TunaMayo

Idk she/her

[tunamayo0]

Weight on my shoulders

Pushing me on the ground

Invisible hands

Covering my mouth

Holding the screams that I want to throw out

[tunamayo0]

Closing up the bridges

Reinforcing the walls

Isolating form who could throw me a rope

Mind is sedated, hidden in heavy fog

So much to say but my mouth is closed

Can’t move a finger

Trapped in a corner of silence and storm

[phrases]

I’m like 105% tired.

[fuckingwhateverdude]

oxymoron

[tunamayo0]

my parents yell at me cause i don’t take care of myself like i could care about myself

first they traumatise you then they blame you

[clavri]

dreams.

oh, how i wish it would start and end.

[coffee-n-chaos]

What good is my happiness, if it does not come with yours

Whats the worth of my laughter, if it feels the rings of silences your tears bring

Mere apologies are not enough, once these discrepancies creep in

If it helps, give me all the darkness that is yours

And yours, and yours, and yours

Until I'm full, and you can see sadness seeping out

Then bury me, six feets deep in the ground

If not much, i would have taken some of your pain away

And when we meet again, maybe we can laugh together as the winds make the leaves sway.

[c-isnenegro]

[tunamayo0]

who should i blame now that I am the toxic one?

[tunamayo0]

mother,

should i be quieter for you to love me?

would you tolerate me if i were more transparent?

cause i feel like i’ll never be good enough to deserve your approval

so maybe if i disappear

if i reduce myself to nothing

i’ll finally be worthy of your affection

[tunamayo0]

“i’m so happy it’ll last forever,

can’t even remember what sadness is,

why i was angry once? i’m so euphoric…”

but then a tiny event happens and all i know is anger, screams, loneliness, depression.

“have i ever been happy? i don’t think so.”

it’s an exhausting circle.

[tunamayo0]

but i like her so much i want her to go away.

away from my dirty soul, from my anger.

she’s so perfect i can’t ruin her, i don’t want to.

[tunamayo0]

tw: depression, su!c!d3

it’s been four month since i last was suicidal

and now at this point when i’m the happiest i’ve ever been in my life, i just can’t understand how could i think that what i was going through was normal

how could i convince myself that i wasn’t THAT ill even when i was literally about to end it all

how could i believe that i didn’t need help because maybe there was someone out there more ill than me.

you are valid, don’t let nobody or yourself make you believe otherwise.

please reach out for help, there is no “no ill enough”, and if you feel like you don’t have someone to tell it to, message me instead of bottling up everything, doesn’t matter if we know each other or are complete strangers

you are loved <3

[devils-lover-always]

When you can physically feel your heart breaking dropping into a bottomless hole that's what true heartbreak is and it fucking hurts so much

[recaption]

[weltenwellen]

Alejandra Pizarnik, tr. by Yvette Siegert, from “[...] of The Silence”, Extracting the Stone of Madness: Poems 1962 - 1972

[iamnotatherapist]

You were the best fucking summer I ever had. Only regret is we burned too bright a flame that could never last. Your the best damn feeling that I’ve ever known. That’s why it’s so hard for me to let you go.