Ulcerative Colitis and Us

Hi, I'm CC. I am 22. Quick background: In March 2012 I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis. I had symptoms as early as October 2011. From October on, my symptoms included diarrhea, bloody stool, severe cramps, and weight loss. Typical symptoms, all of which had quite an effect on my basketball career and school in general. Once I was diagnosed with this disease, I was put on Prednizone, and Asacol. The symptoms didn't stop, and the Asacol gave me hives. Then I was put on Apriso along with the Prednizone. The Apriso made me so nauseous that I threw up several times a day. Next was Balsalazide. After several adjustments of the dosage, I was able to wean myself off the Prednizone. I had been on Prednizone for 7 months. I had typical Prednizone symtoms as well. On only the Balsalazide I was starting to significantly improve for almost 2 months. After some stressful events normally associated with college life all my symptoms returned. A major flare up... My previous GI had always pushed for the Humira and Remicade. My family and I were not comfortable with those medications because of their harsh side effects. So here I was in a flare up with a medication that did not work. That's when Mom happened upon the Specific Carbohydrate Diet or SCD. This is where our story begins. Please read our blog which include our individual feelings (good and bad) about this experience. Hope you can take something from this. CC & Mom

[ucandus]

The Litric Crowne - Chapter 1 (on Wattpad) http://w.tt/1q6gw2V It was a normal trip out into the Cyclic's northern forests to search for a totem, a normal trip that turned Rhea's life around forever. The trip where she met Cleed and Rhea saw his hand held the same sigil that was burned into Rhea's hand signifying her linked power with Kliff. The power meant she wasn't alone, and after all her efforts to keep Kliff safe and stay away from the Freis, Cleed convinces her to hike into the southern valley to save other Litrics. Rhea finds herself using a power she had forgotten about a long time ago, one she had tried to hide, one she had tried to contain, one she had pushed so far deep into a memory that she had hoped it almost wasn't real. Rhea can't hide from who she is, she can't hide from what she's meant to be, no matter how much she wants to. As the Fries close in on Rhea she's forced to unveil herself and fight for what she's always wanted, a home.

[ucandus]

Alone

Sometimes I wish I had more uc buddies to talk to in person. I know a lot of people have uc and crohns, but it's just not that appealing of a thing to talk about. But no one, NO ONE can understand exactly what we go through. The sheer terror of seeing blood in your stool and you have no idea why. The horrific cramps, the fatigue, the constant bathroom trips, and yes even the occasional accident. I know I'm not alone, I know I'm not the only one experiencing this, and I know I don't have the worst case. But as I sit on the toilet feeling guilty for smelling up the same bathroom in less than two hours I can't help but feel utterly and completely alone. That is the worst part about this disease.

It's something people want to hide, it's embarrassing, and it's awful. Nobody wants to talk about poop. Nobody wants to explain their symptoms as diarrhea, blood, cramps, and occasional accidents. That's stuff old people do. And that's exactly what it makes you feel like. Old. I don't like going out often because I get tired easy. I worry when I don't know if I'll have easy access to a bathroom. No matter how good my symptoms get I still worry. I think about it constantly. Every building I've walked into since I had symptoms I have known where the bathroom is. I know the most direct route, and I know just how close I have to be when my stomach cramps. It has become my new normal. I have gotten more comfortable with it, but I still feel guilty for having it, for having symptoms because other people can tell. And it evokes two reactions disgust, or pity. Niether one I want. I can deal with my symptoms, but I don't want to force other people to deal with it. And that all circles back to the problem that it's hard to talk about, because poop, shit, stool, feces, whatever you call it is such a taboo topic in America.

And when you can't talk about it, you feel alone. So when I meet people with UC, Crohns or even mild IBS, I dive into my problems I tell them every intimate, uncomfortable detail because the more I talk about it, the more I can accept it myself. It is and always will be a part of my life. But I want to talk about it with people who understand, and only someone who has gone through this really gets it.

There was a guy at my recent internship who had UC.  He wasn't much of a people person, and I found out he had UC. I didn't say anything to him, but he came up to me, and brought it up. And when he opened up to me about it, I can't even describe the joy and the relief I felt knowing I wasn't alone, and that someone, someone I could see, touch, and hear, a real person had this disease and dealt with similar symptoms. It made me feel more connected to that individual. I could rant, and laugh about colitis things, it was almost as if I was normal.

So when I saw a fellow colleague of mine asking for donations for her fiancé because he had UC and couldn't pay his medical bills, I felt a mix of emotions. One I was enraged. (I cannot be completely sure they weren't spending their money elsewhere foolishly) but I have gone through the same issues, if not worse, and for longer than they had. And there are individuals out there worse off than I am. But I don't use pity to earn money. I never will. Pity is the worst emotion someone can show when I explain my disease. I hate it. This disease makes me mad, hurt, angry, and more but I'll be dammed if I am going to show anyone else that, because this is my battle that I was given, and I am going to deal with it. I am stronger for it.

The other emotion I felt was an unyielding need to empathize. I know how much it made me feel better when someone did that for me, and I wanted to reach out and soothe them. I wanted to tell them it was manageable, it was going to be okay, it was normal. I wanted to explain how I understood what he was going through, I wanted to relate and help. I know the fear that comes along with the unknown symptoms, the cancer threats, the medical bills you cannot pay but have to have. It's crippling, and no wonder these diseases caused by stress create more stress. It's a vicious cycle. But I don't know the guy, I know his fiancé- barely. I messaged them briefly, but I had to bite back the urge to say so much more. I risk giving out way more information than they even wanted, or I just tell them I'm here for them, I understand. But those words don't even do it justice.

If I can help others in whatever way I can, I'll know this disease wasn't for nothing. I was given this challenge because I can handle it. That's what everybody everywhere who is struggling with something should know.

Best Wishes

CC

[ucandus]

I Have a Problem with Authority

So I had a few drinks, and I caved. Gummy worms are just too tempting, and my will power is nonexistent. Well I feel okay right now. Still debating how I will feel later. But I am not going to worry about that right now. Every time I begin to worry about some nonexistent problem I have decided to stop, and take a deep breath. If it's not happening right now, why should I worry about it? Right.

Well on to my actual point. I have always listened to people who have more power than me. Either my parents, police, teachers, anybody who I saw in a higher standing than myself, I listened to. I know I do that, and I will follow an order, and ask no questions about it. Of course I rebelled against my parents cause that's what I was supposed to do. But in reality I wasn't that bad. I know this doesn't sound like I have a problem with authority, but let me explain.

I had to have gummy worms last night, and it was cause I was tired of telling myself I couldn't have it. I may follow everyone else's rules, but I refuse to let myself set boundaries and limitations. If I want a dam gummy worm, then I am going to have a gummy worm. I am to the point where I am done limiting myself on rules I have made up. I will deal with consequences. I am not totally giving up on this diet, but I am not going to be so ultra strict that I can hardly function because of it. I refuse to let my stomach control my life, and right now, he wants to be the authority, and I have a problem with him.

CC

[ucandus]

Stress is killing me

So as far as the diet goes, I've been on it, well now I am. There for a while I was on the eat whatever I fucking feel like diet. Which included fries, croissants, ice cream, pop, any kind of fast food, and more. It was safe to say I was not doing well. It sent me spiraling into a flare, and then I got the notice from the doc for my second colonoscopy. Oh yay. So I tried to quickly get back on the diet, so my doc would stop pushing humira on me (which even though I was doing fine, he still is) But I tried and tried to get my system straight only to realize that the prep they give you for the colonoscopy has sugar in it. Well dam. So that sent me over the edge. So I started from scratch. Again. And for whatever reason now, I am really having issues getting everything to come together. (Maybe Alex is getting stronger). So basically I am trying desperately not to lose faith in the diet, and with every fast food joint I pass, and every time there is still blood in my stool my will power dwindles. I am pretty sure what is going on in my life is causing the problems. (student loans, part time-minimum wage job, mother who wants to fight a lot, trying to earn enough to live my own). But there is really not a whole lot I can do about it right now. I don't necessarily feel overly stressed. I am not even sure I know what the difference is. I always feel like this- and in that I think lies the problem.

So the other day my father (who takes anti-anxiety pills to help him sleep--otherwise he cannot sleep and loses all this weight, etc...) suggested that maybe this was the way I handled my stress, like he handles his through not sleeping. He suggested that I go see his doctor. At first I shrugged him off. Nothing else was working, why would this? 

But then I got to thinking about it. Maybe he was right. UC is related to stress, right? Aren't all autoimmune disorders? (rhetorical question) So instead of shutting my immune system down (humira) why wouldn't you try to stop it at the cause of the problem. If I can lower my stress, then the diet should overpower whatever else is in my colon rampaging around. So I have an appointment. I might go on anti anxiety drugs. I'm just hoping that I can hold off from the fast food until then.

Maybe this will work. Maybe it won't. At this point I am down to try anything, except stronger drugs that I would have to INJECT into my body. That just doesn't sound like a compelling idea to me, not to mention I know of people who do that, and still have problems. I'm not going to pay all that money and push a foreign substance into my body for something that might not even work. I know anti anxiety medication has its own set of problems, but let me make this clear. I am very wary of UC medications because of my experience with them. I do not think all medications are evil.

Besides the point. I want something to work. I am tired of feeling this way, and tired of explaining to people why I keep running to the bathroom after I eat. It's embarrassing. Will keep you updated tumblr. Even if no one reads this, I feel better, because just having followers makes me feel like I'm not alone in this. Thank you. Until next time.

CC

[ucandus]

Keeping up

I have not been very good at keeping up with my blog. A lot of things have been going on, and frankly I've simply become too busy, even though I graduated. My diet always suffers when I travel because lets be honest, it's a difficult diet anyway, and yet when I drink, my will power becomes about oh, nothing. All summer I've have been traveling, and I keep going okay, this will be the last time I will eat a fry. PSH. I could live off fries if they didn't make me bloat and put me in such pain. Anyway. I will be home for a while, and I plan on sticking to it this time. I am tired of feeling this way, and now that I have figured out that vegetable oil is not a part of the diet (mixed it up with canola oil) I feel like I can finally get my shit together (HA. HA.) However now that I have a newfound confidence in this diet I want to become healthy, I want to become as normal as I once was, and I want to work out again. Have the energy to be happy again.

The other day I had someone tell me how lucky I am that I can eat like shit and technically lose weight. Now. I guess that is a positive way of looking at my situation, but it almost makes me sad to think oh if you only knew. I try to be as nonchalant as I can, I try to shrug this whole thing off like it is not a big deal. But lets all be realistic here. When you have to be careful of where you go given the bathroom situation it is a big deal. I always worry about it, and with an auto immune disease that feeds off stress that just isn't good for me. I try to say its okay just deal with things as they come along. Life doesn't work like that. I have loans I have to pay off, I am interested in someone who lives several hundred miles away, and I don't have a job. One thing I am starting to realize is that I need to find my outlet to let it all go. I need to find the thing that makes me go alright I can do this, I can handle this, and I will be okay. Because I thought my stress would evaporate after I graduated. Boy was I naive. But one way or another I'll figure it out because the world isn't going to stop moving for me.

I'll get a job, I'll pay off my loans, I'll figure out my relationships, and I'll get my body under my control (because I'll be damned if Alex is going to rule my life forever). Do I know if any of these things will happen? No. But I have no other option but to believe it, because I will surely go crazy if not.

Back to the grind. It's time to take control of my life again. Until next time tumblr.

CC

[ucandus]

Educating a Friend

Me: So, let's say that you're at school and you see a guy you know. I mean, you guys talk every once in a while and he's pretty cool, but you're not like friends or anything. You just talk to him every once in a while.

Guy Friend: What's his name?

Me: I don't know. Frank?

Guy Friend: No.

Me: Okay, fine. His name is Will. Okay?

Guy Friend: I don't think it really suits him, but okay.

Me: ...So anyway, you're at school during lunchtime and you see Will. So, you notice Will's not eating anything. That's when you realize that Will has no lunch, no money for lunch, and no way of getting either. He's just sitting there like he normally would. He's not acting any differently and he's not asking anyone for anything. Not money, not a fry, not even a salt packet, but you know he's gotta be hungry. So, what do you do?

Guy Friend: Do I have any money?

Me: Yeah. You have enough for you and another meal.

Guy Friend: Duh, I buy him lunch.

Me: Okay, cool. So, like you said, you buy him lunch. You buy your lunch and you buy his lunch and you go over and hand it to him. And, he says, "Wow. You know, that's really nice of you, but I wasn't gonna ask anyone for lunch. I was probably just gonna wait until I got home to eat." And, then you say--

Guy Friend: Nah, it's cool.

Me: Exactly. You say, "Nah, it's cool. I'm just being nice. It's a gift." And, Will says, "You know, that's awesome. You're really nice, bro." And, after that, you guys start hanging out. You guys are like really good buds. You are always hanging out and laughing and just having a good time. So, you guys are friends for a few months, and it's tons of fun. Then, one day, you go up to Will and you say, "Hey, Will, you know, I've been thinking, and I kinda want that five bucks."

Guy Friend: What five bucks?

Me: Hold on. I'm getting there. So, Will says, "What five bucks?" To which, you reply, "Well, we've been hanging out for a long time and it's been really fun, but like, I've done a lot of really nice things for you. Like, I'm always nice to you and I always listen and do things you wanna do, so I was thinking that because I've been so nice, you should pay me back that five bucks I spent to get your lunch right before we started really hanging out."

Guy Friend: What? Why would I--

Me: I'm not done yet. So, then Will looks kinda hurt and he says, "But I thought you were just being nice. I thought that was just a gift." So, you say, "Whether or not it was a gift, don't you think you kinda owe me that five bucks since I've been so nice to you?" And, Will says, "No. I don't think I owe you that!" And you get mad, so you say, "Well, I think that you do, so I think you're being really shitty and stuck up about this and I feel like I've been completely wronged."

Guy Friend: Oh, my God. That's so fucked up of me. I would never do that to Will. Will was nice. We were buds. That's way screwed.

Me: I know, right? Hey, just wondering, have you ever heard of this fictional place called "The Friendzone?"

Guy Friend: Well, yeah, but...

Guy Friend: ...

Guy Friend: ...

Guy Friend: oh

[ucandus]

Sigh

I don't think Alex wants me to eat anymore. Every time I do Alex throws a hissy fit that sends me to the toilet for hours.

[ucandus]

Random Thoughts

In a bit of a flare up, ate a few things I probably shouldn't have. Well now I'm here and as I spend 45  minutes on the toilet every morning I think about a statement I had made a few months earlier when things were good. I had said that I would not, had I been given the option, change the fact that I got this disease because it made me who I am today.

Well now.... Alex seems to want to challenge my reserves and make me regret what I say. As he's tearing it up inside my colon I sit there cursing my decision to eat that damn piece of bread, that extra chocolate, the drink that was oh so delicious. It's not so delicious anymore.

I guess what I came to the conclusion was, that yeah in the long run, after it's all said and done and things are normal, life isn't so bad, because you don't remember the pain when it goes away, not really. You forget just how intense it can get. You forget exactly what it feels like when you can't even hardly breathe because of the pain. You forget all those things. You knew it was painful, but it's as if your brain says, no child, we do not need to remember that. So I guess yeah after it's all over, it's easy to say it made me who I am today, and I'm stronger now because of it. It's easy to say you would go through it again when you don't remember what it feels like to be in pain.

Right now, in the thick of it, I don't feel very strong, in fact I feel like I'll break at any moment. Say screw it, and fall into a million pieces. It should would be easier, wouldn't it? But it wouldn't change or help anything. When I get up and put the pieces back together the puzzle will still have the same picture. I'll still be in this mess. I'll still be here, with Alex.

I guess the only thing I can say is this will either make me, turn me into a stronger human being, someone who can handle so much, or it won't, and I'll break. Only to turn around and pick up the pieces once more and continue on in this horrid cyclical pattern.

CC

[ucandus]

What I do instead of Final Papers

College graduation is coming up, and this makes me realize just how much I hate change. I think everyone does when we all get down to it. But I really hate it, and I am willing to acknowledge it. I was thinking about all the people I wouldn't see, and it sucks. But it is a part of life that is inevitable.

Then I got to thinking. I find it weird when I don't go to the bathroom at certain times of day, because I'm ready for it then, and I make my day around those instances. Little did I know that I get nervous and very distressed when my bowels are not in sync with my life. I always worry it will happen when I cannot go, and here I am in the middle of class worrying about that. I have so many other things to be worrying about but yet when one part of my day is messed up, the rest is practically a shit show (no pun intended).

So I guess my little revelation would be this. Life happens. Life gets in the way, and doesn't care who gets left behind waiting to catch up. You either move with it, or you don't. I need to start living my life like that. Don't be worrying about what ifs, and what wills and what did. Live in the now, and roll with the punches.

CC

[lifeaccordingtocrohns]

Reblog if you have IBD, be it Crohn's disease, Ulcerative Colitis, Indeterminate Colitis, or anything in between that is IBD.

I may follow you, but mostly I just want to see how many of us there are on Tumblr.  #curious

[ibdsupportivmom]

I don’t have IBD but my kid does!

[lifeaccordingtocrohns]

Reblog if you have IBD, be it Crohn's disease, Ulcerative Colitis, Indeterminate Colitis, or anything in between that is IBD.

I may follow you, but mostly I just want to see how many of us there are on Tumblr.  #curious

[ucandus]

So it's been a bit of a while.

Well. Let me just say I've been busy. That'll sum it up pretty well, but for those who care, or even want to read I'm going to spill some feelings here. After all, that's what this blog is for right?

Colitis wise, I've been good...Good is a bit of relative term. I mean I turned 21 recently, and those cranberry vodkas have stolen my health for the time being. A bit of control and I'm fine though. Made some chicken Parmesan tonight, definitely worth it.

This blog is more about other things that colitis. My disease has taken a back seat to a few other issues. I recently read a blog for an old teammate who no longer played. She and I had two very different experiences.

For those who don't know I was basically kicked off my team, because the coach had too many players, and she used my disease as an easy out. She wanted me to be a practice player/ manager, and I wanted no part of it. So I told her no, and that I was done.

I'm not sure if that was the most terrifying moment of my life, or the most liberating. Basketball is all I've ever known, since I was old enough to walk, since they had leagues at our community center, it's been my life. Ask any collegiate athlete ad they'll tell you the same thing. I felt lost. I didn't know who I was. I didn't know where I belonged. I didn't know what to do, how to tell people without feeling ashamed. To me I failed, and it was absolutely terrifying to face a normal life without the support of my team. I no longer knew how to describe myself, I suddenly had nothing to fall back on, and nothing to catch me, nothing to define who I was. I was scared. More scared than I had been in a long time.

I cried about it for quite some time. My parents reassured me everything would be fine, but how was I supposed to know.

Suddenly I had other things to worry about rather than basketball. It was new, fun, and mildly exciting. I was graduating a year early. I joined a rugby team, found friends I loved, joined a sculpture class, got a job (my first job, because I never had time to before), and suddenly I could go out on a Friday night and not worry about having a game the next day. Suddenly my life was free. My time was open, and my stress was gone.

As much as I loved the sport, the experiences I went through made me learn to hate it. A hate I told myself was what everyone went through. I wanted nothing to do with it. I wanted nothing to do with any sport. I didn't want to hold a ball. I wasn't forced to workout, and frankly, I didn't care if I never worked out again. Part of me realized that basketball was probably half the reason I ended up with an auto immune disease. Now I regret basketball. I regret spending years of effort, practice and time on it. Not because it gave me an auto immune disease. I couldn't be more grateful to have it. This disease reminds me every day of who I've become. I've become someone I am so proud of. I have become someone I love, and I know that no matter what life throws at me, I will be able to handle it, because I handled this. I am still here. I regret basketball because I fear I've lost out on many experiences that I was never able to have because of it.

One thing I have noticed is that I love to stay super busy. I joined a women's club rugby team, I work thirteen hours a week. I am taking five classes, and I'm doing community service on top of it. But I wouldn't have it any other way.

Sure basketball taught me a few good things, but one thing i never thought I'd say is this. I don't miss it one bit. I don't miss anything about it. I don't miss the drama, I don't miss the coaches, I don't miss the practices, games, intensity, pressure, sleepless nights, not even the traveling. I have grown to hate something I loved, and that more than anything upsets me. Because I don't miss basketball, I miss how I used to feel about it.

If I never play again, I won't care. I'm finally happy. I finally have time to do what I want to do. I can finally accomplish things that basketball never gave me time to do. I can be a whole new person. I can redefine myself into something I want to be, not something I have to be because I've always been one.  I'm finally free. I'll always be an athlete, but it no longer is all that I am. This is me. I'm a writer, a computer nerd, a horse lover, a bit of an artist, an adventurist, an impulsive planner, a fan girl, a quote enthusiast, a good student, a nature lover, and I have an auto immune disease. I love every part about me, and as much as I have struggled in the past years, I know who I am. And for once, I know what I want to do, and I can do it whenever I want.

Always follow your dreams, no matter what they say.

CC

[idontwantthisanymuchmuchmore]

Common Things That We All Do That Causes Cancer

Experts believe that cancer can be prevented with a simple lifestyle change. 

Check out what they are, and spread this out to raise awareness!

Read more

[ucandus]

Now its time to go into my protective bubble from the world.

[ucandus]

I'm in one of those pensive thoughtful moods where I contemplate my life, and things that have happened to me. Perhaps I just have too much time on my hands right now. Either way things have been going well for me UC wise.

On the other hand my coach decided for me that I couldn't play anymore. She offered me a chance to be a manager practice player, and as much as I liked the team, I couldn't get over the fact that the proposition seemed like a sort of demotion. Like I wasn't good enough. I was tired of people using MY disease as a reason why I couldn't do something when it wasn't a problem.

So I told her no.

I mean I wasn't going to play forever, I was done after college for sure. However now I feel so empty. I have a great job where my bosses love me, and I don't have to condition, and worry about foods and traveling and all those other "joys." Yet as I sit here and write this I can't help but feel lost.

It's one of those things you've done for so long that it had become a part of you. It was how i defined myself. It was something I always had to fall back on. Now what am I?

Someone with an autoimmune disease and a weird diet. Don't get me wrong, I have accepted my disease (I think), but I feel like I have lost a part of my identity. Now when I fall back I'm not always sure that I'll catch myself.

I'm at the point right now where I don't think about it. I've tried filling those empty spaces with other things, and I'm desperately searching for anything that will cover the hole at least.

I went skydiving the other day, and loved it. It was too expensive to really become a hobby. I looked into cage diving with Great White Sharks. Talk about expensive. I thought about getting another horse-money problems. So then I filled my time with work, and I guess it has been working. I'm so tired in the evenings I just want to go to sleep.

I think the worst part is when you have to embrace this change. I had someone who used to know me as a basketball player ask me how things were going, and I couldn't bring myself to tell her I wasn't on the team anymore. I'm so afraid to let go of that part of myself.

One step at a time. I'll make it through this just like I did with my UC. I just forgot how long, and painful a process like this could really be.

CC

[ucandus]

Irritated

I have to respond to something I saw on this site. It was blogged (is that what you say?) awhile ago, but it just irritates the hell out of me. Someone said, and I paraphrase, "It's fucking ridiculous that people think they can cure a chronic disease with a healthy diet." To all those people that feel this way I ask, is your medication curing your chronic illness? I would say NO it probably isn't. Hopefully, it is controlling your symptoms....... hopefully, without the horrendous side effects, but Im sure there has been no cure.  The followers of this diet are not saying it's a cure. Not at all. A chronic illness is just that, a CHRONIC illness. As you control your symptoms through medication, we control my daughter's through this diet. The medication was killing her. She was resistant to almost everything. So let me throw something you spewed out right back at you. Once again I paraphrase, it's fucking ridiculous to compare a healthy diet to taking medication. I mean why would you want to eat healthy food. Eat food that your body was meant to use as fuel. Food that helps rebuild, restore, and rejuvenate. Or.....pop a pill, or 15, and live with your hair falling out at the least, or long term internal damage, or a possible chance of contracting  another disease because of the pill you just took. Yeah, it's fucking ridiculous to compare the two. If your choice is to take the pills, and it works for you, great. That's is your choice. We are just saying there is another way. Another option. Sadly, no cure for either, but whatever works and gives you hope. 

Mom

[ucandus]

Long Time No Blog

Hi, it's been quite a while since I blogged last. One of the reasons is no news is good news. CC has been doing pretty good. She has had a rough couple of days recently, but we know exactly why. She had orange juice and chocolate. Now we have discovered, actually a SCD follower told us about dark chocolate, that CC might be able to tolerate dark chocolate. We are talking the 85 or 90% cocoa. It's very bitter, but she puts a little honey on it or we drizzle it over peanut butter fudge. YUM! Now, saying she can tolerate it and her eating a whole big bar of it in one or two sittings are two totally different things. She is also sneaking down the percentage scale. The culprit was 60% cocoa. For those of you that dont know, the farther down the % scale you go, the more sugar and SCD unfriendly stuff is added. Plus CC CAN NOT have oj. Tropicana Original is SCD friendly. It's not CC friendly though. This diet is very specific to the individual. That's why I think some people are not successful on the diet. You have to make adjustments for your specific situation. Onions are an issue for her as well. I have replaced those with milder versions. Shallots are a favorite, and don't seem to be an issue for her. We know this through trial and error. Pure and simple. Dont give up because it doesn't seem to be working. Just figure what your individual problem might be. It wont be easy at first, but once you figure it out, it becomes second nature. All that aside, it still gives me a knot in my stomach every time she says her morning was "bad". I don't think that will ever go away. I worry about the stress in her life. It doesn't seem to be the same trigger as it use to be, but I still worry. I immediately ask all the old questions. How many times have you gone to the bathroom? Was it runny? Was there blood? I hate that this will always be a part of her life. I hate it. Upside, she has behaved herself and things are going back to normal. Real normal, normal people normal. It probably wouldn't have been quite an issue had she made her yogurt and taken the probiotics. She seems to missing the fact that she needs to replace the bad bacteria with good, but I will hold my tongue. Not really, but she has to do this herself. She knows what to do, and she has to live with the fallout. Now I have to air this. Maybe I will see the ridiculousness of the situation and quit seeking something I probably wont get. I have a habit of asking every doctor I see if they have heard of this diet and what they think. It is rarely good. Had I not seen first hand the remarkable thing this diet has done, I would be a pure skeptic, but this diet was my daughter's lifeline.  So when I ask about the diet, and I get a negative or neutral answer I get pissed. How can they continue to say this doesn't work?! I've seen it! Stop saying it doesn't. It's so frustrating, so why do I keep seeking approval from someone from the medical field? They have let me down numerous times. What am I doing? Every time I ask the question and get the same old answer, I want to slap myself for asking. BIG HUGE SIGH.........I have to remember how ever it came about, she is healthy. Drug and symptom free. That's all that's important.

CC Mom

[ucandus]

I'm little off my course

I guess I deserve this. I assumed I was immune to all these symptoms now that I am on this diet. That maybe it was really gone. So a little bit more orange juice, and a tad too much dark chocolate and here we are again. I know better than this. I said I would deal with the consequences. I mean, It's been so long I guess I forgot exactly what that entailed.

No more dark chocolate. Giving my orange juice to a friend. I have to turn into strong willed CC again. Because I have awoken Alex. -_- I guess I hadn't heard from Alex in such a long time I wanted to make sure he was still there. He's like that annoying fly that never leaves. At first he's everywhere and then when it's gone, or so you think, and you begin to search for it, BAM. It buzzes across your vision once more again.

It was bound to happen. I suppose I need this. Because it reminds me exactly why I'm sticking to this. It reminds me exactly how important this is for me.

I'll get my bearings again, and find another way to lock Alex back in the dungeon. Now I just have to catch him. Been a rough couple days, just gotta keep going at it. 

CC