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My mind is blown I can’t believe I didn’t know this before?? Unfortunately she passed away in 2008 but Meowth was such an absolute favorite character from my childhood, like of all time. Major respect for navigating the tv industry as a trans and intersex woman during that time period, especially in children’s media. Rest in peace🖤

gaycommunist

a dialogue between the unloved and the loving

neil hilborn // miranda july // @orpheuslament // aaron o’hanlon // georges bataille // natalie wee “least of all” // @fridayiminlovemp3 // maria petrovykh “love me. i am pitch black” // “the seven husbands of evelyn hugo” // sylvia plath “johnny panic & the bible of dreams” // mary oliver “wild geese” // sue zhao // virginia woolf from a letter to katherine mansfield // trista mateer

aconissa

TO BE MADE AND REMADE IN A LOVER’S HANDS

Natalie Diaz, ‘Postcolonial Love Poem’ Jeanette Winterson, Written on the Body Rainer Maria Rilke, Book of Hours (trans. Barrows & Macy) Auguste Rodin, Cathedral & Combinations Audre Lorde, ‘On a Night of the Full Moon’ Margaret Atwood, Power Politics James Baldwin, Giovanni’s Room

themysteriousvanishingofelectra

noticed similarities between virginia woolf and my myriad of selves

firstfullmoon

some tender correspondence:

• “I keep wishing for you, keep shutting up my eyes and looking toward the sky, asking with all my might for you, and yet you do not come. I thought of you, until the world grew rounder than it sometimes is, and I broke several dishes.” (emily dickinson to minnie holland)

• “I always have such need to merely talk to you. Even when I have nothing to talk about – with you I just seem to go right ahead and sort of invent it. I invent it for you. Because I never seem to run out of tenderness for you and because I need to feel you near. Excuse the bad writing and excuse the emotional overflow. What I mean to say, perhaps, is that, in a way, I am never empty of you; not for a moment, an instant, a single second.” (virginia woolf to vita sackville-west)

• “I am reduced to a thing that wants Virginia. I composed a beautiful letter to you in the sleepless nightmare hours of the night, and it has all gone. I just miss you, in a quite simple desperate human way. (…) I can’t be clever and stand-offish with you: I love you too much for that. Too truly.” (vita sackville-west to virginia woolf)

• “I really am in need of comfort, the kind that springs from that dear, superhumanly kind heart of yours.” (franz kafka to felice bauer)

• “No, I didn’t imagine my being alone with you the way you do. If I want the impossible, I want it in its entirety. Entirely alone, dearest, I wanted us to be entirely alone on this earth, entirely alone under the sky, and to lead my life, my life that is yours, without distraction and with complete concentration, in you.” (franz kafka to felice bauer)

• “Rain finally came + it’s beautifully cool. Wonder how long it will last. It was marvelous because it started suddenly and then was alternately terrific and gentle. I think of you all the time and therefore have little to say that would not embarrass you, for instance my first feeling about the rain was that it was like you.” (john cage to merce cunningham)

• “During all this time I dreamt about you only once, and even then, very fleetingly. When I woke up, I couldn’t remember the whole dream, but I felt there was something very lovely in it; like when you sometimes feel, without opening your eyes, that it is sunny outside – and then unexpectedly later, near evening, thinking again about the dream, I suddenly understood that the lovely, exciting thing that was hiding in it was you, your face, your very movement – flashing through my dream and making of it something sunny, precious, immortal. I want to tell you that every minute of my day is like a coin with you on the other side, and that if I hadn’t remembered you every minute, my very features would have changed.” (vladimir nabokov to véra nabokov)

• “Je voudrais aussi être quelque chose de sûr et de doux pour toi: mon amour, une fleur qui ne fanerait pas et dont le parfum te griserait.” [I would also like to be something certain and soft for you: my love, a flower which would never wither and whose scent would be intoxicating.] (natalie barney to liane de pougy)

• “Goodnight dear. If you were in my bed it might be the back of your head I was touching, where the hair is short, or it might be up in the front where it makes little caves above your head. But wherever it was, it would be the sweetest place, the sweetest place.” (zelda fitzgerald to f. scott fitzgerald)

junebugjules

when sylvia plath wrote “the silence depressed me. it wasn’t the silence of silence. it was my own silence.” and when anne carson wrote “why does tragedy exist? because you are full of rage. why are you full of rage? because you are full of grief.” and when jenny slate wrote “and i am getting older but i am not growing up and my heart is getting soft dark spots on it like a fruit that has gone bad.” and when virginia woolf wrote “to want and not to have, sent all up her body a hardness, a hollowness, a strain.” and when susanna kaysen wrote “when you’re sad, you need to hear your sorrow structured into sound.” and when margaret atwood wrote “already my childhood seemed far away – a remote age, faded and bittersweet, like dried flowers. did i regret its loss, did i want it back? i didn’t think so…” and when gillian flynn wrote “i was not a lovable child, and i’d grown into a deeply unlovable adult.”

snailmailthings

DEATH BY DESPAIR

Adela’s House, Mariana Enríquez tr. Meghan McDowell / Stephen Colbert, Flipped Interview: John Oliver / Wikipedia entry for Widowhood Effect / The Yellow Dwarf, Madame d'Aulnoy tr. James Robinson Planché / Tristán e Isolda (La muerte), Rogelio de Egusquiza (1910) / A Physiologist’s Wife, Arthur Conan Doyle

eggcessive

“We’ve been through much together, you and I. And I just wanted to say I’m sorry it ended like this.”  “Sorry? You need a bigger word than sorry.”

gaycommunist

i’ve got all this rage in me and i don’t know where to put it

@rbhvleo // paul miller “utopia” // “the book of promothea” hélène cixous tr. betsy wing // gillian flynn “dark places” // ginger snaps // @heavensghost // @vawium // @traumathoughts // lucille clifton “leukemia as white rabbits” // ahamkara lustre print // audre lorde

b-oredzoi

Filial cannibalism is perfectly natural, dear. Animals do it all the time. Now eat your dinner.

The binding of isaac // "to the detriment of daughters" kelsey lansgaard // sharp objects // "The Last Days of Judas Iscariot" stephen adly guirgis // hereditary // the vvitch // jennifer's body // stoker // @filmnoirsbian // mad men

gaycommunist

david berman “self portrait at 28” // @psychedellic-phase “fifteen” // virginia woolf // @heavensghost sufjan stevens “futile devices” // richard siken “wishbone”// franz kafka // ivan turgenev “first love” // anne sexton “mama and papa dance”

peoplehood-deactivated20211003

ON BATHING YOUR LOVER

Ilya Kaminsky, “While the Child Sleeps Sonya Undresses” / Joni Mitchell, All I Want / John Edmonds, “Men Like Us,” New York Times Style Magazine / u/expensivetill9 on Reddit / Mitski, I Will / Benjamin Alire Sáenz, Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe / David Hockney, Domestic Scene / Elizabeth Bishop, “The Shampoo” / Homer, The Odyssey

gaycommunist

i’ve got all this rage in me and i don’t know where to put it

@rbhvleo // paul miller “utopia” // “the book of promothea” hélène cixous tr. betsy wing // gillian flynn “dark places” // ginger snaps // @heavensghost // @vawium // @traumathoughts // lucille clifton “leukemia as white rabbits” // ahamkara lustre print // audre lorde

gaycommunist

why didn’t you make me good enough.. so that you could’ve loved me?

“washing machine heart” mitski // eila chatti “faulty” // livia laing “the lonely city // anais nin // normal people (2020)// @ibvyache // @psychwarded // neta l. @psychicdonuts // noor unnahar