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Oct 24, 2022

Redamancy

Redamancy (n); the act of loving one who loves you, a love returned in full

Summary: the co-op librarian at the FBI Academy has been secretly crushing on the smartest agent in the Bureau, TA, Doctor Spencer Reid, and he's been crushing on her too.

warnings: fluff, strangers to lovers, getting to know each other, dates, food mentions, making out, hand jobs, cuddling

word count: 5.4K

It was a day unlike any other.

Doctor Spencer Reid normally sat in the same little red chair in the back corner of the library, coffee on the table beside him and satchel sprawled out on the floor so he could easily find what he needed. He would sit criss-cross, glasses perched on his nose as he read books or classwork, occasionally chewing on his red marking pen, always handsome as ever.

And she would watch him, in the least creepy way humanly possible; she’d save up all the books for that section of the library when she did the daily re-shelving, and only travelled with the small cart when she knew he was in, giving her an excuse to be in that area with him for a little while as she tried to gain the courage to talk to him.

No one normally went over there, it was beside the VHS section of the library, there were old tapes, transcripts and records as well that the FBI thought would be interesting to put into circulation, only absolutely no one cared about them since they went digital. Spencer knew that, and so that’s where he sat every single day, from 1 to 4 pm.

It never occurred to her why there were so many books and tapes from over there always being returned every night after her shift, there were at least 10 of them in the return box every morning. Someone was blessing her with an excuse to keep returning to him, and she was incredibly thankful.

But today, he wasn’t over there, all his stuff was but he was nowhere to be seen. He wasn’t at a desk with a student, he wasn’t on the phone quietly among the shelves, he must have stepped out quickly and left all his things.

She felt the need to watch over it for him, knowing how important he was to professor Gideon and how much work he put into making sure Gideon had the least amount of work during his time off. He cared for him like a father, it was really obvious to everyone who’s seen him follow Gideon around like a lost dog, searching for the praise of a job well done and a pat on the head.

Maybe today would be the day she finally talked to him, or maybe he’d talk to her first when he noticed her watching over his things. Even his cellphone was pressed between the arm and the cushion of the chair, but there was no coffee to be seen anywhere. That’s why he was gone.

Over the last month, she’s seen him drink probably a year's supply of coffee. They had a coffee maker in the library office, it wouldn’t be that hard to let him know and offer to make him a cup whenever he wanted more, he was always working so hard and he never left a mess and she just wanted to see him smile. She wondered what his voice was like, she wondered how his eyes lit up when he heard his favourite song, she wondered what he watched on his nights off and what his favourite colour was.

She was head over heels for the quiet boy in the back of the library.

She was busy straightening out his papers and thinking about him when he returned, he just stood beside the bookshelf that once hid him in that corner, and he watched her silently, for the first time ever. She picked up a pen, writing a small note before she slid it into his book.

Hi!!!

I don’t think we’ve met, but based on your choice of literature I think we would make great friends!

- Y/N, the librarian who promises she’s not staring at you every day ♥︎

She closed the book and stepped away just in time for Spencer to pretend to come back around the corner, “oh good, my stuff is still here.”

“Hi,” she stared at him with wide eyes and an open mouth, words trying to come out as she just shook her head lightly, “hi.”

He smiled, big and wide and just as beautiful as she expected it to be, “hello, times two.”

“Sorry,” she felt herself get more and more flustered as she heard his voice, he was so quiet she would have never known he sounded like an angel.

“I saw you weren’t here and I didn’t want anything to get taken from you,” she rushes out the sentence before she can get caught up on any of the words and fall over them as she fell for him as well.

His smile changed as she got more flustered as well, small and pressed-lipped, cheeky if she had to put a word on it, “so what did you leave instead?”

“You saw that?” She panics, eyes wide and blood rushing to her face she can feel her ears change temperature.

He nods, smile widening at the fact she likes him. He was a profiler after all, and the smartest man in the whole building at the ripe old age of 22. He was cute and shy and kind and handsome and beautiful and she just wanted to stare at him at that moment, if she wasn’t able to breathe anymore she might as well see his perfect face one last time before she died right then and there.

He moves past her then, reaching for the book and opening up to the page with her note, he keeps smiling. His beautiful, perfect teeth glistening in the light, his cute glasses slipping down his nose as he scrunches, trying to push them up without taking his attention off the note.

“I’m sure we would make great friends, but,” he stops his sentence there, she’s on the edge of her seat only she’s not sitting, she’d impulsively turning to him with fear and doubt that makes him feel like his joke isn’t going to land this time. “I think asking you to go on a date with me might jeopardize the whole friendship thing.”

“A-a date?” She stares at him like she’s never spoken nor heard a single English word before.

“I’m free Saturday night, are you in the dorms or off-campus?” He wasn’t kidding and it made her heartbeat settle a little.

“Off-campus, I’m not a student here, just doing a placement for my final semester,” like a normal person, she’s finally able to respond to him without the words just tumbling out. “I can put my address on that piece of paper too? Maybe even my number?”

He looks like he’s proud of her, “I’d really like that,” he says as he hands her the piece of paper again, watching her scribble something down and pass it back to him.

“I also thought I’d let you know I have a coffee maker in the back if you’d rather something that didn’t come from a vending machine?” Not sure where the confidence is coming from, she shoots a soft smile at him before heading back towards the front.

He waves softly, “I’ll see you later?”

“Text me,” she adds with her own small wave.

She can’t help the smile that erupts on her face as she darts down an aisle, away from Spencer so he won't hear her heels dancing on the floor as she jumps around a little, screeching inside her mind as she thinks about the idea of a date with him. She presses her back against the shelf, hand over her beating heart as she tries to calm down, overjoyed by merely talking to him.

The rest of her shift goes by fairly quickly, normally she leaves before Spencer, never able to see his cute butt walk out the front door. Today, however, he comes walking towards the front, the way he always does when she’s not around, dropping 10 books in the return bin, shooting a wink her way as he does so.

“It’s been you this whole time?” She whispers across the counter, just loud enough fr him to know she’s truly shocked.

He nods, “nothing else would bring you over there, I needed a reason to not stare at you every day either.”

Her heart feels like it’s going to explode, she never expected him to be this confident and charming. She expected awkwardness and bumping hands and stuttered sentences, but for some strange reason, he felt comfortable with her. Like he didn’t have to prove anything, and thus he was a different version of himself. Confident, proud, charming… but also like a lovesick puppy.

He knew she was going to like him regardless, and now she knew he liked her just as much.

—

Being the co-op student at the FBI academy’s library did have its perks, for one she was allowed to look into anything the library stored, even the stuff that wasn’t available to the public, and her most favourite part; getting to decorate for all the seasons.

For the last 2 years, she has worked the fall semesters in the library, keeping a small bin in the back full of all her hand-crafted and partly store bot decorations. Halloween, Thanksgiving, the winter holidays, and even Valentine's day. She loved decorating the shelves and the front display to show off the seasons. It’s not like the 3 male librarians she worked with cared enough to do it. It was the FBI after all, at a basic level they were all cops and not the most fun to be around.

She was only working there because her dad had connections and she lived close anyway, any library would have been perfect to work at. The book smell, the quiet, the air conditioning all year long, it was her own personal heaven.

The most amazing part of working in this specific library, however, he would be arriving in 10 minutes.

So she checked the clock every 2 minutes, watching it get closer and closer to 1 pm as she was sticking cobwebs to a black table cloth by the front doors. She was in the middle of sewing little spiders onto the fabric when she felt someone standing over her shoulder.

“Jesus,” she almost jumped out of her skin, “don’t do that!” She whisper-yelled at him, pushing his arm softly as he laughed.

“I take it you love Halloween?” He whispered again, looking right into her eyes like she was the only person in the world.

She could see her own reflection in his glasses, seeing the fact she was smiling like an idiot and not responding, she nodded, “Halloween is the best time for stories.”

“It really is,” he smiles. “What’s your favourite?”

“I’m really into Tim Burton movies, his art style and his storytelling is so wonderful around Halloween. Him, Neil Gaiman and Danny Elfman are the golden Halloween trio of my dreams.”

He wants to talk to her more, looking behind her and around the room to see where the other librarians were, “do you ever get any breaks in here?”

“Hold on, I’ll meet you in the corner in a few minutes,” she smiles again as he nods and heads to the back.

She skips over to the main counter to grab the return cart, full of books for Spencer’s little corner, remembering he didn’t have a coffee in his hands and so she made 2 cups and carefully sets them on top of the cart with a handful of sugar packets. Pushing it ever so gently to him.

She rolls them around the corner to see him waiting by the red chair again, “I always save all the books up so that technically I’m working when I’m over here.”

“Is that for me?” He smiles at the coffee, stepping closer to her and laying his hand on her arm gently. “Thank you.”

“Any time,” she can feel the blood rushing to her face as her cheeks and ears heat up. “So, I take it you like Halloween then, too?”

“I do,” he says before he starts shaking a sugar packet, tearing it open, he pours it into his coffee, and then another and another, he puts 5 baggies in and she can’t help but laugh.

“I think I found out why you’re so sweet,” the words are barely there but she said them out loud, making him smile as he keeps stirring the sugar in.

“I love Halloween,” he quickly changes the subject before he can get too embarrassed at her compliments. “I think the most creative stories are the ones that take the most horrific things that could happen to someone and still find a way to make it beautiful.”

“You see a lot of bad stuff, don’t you?”

He bites his lip and furrows his brow like he’s deciding whether or not to be honest with her. “Not a lot, yet. I mostly look at old case files and handle consults that have been waiting around for a while. It’s a lot different looking at events after they’ve happened when they’re on paper versus being in front of it. I haven’t been to a fresh crime scene yet, I’m not sure how I’ll be when that happens.”

“Being around dead people isn’t that scary,” she says it so matter-of-factly it makes him laugh awkwardly through his nose as his eyes go wide. “My parents own a pretty big morgue and cemetery here in Virginia, most of the fallen agents get buried there.”

“Was worried there, almost called Gideon for backup,” he is playful and charming and oh so handsome she can’t help but feel butterflies all throughout her body.

“What? Scared I could kick your ass alone?” She finally teased him back. Finding her footing and feeling comfortable out on this limb with him.

“Why did it take you so long to talk to me?” He cuts into the moment harsher than he realizes, desperately wondering where she had been all his life.

She shrugs with pressed lips as she chews the inside of her lip, “you always looked so peaceful over here and I never had the right way to say hello. I’ve been wanting to hand you a note and I’ve waited for you to come to check out a book so I could maybe slip one in the old return date flap, I have like 3 notes up there behind the desk, prepped and ready, I’ve just never done this before… I didn’t know what you’d think, I’m not a profiler you know.”

No, she was an anxious rambler and it just made him like her more, “you are so cute, you know that, right?” He tells her exactly what he would have wanted to hear if it was him rambling to a pretty girl.

She was so flustered then her breathing changed and she couldn’t stop pushing her glasses up and pushing her hair behind her ear, “thank you.”

“So, what do you like to do on the weekends? Is there a place you’d prefer to go on Saturday?” He changed the subject, thankfully giving her a chance to find the courage to speak again.

“I like to go to different art exhibits, I’ve gone all the way to New York to see different showings,” Y/N loves the way his face lights up, “I also like to see whatever movie is being reshown at the old theatre in my parent's town.”

“I really like old movies too,” his enthusiasm is palpable, “what time does it start tomorrow?”

“7:30, I can meet you somewhere for dinner around 5 and we can take my car to the theatre?” She offers without a single shred of doubt that he’d say no.

It felt incredible to know that he liked her too, that this was a mutual thing and they were seemingly each other’s first real love interest.

—

She thinks she’s early, what she doesn’t know is that Spencer was already there. The nice hostess walked her to the booth, finding Spencer with a glass of water and a beautiful red flush across his face.

He was never dressed down, no matter where he was. He always wore dress pants and a nice shirt, and he always matched it with a cardigan or sweater vest, but not today.

Today he was in a white button-up and a nice tie, he looked dashing. Sure, it was too big for him and he looked a bit uncomfortable waiting for her in silence, but he was so, so cute.

She just wore a regular dress, one she would have worn to work, and her regular leggings. An outfit he’s probably seen her in before, but she knew he liked her too, so she wasn’t overly concerned with impressing him anymore.

One thing she was learning about him was that he didn’t really make any physical contact. Unlike some men she knows, he’s never reached for her hand upon an introduction, he’s never ‘slipped’ past her with a hand on her lower back, he barely even stood that close to her. It was oddly nice, she liked not having someone just want her because she had a body that happened to be female.

Spencer treated her like a person, a smart person who he always wanted to listen to, as well. He was so unbelievably interested in her, she could have explained the dewy decimal system to him and he would have reacted like it was the first time he’s heard of it.

“So, did you ever find out what movie it is this weekend, or are we going in blind?” Spencer asks, watching her shovel a few tortellini into her mouth with a smile building on his own face.

She covers her mouth with one hand as she chews with a small laugh, “unfortunately we have the choice between Tim Burton’s Sleepy Hallow and Scooby-Doo 2; Monsters Unleashed.”

Spencer nods along like he has any idea what they are, “have you seen them?”

She nods with a soft smile, “I think you’d find Scooby-doo to be funny, but Sleepy Hollow is amazing. Johnny Depp and Christina Ricci are fantastic together, and for the year it was made, the gore and stuff actually look semi-real and not just like red corn syrup on a person.”

“I trust your review, Sleepy Hallow it is,” he smiles back, they just smile at each other for a little too long.

“I’m really glad you caught me putting that note in your book,” her voice is barely there, she stares at the table as she says it and misses the best smile Spencer’s ever displayed.

“You’re the only person I can talk to without being terrified,” Spencer admitted. “I’ve seen you looking at me for weeks, and I’ve been talking to my co-worker about you. He said I should go for it, because if you’re looking at me that often it’s not a coincidence and it’s not out of disgust. It means you really like me, and no one’s really liked me before.”

“You should have told me sooner,” she teases him, feeling the exact same as he does. “I’ve had a lot of crushes but no one’s ever reciprocated it before.”

“Me either,” he shakes his head lightly with a frown.

She reaches her hand out across the table, waiting for him to decide if he wants to hold it. He does, interlocking their fingers as their elbows resting on the table and they stare at each other's hand. Her thumb and his fighting for the outside, an involuntary thumb war unfolding as she eventually wins with a smile.

—

When they finish their meal, Y/N takes his hand once more and leads him to her car. It’s a short trip to the movie theatre, it’s old and run down but it smells like butter and it’s dark and cold and perfect for a Halloween movie.

Spencer cuddles in close to her, they share a bucket of popcorn and when it’s gone they interlock their fingers again. She wraps her arm under his and leans on his shoulder and it all feels so right. She never thought she’d get this with him, but it was surprisingly easy.

The movie ends and her heart drops a little at the realization she has to let go of him and part soon. Forgetting the fact that she is indeed an adult who can invite someone over if she pleased.

He turns to her with a smile and she says it before she can stop herself. “Do you want to come to my place for a bit?”

He’s a little surprised but he nods, “if you’re okay with that.”

“I am,” she smiles and stands with her hand still in his.

They keep their hands to themselves during the ride to her apartment, to which Spencer notices is only 3 buildings down from his own, laughing before turning to her; “that’s mighty convenient.”

“Now I don’t feel bad about how late we might be up,” she means it innocently and yet her eyes widen in horror at the other meaning, “I mean cause we’ll be talking a lot because we’re both talkers. Y’know, we can start talking about Antarctica and suddenly be on the topic of Pluto… it’s really not that hard for me to talk to you, I find you really nice and interesting and you’re really cute—“

Spencer takes her face in his hands and looks at her, effectively shutting her up with a smile. “You don’t need to justify why you want to stay up all night talking with me.”

“I don’t?” She whispers, “why are you so understanding?”

“You’re the first person to ever call me cute and mean it,” he admits with a cautious smile, his lips press together quickly before his face rests again and he looks a little sad.

“Would you like to be my first kiss?”

“Would you like to be mine?” He counters.

Her face lights up at the realization, “can we do it inside?”

He nods and lets go of her face, fingers lingering on her cheeks for just a second before he’s pulling away and getting out of the car. She follows and waits for him to rejoin her, taking her hand as she leads him up the staircase towards her apartment.

The porch light is on the outside, she stops to unlock the door but he pulls her into his space instead. She instinctively rests her hands on his shoulders as he wrapped around her waist and now she’s pressed against his chest and looking up at him with both excitement and wonder.

He was close enough that she was afraid he could read her thoughts and knew just how desperate she was to have him, while simultaneously being terrified of messing things up with him.

“I’ve had a lovely night so far,” he whispers and she can’t help but kiss him.

She leans in and presses their lips together and it’s like nothing she’s experienced before. The world slows, her mind shuts off and all she can think is; “this is it, this is where I’m supposed to be.” In his arms, pressed close with her lips on his, her hands travel to the nape of his neck as she takes a handful of his hair and he breathes her in deep into his lungs.

He’s breathing her in, captivated by how it feels, letting the moment go where it’s supposed to. She follows his lead, doing what she imagined to be right as her mouth opened and they started to make out. It was interesting, he was handsy and they were both making the most desperate little pleas for more.

“We should go inside,” she whispers against his lips, not pulling back, just flicking her eyes up to look at him.

“Okay,” he responds, losing his air of confidence and showing just how desperate he was for her.

She unlocks the door and drags him inside, they kick off their shoes and coats and she’s leading him into her living room and sitting him on the couch. She doesn’t miss a beat attaching her lips back to his as she basically sits in his lap.

His lips are so soft and his tongue is really nice to feel against her own, and his little moans and groans at how nice it was really made her stomach drop. She’s had butterflies before, she’s been horny, she knew all those feelings and yet this was something completely different. She needed him desperately and he wanted her just as bad.

She lays back against the couch and pulls him down on top of her, he rests against her side with a hand on her hip as the other steadies him over her. He’s making it very clear he doesn’t want to press his groin to her, he’s hiding what’s going on in his pants and it lights a fire in her.

“Spencer,” she whispers against his lips again, getting him to stop kissing her lips, but he just moves to kiss her cheek and down her neck. “Can we go a little further?”

“How far?” His words are barely there against her skin but she hears them.

She swallows sharply and trails her hand along his bulge, “can I touch you?”

He sputters against her with a shaky breath, “y-yeah, sure.”

She rolls onto her side so that they can still kiss while she reaches loosens his belt slowly, his hand is still on her hip as it slowly starts to trail up her waist. She unbuttons his pants and pushes the zipper open, reaching into his underwear and exposing his cock.

“Wow,” she whispers as she looks between them, she glides her hand along the shaft and his eyes squeeze shut, “you can touch me too?”

“W-h, where?”

She pulls back ever so slightly and makes sure he’s almost flat against the couch. Then she does the unthinkable and pulls her dress up and over her head, not caring about the fact she’s now just in tights and a bra, she wants him to touch her boobs.

She takes his hand and she guides him to cup her bra before taking a hold of him once more. He lunges for her throat, kissing and sucking at her skin as he palms her chest and she jerks him off faster. He’s not going to last long and she’s okay with that. This was the most exciting thing she’s ever done.

“Y/N,” he whines against her skin and it sends shivers through her bones. “I’m close.”

“Okay,” she responds just as gently.

“It’s, sweet Jesus on a bike,” he takes another sharp breath as his head falls back against the couch cushion, “it’s going to be messy.”

He starts to unbutton his shirt and push it out of the way, making room for what’s about to happen and it makes her stroke him faster, gathering the pre-cum at his lip and gliding over him just right, he’s shaking under her grasp.

He’s chanting a shortened version of her name, not able to get the whole thing out as his vision blacks and his face scrunches up. He cums with a gasp and she is so caught up with watching his face that she misses just how much of a mess he was talking about.

He’s breathing like he ran a marathon, “thank you, so much.”

She smiles, “anytime.”

He sits up just a little bit, looking at the mess on his chest and smiling back up at her, “do you want me to please you?”

The way he says it makes her legs clench with excitement, “I don’t even know how?”

“What?” He looks genuinely puzzled by her words, “have you never?”

She shakes her head lightly, embarrassed.

His hand comes up to cup her cheek again, “can I show you?”

“Do you know how?” She asks, worried he has more experience, but knowing she was her first kiss, it was confusing.

“I’ve read about it,” he blushes. “Do you want to go to your room for it?”

“We need to clean you up first,” she laughs, getting up off the couch and staring at her messy hand, “don’t move.”

She grabs a tissue from the bathroom and quickly cleans herself, grabbing some more and bringing them back to him. He carefully cleans off his chest as she stands and watches, he’s so cute and he’s with her right now.

“Can I ask you something first?” She hurries the words out, waiting for the slightest nod before continuing. “Do you want to be my boyfriend? I don’t want this to just be a one-time thing, if we’re going to do this I’d really like to be dating you.”

“I do want to be your boyfriend,” he smiles, sitting up and pulling her back into his lap.

She straddles his hips and presses their shirtless chests together, her hands cup his face before she leans in to press a quick kiss to his lips, “boyfriend.”

He kisses her next, pulling back with a smile, “girlfriend.”

Her face drops a little and he catches it, “what?”

“Is it okay if we cuddle instead? I don’t think I can yet,” she’s shy and afraid of letting him down.

“Oh, no, I mean yes. Yes, we can cuddle, no we don’t have to do anything. else I don’t want you to feel like you have to or that you had to do what you did, it was nice and I liked it but if you want me to go—“

There he is; the nervous, rambling fool that she was desperate to get to know. She cuts him off with a quick kiss, shutting him up even after she pulls back.

“I want to cuddle with my boyfriend,” she whispers. “I’ve never had a boyfriend to cuddle with before.”

He follows her into her room and she gives him a shirt that should fit and a pair of her track pants, she was a bit bigger than him but that meant he looked extra cozy. She changed into her favourite PJ’s; a star trek shirt and plaid bottoms, she takes her glasses off and sets them on the table and then she crawls into bed beside him.

He pulls her in closer, the both of them finding a spot that worked just right for them. She rested on his chest as his hands ran over her back, and she just held him. He was really comfortable and warm, he smelled nice and he kissed her forehead occasionally, “this is really nice.”

She smiles, “you don’t have to go if you don’t want to. You can stay here all night.”

“Okay,” he whispers into her hair before pressing another kiss to her head. “You’re the best girlfriend in the world.”

“We’ve been dating for 20 minutes,” she replies with a smirk.

“Best girlfriend in the world,” he repeats with another kiss and she snuggles in more.

—

Sunday mornings are her sleep-in days, she normally doesn’t get out of bed until her body is screaming for food or the bathroom. This Sunday, the Sunday after her date with Spencer: she wakes up to the smell of French toast as he tiptoes back into her room with two brown paper bags.

“What are you doing?” She questions, sitting up and reaching for her glasses, she slides them on to see him in HD again.

“I bought us breakfast,” he smiles, placing the bags on her bed and then handing her her own keys. “I locked up when I left and let myself back in, I hope that’s not weird?”

“Not weird,” she smiled, “let’s go to the kitchen, I don’t want syrup in my bed.”

“Okay,” he agrees with a smile, he’s rather cute in the morning with bed hair and a well-rested expression.

She follows him to the kitchen where he sets out an assortment of foods and drinks, she gets plates and utensils and finally sit together. She is overwhelmed with choice, there are eggs and bacon, French toast, fresh fruit, sausages, hash-browns, it’s everything.

“You’re the best boyfriend in the world.”

He looks at her with the softest expression, his jaw drops and he looks at her like she’s the only woman in the whole world, “really?”

“Best boyfriend in the world.”

taglist: @g0lden-cth @doctorspenceryeet @samuel-de-champagne-problems @reiding-recs @shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria@reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @jswessie187 @k-k0129 @calm-and-doctor @blanchardsbk @thatsonezesty13

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