Dylan was literally hanging onto Tyler for dear life. His was grip was strong, afraid of being pulled away from him. Afraid of him pulling away. This wasn’t how things were supposed to be. He felt like he should be at the other end of the room, unwilling to get close to the boyfriend who betrayed him. But here he was, because he honestly NEEDED him. It was pathetic; he knew it was. He was weak and had too big of a heart to ever be purposefully cruel to Tyler. Even if he deserved it–which god, did he deserve it right now. His sobs grew louder when he felt Tyler kiss the back of his head, fingertips practically clawing into his back, completely overwhelmed. Hearing Tyler say that he loved him, that he wanted him made Dylan’s heart throb with a waterfall of emotions. Joy. Love. Anger. Devastation. And most importantly, distrust. It was so bizarre, Tyler was the one person he had trusted most in this entire world. Now he was questioning everything he was saying–though, like a puppy, desperately hoping that it was all true.
He didn’t say a world the entire time Tyler spoke. All he did was sob into his boyfriend’s lap, clutching onto his body. Dylan didn’t think that it was possible to feel anymore heart break until he heard those words–I don’t deserve you. Whilst the part of him that wanted nothing more than to walk out of this room right now, the larger part felt utter misery at the sound of Tyler sobbing. “Fuck!” He growled, pulling away, falling back to a seat position on the floor, cupping his head as shut his eyes tightly, “Don’t say that, d-don’t say that.” Pulling at his hair, he went silent, breathing slowing. “I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what to fucking do,” he rambled more to himself than to Tyler. His heart was racing really fast and he felt like he was going to explode. “Tyler.” He spoke his boyfriend’s name, voice heavy. Dylan stood then, hovering in front of the other before he leaned down, hands resting on Tyler’s thighs, staring at him with hard, tear-soaked eyes. “This can never happen again. You can’t lie to me again. I swear to god, if you claim to love me, this can’t happen again.”
Keeping his arms light around Dylan, Tyler began soothingly rubbing his back. He still felt nervous touching him, even with the boy’s death grip on him. Any moment he could decide to push him away, remind him how much he fucked up. Tyler deserved as much. He knew that, expected it even. And part of him felt like he needed it. Because he knew with that, Dylan may start to feel some sort of relief. If given the chance to purge the resentment he felt towards Tyler, he may find some semblance of peace. Not that complete peace would be attainable in the situation as is, but anything that could lessen it seemed worth it to Tyler. All he wanted was for Dylan to be happy again, to see him smile, hear his laugh. Tyler sucked in his breath as Dylan dug his nails into his back, hesitantly giving him a squeeze as if to reassure him. This whole situation was wrong. Before the incident, if you’d have told Tyler that he’d hurt Dylan like this, he would have swore on his life that you were wrong, that he’d rather die than see Dylan in pain because of him. Yet, here they were.
Tyler stared down at him with wide, teary eyes as he fell back, furrowing his brows in confusion at his reaction. “W-Why? It’s true. Look at what I did to you, Dylan. Look at how miserable you are with me,” he spoke, letting out a short, incredulous laugh. “...Why do you still even want to be with me?” He pushed himself up with his fists, making himself sit up straight. “Honestly, Dyl. You could do so much better than me... and I’m saying that as your best friend.” Tyler stared back at him with a blank expression, breaths becoming more shallow as he fought hopelessly to stay composed. His face crumbled and he slammed his head in his hands, letting out a loud groan. “Fuck. Why did I do this to you?” he practically yelled, voice cracking. “Why would I do that?” Tyler forced himself to make eye contact with Dylan as he spoke his name, red eyed and sniffling as he stared intently into his eyes. “I can’t do this to you again,” he confirmed, absentmindedly resting his hands on top of Dylan’s. “Never again,” he promised with a shaky voice. “Never again, baby,” he repeated, more urgency in his tone this time.
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