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@uberdoobercool
one of the funniest conversations I ever had with my ex was when they were still getting used to Celsius and asked me "what's 20 degrees?" and instead of converting it, I said "it's the highest your dad will ever let you set the thermostat and when you say you're cold he tells you to put on another sweater, we're not made of money" and they went "oh, 68"
the fact that this reference was that fucking precise was something they went on to tell people about for years.
You know what? Forget the discourse. This is no longer my hill to die on.
You wanna ship canonically aspec characters because “aro/ace people can still date/have sex”? Okay, then. LET’S DO IT. I wanna see an aromantic character with an alloromantic love interest. I wanna see that confession of undying love and the moment when the aro character says they will never feel the same way—not romantically.
I wanna see the asexual character with their allosexual partner. I wanna see that moment when the ace characters tries sex with their partner for the first time because they want to make them happy only to realize that they are 100% sex repulsed.
I wanna see the two demiromantics who don’t even know if what they feel is romantic attraction, but they adore each other and just want to make healthy snacks together and destroy each other at Mario Kart.
I wanna see the two aces who love sensual affection and are figuring out what they define as sexual or not.
I wanna see the romance + sex neutral aroace who happily and consensually does whatever makes their partner happy…but their partner still struggles with feeling undesired.
Oh, babe. You thought shipping an aspec character would be just like shipping an allo character?
Hey, you, cis girl that's very (correctly) vocal about women being allowed to talk about their periods, do you include trans women in that?
I ask because every single time I've tried to talk about it to anyone that isn't a trans woman they get fucking angry. Which has caused me to have to just suffer in silence every single month. So I really relate to cis women when they talk about literally the exact same thing; being shamed by everyone around them their whole lives for talking about their periods, so they just suffer in silence every month as it negatively impacts their work and social lives. But I don't even feel like I can voice that I am literally dealing with the same exact thing because most of y'all react like you want to throw me in front of a bus for saying it, even those of you who act like your such big great transfem allies.
I guess I'll take this opportunity to talk about trans women periods. The first thing any tme person thinks when they hear this is always "how can trans women have periods? They don't have uteruses!"
The answer is: the uterus isn't what causes your period, it is effected by your period. What causes your period and what causes trans women's periods is the same thing: the endocrine system.
HRT changes the sex of your endocrine system. Feminizing HRT makes it a female endocrine system, giving us a 28-day hormone cycle just like cis women. At the end of that cycle, the hypothalamus floods the body with prostaglandins. Those are what cause all but one of the period symptoms, because they make muscles inflame and contract. They are what make the uterus shed its lining, they are what cause intestinal cramps, they are what cause body aches, they are what cause headaches and migraines. The only period symptom not causes by the release of prostaglandins throughout the body is depression, and that is caused by your endocrine system simply not processing as much estrogen and from simply feeling like shit.
So, the only symptoms trans women don't get every 28 days is menstrual cramps, because yes we do not menstruate since we don't have uteruses. But migraines, depression, body aches, intestinal cramps, and the infamous "period shits" don't exactly add up to us having any better of a time. Except we have to pretend that we're fine and nothing is different because no one believes that we get periods, not even cis women.
"But you can't call it a period then because that refers to MENSTRUATION!" is another one I hear all the time. This is incorrect. You use the word "period" instead of just "menstruation" because it doesn't just refer to menstruation. It refers to a period at the end of the hormone cycle where we experience a host of symptoms. And not all cis women experience all of the symptoms that encompass the period. Not all cis women get migraines, or body aches, or have severe depression. If a cis woman gets a hysterectomy she doesn't menstruate either! In that instance she experiences an identical period to what trans women experience. Yet, I doubt you'd insist that cis women who've had hysterectomies don't have periods.
i love them very much
transfems complimenting each other’s look: you’re teeth are looking very sharp today. it’s very cute of you.
Trans woman with it/its pronouns I love you
Me and this trans guy who I'll call Jim jointly run trans events from time to time in an art centre that's the converted bottom floor of a 19th century mansion. It's in a pretty sketchy part of town when it comes to street harassment (not ideal but the owners let us use it for free which is why we don't go somewhere else) so, even though I could walk, I normally get someone to drive me so I can jump right out of the car and into the building.
The most recent time, I arrived half an hour before the event as usual, but the building was locked. We don't have a key and the door is normally left open for us. Jim shows up a few minutes later, we can't get in, and we're just standing on the street in a sketchy part of town.
I suggest we message everyone and move the event to somewhere else, a local bar that's very safe, it means we won't be able to do what we had planned but we can at least sit inside and socialise for an hour or two. Jim doesn't like this idea. So we wait on the street as several people walk past giving us weird looks.
After about 10 minutes, Jim thinks he sees someone through a window inside the house. We know there are theoretically people who live above the arts centre, but we've never seen them before. Jim starts hammering on the door, and the people on the street are staring at us even more.
Then Jim decides to stary yelling, not just "Hello", but "Hello we're from the transgender group!" at the door, really loudly. People are really looking now. He keeps doing this for about five minutes until eventually a man actually opens the door and asks "What do you want?"
I can tell instantly that this guy has *views* on trans people, gay people, the usual. But Jim just says, loudly enough for everyone nearby to hear too, "Hi, we're here from the transgender group, we're holding a transgender event in here!" This guy thinks for a second then his eyes narrow and he looks directly at *me* with a kind of vicious disgust that I recognise all too well.
I have to explain that Jim started medical transition very young. He looks and sounds totally indistinguishable from a cis man, to the extent that many people within the community privately doubt that he is trans at all (he is though). I don't mean to imply that he doesn't face transphobia, even the most perfectly "passing" trans man faces a ton of discrimination for that transness. I just mean to point out that this man looked down at us on the doorstep and saw what he would describe as a man in men's clothing, and a potential T-slur in women's clothing, and then heard Jim essentially say "we're transgender", and he knew that he had clocked me correctly, and that disgust I saw in his face was that confirmation that one of *them* was here in his house.
In the end, nothing bad happened, the guy stood there blocking our entry for a minute, but eventually grunted something and wandered off. But it took me a while to realise that I was actually a bit shaken up by the whole thing.
Seeing Jim so casually and repeatedly out both of us to the whole street and also this one guy, really hammered home the point that he is totally unaware of the gulf in danger levels faced by the two of us. And the frustrating thing is, even if I pointed this out to him, he would say I was overreacting because nothing bad happened, did it?
i think you should have to come out as cis or straight. stop assuming it's the default and everything else is a deviation.
you can reblog this btw. make cis people feel uncomfortable about assuming they are "normal" and we are "other". make straight people feel uncomfortable assuming they are "regular" and we are "deviant".
We didn’t have a word for our, as you guys call, gay/lesbian people. So we coined that word as an umbrella for all our tribes. We never said, “Well, you’re transgender. You’re bisexual. You’re lesbian.” We never knew those terms. Those are all from Western culture, you know, LGBTQ and all that. So on some level, it’s about getting rid of labels. Those terms were forced upon us.
This is really important
you understand that there's nothing wrong with wanting people to pay attention to you, right? it's not intrinsically evil, you are allowed to want to be seen. you can do it in soft and nice and good ways, but you don't even have to. you can just want to be seen.
if you respond to sincerity with "ironic" deflection, people will learn that they can't be sincere with you. do you want people to be sincere with you? you have to be sincere with people.
if you want to be loved, don't play hard to get, make the act of loving you feel good. if you liked it, just say thank you. being embarrassed is cute.
Heard a car horn today that was tuned to a fifth. Fucked up, kinda delightful
I want people to understand how jarring this was. Most car horns are either a single tone or two tones somewhere in the neighborhood of a minor third apart:
Pretty normal rush hour sounds, yeah? But this thing sounded something like this:
Fucked up! Didn't even realize it was a car horn at first, I didn't know what the fuck it was! It was weird as hell!
unexpected sounds can really shift your whole perception of a space.
this is my custom tumblr dashboard
it only shows me posts from 2013 that have zero notes
its my preferred way of viewing the website
jowls are normal double chin is normal stretch marks are normal armpit fat is normal. none of the things that tiktok and instagram are telling you to change are things you need to even consider changing. you can have a normal body, it will be okay
It's fun being with a class full of people who are learning to identify plants and I am just like That Is A Yellow Passionflower Vine. Due To The Way That It Looks
writing a movie about a violent man in a dress who kills women out of a desire to become one and then insisting over and over that it can't be transphobic (despite it's cultural influence to the contrary) because he isn't a real tranny is. well it's beyond parody isn't it.
reallyyy not a fan of the habit people have of deflecting guilt for making abhorrent and obvious caricatures of trans women in media by insisting that it was actually super progressive because he wasn't a real transsexual!! you see the same shit with rhps. just a complete failure to take some accountability and say "yeah that was insensitive we shouldn't have depicted a real group of people that way and it has brought them material harm as a result."
It's so frustrating when people pull the "but he isn't a trans woman," like yes, the transmisogynistic caricature will not be called a woman by the source material, please consider why that is
"The Hateful Image of You is a community building thing for us though." "We felt so safe in The Hateful Image of You it let us explore ourselves." "The Hateful Image of You inspired women to join imperialist government organizations." "Honestly I dont even care how you feel about The Hateful Image of You it doesn't matter that nobody acknowledges the affect it has on You." "I have personally helped facilitate dozens of productions of The Hateful Image of You its not amazing its just a movie."
Silence of the Lambs, Ace Ventura, RHPS, Sleepaway Camp, Longlegs, Psycho, the list goes on and on and on and The Hateful Image of You lives on in the hearts of everyone around us and TME people expect us to just, not care? Is it so hard to empathize with a trans woman for one minute that they can't even conceive of having The Hateful Image of You depicting yourself in a warped portrait with blood smeared on it and how it makes us feel? Especially that its a beloved community gathering thing to take part in The Hateful Image of You? That The Hateful Image of You unites everyone else in enjoying it? That the sharing of it perpetuates its renewal over and over again?
Nah, I'mma be a loud pissed off tranny about it. The least I can do to fight what kills so many of us before we can even be ourselves is shit on every one of these shitty fucking things yall make. Fuckin Hell.
