last night I heard my mom telling my dad, “I have two children, stop being the third”.
Peter Solarz
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@uberbiitch
last night I heard my mom telling my dad, “I have two children, stop being the third”.
do you think in the 1700s there were people who were like nah man Mozart’s a total sellout I only listen to peasants beating things with sticks it’s way more authentic
god remember watching tv shows on putlocker in 2012 and you’d have to find the watch button, carefully select the version with the best quality, and let the video load for 20 minutes so it didn’t endlessly catch up to itself. rip man
before i had gotten close with ex-catholics i was under the assumption that "catholic guilt" was mostly about sex, or serious topics.
but i was naïve. it's apparently about every positive experience. enjoying a meal? you're so lucky, children are starving. spending your day off cosy in bed? wow, so selfish, homeless people are freezing to death.
every former or present catholic i've met has a very obvious anxiety disorder and it's so painfully not a coincidence.
DAN LEVY as THOBY
Memes And Laughs
imagine youre cinderella and youre running away from the ball and your. actually i cant tell which shoe would be funnier to lose
in the mood to kiss a girl all over for 5 hours
lol (existential dread)
I've invented a new system of government where before you pass any bill it has to be read by a philosopher, community leader, and a historian who are all entitled to reject the bill and/or beat the shit out of you for anything they feel is blatantly evil
I'd like to start implementing this in Florida
I'd throw in a scientist as well TBH
A philosopher, a community organizer, a historian, a scientist, and a politician walk into a bar.
The politician slides the rest of them several stacks of paper.
They all go out to the parking lot.
A philosopher, a community organizer, a historian, and a scientist walk into a bar.
What is this, some kind of joke?
The punchline was in the parking lot.
Tumblr themes circa 2014
god no. not again.