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i miss the old u

[aridhills-deactivated20190817]

[showerthoughtsofficial]

when there’s an earthquake coffins become maracas.

[okbutwhyamisotired]

?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

No???????

[retiredmahoushoujo]

new meta for gamers: taking a shower

[kiyokospeaks]

This is the face of someone performing a public service by tricking guys into actually having good hygiene

[deficiencyincourtship-deactivat]

[yeehawlw]

[flyingpurplepizzaeater]

ask your doctor what the fuck

[retiredtothesaltonsea]

mitski miyawaki invented justice

[afacelesschampion]

[miamaroo]

Going into therapy like

[funtoban-blog]

[cheaphalloweencostume]

i’ve started using the word “sexy” a lot more just because it’s like… an inflammatory word… describing something weird as “hot” is like ok gross whatever but “sexy” just makes people go crazy like either they agree wholeheartedy or they want you dead

[talixagain]

me: *venting about my job*

someone: why don’t you just quit then

me: 

[funereal-disease]

this is a strong contender for the funniest fucking thing I’ve ever seen

[virgoboy]

i am so sick of us politics no offence but i hope your country collapses before 2020 begins because i can’t stand to hear about it anymore

[anais-nyx]

[ahcalamity]

my dad is a cop and i just called him and he was like “hey i have a 17 year old boy in the back of my cop car right now that i’m running him to the station” and i asked if he was cute and my dad said “Hey, my daughter wants to know if you’re cute” and the guy said “i want to say yes, sir” and my dad started laughing so hard

[knifeofvenus]

My pussy is fat my heart is fatter got a tiny brain made of snickerdoodle batter

[toesucker]

[under-the-arch]

[eldritchgarfield]