I'm just here because I need somewhere to vent my feelings. Okay people who keep showing up, here are the tags you should block for spoilers:
reading sctir [x]
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reading sctir mtl i don't know what's happening [x]
love that stw's biggest fans who love him sooooo much are also his biggest headaches. there's a 1:1 mapping there. past a certain amount of affection for this guy you become his problem
really funny that shj and hyj sit around commiserating about how difficult stw is to care for. especially because shj then has to attempt to communicate to hyj that he's the exact same without letting hyj shut him down or change the subject. how did shj end up in a position where he can have anything he wants in the world at all except seeing his favorite people safe and happy because they'll personally fight him over it and demand he allow them their god given right to hurl themselves into oncoming traffic
editing the scene that prompted this post and im infuriated again. "oh stw has to work so hard the very thought of it makes me want to cry" and why does he have to work so hard hmm? answer in 5 words or less. quickly
and another rant i have built up over jinjae is their everything around food. the first instance i can remember is the courtesy chocolates SHJ brings HYJ after the Babar dungeon, when he's in the hospital (chapters 80/81), which he says is for HYJ due to the stress he must be feeling over HYH. and then immediately kills any goodwill in the very next sentence by going Wowww you're so useful and i'd love to acquire you etc etc. HYJ's not even the one who accepts them from SHJ, that's BYR, and later HYJ says he only eats them because he has nothing better to do (no other option than SHJ, huh...) and even then the Dokkaebi ends up eating half the box. gift that's barely accepted.
the next instance i can think of is post-human trafficking auction in chapter 127 where SHJ makes him eggs, but. well. literally as he's cooking they have this exchange:
(this got so fucking long i had to put it under a cut. takes your hand come with me on this journey)
[SHJ] “I’d like for you to stay unharmed until I grow bored. Mentally, I mean.”
[HYJ] “And my body doesn’t matter?”
[SHJ] “If your bulk decreases, you’ll be easier to carry around.”
so "i'm making food for you" but also "i don't care if your health deteriorates and/or you lose weight, as long as you're useful". an interesting combination of messages to send, given that HYJ's also struggling in this scene to figure out what SHJ wants from him, what with seemingly looking out for him and his loved ones by lending Sillekia to BYR for fighting HYH, but also still continuing with this "my item" shit and only looking at him for his usefulness. but this instance IS notable in that it's the first time SHJ cooks for HYJ. a slight turning point in their relationship...?
it does seem so cuz after that... HYJ becoming sick of orange- and apple-flavored mana potions because he chugs them so often, and SHJ responding to this in chapter 185 (birthday arc, before HYJ admitted he stole his memories) by acquiring swiss chocolate-flavored mana potions for him. already he's started with the little treats.
and then. sorry i'm feeling the 216 feelings. 1 minute. Okay normal. and then. yes once again it's chapter 216, when SHJ first starts making readably genuine attempts at kindness towards HYJ, starting the entire interaction by making him a drink that "looked like it was just juice, but it was actually sweet. Tasty." normal behavior from SHJ to rent out the entire rooftop pool and bar to show off his bartending skills to HYJ btw.
then the VR dungeon arc, where SHJ can't see HYJ until he installs the first disc, but the moment he does he starts being absolutely unbearable, the relevant part being when HYJ's reached Achates and is stressed out over HYH's treatment to the point of losing his appetite, at which point SHJ sends him the "Must Eat Well" quest to coax him into eating, rewarding him with chocolate-flavored mana potions, which HYJ himself admits remind him of SHJ:
‘But why are they chocolate-flavored?’
It made me think of that person. It had tasted good.
we're told in chapter 249 that SHJ needs to expend tremendous effort to give HYJ quest rewards and that whatever he gives usually gets cut down (he's talking about point conversions there but i suspect it applies to other rewards as well). so to specifically seek out two potions, especially ones he knows HYJ will prefer more than the common fruit-flavored ones... [puts on my large jinjae-shaped sunglasses like that shit they sell for new years]
and ok i jumped ahead to 249 for the rewards thing but come back to 245 with me and look at that series of cooking quests SHJ sent HYJ to guide him through cooking dinner for himself and HYH. copying over my discord messages from when this chapter dropped for this part of the analysis:
ALSO SPEAKING OF SHJ
that chain of quests at the end. he is driving me crazy
but yes the cooking quests. like. okay. I mentioned before [...] that I considered this a jinjae scene chapter because. the layers of it all right. he sees hyj wants to cook for his brother but can't decide what to make/how to make it cuz the decision paralysis is hitting after the longass day he's had. so he goes ahead and picks a meal and gives him step by step instructions. overly specific so hyj doesn't hit some dumb roadblock like "idk where the spatula is" and lose it for real. it took multiple quests to give the instructions it might've been easier to give him a prepared meal from whatever store he's picking these rewards from but he spent that time anyway because I'm pretty sure going through the process soothed hyj. normality after the Everything of it all. and then at the end of it because he Knows hyj is prone to not eating when he gets stressed he baits him into eating with rewards. like. Bro. Bro
like. OUGH. he cares. he cares....
AND ALSO
THAT LAST FUCKING QUEST
"made with a spoonful of your partner's love" IS NOT SOMETHING THE SYSTEM WOULD SAY
SHJ I KNOW YOURE LEANING INTO "OH NO THE SYSTEMS ALTERING MY MESSAGES DW" AND LETTING YOUR FEELINGS SHOW. YOUR PAPER THIN MASK
overemotional over cooking. god. god
and even after the cooking thing knowing that hyj would freak upon waking up and not seeing hyh and so keeping an eye on hyh and sending him a quest to tell him where he is....
like fuck dude. FUCK!
ok that's enough of that excerpt this is starting to derail from food analysis. wait hold on actually 249's point about the cost of sending quests and rewards makes the cooking quest series even more impactful because how much did SHJ spend to go to that level of detail and care for HYJ!!!
anyway back to food analysis. 256 where HYJ dies to the inscription process and SHJ purposely serves him bitter tea and sweet cookies to point out that he shouldn't take rewards that come at great costs. SHJ you really love communicating things to people through food, huh? but the fact that the second he's understood SHJ takes away the bitter tea and replaces it with something less bitter and more savory. the fact that when the scout finds him, the last thing SHJ does, even after draping his coat over HYJ to protect him from the shards of falling sky, is refill his teacup. the fact that HYJ drinks it and thinks about how it's warm.
GOD!!! do you see my vision. do you see. SHJ and HYJ and cooking and eating as an act of caring. an act of love.
I don't know why I'm even surprised, it's not like this is news, but Yoojin being stared at with open and vicious hostility by someone who is probably the most dangerous person on the entire planet at the moment, and this fucking man is like "...it was kind of thrilling". He laughs.
"It was possible [Sung Hyunjae] had never looked at anyone like this before."
"Even with two other S-Class Hunters in the room, Sung Hyunjae still looked only at me."
There is a lot happening right now, but the authorial decision to relay this to the reader by putting Song Taewon, Han Yoojin, and Sung Hyunjae alone in a room together had to have been The most chaotic way to go about it.
Case and point: Song Taewon heard 'possibility of double suicide' and didn't think twice. Sung Hyunjae is lovingly feeding them personally baked goods while nearly actually vibrating with the desire to absolutely murder both of them. Han Yoojin - the man who walked into this building prepared to blow it up with a bomb as an expression of disgruntlement - is currently the acting voice of reason as he desperately tries to referee this shit with a gun.
Some highlights:
SHJ: I'm still trying to decide if I should kill you.
HYJ: *oh free juice!* Officer Song, sit down please, he said he's still thinking about it.
---
STW&SHJ: *very literary showdown scene, very dramatic**you who are better than I at stripping away the monster and swallowing it whole-* *pst use looting* *pst I got it*
HYJ, in background: *staring into camera like he's on the office are you seeing this shit*
--
HYJ: You know you could die, right?
STW: I'm fine with that.
HYJ: Of course you are.
---
HYJ: WILL YOU BOTH JUST SHUT UP NO ONE IS DYING THIS TIME
"After seeing the engraving, that smiling face will become ugly."
Should have thought of THAT before volunteering yourself for experimental pseudo-neurosurgery, probably.
Twice.
Yoojin hasn't yet seemed to grasp the bullet he dodged that Young Chaos fixed the MAJOR problem before Myeongwoo had a chance to find it instead, though. Like, could you imagine? Myeongwoo scribbling away on three days microsleep and it suddenly hits him exactly what this was doing to Yoojin's body??? Could you imagine?
Actually, no promises he won't realize what it should have been doing to Yoojin anyway and only isn't by some random ("random") ("surprise backalley surgery with a stranger but yeah sure random") miracle.
Appearing in looming sleep-deprived vengeance in Yoojin's door armed with the moral high ground and adult communication skills.
That said, as cool as the visuals are, they made the choking thing so dramatic again. I get the visual medium thing, and needing those high energy beats, but Sung Hyunjae is just so casually menacing about it in the novel and Yoojin just.
