something's gotta give; right?

why don't you tell us if your luck has changed. alex | writer (?) | sideblog

[j-reau-deactivated20251005]

gdi @futuressaved got me in my feelings about the conversion camp episode again i hate it here

[j-reau-deactivated20251005]

HERE’S THE THING. Like I know I added a conversion therapy headcanon into JJ’s backstory that is by NO MEANS canon. But it’s not just like something I pulled out of my left shoe. It’s because I watched this episode live when it aired 109382129 years ago as I watched most of CM when it aired, and at that point like we’d all been hoping and praying and speculating for jemily stuff and then there was the rumor that emily truly WAS meant to be queer and then there was …. this episode. 

And it’s an episode that the show CHOSE to land emotionally on JJ in such a big way. Which I found so weird. The thing they’re clearly trying to do is make it about kids. But me, being a baby gay watching that episode, seeing JJ slowly become more and more bothered by this conversion camp, I was genuinely waiting for them to reveal she’d gone to one. Like i TRULY thought that’s what they were setting up. It was framed EXACTLY like when they’d have episode with morgan dealing with child predators and you’d see him act a certain way. JJ got more hostile than usual. JJ who is always diplomatic and a smooth talker was overly aggressive to the guy running the camp. She quickly snaps and points out all the things they’re doing that are bad. She’s not kind or cooperative with him at all in trying to get the information they need. It’s SUPER out of character for her. Not that we don’t see JJ get mad about stuff, but in a professioanl situation in the field she’s usually the one who plays the game and somehow, for some reason, in this situation she doesn’t and it literally hurts their cause. She hangs back, away from the camp leader letting Blake talk to him, all the way she’s like dirty looking him behind her being pissed off. She’s the one who points out that they all wear muted colors to strip them of their individuality. Something that I find wild given that the colors are all the ones that make up JJ’s wardrobe. 

THEN they go back to the BAU and both Blake and JJ are clearly affected by what they saw at the camp. Blake asks what they think might have been behind the padlocked doors and jj just immediately goes off with “well we’ve all heard the stories ….” and starts hashing through it. Then she DEMANDS to hotch that they go back with a warrant – that they do’t need for the case. She just wants to go back because she thinks the camp is shady. And she says “because there is more going on at that camp than they let on.“ Which like anyone can infer but she is just CERTAIN of it, with no evidence and no reason. She just demands they go back. This is her face in that moment talking to hotch:

When they deliver the profile, JJ is the one who explains the emotions and feelings of the unsub, she’s the one that explains that he’s probably trying to repress his homosexual desires. 

THEN when the episode is all over, JJ and Blake DO get to go back and raid the conversion camp with CPS. And the VERY FIRST SHOT of the montage when the doors to the padlocked room open, is this shot of JJ. Not Blake. Not anyone else. JJ. 

Then they cut straight away to this shot which is even more wild ,beucase it’s just JJ’s little blonde silhouette back lit by the het p*rn that they’re making the kids watch and the shadows of all the horrible shit they’re using to drug them. And IDK like I just feel liek that’s a WILD DIRECTORAL CHOICE. 

And then the entire rest of the montage is like JJ helping get these boys out of these chairs and she just looks absolutely freaked the fuck out. JJ who at this point, eight seasons in, has seen PLENTY of shit and who never reacts. JJ who is the one who is always mothering even to murders, and she can barely even look at this boy. She keeps looking away and not making eye contact and like being entirely unable to stomach everything. Which again is not shcoking except that it’s a really big reaction from JJ as a character. Subtle in theory but not subtle if you consider JJ’s usual behavior and how AJ usually does stuff with her. 

ANYWAY there’s no point to this post i’m just really in my feelings and i felt like explaining the full purpose behind this headcanon. It’s not something I throw in just because it’s traumatic. We all know JJ has enough trauma going on and all of her character choices are things I justify anyway. In my mind really, and in my portrayal, her time at conversion camp was brief and didn’t really traumatize her. It was more that she actively made the choice even before then to bury her feelings and walk the line becuase she didn’t want to make waves for her parents after roslyn’s death and that’s still basically what happened canonically with or without the conversion therapy. So it’s something I can easily take OUT of her background if I need to. But for me like, having seen that episode so many years ago and watching it and truly thinking that’s where it was going, I got really attached to that headcanon and it sort of become my own personal fanon and not something I wanted to take away when I started finally writing her. 

[hotchedyke]

emily prentiss and will lamontagne are good pals and have regular wine nights where they gossip about work and gush about their wives send tweet

[ghostlypawn]

CRIMINAL MINDS + GOD’S EYE VIEW NELSON’S SPARROW | 10x13 LAUREN | 6x18 ZUGZWANG | 8x12 DEREK | 11x16 PAY IT FORWARD | 8x19 PENELOPE | 4x9 THE JOB | 11x1 SPENCER | 12x13

[whump-town]

(this might seem way off but trust me it gets somewhere) okay idk if you’ve watched only murders in the building but the way the show is set up is each episode is told from the pov of a different person and last week’s was told from the pov of a deaf man and there was no talking the entire episode until the very end (it was beautifully done lots of asl and just incredible acting from the whole cast)

so i’m just thinking about that but imagining a cm episode told from deaf!hotch’s pov. the entire time there’s no actual clear sounds, it’s just muffled and subtitled, we never actually hear anyone speak

i feel like it would be so interesting to see something like that and i wonder what your thoughts are on it?

oh my god that would be so fucking cool, even writing his day as a fic. Having to rely on all his other senses to get him through the day.

He won't hear his alarm clock -- the noise is abruptly too loud so it's disorienting but he turns over and he can see the light. It's muffled noise he can't use his hearing to figure out where it's located (over to his left or his right). However he can feel it on the bed vibrating or see it emitting a bright light.

Jack gets up on his own but Hotch won't know that until he's out of the shower and he can look down the hall and see Jack's bedroom light is on.

The coffee makers gurgling is drowned out by the intense ringing in his ears but he can smell the coffee brewing and that's as much of a greeting as he's getting from Jessica. When he walks into the kitchen he can hear them talking, bits and pieces of the argument Jessica and Jack are having but unless he's looking at them the sound is just as meaningless as the ringing. He can't make sense of it.

At the office Reid gets in the office with him and Hotch has to actually look at him to watch his lips to understand. Reid's voice going from nonsensical mumbling to bits and pieces coming through.

The team don't knock on his door when they step in, they hover at the door and wave their hand in a large sweeping motion to attract his attention.

so all the audio is muffled with moments of clarity -- Morgan saying something loudly, clearly enough that he can make out "I'm not stingy baby girl" -- but also some conversation too soft so that there isn't even muffling where words should be

such an interesting thing

[shmaptainwrote]

then finally after what seems like a long day that’ll never end and he’s so tired from trying to pick up bits and pieces from reading lips, penelope comes into his office and places a hand on his desk where he can see it and he looks up

she signs him something

are you alright? can i get you anything?

and he can’t help when his lips twitch upward into a smile and simply signs back

it’s just been a long day

penelope understands, but still pulls up a seat next to his and asks to take his hand, and curiously he lets her

he can feel the smooth pad of her finger trace along his calloused palm

w-e

then she pauses and traces a swirly heart before continuing on with her letters

y-o-u

hotch chews on the inside of his cheek and nods before saying a quiet thank you. he can feel his own voice rumble in his chest, it’s a feeling he senses less and less these days, but to him it was important that he said that out loud for her

[fightingdragonswithwho]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EMILY PRENTISS

↳ EMILY PRENTISS + ICONIC LINES

[criminalmindsgonewrong]

The Five Stages of Grief are a Myth.

What if JJ didn’t know Emily’s death was faked?

my first attempt at jemily, be kind to me. emily is gone, jj is angry and very, very sad.

Keep reading

[whump-town]

Deaf Hotch could have had so much potential. Walking around all day with his hearing aids turned off so he doesn't have to stop and talk because he's an antisocial king. What a total dad thing to have someone sitting nearby having a conversation with you only to have them realize that you haven't heard a thing they just said

Angry sign language

Paper balls thrown at his back when he's across the jet and Emily/Derek/Dave doesn't want to get up to get his attention

Stealthy sign language

I love deaf Hotch because it would have been so interesting to see that play out

[siyvaruli]

This idea is so absolutely lovely that my tag ideas got too long and are now here.

Everyone learns ASL. Reid decides to learn as many other sign languages as he can, but since he gets a lot of it from books the gestures are unclear and no one understands him. (No one would anyway, it's a completely different language, but Prentiss gets into it and they start communicating in signed French.)

Garcia picks it up the quickest, because she can practice while they're on cases, finds a DVD set at the library and starts signing to everyone else.

Sometimes she learns it faster than Hotch, and is frustrated when the team (and Jack) develop signs as needed that bear no relation to any language under finger or tongue.

Morgan's the last to learn it, and the team assumes it's because he's always claimed to spend very little time with Hotch. It's actually the opposite problem. Hotch glances over at Morgan and he nods and that's it, that's the plan. Morgan arches his eyebrows and Hotch rolls his eyes and Morgan takes over arguing with the chief of police. Morgan purses his lips and Hotch doesn't need a signed confirmation to know the crime scene was a bust.

(Reid figures it out, eventually, because Morgan is the only one who can reach out and rest a hand on Hotch's back or shoulder on bad days and catch Hotch's attention without a flinch. Morgan stands too close to Hotch when they enter the house, somehow right where he needs to be so that he turns and Hotch knows to duck without a sound. Hotch hates having the others touch him to draw his attention when he can't hear them coming, but he's always pressed closer to Morgan, doesn't seem to mind the trade.

Rossi and Prentiss start throwing paper balls. Supposedly it's to get Hotch's attention, but that doesn't explain why they're throwing paper balls at Morgan and Reid.)

Eventually, Morgan gets fairly fluent. Unfortunately, he learns from Jack, who has an odd, only child idiosyncratic version of ASL, and so no one on the team understands Morgan except for Hotch and occasionally JJ, because Jack taught Henry a few signs.

Garcia makes Morgan watch the DVDs. Somehow, instead, he picks up curse words in French. Prentiss claims to have no idea how that could have occurred.

[whump-town]

This has only made me think about angry sign language again.

Hotch glaring Morgan down as he signs a little too fast, clearly worked up. And when he’s going that fast Emily’s the only person that can really keep pace with him – her skills with language have translated here too. Morgan can tell enough, he’s pissed about something the Sheriff said because he assumed (wrongly, and it’s pretty common) that their use of sign language just meant Hotch couldn’t hear at all not just that his ability is shakily limited depending. Until Morgan finally raises his hands in defeat and just says “hey, man, don’t yell me!”

And neither of them think anything of it.

But they are being watched and one of the LEOs is so confused about how Hotch is communicating only with ASL and Morgan responds audibly. The two of them understanding each other completely and that is kind of humorous to hear Morgan say “don’t yell at me” when Hotch hasn’t actually said anything.

But Hotch is yelling. His face says it all, hands signing quickly and harshly.

[shmaptainwrote]

criminal minds where everything is the same except we hear hotch say bitch please at least once per episode

[criminalmindsgonewrong]

Jennifer Jareau and Emily Prentiss aesthetic

All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arrive

[okayprentiss]

are you emily prentiss af ?

[getintherobot]

this fic will never be done

[meganskane]

AJ COOK IN BACK FORK (2019)

[spencer-reids-adventures]

(Prompt) Luke and roxy helping JJ get over her fear of dogs 

The first time Luke invited everyone over to his place for dinner, he mentioned in the text that his dog, Roxy, would be there. When JJ texted back that unfortunately she couldn't make it, he figured she just had other plans, and didn't think much of it.

After the fourth time, though, he finally confronts her about it at work.

"Is it something I did?" he asks, cornering her in her office at the end of the day.

"Is what... What?" JJ asks, confused.

"You never come to team dinners at my place," he says. "At first I thought you were just really busy, but now it seems like you're deliberately avoiding me and I was just wondering if I did something wrong, or..."

"No!" JJ exclaims. "No, Luke, that's not it at all. I'm so sorry. It's-- it's a little embarrassing."

"You know I won't judge you, JJ."

"It's just... I'm afraid of dogs?" she says sheepishly. "I haven't always been, but there was this case several years ago, and I ended up in this barn with these dogs, and they were... I had to shoot them to keep them from... There was this woman, and they had..."

Luke quickly walks up to her and puts his arms around her, squeezing her tight as her eyes glaze over, remembering, reliving.

"You're safe," he says. "You're in your office. I'm right here with you. Everything's okay. You're safe. I promise."

She comes out of it quickly, blushing and apologizing.

"Hey, hey, it's okay," Luke says. "There's nothing to be ashamed of."

"I hate it, though," JJ says angrily. "I hate that I'm scared of dogs. I used to love dogs. I want my kids to be able to have a dog..."

"Do you think you'd like to meet Roxy sometime?" Luke asks. "Just you and me and her, on your terms. She's very kind and gentle. She's trained as an emotional support animal, and she knows how to handle trauma. She won't bark or jump or anything. And you'd be free to leave at any time."

"You'd do that for me?"

"Of course I would. I'd do that for anyone. What do you say?"

"I'll try," she says, and smiles.

The next afternoon, she rings Luke's doorbell nervously. He answers the door alone and invites her inside.

"Roxy's outside," he says. "We can let her in when you're ready. Do you want to stand by the window and watch her for a little while first maybe?"

"Okay," JJ says, and she watches Roxy laze in the sun, then get up and run around for a few minutes before investigating a patch of flowers.

"She's a sweetie," Luke says. "And she loves everyone. Are you ready for me to let her in?"

JJ nods, and Luke slips outside with a leash. He hooks it to Roxy's collar and pulls her very close, then walks inside with her as JJ backs away slightly. Roxy doesn't pull, she just sits calmly at Luke's feet.

"Roxy, this is our friend JJ. JJ, this is Roxy."

Nobody moves as they examine one another, but Luke notices as JJ starts to relax at Roxy's calm presence.

"Would you like to pet her?" he asks. "I'll be holding her the whole time."

JJ reaches forward hesitantly, and when Roxy doesn't lunge at her or bark or open her mouth, JJ pats her on the head. After a moment, she pets her for real, and Roxy sits calmly the whole time.

"Do you feel comfortable with me taking her off the leash?" Luke asks. "It's okay if you don't."

"No, I... Yeah. It's okay. Go for it," JJ says.

He removes the leash slowly, instructing Roxy to stay, and she does. JJ reaches forward unprompted to pet her again, first with one hand, then two.

"She's a good girl, isn't she?" she says to Luke, then turns back to Roxy. "You're such a good girl. Such a good, beautiful girl."

She looks back up at Luke. "This is the first time I've touched a dog in almost 10 years," she says, tears in her eyes. "It feels good. Thank you."

"I'm proud of you," Luke says. "Roxy, too. So, you're coming to the next team dinner I host, right?"

JJ grins. "Wouldn't miss it."

[whump-town]

I wish we could have seen something else out of Emily after her return, you know? I get Reid has all these big emotions about her death and that it has affected the entire team's dynamic but it's about Emily. I want to know how she felt.

How it affected her relationship with JJ. The distance she purposely puts between them. The white lies she tells because she's too afraid to confide in her anymore. Caught in them, stammering until she finally throws up the wall and gets defensive. Admits she doesn't think JJ should be partial to her every thought. She can handle her life on her own.

How it affected her trust in Hotch. She sees him and hears him whispering by her bedside, can feel his rough hands on her arm telling her what he did. Telling her that she's dead. How she knows he ran off to Pakistan, called in every favor he had to protect her, and yet... she can't look at him the same. Not now, not after she knows just how willing he is to destroy himself for everyone else. Because she saw what he did with Foyett but to be on the receiving end of his willing destruction... So she shuts him out too.

How many girl's nights did she skip out on? Got halfway there before realizing they don't need her there. That it's just likely they're inviting her out of pity.

How she knows Derek will never actually forgive her. He'll move on, he'll stop bringing it up, but from now on he'll never trust her. No matter how well things get he'll still second-guess the things that she tells him. And that there is nothing she can do to ever fix that.

She's just a dead girl walking.

The cadets whisper about her.

Other agents avoid her.

She killed herself to protect her family and now she knows it would have been better if Doyle had won. At least then she'd be an inflated story to tell in whispers. To think about when they've had too many drinks or late at night on the jet ride back.

[idmakeitbehave]

Criminal Minds as AO3 tags 5/?  [another CM-specific edition] (insp.)

[ropoto]

Some of my favorite quotes of Hotch.

Keep reading

[hqtchner]

Aaron Hotchner + Casual Clothing

WE NEED MORE!!! The audience demands it!!! I love dad! look hotch so much…

My gifs! Please give me credit if you use it.