Tumblhur

I'm 23yo male w/ Addisons Disease and Bipolar. I'm sad a lot and this is where I come to write about shit and get stuff off my chest.

[tumblhur]

Aaaaaand I’m cutting again.

[dead-finks-deactivated20190116]

what adulthood did to my friends

what adulthood did to me

[tumblhur]

Like lots of fucking therapy and then some electroshock treatments for good measure.

[tumblhur]

I am so fucking alone. All these cunts out there posting about how it’s okay to talk and all that shit but do you know how many of those pricks want to listen? Fucking less than a handful. I’ve been called a psycho, told to go back to the ward, to go see someone, and even cut off completely. I’m fucking over feeling like this and I’m going to become a statistic. And like I get where it's coming from and that it's meant to spread acceptance and break the stigma, but fucking hell. Seeing people who told you to get fucked when you were in a bad place are all now ranting and raving about how important suicide is to them. Makes my blood boil.

[tumblhur]

Cutting again and I don't know why. I'm just so sad and so lonely. Nothing is helping.

[tumblhur]

Eh

[tumblhur]

I'm going to end up in inpatient again. Fuckity fuck.

[tumblhur]

I'm feeling suicidal again. I fucking hate this. I thought that I was over this shit. Maybe I never will be. Maybe I should do it.

[tumblhur]

what do u mean?

I don't really want to talk about it because last time it caused me a lot of grief. I'm just very emotionally unstable right now and I'm avoiding reality with whatever means necessary.

[tumblhur]

I'm falling into baaaaad habits

[tumblhur]

I know that mobody is going to read this but I just need to vent (like always) So. I want to have kids one day. I think it would be great to be a father. My concern is that I don't actually think that I could be there for a child both mentally or physically. No matter how much care and love that I have for them, I'm always going to be off the rails and I'm always going to be sick. How could I do that to a child? It's just not responsible. Am I never going to be able to experience these things? Or am I being ridiculous. Fuck.

[tumblhur]

Why must I dream about you? We don't talk anymore but I still miss you.

[tumblhur]

Fuck. I'm losing it.

[tumblhur]

Eh fuck me. I'm useless.

[tumblhur]

I really wish that I had some friends.

[tumblhur]

I don't have passion for anything anymore. I feel so lost. Like, I just want to have enthusiam about something and to share an interest with someone. I just have nothing. I'm empty. A shell.

[tumblhur]

I am a deeply depressed young man who struggles with stress and inadequacy.

[tumblhur]

I love dinosaurs. They're like my potential. Neither of them exist anymore.