they call me dr slime

20 he/it … im evil….

[thecryptkeeper]

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

always some new bullshit in the ocean

[local-demon-in-your-area]

Why is it always orcas or dolphins

Why can't a salmon do some bullshit for once

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

worry not ☝️ they're doing coke

[turretfish]

i miss my wife. the sun is trying to kill me

[turretfish]

ORA white spotted pygmy filefish save me…. save me ORA white spotted pygmy filefish

[turretfish]

crack crack crack the egg into the OUH

[turretfish]

should i just swim into a hydrothermal vent at this point

[turretfish]

first .,, had a shitty day at my chud job. then fumbled first convo with my fiancée on the way home over the phone. then call my parents ..,,..and end up fighting with them for Several Hours on and off. wow…….what a day ❤️

[sabertoothwalrus]

I love when someone is explaining instructions to a group I’m in and they look at me and it reminds them to say something about using preferred names/pronouns or that there’s vegan food options available. I go by my given name/pronouns and I’m not vegan but I’m proud that I can provide this service

[batbetbitbotbut]

[fagstaynight]

Mr talking head: I'm tense and nervous and I can't relax

Me (Radio Ear): Fuckkkk man tnat shit so true as fuck

Mr talking head: I can't sleep 'cause my bed's on fire

Me (shock): Ok……. Well……..That a little much….. (thinking) This guyfucking crazy man…. Turn off this song….

[botanyshitposts]

it has reached the stage in summer in iowa where the heat is unbearable (97 degrees F, 100 degrees with humidity where i am right now) but let me tell you the plants living along sidewalks and ditches, in undeveloped lots and comparatively wimpy gardens in the shade of hotels and houses, making up grass breaking through cracks in the concrete and neat landscaping around small man-made ponds, and growing pretty much indiscriminately wherever they physically can in the ground itself? full on thriving and also having sex

[botanyshitposts]

[turretfish]

just ate a little paper with my quesadilla

[theehorsepusssy]

[dogpuppy]

[sunsp4wn]

My roommate keeps making weird sour smelling foods

[turretfish]

i keep running into some kind of force field

[gh0stienj0yer]

i need to get off tumblr i’m at the aquarium admiring the fish and my brain goes “posts that make you want to get in the water” what are you talking about. these are live fish in the room with you. what post.

[gh0stienj0yer]

posts that make you want to get in the water

[turretfish]

emperor angelfish. sohal tang. standard naso tang, blond naso tang. mimic tang. vlamingi unicornfish. powder blue tang. twolined monocole bream. stripy fucker behind it looks like some kind of wrasse but i dunno. fat yellow guy looks like herald’s angelfish. skinny yellow guy is a yellow tang. lyretail anthias. striped cleaner wrasse. i think i see a magnificent foxface in the back. some kind of chromis/damselfish thats too far away me to clearly say. blue hippo tang.

[letterful]