that ethereal magnificence bound in that magical contact of those lips.

He came back over, and let me relive that sensation,to let my blood burn with lust, my heart beat in passion, to let go of the world, to want to be in his arms forever,

From that moment on , i knew i was trapped, i knew it in my heart that i would never be able to let go, that  i truly have opened up to loving him.And that there is no turning back.

I have never been able to see things so clearly ever before in my life.It was like he was my first puff of heroin and your brain tells you that you shall never have anything better,and your blood pushes you to have one more puff.

You know your are addicted from that first puff,And unlike most  level headed people at 19 , i let go of all the worldly pains,and willingly surrendered to my heart.

And yet after it was over, its memories came back to me, like a never ending epidemic, and at the slightest thought , i would always feel a shiver down my spine, my tongue in a knot, and blood furiously pumped by my heart .

It took me almost over a week to completely recover from the daze i was in , by that kiss. And a few months after that i really found that the love he had for me was completely unadulterated and pure.

That is what it felt like, for me, to have my true love's first kiss.

[thatbrowneyedirishgirl]

[tumblesofmylife]

Mon Raison d'etre.

He looks at me , like the stars look down upon us every night, lighting up the deep, vast of black sky, me,glowing under his shine

Taking my breath away, his coy smile ,soft ,juicy, pink rosy lips curve upwards resembling a fold of a rose petal,a thin line,

,lusciously darker rouge on the insides,fading into a lighter blush , open,to reveal a dazzling set of white pearls,with a prominent canine.

 Pale cheeks, rise against his face, adding to the miniscule lines, at the edge of his eyes, round pools of liquid mood, with a drop of liquid copper,blazing.

Soft locks of black, more than a few waves  ,flitted across his fore head, framing his crown beautifully with that chiseled jaw, with my heart pacing.

The curve of his nose,the feel of his temple,his tiny stubble on his chin,all those features, amazingly sharp,come hitting me,like a wrecking ball.

Each elevation, ridge and crevice of his divine face, exploded in front of my eyes,crystal clear, my chest,on a heave and fall.

His scent , reminiscent,lavender mixed with the scent of the first rain on the dry scorched land,was dug up from my olfactory memory.

The sound of his voice,resonating ,in my ear, so magnificent, and when he laughs, the vibrations,match the frequency of my heart in a hurry.

And at that moment of  pure clarity,

I understood that he was my raison d'etre,my reason to be.