i could be: hurtful/purple/everything you like

i'd like to have money, and i'd like to be a good writer. these two can come together- and i hope they will, but if that's too adorable i'd rather have money. ( knowlesian. i tried to be like grace kelly. rn i'm all about teenage cannibals/the killer milfs they grow up to be but i'm categorically multifandom as a mf'er. )

[knowlesian]

writing something longer that gets at this theme rn but sometimes i want to shake people and say “you cannot start to be better until you start to let go of the need to be blameless”

[hanavesinauttija]

I went to the forest that makes you have multiple pronouns and accidentally touched some poison ivy there

[hanavesinauttija]

now I'm it/she

[bisexual-engineer-girl]

OH COME THE FUCK ON

[farmgf]

what the FUCK is going on right now. what is going on

[farmgf]

this post is so funny because it has over 10k notes and no context but all you have to do is look at the time stamp to know exactly what the context is

[thekidsfromyestergay]

I am this posts target demographic

[hollowboobtheory]

a single mom feeding her kids is scamming the government but the outlet of a megacorporation posting fake job listings with no intention of hiring for tax rewards or whatever is fine

[ladyshinga]

[godisafujoshi]

Ive been so back from overs that were so that you couldnt fathom

[selenaigomez]

LEIGHTON MEESTER and BLAKE LIVELY Gossip Girl (2007—2012)

[unichrome]

I’m slowly beginning to accept the reality that 2007 was not last year but in fact almost four years ago

[skygenders]

College should be free and you should be able to study “useless” degrees just for the love of learning

[notfinancialadvice]

This is so fucking embarrassing. This is one of the most embarrassing business quips I have ever seen in my entire vile career.

[birdsareblooming]

coat bath

[onion-souls]

Laughing hysterically about the concept of a two-bath mudroom and laundry with an under-floor coat closet

[tpwrtrmnky]

the real answer to almost every "does [identity A] belong in [identity B] spaces" question is actually just "these spaces are informal social groups and if you're cool you can hang, don't worry about it"

[tpwrtrmnky]

You can be Homer Simpson at the lesbian bar. It's fine. Don't worry about it.

[whitebisexual]

Ringo fumbled Shelley Duvall ??????

[whitebisexual]

It's breaking news TO ME.

[hayaomiyazaki]

Meeting the Man: James Baldwin in Paris 1970 – directed by Terence Dixon

[jay-auris]

The problem: you are Michael Bublé, it is 2011 and you would like to make a Christmas album. Your producers want you to sing the classic Christmas song "Santa, Baby," but if you sing it as intended, it's gonna come off as, like, super gay

The proposed solution: you will rewrite the lyrics to the song to imply a platonic friendship between yourself and the man in red, making Santa a real bro who's gonna help you get laid by some hunnies, with cool, masculine gifts like a steel blue convertible, a yacht and tickets to a Canadian hockey game

The reality: the combination of the eroticism of your voice and the inherently sexual vibes of the song means you create a story about a closeted gay guy desperately repressing his desire to - as the kids say - fuck that old man, no homo'ing your way through asking him to trim your tree, promising you'll be such a good boy if he treats you well, and begging him to slide down your chimney

[questionableyeball]

arguably the funniest genius annotation ever

[mikkeneko]

[bitethebullets]

the loss of the audio jack is due to puritan culture hating on penetration

[carolxdanvers]

[inthefallofasparrow]

[red-mercer]

This really deserves to be one of those million note posts