Good Morning.
I want to put so many things on blast and can't because the guidelines to Facebook state: 1.Post only comments about things that are trending so you can retain the appearance of "being hella cool". 2.Even if you were in bed sick all day and left your house for one hour to get food, post a selfie of yourself with said food because people are more interested in what you ate than your well being. 3.Always be positive. People don't like negative. In other words, lie. 4.Someone died, relationship broke off, anxious or needing help? Facebook doesn't care. We want to hear about how amazing you felt after your delicious Starbucks this morning. 5.Tag yourself with lots of "hella cool" people and don't forget to take pictures of you and the crew protesting or holding some sort of sign (we don't care the cause, it just makes you look like you care about things) 6.Females; break out the make up and take a take a picture sitting on the bathroom sink, Men; take whatever picture you want but make sure to show off some ink to relay how "Edgy" you are. 7.Always make yourself look busy. Too busy for people is just sexy and who doesn't want to be sexy? 8.We know you hate your job but please tell us more about how amazing your career is! 9.Post a status about deleting Facebook friends. We only got room for 3k real friends. Anything above that number obviously means you're "not being real" and they aren't your true friends. 10. Don't forget smile. Smiling portrays that you're truly happy. Normal people have great lives! You want to be normal, don't you? :) P.S Don't forget to set up alerts so we can remind you of your loved one's birthdays! We wouldn't want them to know you don't know the real date. Thank you for choosing Facebook!